Locker Room

In this episode, Scott sits down with Nathan Head and Jason Eaton to discuss how their marriages and families have grown through choosing to adopt. 1. How did you and your spouse meet? How long have you been married? Do you have kids? If so how many? 2. For those with kids: Did you always want kids? For those without kids: How many kids do you want? What are your thoughts, fears, excitements about having kids? 3. How does hearing Nate and Jason talk about their adoption processes shed light on the power of what the Bible says about God adopting us into His family? 4. Scott mentioned the C.S. Lewis quote, “All love involves risk.” How has this been true in your marriage? In your parenting? 5. Going through the adoption process requires radical dependence upon God for everything. What are you currently needing to radically depend on God for? 6. Nate mentioned “the adversity you face will make you stronger because it becomes a bond of intimacy that otherwise would not be created.” How has this been true for you

On this episode Austin Ketron joins Scott to talk about what it looks like to build a marriage out of the rubble of addiction and recovery. Austin and Monique have been married for 8 years and have four children, and now focus on building into their family and helping others. 1. Austin was very transparent and vulnerable about his past and struggles. Do you feel like you have a safe place to be known? Or do you feel like you have to pretend and manage your image? Have you ever worried about being found out as a fraud? 2. How have you struggled with addiction? Whether it be alcohol, substance, sex, pornography, greed, etc. Where do you stand in recovery? And what did that process look like? 3. God often works in ways we never imagined. Share some of those with the group. 4. At some moments, it can be hard to see God’s hand and provision. But years later it can be very obvious. Where have you seen God’s faithfulness in your past to bring about healing and wholeness? 5. How do you wrestle with the tension of be

James joins Scott for this episode to share his story. James and his wife Lauren had just married, returned from a honeymoon and were settling into life together when everything changed in the blink of an eye.   1. Where was your first date and how did it go? How long was it before you knew you were going to marry your spouse? 2. Did you ask your father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter? If so, how did that conversation go? 3. What is the scariest moment you have ever had with your spouse? Have you ever been in a situation where you thought either of your lives were in danger? 4. James mentioned the power of Jeff’s presence when he stayed overnight with him after Lauren passed away. Share a time you were blessed by a friend in a tough season. 5. Were you the kid in the family who resonated with the “prodigal son” or were you the older brother? 6. James mentioned how grief is like waves on the ocean: the ups and the downs, but that, over time, you remember less of the bad and more of the good. What

Gary and his wife Linda have been married for 47 years. On this episode, Gary shares memorable moments and wisdom he has learned over many years from both his own marriage and counseling married couples. 1. Tell your group the story of your first date. 2. Marriage is a journey not a destination. Share some of your journey—the highs and the lows—with everyone. What image would you use to explain where you are at on your journey? 3. How do you resonate with the thought of marriage being a “box” to check off? 4. “If you don't like what your wife is, consider what you have done to help her become that?” 5. How do you express to your wife that you cherish and value her? What is your favorite thing about your spouse? 6. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your understanding of your spouse? How well do you think they would say they understand you? 7. Who, if anyone, ever shared biblical wisdom about what it means to be a godly husband with you? 8. “Listens a lot, corrects little, cares deeply.” Would your spou

In this episode, Scott sits down with Chapman Bean to talk about life in a new marriage. 1. Why is non-sexual intimacy something many men are not good at in marriage? How do you struggle with intimacy and vulnerability in your marriage (and other relationships)? 2. Sex is one of the most complicated aspects of marriage, and it oftens goes unaddressed, with no time, thought, or conversation given to it. Why is it embarrassing for men to be honest about their sex lives? 3. What is the personality-makeup of your marriage in terms of extroversion and introversion? How has Jesus redeemed the pros and cons of these in your relationship? 4. How has Jesus sustained your love and commitment for your spouse? 5. How do you and your spouse navigate what and who is a priority in your lives? 6. What are unhealthy characteristics you see in some marriages? What about healthy characteristics? How do you see yourself growing in the healthy areas? 7. What is the most obvious way Jesus is growing you as a husband in this season

