Your Kick Ass Life Podcast

This week’s episode is based on a listener's request about how to recover from the betrayal of infidelity. Michelle Mays joins me to discuss cheating, the betrayal bind, and solutions for healing. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the author of the new book The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Has Hurt You the Worst, and she is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery in Northern Virginia outside of DC.  In this episode, you’ll hear about: Cheating and what makes sexual betrayal so devastating and problematic? (3:37) The betrayal bind is what happens when we experience betrayal at the hands of our most significant other. (8:08) Every betrayed partner goes through three specific injuries. (16:08) The role of gaslighting when a partner is cheating (19:54) Michelle answers, “Can you actually heal from betrayal and cheating?” (28:08) “Your relationship may not be salvageable, but you can absolutely hea

This week, a former client turned podcast guest, Rebecca, bravely opens up about her journey through infertility. Rebecca shares the highs, lows, and everything in between, providing a genuine and vulnerable perspective on her challenges. This episode goes beyond the struggles of infertility, delving into the experience of coming out on the other side without the expected prize. Rebecca sheds light on the often-overlooked aspect of finding joy in a childless existence, walking through grief, and looking for support.  Whether you've personally faced infertility, know someone who has, or are just curious about the realities of the journey, this conversation provides a compassionate glimpse into a story that resonates with many. Rebecca's openness and courage in sharing her narrative offer solace and understanding to listeners who may find comfort and connection in her words. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Rebecca opens up and shares her fertility story (4:28) Reconciling the grief that comes with inferti

A few weeks ago, a long-time client of mine was wrapping up one of her sessions. I typically ask my clients at the end of a session, just like I ask my podcast guests “Anything you need to say or ask before we wrap up to make sure you feel complete?” It invites them to say anything at all, but when it comes to clients, many times they say outloud the thing that they’ve been afraid to say.  “Got any advice on how to leave a long-term relationship?” She asked me.  “Oh, yes. I do.” I replied.  Listen in to this minisode where I talk about what I told her, which includes advice on listening to your gut instead of your trauma, the “messy middle”, and how you may always have feelings for your former partner.  Resources:  Private coaching with Andrea  Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the spons

We're revisiting a topic that affects many — Impostor Syndrome. Who better to guide us through this complex pattern of self-doubt than renowned expert Dr. Valerie Young? It's been a decade since we last explored Impostor Syndrome on the podcast! Dr. Young, co-founder of the Impostor Syndrome Institute, joins us to shed light on the latest insights and information surrounding Imposter Syndrome. In this conversation, Dr. Young takes a moment to articulate what Impostor Syndrome is and how it subtly infiltrates various aspects of our lives. She leaves us with a powerful mantra: "The only way to stop feeling like an impostor is to stop thinking like an impostor." In this episode, you’ll hear about: Dr. Young takes a few moments to describe imposter syndrome and how it shows up in our lives (4:43) Imposter Syndrome coping and protecting mechanisms such as overwork and overprepare or procrastination (9:06) What research shows about the competence of women in the workplace (15:44) Rethinking risk-taking and cul

Happy holidays! This week, we are talking about relationships on the show. Whether you are single or in a relationship, my guest and I cover many topics applicable to all listeners. I’m thrilled to welcome back a familiar face, the dynamic Kate Anthony. If you've been following the show, you know Kate as a multi-time guest, bringing her wisdom to various discussions about shit that matters with unqualified people, which is a series I do here on the show. But this time around, Kate is donning the hat of a qualified expert ready to tackle topics ranging from the role of porn in relationships to the challenges posed by addiction, mental illness, and emotional abuse. Kate also shares how to tell a partner you want a divorce in a clear, kind, and absolute way.  As the author of the new book "The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage," Kate brings a wealth of knowledge to the conversation. She is also the acclaimed host of "The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast," a New York Times recommended show. B

