Live From Love

Having a better emotional vocabulary helps you identify what you are actually feeling.  The feeling of “powerful” is going to drive a lot different action than feeling “good.”  So when someone asks you how you are doing today…. how do you want to answer?   “Fine?” “Good?” “Hanging in there?” or do you want to be “Awesome?” “Amazing?” “Confident?” “Productive?” How you answer could be the key to feeling exactly how you want to feel.

Who do you want to be in 2019?  “Over the years, I have observed that those who accomplish the most in this world are those with a vision for their lives, with goals to keep them focused on their vision and tactical plans for how to achieve them. Knowing where you are going and how you expect to get there can bring meaning, purpose, and accomplishment to life.” M. Russell Ballard 

Resentment is defined as bitter indication after THINKING you’ve been treated unfairly.  This is a huge issue I see in many of my clients.  In today’s episode we discuss 4 ways you can deal with resentment in your marriage and how changing your thinking is the key!     Play In A New Window Download   Show Summary: This podcast was actually at the request of one of my listeners.  Resentment is a huge issue I see in my clients, so I thought I would do a whole episode on it. Definition of resentment: Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly I would add to that definition that its bitter indication after THINKING you’ve been treated unfairly. So today I want to talk about 4 ways you can deal with resentment in your marriage.  I believe these solutions can also be applied to other relationships as well. 1. Addressing Your Feelings Sometimes people think they are falling out of love with their spouse when they are actually feeling resentment.  The resentment can make you angr

So many women think they don’t want to have sex because they are tired or “touched out” at the end of the day.  What was once a vital and important part of the marriage has taken a back seat to life and child rearing.  In this episode, we examine how the thoughts you are telling yourself are killing your sex drive…and how you can get it back! Play In A New Window Download     Show Notes: 3in30 Podcast with Dr. Finlayson-Fife Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Instagram: @3in30podcast @finlaysonfife Show Summary This episode I am piggybacking off of a post I did last week in my Instastories.  Last week, my friend Rachel at the 3in30podcast did a great interview with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife who is an LDS sex therapist.   It was titled “What happened to my sex drive and how can I get it back” I highly recommend you go listen to it.  In preparation to the interview, Rachel asked a question on her Insta-stories about why women didn’t have a sex drive and she posted a lot of the answers and it se

Most people think that happiness is the goal.  It’s what they want for themselves.  It’s what they want for the children.  It’s what they want for relationships.  In this episode, you’ll learn why that goal is actually not making you happy at all.

In this episode we talk about how to get everything you want for Christmas.  It’s probably NOT what you think….     Play In A New Window Download

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am sharing with you how important the emotion of gratitude is in your life and mine. Play In A New Window Download

In the final installment of my series on improving communication in our marriage, I have Tony Overbay, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and host of the wildly popular podcast, The Virtual Couch. I asked Tony to share with us how Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a modality he uses in couples counseling, can help us improve the communication with our partner.  He gives us some practical tips of what we can do together, what we can do on our own, and when its time to seek additional help.       Play In A New Window Download     Show Notes: You can find more information from Tony here: TonyOverbay.com Instagram: @thevirtualcouch Facebook: @tonyoverbaylmft Podcast: The Virtual Couch

All couples have disagreements, but the ones who learn to solve their problems by fighting differently and fair are the ones who tend to stick together.  In this episode I share 5 steps to fighting fair with your spouse.

Continuing our topic from last week on communication, Celeste Davis, from MarriageLaboratory.com, joins me in discussing different experiments she and her husband have conducted in their marriage to improve communication.  She also discusses a practice they call their Marriage Inventory, a weekly check-in that helps them communicate better and increase the connectivity in their relationship. Show Notes: The Work of Byron Katie You can find Celeste Davis here: MarriageLaboratory Facebook Instagram Podcast

One of the keys to communication in marriage, is communicating well during a conflict.  Conflict is inevitable in any marriage.  Learning how to resolve those conflicts is key to sustaining that marriage.  The most popular approach to resolving conflicts, advocated by many marriage therapists is empathetic listening.  On today’s podcast we will discuss 14 ways to to learn how to listen to your partner empathetically.  This is not a skill that comes easy.  It takes sincere effort and practice.  But it is definitely possible and if you apply the skill, it can go a long way in helping the communication skills in your marriage. Play In A New Window Download

“By Small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” The little things we do to build and strengthen our marriage add up.  They compound.  What small choices are you making daily that contribute the demise or the strengthening of your marriage? Play In A New Window Download     Show Notes Get the Tips!