There's a path God provides for men to take on responsibility and humbly steward it; a path that has a home - a place where you belong, and people you belong with. And it is good. 1) If you’re married, how old were you when you got married? What led you to marry at that age? If single, what has led you to be single to this point? 2) Scott mentioned that nothing in your life will help you become more like Jesus and learn self sacrifice than marriage and having children. How does marriage and parenting show us God’s design for His creation? How does this show us what God values most? 3) In the Bible children are viewed as having immense value and being a huge blessing. How does this differ from what culture tells us about having kids? In what ways does this challenge you? 4) There is a path to manhood that consists of self-sacrifice. Why do you think God designed it this way? Why do you think so many men today resist or delay the journey down that path? 5) What areas of our culture and communities do you see be

The family, the church, and government--three institutions of authority living in tension with one another. In this episode Scott explores the context of Romans 13 and how we can remain faithful to Jesus with a clear biblical worldview on authority. 1) Would people label you as too political or not political enough? Why would they think that? 2) Who do you receive more attacks from: The "left" or the "right"? How come? 3) Read Romans 13:1-7. Check out multiple versions if possible. What observations stick out? 4) How have you wrestled in the past with the tension between government and God? What are some decisions you have had to make where you were obedient to God when the government overstepped? 5) What does the phrase “Jesus is King,” mean to you in this season? How has this affected the decisions you have been making? 6) What are some ways that you need to grow your Biblical Worldview? What avenues and resources help you the most in growing in your knowledge of Jesus and the Bible?

"...Until we see ourselves and each other as God sees us, and respond with an intentional embrace of his oneness, we will forever ring flat in a world that longs to hear the liberating cadence of truth." In today's episode Scott reads from and reflects ond Oneness Embraced by Tony Evans. Tony is the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, TX. 1. What comes to mind when you hear the word “Oneness?” What do you envision when you think about racial oneness? How have you seen the discussion and the reality of racial oneness embraced in your local community change over time? 2. Tony Evans says racism still exists because the church, which is the most qualified to talk about racial reconciliation, has not addressed its root. How has the root of racism been addressed at churches you’ve been part of throughout your life? 3. “Cognitive Dissonance” is defined as holding contradicting views simultaneously. What contradicting views do you hold or struggle with currently? 4. “Authentic oneness comes from th

"Our greatest challenge as men is to carry our assigned weight. Carrying our weight means doing the things only we can do--the things for which we are responsible..." In this episode Scott reads from The Heroic Path: In Search Of The Masculine Heart by John Sowers. 1. Why do you like or dislike to read? What ways to you prefer to be informed or inspired? What is the best book you’ve ever read? 2. Who played the most significant role in your life, shaping what you believe manhood to be? 3. “Men stand tallest when they stand for others.” Who are you standing for? Who is standing for you? 4. What “weight” are you carrying that is the heaviest in this season? 5. What tempts you most to stall out? 6. What or who encourages you the most? 7. How have you grown the most in your journey into manhood?

We pick up from our last episode, continuing conversation on leading teams with Scott Hatfield and Mike Vandemark. 1. “Calling” isn't power, it is submission. How do you use your calling to elevate others? 2. A lack of trust will crumble any team. How well do you trust others? How well do others trust you? 3. Do you listen to those you lead more than you talk or coach them? 4. The best example of courageous leadership is saying you’re sorry and that you were wrong. How willing are you to apologize? 5. Security as a leader is key in being able to take push-back or critique. Where are you the most secure and insecure as a leader?