Are you hoping to start a new habit or even quit drinking in the coming year? This episode explores the transformative power of habits and the sober-curious lifestyle, featuring Casey McGuire Davidson, a Life & Sobriety Coach and the host of The Hello Someday Podcast for Sober Curious Women. Casey, with her background in helping high-achieving women break free from alcohol's hold, shares insights applicable to any habit or behavior change. We discuss resolutions to positively impact health and explore best practices for sustaining motivation when that initial drive fades.  Dry January takes center stage in our conversation, with Casey emphasizing that the act of abstaining from alcohol goes beyond a temporary trend – it's a gateway to understanding the difference one can feel. Listen to hear ideas that can be a catalyst for positive change in various aspects of your life. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Some resolutions that can improve your health (4:39) Best practices that can keep people going after

Before we get into it, I have ONE coaching spot open for the new year! Is it you? You can read more about it HERE.  Have you ever seen or heard the quote, “How you do one thing is how you do everything”? Well, I’m here to tell you that, no, it’s not.  In this minisode, I’m riffing on the notion that when someone is faced with a conflict, that it’s then you find out who they “really are”, their “true colors”, or their “true character”. It’s easy to jump to deciding that someone is terrible based on how someone acts and treats you during conflict. When we see someone acting out of character, we want a reason for it. It’s unusual, and we want to make sense of it.  And maybe you’ve been that person!  When I was going through a terrible divorce in 2006, I was not my best self. At times I was vindictive, mean, and I lashed out. Does that make me a mean, vindictive person? No, it makes me a normally kind human being who’d just been traumatized, didn’t have the coping skills to deal with what she was going through, w

I'm thrilled to have you join us today as we dive into the fascinating world of Family Constellation Therapy. I've got an incredible expert with me, the insightful Liza Miron. With Family Constellations and Ancestral Healing, Liza helps you heal the hidden or limiting issues from your Family System that keep you blocked and repeating negative patterns so you can live your life with love, joy, abundance, health, and success. Liza sheds light on the profound healing potential of Family Constellations, a therapeutic approach that might not involve stars but unveils a galaxy of insights into our lives. Don't miss out on this transformative conversation that might be the key to unlocking your path to healing and happiness. In this episode, you’ll hear about: Family Constellations: Liza explains what family constellations are. They have nothing to do with the stars; they are a healing method. (3:42) How Family System entanglements impact our relationships (7:36) How to heal entanglements and the trauma we uncons

Cait Donovon returns to the podcast this week! Previously, she joined me for a conversation about burnout recovery and boundaries. In this episode we talk a little bit more about burnout, but mostly about what it means to achieve work-life balance.  For those of you new to Cait, she is the host of FRIED. The Burnout Podcast, a Keynote speaker, author of the book "The Bounce-back-ability Factor" and a burnout aficionado.  Cait helps us explore the evolving landscape of work-life balance, unraveling cultural shifts and emphasizing the importance of creating boundaries in a world where the lines between work and personal life have blurred. Whether you've experienced burnout or are seeking clarity on work-life equilibrium, this episode provides a roadmap to navigate burnout culture and reclaim a more harmonious life.  In this episode, you’ll hear about: Burnout culture: what it is and how it shows up. (5:14) Work-life balance: the cultural shift from the natural segmentation we had between life and work an

I don’t watch a lot of reality TV, but I’m hooked on Selling Sunset and Selling the OC on Netflix.  Of course I get drawn into the drama (and the real estate and clothes too!) but I’m very interested in how they handle conflict. Lots of throwing daggers back and forth, jockeying for who has it harder/been through worse heartache, and shaming each other. Rarely, if ever, does someone apologize.  I know these shows are edited, and I think the producers might choose parts of conversations to make people out to be “characters” of themselves without showing the ore normal and even kinder sides of them. But I don’t think their behavior is that far off from reality.  In this minisode I talk about some specific scenes, as well as what it might look like to circle back and clean up a “mess” that was made. If you’re ever in a similar situation– because let’s face it, we all make mistakes and behave poorly sometimes– this minisode will help.  Or, if you want to hear me riff on these reality shows, tune in!  Resources fr

