Until The Race Is Run

Success-simply defined as "the accomplishment of an aim or target; the achievement of popularity or profit".  For many of us, especially the Type A's of the world (such as myself), the quest for success is a driving force.  We construct our lives around the concept.  My career, my lifestyle, my education are all focused around this nebulous "prize" that I wanted to achieve.  How many times have I deconstructed and reconstructed my life in order to achieve "a dream"?   Somehow, I have often found myself feeling as though my dream never measured up.  Despite all that I have earned and worked for, it just wasn't enough.  Oddly, I realized I was never asking myself the right question.  Who defines my success? Reflecting on life, I realize that what I once used to drive my success is no longer what I see my success as.  As I have gotten older, I realize that I am successful, but on my terms, and not those that other place on me.  In this episode, I explore the concept of success and how while it can be a motivator

Welcome back to the podcast! After 2 years, I am pleased to share the newest episode of Until the Race Is Run.  It has been a long time coming, and I am thrilled to be back at it!  In this episode, I reflect back on the times I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin.  I explore my feelings and the reasons why I was so uncomfortable.  Ultimately, I have come to realize that often the times I have felt the most uncomfortable were the times I have seen sides of myself that I do not like. Further, I look at how being uncomfortable has kept me from many different things in life, including possible friendships and opportunities.  More importantly, I look how some of this translates into my current life. I have struggled to learn to navigate those who have significantly different beliefs than I do.  Ultimately, I am learning how to navigate those differences and embrace them. Thank you for being a part of the ride and I hope you enjoy this latest episode!

Exciting update to share regarding the podcast and its return!  Mark your calendars for February 15th, when the first episode of Season 2 drops..."In My Skin".  Until then, take a quick listen to see where I have been and what's coming up!

As  2018 dawns in front of us, let's dive in together and start the year off on a strong note!  Today, I dive into the concept and topic of "approval".  It is a mystical topic that many of us spend our lives chasing, but often times, come up short.  We spend our lives chasing the approval of others, in the end, forgetting to live for ourselves.  Our constant need for validation moves us away from being our true selves. As I reflect on my life, I know this has been a topic I have always struggled with.  Today, I share with you a time that I learned a very difficult lesson about approval.  At the time, it was mind-blowing, I actually got a "C" on an assignment in school!  Looking back, I realize that in reality there were much bigger lessons to be learned.  As we grow older, and our interpersonal relationships change, its not the grades that matter, but rather our own relationships. Need for approval and validation can shift the balance of power in a relationship.  Consequently, a relationship built on mutual l

 Inspiration is all around us.  Often, we can find inspiration in the simplest of things.   A warm sunset, a baby's laugh, even the opening of a flower can inspire us.  Really, we can find inspiration in just about anything, depending upon how deep we are willing to look.  However, how many of us really stop to realize that maybe the greatest inspiration in life are those around us?  Do we move through life taking those around us for granted?  Never recognizing how they can inspire us to achieve. As I reflect back on the last two years in my life, I realize I have been to many great places.  I have achieved goals and dreams that I never thought possible.  I have seen personal growth and development in ways that I never would have envisioned.  However, as I look back, I realize that none of this is happening in a vacuum.  Sure, it has been my vision, my goals, my dreams that I have worked on.  My will power and my determinations have pushed me to these new places.  Additionally, I realize there was another str

Transformation-that mystical process in life where we move from one state to the other.  Over and over, I talk about change as part of life, a necessary part of our existence.  Change can be good, or bad, but it always happens.  Today I share with you the time I made a leap and set my life on a new path.  Two years ago, frustrated with being fat and tired, I got up, walked into a gym. Glad to say, I haven't stopped moving since.  I still can't believe how long it took me to become active! I share with you my thoughts and fears as I started this process.  Reflecting, I realize that so many other times in my life fear and uncertainty have bled into my life choices and made me pull away from what I really wanted.  Time and again, I let the voice inside slow me down or take me away from what I truly wanted.  Consequently, I have learned to realize that the only barrier in achieving any goal I have wanted has truly been my own voice.  So often, the limits we have are the limits we set for ourselves.  Limiting ours

Have you ever stopped and asked yourself how many questions you ask in the course of the day?  How many times within a day do you inquire about various ideas?  Us humans are curious creatures.  We want to know it all, and we want to know it all NOW.  Information is gathered, processed and eventually acted upon, often without any awareness we are actually doing it!  Blindly, we travel through the day, asking about what we need to know.  Consequently, it becomes a routine, a habit, a mindless activity.  How many of us ever stop and ask if we are truly asking the RIGHT kind of questions? Today, I share with you my own process of data collection.  I openly share some of the times I have had to question the world around me, and how I got to the decisions that I did.  For me, I have always found it challenging to ask the "hard questions".  Those kinds of questions that make you uncomfortable, that make you think, that make you really move forward.  Sure, anybody can ask "Should I do this?", but isn't the real quest