In this episode Scott circles up with Mike Vandemark and Scott Hatfield - two Southland staff guys with years of experience leading teams. 1. The guys talked about how they have grown and struggled in the process of becoming better leaders. What areas of leadership have been a struggle for you in the past? How have you grown the most over the past two years? 2. “My way isn't always the best way.” In what areas, topics, or ways do you struggle to admit this? 3. There is a huge difference between having a conversation with someone and telling them all the ways they are wrong and you are right. What strategies do you use to ensure the give and take of mutual conversation? 4. Empathy is key in leadership. How do you fare in empathizing with people who are different from you? 5. Do you always have to win an argument? What hills are you willing to die on?

Scott sits down with former Kentucky basketball player Ravi Moss to talk life, faith journey and memories from his time in UK hoops. 1. What was your favorite UK basketball team of all time? Who is your favorite UK basketball player of all time?  2. Ravi mentioned that ending up at Kentucky was a part of God’s journey for him. What have been some aspects of your path that you can look back on and see God’s hand at work? 3. Scott and Ravi sat down and had a heart-to-heart talk. Who do you need to sit down and have a conversation with? What do you need to talk about?  4. Ravi mentioned “getting it right” is what is important, not to “be right”. How do you struggle with this in life, work, marriage, friendships, parenting? 5. “Attitude reflects leadership.” How does your attitude reflect the leadership above you? How does your family's attitude reflect your leadership?   6. Where are you at right now with your faith journey?  7. How is Jesus using you to bring about reconciliation in race relations in this seaso

How to be a reasonable man living in unreasonable times. 1. Scott said, hands down, the best movie of all time is “The Godfather”. What is your favorite movie of all time and why? 2. How are you bothered, if at all, by those who think and speak things that you perceive as unreasonable? 3. What are some popular beliefs held by many today that fall in the “unreasonable” category? 4. Read Philippians 4:5. Depending on the translation you’re reading, Paul says to be reasonable, gentle, or considerate to everyone. Who are the people or groups of people that you struggle to respond to in this way? 5. You cannot make people be reasonable, but you can be reasonable. How does this play out in a practical way? 6. What challenges you or can be a stumbling block in the way of being reasonable? What aids you in being characterized as reasonable? 7. Are you known as a reasonable man in these “unreasonable” times?

Courtney Love sits down with Scott for this episode of the podcast. Courtney serves as Director of Player Development for University of Kentucky Football and played 2 seasons with the Wildcats (2016-2017) after transferring from Nebraska. Discussion Questions: 1) Courtney is the Director of Player Development for UK Football. He was a 2yr starter and team captain, won the award for college football's top community servant, and helped set the tone and culture for UK's football program's success. He's no stranger to the locker room! What do you remember most about his playing career?   2) When sharing his favorite football memory he didn't talk about the fumble recovery on Lamar Jackson or victory over Louisville, instead, he talked about the practice the week before. Why did he pick that? What does that say about his character?   3) Though he was very successful athletically, Courtney always knew that his identity was not in sports. What did he share about his childhood that helped him know that? How did his c

How do we define a real man? In this episode we discuss God's definition of manhood in an age of fatherlessness. Scott reads and shares thoughts from Father Fiction by Donald Miller.   1) Donald Miller's book "Father Fiction" talks about the impact growing up fatherless had on him. What was your relationship with your father like? 2) Where do our struggles as a son or as a father come from? Where is this tension around manhood rooted? 3) How would our culture finish this sentence: "You are not a man unless _____"? 4) How would you define a real man? 5) Read Matthew 7:9–11 and 1 John 3:1. Learning how to navigate the journey of manhood is challenging. Some say it is passed down from one father to the next, but what does it mean that our identity comes from our Heavenly Father first and foremost? 6) God has spoken, so I have what it takes to become a good man; It doesn't depend on whether I had a good dad or a bad dad—or no dad at all. How does that thinking free you up? How does it motivate you? 7) Jesus is th