This week I have for you a conversation about shit that matters with unqualified people. Yes, this special series is back! This episode features writer, actor, and podcast host of Spiritual Asshole, Brendan Fitzgibbons. Our conversation covers a range of personal experiences, humorous anecdotes, and reflections on the complexities of self-help and therapy. We also share some of our most awkward and unforgettable dating stories.   If you are new to this series, these episodes are less of an interview with a guest about their expertise and more about personal experiences about a given topic. However, as you’ll hear in this episode, Brendan pushes back on the notion that he is unqualified and makes a strong case debunking the title. As it were, the episode is full of funny, endearing, and insightful back-and-forth about self-help and dating.    In this episode, you’ll hear about: Brendan offers his unique perspective on the unexpected turns in the journey of personal growth. (7:17) Brendan answers the question

Jeannine Yoder is back on the show! Previously, she joined me for a conversation on healing parental wounds. This time, she joins me to explore themes of reinvention, the power of boredom, and self-mothering.  For those new to Jeannine, she is a New York Times Featured Feminine Leadership & Business Coach, Healer, Mom, Broadway Artist, and Founder/CEO of Mentor Masterclass, an all-in-life coach training school for women. In this conversation, Jeannine candidly shares her transformative journey of "burning it all down" and the catalyst to her self-transformation. We also explore the intricacies of marriage, sex, and pleasure and the significance of bodywork.  In this episode, you’ll hear about: Jeannine opens about how and why she “burned it all down” last year. She describes the catalyst and shares about what she is doing now. (3:33) Writing a memoir isn’t just about putting your life in story, it’s about finding the common thread (11:37) Navigating grief and how Jeannine’s relationship has changed with he

Sometimes I record minisodes that I need to hear for my own personal or professional life, and this is definitely one of them!  I know a lot of you who listen to the podcast probably consume a decent amount of personal growth podcasts, books, etc. and that’s a great thing! However, the thing to watch out for is perfectionism and/or high achievement in personal growth because that can be detrimental.  Some questions to ask yourself to see if this might be you:  Are you consuming so much self help that you forget that it’s okay to be human? That life hurts and is hard sometimes?  Do you compare where you are to others, and feel bad that you’re not where you think you’re supposed to be?  Do you forget sometimes that it’s completely normal to feel like shit at times, to go through incredibly challenging seasons and not have ways to get out of it? Please remember that we don’t always have to be in a state of perpetual forward movement. Sometimes we move back, and sometimes we are still. It’s never linear.  In

This week, we are diving into the transformative world of RADICAL JOY with Erica Lasan, a multi-passionate entrepreneur, dedicated wife, and mother. Erica shares her personal JOYrney, unveiling pivotal moments that led her to understand the significance of navigating such a path in life, motherhood, and business.  Erica shares her empowering three-step framework, the JOYrney™ Process, guiding individuals to Rediscover, Reconnect, and Recommit to Purpose and JOY in every facet of their lives. We also explore the distinction between the pursuit of happiness and the cultivation of enduring JOY. Finally, as the holiday season approaches, Erica imparts invaluable tips for managing stress, ensuring a season filled with fleeting happiness and enduring JOY.  In this episode, you’ll hear about: Erica talks about what brought her to an understanding of a JOYrney and the need to have one in life, motherhood, and business. (3:29) Purpose does not need to be defined - “You don’t have to find what hasn’t been lost.” (13:

This week, I am joined by Dr. Raquel Martin, a seasoned clinical psychologist. She helps examine the implications of oppression on mental health and sheds light on the myriad ways it manifests in our lives - for both adults and children.   Dr. Martin is an experienced licensed clinical psychologist, devoted professor, acclaimed researcher, and scientist who believes deeply in the power of Black mental wealth. In this episode, Dr. Martin introduces the intriguing concept of "no capes" and redefines our understanding of societal expectations. She also offers insight on the crucial subject of "culturally incompetent care," providing invaluable insights for professionals in the field.  In this episode, you’ll hear about: The deep-seated links between oppression and mental health (6:52) Navigating the verbal minefield: the role of words in mental health conversations (28:12) The #burnthecape movement: redefining self-care with "no capes." (36:14) Empowering professionals for culturally sensitive support: under