If there is one thing in life none of us likes to do, it would be to fail.  In a perfect world, failing would never be an option, and we would all be perfect, at every given moment.  However, this is not a perfect world, and failing is a part of life.  Despite our best effort and our best intention, we do not always succeed.  Dreams do not come true, and we don't always get the happy ending.  However, really...is it our failures that define us, or is it how we handle those failures that define us? Today, I share with you where I have been this week.  I share with you a "failure" in my life.  Being "less than perfect"  is resulting in my dream being pushed away.  Although disappointed, I was instead able to see the situation for what it truly was, a chance to grown and mature.  When I take a step back, while setting my ego aside, and see the larger picture, I realize just how far I have come.   Coming to life for this dream, right now,  is not an option, but even still, I am so much closer to it than I ever im

Many times in life, we find ourselves trying to please others.  We dedicate our time and energy to trying to be what we think somebody else expects of us.  We silence our own dreams and desires, losing sight of the things that make us most happy in life.  This pattern often starts early in life, and by the time we finally arrive to adulthood, it is a well established pattern.    By sacrificing our own voice, we think we please others.  But,in the end, do we really please them? In denying our own desires, we slowly lose our drive and passion, and in the end...are we less effective?  Today, I share with you my own experiences in being somebody other than myself.  I recall a time in life that I let others guide me, and ultimately, lost sight of my own dreams. I lost myself, instead dedicating my life to what I thought others needed of me.  Living a hollow life became too much, and ultimately, I had to be true to myself.  Having found my passion, I realize how much more effective I am in all areas of my life.  Wo

How many of us go through the motions of our everyday life like zombies?  Each day, we feed our wallet, our family, our ego, but forget about our soul.  We become so involved in being successful,  consequently, we forget how to be human.  We lose sight, we lose perspective and leave ourselves soulfully bankrupt.  Do we ever really feel fulfilled by the life we lead, and finally,  what happens when we don't? Recently, somebody I know lived through a terrible tragedy.  In a single moment the life of his entire family was shattered forever.  As I contemplated what this meant for his family, I could not help but reflect upon my own life.  One phrase stuck with me from those days, being soulfully bankrupt.  The cold reality that life is transient.  A fleeting gift we often take for granted. Totally unscripted and unrehearsed, I share with you my journey of realization as I have come to finally realize that I need to feed my soul.  I share with you a personal, almost spiritual experience I had as I got behind my ca

Dreams! We spend a great deal of our childhood living in dreams.  Make believe is our favorite local hangout.  We conjure up imaginary friends and visions of the perfect life we are sure we will live.  As we journey from childhood into adulthood, slowly, we tend to leave our dreams behind and join the "real world".  We give up on taking chances and start to live within what is in front of us.   Our dreams fade away as our life takes shape. Frequently, we are told to follow our dreams.  We should never let the world limit us.  Then, something funny happens.  Our dreams become too grandiose.  Suddenly, our dreams are off limits.  Now, those dreams fall the to the wayside, and eventually, we embrace our reality.   Over time, our life changes and we settle in to the "grown up" life.  We begin to trade dreams for the reality in front of us.  We cease to take chances and start to live in reality.  Our dreams become those things we wish we had done. Over time, the distance between what we want and where we are gets

Deconstruction-the act of breaking down a larger meaning by looking at the constructs upon which that meaning is based.  Commonly, this term applies to literature, but it can be used in a variety of ways.  Today, I share the story of my own personal deconstruction.  It was a dark time in my life, right before my 23rd birthday, when I was lost and very much alone in life.  The life I had started to build for myself had fallen apart, and I was at a crossroads in life.  The choices I made during these very difficult days change my life forever. So many of us come to these types of crossroads during our journey along life's path.  We find ourselves lost, almost certain that nobody else could possibly understand us or what we need at that time.  Some of us stay the course and follow the path of least resistance, and yet others forge a new path.  We venture into parts unknown and push ourselves to become something different.  We dare to grow and to achieve, Today, I share with you the time in my life where I became

For the majority of us, life is never dull.  We usually keep ourselves chock full of activities and obligations.  We fill our days with responsibilities, be it family, work, or hobby related.  As a whole, our society tends to be very much on the go.  Due to the amount of "busy" in our lives, we slowly start to let go of our sanity.  We take more and more on, until finally, we start to break. Together, we explore the stress we cause ourselves.  We look into why we allow ourselves to get to the point of breaking, all for the sake of pleasing others.  We look at what happens when we take too much on, and wear ourselves thin.  At first, the changes are just things that we notice, until we start to fail at everything we initially set out to do.  As time goes on, we are burdened by the very things we once enjoyed,   Resentment sets in.  Unhealthy habits come about to help us cope. Consequently, we  fall into a very vicious cycle. Do we ever take stock of what we are doing in life?  In the end, do we ever really see

The Comfort Zone.  That warm, safe, well insulated place that we retreat to out of habit, day after day.  It is that place where we feel secure, we feel comfortable, where we are the master of our domain.  However, in the end, this only succeeds in keeping us safe.  It hampers our ability to grow, it holds us steady.  Without discomfort, we become content.  Even worse, without discomfort, we become complacent. Today, I dive into some of the things I have learned in the last few years about my own personal growth.  Together, I share where I have been and what finally brought me out of my comfort zone.  I share how I learned to embrace my discomfort, and ultimately, how that discomfort became a tool to bring myself forward. Initially,  my journey started with fitness and eating better, which has blossomed into new directions for my career.  As I have learned to embrace discomfort and venture beyond the limits I have set for myself, I have learned many valuable lessons that have crossed far beyond health and fit