When something negative happens, our brains automatically make up a story to protect us.  What are the stories that you tell yourself to protect yourself from feeling negative emotions?  What stories disengage you from your spouse or make them into a villain?  While this is a great way to protect ourselves, it takes us further away from creating the emotional intimacy and connection that we all crave in our relationships.  So what stories are you telling yourself?

Have you ever thought “Did I marry the wrong person?” or  “Are we really meant to be?”  Just about every married person I know has had those thoughts.  But in this episode, we talk about why those thoughts aren’t serving you and your marriage.  

The word SHOULD indicates an expectation, an obligation, a duty, and is typically used when criticizing someone.  And usually when we “should” on others we have an expectation that they be LIKE US.  And not only do we think they should be, think, or do like us, we expect them to be the perfect version of us. We have a personal set of rules of how people should conduct their lives.  And when they don’t, it totally sets us up for anger, negativity, and disappointment.  Talk about a set up for failure! Right?  But when we drop the “shoulds” or the expectations we have of people, and just LOVE them we are able to create much better results in our lives, better relationships, and better marriages. Play In A New Window Download       Show Notes Spiritually Minded Mom - Episode 25: Mothering a Child with Mental Illness

In several scriptures in the New Testament it says that the Savior was “Moved with Compassion” and then a miracle followed.  When we have compassion for ourselves and compassion for our spouse and others, what kind of miracles will we see in our own life and around us? Play In A New Window Download Show Notes In several scriptures in the New Testament it says that the Savior was “Moved with Compassion”  The dictionary says: Moved means: to prompt or rouse to the doing of something AND Compassion means: a sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it So When it says the Savior was “Moved with Compassion” because he was a Sympathetic person He was Prompted or Roused with to do something to alleviate the distress of someone. And then if you keep reading in the scriptures when He’s moved to compassion some sort of miracle followed… So compassion for someone brought about a miracle… I talk to my clients a lot about acting from emotions that produce t

Do you often feel overwhelmed with life and everything you have going on? In this episode we discuss what is really the cause of you feeling overwhelmed and how you can overcome it so that you can be more confident, organized in your daily life, productive, and feel better. Play In A New Window Download    Show Notes I hear a lot of women today talk about how overwhelmed they are with their life.  And believe me, I’ve been there too.  We are overwhelmed by our homes, our jobs, our kids activities, our church callings.  Everything is just so overwhelming. So if we think about the The Model that I taught in Episode 17  The FEELING of overwhelm would go in the F line.  And as we know, our feelings are caused by our thoughts.  Now, lets think about what kind of THOUGHTS bring on the FEELINGS of overwhelm. Thoughts like “I don’t have enough time” “There is too much to do” “I can’t get it all done” “I’m not capable of all this” are usually some of the thoughts that bring up the feeling of OVER

Part of being an emotional adult is taking responsibility for our own emotions.  Even in our marriage.  It is not our partners responsibility for making us feel loved, secure, and happy.  We have to do that for ourselves.  Listen in to find out how… Play In A New Window Download       Show Notes So today we are going to talk about how to quit blaming others for how you feel.  So in the world of life coaching we call this emotional childhood vs. emotional adulthood.   As children, most of us were taught that we can make others feel a certain way.  We’ve probably inadvertently taught that to our children as well “Don’t do that or Mommy will be sad”   “We need to share so that Sally’s feelings won’t be hurt” “You need to invite Johnny to your party so that he doesn’t feel left out” So all of these little things taught us (and we in turn teach our children) that we  have control over how someone else feels by what we say or how we act. So if we have power over someone else’s emot

  What is friendship? A relationship we have with anyone is ONLY about what we think about that person.  The relationship only exists in our minds.  We can create friendship and connection with people just by what we choose to think about them.   In this episode I give 10 tips on how to be a good friend.  Because we all know the best way to have good friends, is to be a good friend.  

What do you value? What is the culture of your family? By clearly defining your values and setting goals based on those values, you will be able to align your life and achieve the things you want most.  This episode clearly outlines the way I set goals for myself and my family to reach our dreams.  You can too! Play In A New Window Download             Show Summary I grew up in a goal oriented family.  When I was young, my mom worked part time for Franklin Day Planners.  My parents were also big fans of Stephen Covey.  Franklin merged with Covey, and then it was Franklin Covey that my mom worked for.  I think i got my first Franklin Day Planner when I was about 10.   My parents taught me about how the Franklin Covey day planner worked.  You first determined what your values were, then you set long term goals based around those values.  You broke the long term goals down in to short term goals, and the short term goals got broken down into daily tasks.  Each built upon each other to help you re