If we believe Jesus really is king of everything, that means ALL THINGS. In this episode Scott shares thoughts on how we can keep Christ over all things in our lives. Discussion Questions: 1. Read Colossians 1:15-20. Jesus is king of everything: All things, visible and invisible, on Earth and in Heaven, everything. Do you believe that? And more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life? 2. Is the preeminent story of my life Jesus' preeminence? 3. Read 2 Timothy 3:14-17. The Bible is sufficient for all things. Do you believe that and more importantly, how are you demonstrating it with your life? 4. What does it mean that the Bible is... Profitable? Useful for correcting? For training in righteousness? 5. Are you prone to look to other resources before—or more often than—the Bible? What are some examples of other resources we are tempted to look toward? 6) Read 1 Timothy 4:16. This begins with me. The person we need to think about first is ourself. How are you doing with syncing up your life and

In this episode Scott unpacks what the book of Proverbs has to say about the value of discipline in our lives, and we talk about practical steps we can take to move forward. Discussion Questions: Laziness plagues a lot of men, and when they become lazy or bored women and children often take the brunt of it. What areas of laziness do you struggle with? When are you most susceptible to check out and become lazy?  How do you ask your spouse, children, or loved ones to speak truth to and point out blind spots in your life? Do you welcome or push away accountability?  Work is a Godly thing. How has your work life or perspective changed during the COVID-19 pandemic? Laziness in one area of your life can easily spread into other areas. Ask yourself honestly: Where do you need to step it up and be disciplined? Marriage, fitness, work, family, friends, faith?  Proverbs pushes young men to become and stay self-governing––to not be reliant on the government, bosses, or others to motivate them and to spur them into acti

Scott Hatfield is back on the podcast as we discuss how we as men can rise up to the responsibilities of spiritual leadership in our homes. Discussion Questions: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the term “spiritual leader?” Who was the spiritual leader of your home growing up? What did you see exhibited well? What did you see done poorly?  How do you feel pressure to lead your family well spiritually? What areas do you struggle with? What areas has your spouse or friends pointed out as blind sides in your life?  Hatfield pointed out well that women were created from the side of man, not under or over him. Lived out well, men and women are different but equal. Where do you and your spouse work well together? What is an area of tension because of difference? How does the Spirit work through you to bring about unity in your marriage?  Have you ever had a thought where you will “suck it up,” for your family and their well being?  How do you serve your wife? What does she need most fr

Derwin Gray joins us to talk about his book The Good Life and share a few NFL stories! 1. Derwin was born to parents 17 and 19 years young. Each had their own issues and, because of that, he was raised by his grandparents. What was your family dynamic growing up? Who raised you? How did that play into the man you are today? 2. Several years into the NFL Derwin realized, “You've accomplished all your dreams but yet you are not happy.” How does this thought and quote resonate with you? How have you ever found yourself thinking the same thing? 3. Like many of us, Derwin lived with incredible fear of losing his job, purpose, and identity. He thought, “Who would I be once they told me I couldn’t play anymore?” What are you fearful of losing? What do you find security in other than Jesus’ provision? 4. Derwin grew up a compulsive stutterer. What are some things you believe to be true about yourself that will keep you from telling people about Jesus and following His call in your life? 5. Derwin's wife came to faith

Scott is joined by Eric Schneider on the podcast to discuss Derwin Gray's 'Guard Your Heart' session from our Men's Conference. To watch videos of the sessions, go to http://southland.church/guarded 1. Eric mentioned that we as the church need to be the church that God is calling us to be. What kind of church do you feel God calling us to be? What role do you play in that? 2. Read Proverbs 4:23. What sticks out to you? What is the wellspring of life? What is the relationship between our heart and the wellspring? 3. “You will not experience healing until you come out of hiding.” Does this trouble you or give you peace? What areas of your life do you need to expose? 4. Eric asked a great question, “Who do we have that we can be recklessly honest with?” Answer this question for yourself. 5. “Isolation plus boredom always leads to destruction.” How has this tendency plagued your life? 6. No one has talked worse to you than you. What are the common comments you tell yourself? What lies about yourself have you alwa