The past.  A collection of moments that have long since happened, an intricate network of decisions and outcomes woven together to form what becomes our lives as we know it.  At any given point, we face a crossroads.  A path to chose, and a path to ignore.  What our life becomes hinges on these decisions.  Every moment in life is brought to us by the decisions we have made before.  Sometimes its within a few hours, sometimes a few weeks, and other times, its a decision we made years ago.  Once that moment passes, we can't undo the action we have taken, and the path we have chosen becomes our reality. How many of us will turn our heads backward, and look back at and question those decisions we have made?  What could our lives have been if we had turned left instead of right, made a different career choice or relocated? The possibilities are endless!  At the end of the day though, does it really serve any useful purpose?  Does looking back help us move forward?  I dive in today and talk about all of the places

The future:  the promise of days to come, the promise of new beginnings and new dreams.  The future is both our greatest gift, and our worst enemy.  As kids and young adults, we see the future as our key to an perfectly unbelievable and unimaginable life.  We imagine the perfect house, the perfect career, the perfect family and impeccable finances.  We dream the perfect life and dedicate ourselves to achieving it.  Then, life happens!  The unexpected happens, and consequently, what we had once seemed as our destiny is redefined.  Our world view changes, along with our future. Our dreams and our ambitions become our purpose.  They are the driving force that move us forward in life.  Our dreams encourage us to become the best version of ourselves.  They help us to grow and to prosper.  Then, they become our enemy.  We set our expectations so high, that we can't help but feel like failures.  We dream the impossible dream, and constantly feel defeated when we can't achieve all that we dream of.  Our dreams become

Potential:  that mystical and magical word that seems to hold the promise of what life can be.  It dangles in front of us, teasing and taunting us.  Unfulfilled dreams waiting to be discovered, waiting to be lived.  Potential gives us hope, gives us a future we have always wanted.  What if, however, it actually becomes a prison?  What if the very thing meant to inspire us, actually keeps us from every really living? Today, I dive into the concept of potential, and all of its implications as we navigate our lives.  We explore how it can actually work to keep you where you have been, and how it can provide a safe sanctuary from the need to grow and improve yourself.  I discuss many of the ways potential can create a false sense of security and over time, actually move us from being the "person with potential" to the "has been that never was". Together, we explore how to finally move away from potential, and move toward action.  Instead of being "a latent excellence that may or may not develop", we become the ac

Several weeks ago, while wasting time on Facebook, I came across a video from Mel Robbins, who boldly declared that "Motivation is Garbage".  I admit, I found this statement to be stunning.  The boldness of the statement took me by surprise.  I watched the video, while being skeptical from the beginning.    I eagerly listened to every word offered during the 5 minute clip. Slowly, as a result, I realized that my own perception of motivation was starting to change. As I absorbed the thoughts, one word caught my attention:  decisions.  Time and again, Ms. Robbins referred to the decisions that we make in life.  She spoke of the notion that our lives were a series of decisions, consequently, making us the result of the those decisions.  Upon reflecting, I began to realize that I too had fallen into this trap.  I had slowly allowed these notions to strip away my ability to make decisions in my life.  I am realizing that in the past,  motivation has replaced my self determination. Now, I share with you my reflecti

Shame: a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.   A simple eleven word definition of one of the most powerful emotions out there.  We all know what shame feels like.  We all know that sinking feeling in our gut when we have fallen short of the bar we have set for ourselves.  Not a single person is immune to the feeling of shame, or the subsequent sadness and stress that accompanies it.  When you are unhappy with yourself, or with your spot in life, the shame can be overwhelming.  Shame can lead to self loathing, disgust, and anger.  It can turn you into your own worst enemy.  This feeling can overshadow every other element of life. When we recognize the need for change, the need to better ourselves, it is often born out of a sense of discomfort.  We are seeing elements in ourselves that we do not like, and are no longer happy about.  We recognize that we want a better life, and set out to make that happen.  Shame stands in the way.  We become so miserable and unhappy wi

Short, sweet and to the point today!  Let's get out and live life!  As many of you know, while on a vacation in Las Vegas last month, there was an incident that occurred.  During our first night there, we came upon a lady who had become unresponsive.  Despite resuscitation attempts, it became apparent that her time on earth was over.  It was a very difficult and sad event to be a part of.  Yet, at the same time, it was also very liberating and eye opening, almost inspirational.  I was reminded of the fragility of human life, the uncertainty of tomorrow. Since returning from Vegas, I seem to be more aware of the passage of time.  I am reflecting on many different time periods in my life and realizing all of the places I have been.  Each day, I learn a little bit more about my life and the ways I have coped with adversity in the past.  I realize how I have hurt myself by these actions.  Since this incident, I have committed myself to appreciating and recognizing each and every day.  Today, I share with you my t