Today’s topic is one that’s near and dear to my heart and probably yours– emotions. As someone who’s had quite a journey in this arena, I’m always looking for ways to better understand them, as well as allow emotions to run their course naturally.  I’m talking more specifically about “off loading” emotions, a subject I learned more about in my Daring Way™ training. It comes specifically from Brené Brown’s book, Rising Strong, and in this episode, I’m breaking down all of the ways we avoid dealing with our emotions.  At the end of the episode, I’ll also go over some ways to process emotions as well.  Happy emoting!  Resources from this episode:  Follow Andrea on TikTok Rising Strong book The Body Keeps the Score When the Body Says No Book recommendations: I love a good personal development book, and you do too, right? I’ve compiled a list of book recommendations, as mentioned in past episodes. Check out these amazing book recommendations here. Happy reading!   MSN is supported by: We love the sponsors that mak

This week we are exploring the distinction between joy and happiness and why joy is a critical practice, especially in the face of suffering. Tanmeet Sethi is my special guest, who is the author of “Joy is My Justice.” She is also a board-certified Integrative Family Medicine physician and Clinical Associate Professor at the University of Washington School of Medicine.   The podcast explores the intriguing concepts from Tanmeet’s book, delves into joy as a path towards healing and even contributes to healing our ancestral wounds. Tanmeet spent the past 25 years working on the frontlines of the most marginalized communities, as well as globally with victims of school shootings, survivors of hurricanes, citizens impacted by police violence, and psychologists in Ukraine under attack.  Tune in to this enriching discussion as we navigate the intersection of joy, healing, and social justice with guidance from Tanmeet. In this episode, you’ll hear: The difference between joy and happiness (5:29) Why joy is a criti

Trigger Warning: This episode contains conversations about severe mental health and suicide. If you are sensitive to these topics, please take care.  I'm joined by the compassionate and highly experienced Dr. Nicole Washington, a mental health advocate who aims to reduce the stigma surrounding psychiatric illness. In this episode, we discuss how to recognize the need for mental health help, explore some thoughts and ideas around solutions for mental health struggles, and address some of the stigmas around mental wellness.  Dr. Nicole Washington has dedicated her career to caring for underserved communities, individuals with severe mental illness, and high-performing professionals who don't typically seek mental health services. She tirelessly educates the public on mental health topics through her private practice, podcast, speaking engagements, and written work.  Tune in to gain valuable insights into the complexities of mental health and the power of seeking help when needed. In this episode, you’ll hear: D

Today’s minisode comes from our listener survey from earlier this year. The listener wanted me to riff on the damage lying to yourself causes. Oof, am I right?  You’ll hear a theme in this episode about self-compassion. When we’re trying to move away from lying to ourselves, we need to always try and come from a place of self-kindness and compassion.  In this minisode I’ll pose a very important question for you to answer, as well as suggest an exercise that you can do at home to dig deeper around this particular behavior. Get out a piece of paper, your journal, or your notes app and get to work!  I also talk about self-abandonment and how it relates to this.

Today, I am joined by the wonderful Cybele Botran for a truly enlightening conversation that delves into reparenting and inner child work. Cybele is a SHE RECOVERS® and Holistic Recovery Coach, dedicated to empowering sober or sober-curious women.  Cybele’s mission is to guide women in shedding the heavy burdens of people-pleasing and perfectionism, and instead, foster the growth of resilient boundaries while rediscovering the pure essence of their inner child. This episode is a captivating exploration of inner healing, reparenting, and the rekindling of your inner child. Don't miss this opportunity to learn, grow, and rediscover. You’ll hear: Inner Child Energy vs. Inner Teen Energy and the distinctions between the energy of your inner child and the more adolescent inner teen (8:50) Cybele introduces us to the concept of reparenting. This journey is about becoming your very own nurturing parent, guiding yourself with compassion and understanding. (11:43) R.E.P.A.R.E.N.T - an acronym for healing: Cybele wa