Below The Bible Belt

Download Here, yo In which the good ol boys buy suspicious lottery tickets and consider a trip to Belize, as they talk about "Buried", the second leg of Breaking Bad's final eight episode run. THE NUMBERS ARE BAD, MAN. THE NUMBERS ARE BAD!     Outro: "DLZ" by TV on the Radio

Download Here, yo In which the good ol boys are in the lab and cooking once again. Join James and Matt for Breaking Belt, the minisode where they "dissect the chemistry" of Breaking Bad. After threatening to flip on James, Matt gets it together and they get into episode 601 "Blood Money", the start of Breaking Bad's final eight episode run.  WE'RE NOT IN THE PODCASTING BUSINESS, WE'RE IN THE EMPIRE BUSINESS.       Outro: "Negro y Azul: Ballad of Heisenberg" by Los Cuates de Sinaloa from episode 207 "Negro y Azul"

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys take a visit to Dr. Stein's photogenic mansion, as they endure the blacksploitation/mad-science-sploitation/establishing-shot-sploitation romp Blackenstein: The Black Frankenstein! Who knows what racism lurks in the heart of the 70's... BLACKENSTEINTHEBLACKFRANKENSTEINGIVEITALISTENWHYNOT     Links: Watch on Netflix! Or via the magic of Youtube!

Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys embark on their first ever minisode, as they ponder celestial domestic disturbances, search for the elusive land of Yonder, and watch helplessly as the debate over Dinner v. Supper tears the Johnson family apart. DR. PEPPER: IT'S MY BLACK GUY.     Links: NC State's Dialect Survey Map

"I will not set before my eyes anything that is worthless. I hate the work of those who fall away; it shall not cling to me."Psalms 101:3 Download Here, if ya please Dig this: The good ol' boys are discussing the malevolent mainstream media, and it's dichotomous depiction of their happy and hallowed homeland! Perk up those sound-peepers as they verbally fellate film's most aesthetically toothsome twosome, scoff at the sorry state of each other's movie knowledge, and trip balls during another jolly Johnson Family Movie Night. Also dig: James interrupts the lip-locking of libidinous young lovers, Matt belays his banjo bromance, and the Demon Dog of Dime-Store Detective Stories finally gets-- his -- DUE. Bam! Final dig: SING ME A SIZZLING SIN-SONG, BARKO!     Links: James Ellroy Hates EverythingJames Ellroy Hates Racism But James Ellroy Loves Peeping And James Ellroy Always Gets His Man James Ellroy is very proud of his show "James Ellroy's LA: City of Demons" PROMOTIONAL DIG: Be sure to

Download Here, if ya please In which them good ol' boys journey close to home, with the 2002 Reese Witherspoon rom-com critical bomb Sweet Home Alabama! Starring Patrick "Fuck You Patrick Dempsey" Dempsey, Murphy Brown, Stonewall Jackson, Guy Who Isn't Matthew McConaughey, and Fred Ward. ACT, REESE WITHERSPOON! MOVE-- YOUR-- FACE!     Links: Watch the full movie via the magic of Youtube!

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."1 Peter 4:8 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys find the one that they want (hoo hoo-ooh), when they recount one patriarch's passion for the Pink Ladies, question the legitimacy of an unlicensed ice cream truck, and spend an alarming amount of time rationalizing a basic taboo. Listen as one host's romantic endeavors are again thwarted by Paul Rudd, another lets his love flow (like a mountain stree-eeam), and both uncover the shocking true identity of Matt Johnson, AKA John Mattson, AKA Matty Nice, AKA H.P. Lovejohnson, AKA John Suan, AKA DJ Scoop, AKA Tootie. YES, FOR ALL THOSE WONDERING, BTBB IS NOW BI-WEEKLY. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE US NOW. (LIKE THIS POST)     Links: Alabama Leads Porn ListTexas Says It's OK to Shoot an Escort If She Won't Have Sex With You

Download Here, if ya please In which them good ol' boys usher in a new monthly segment, where they revisit some of cinema's trashiest southern-fried trainwrecks! In our first episode, White Bigot Matt awakens to find his head grafted to the body of Soul Brother James, as they watch the 1970's anti-classic The Thing With Two Heads. WHO WOULD HAVE SUSPECTED NEITHER WOULD CARE FOR THE IDEA TOO MUCH...     Links: Watch the full movie via the magic of Youtube!

"For the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God." James 1:20 (no relation) Download Here, if ya please In which the good ole boys start up a triple feature fight night of wrath and rage. First up, James and Matt fight to the death with undead Lincolns and man-boy fashion trends, as one member of The Hatest Generation attempts bycicular homicide, and another wages war against the exchange of big tips for big tits. In our second match, two icons (?) join forces to solve racism once and for all, with the cast of Good Burger, and our night finishes out with the main event: Science gone awry, a terrorist gone gangsta, and a redneck gone beatnik. DO THE LADIES REALLY LOVE COOL JAMES, OR DO THEY JUDGE HIS GOLD CHAINS?!      Links: The Rappin' Jihadist III: The Search For Spock The Accidental Racist The Thing with Two Heads Trailer I told you I didn't make this up

"The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is the servant of the lender."Proverbs 22:7 Download Here, if ya please In which one of them good ole boys is handed a pink slip, the other a bottle of soy sauce, as they court the bitter mistress that is poverty. James breaks out of Shawshank and into the Family Dollar, then stops to commit Grand Theft Queen Size, as Matt's Dad goes up against his most formidable foe yet... HIMSELF. As they decipher Hobo Sigils and meet up with an old friend from the (Middle)East Side, Matt tells a story so foul, so revolting, so WRONG, that it knocks the podcast off its hinges and shakes his co-host to his very soul. HE WALKS IN TWO WORLDS, BUT IS MASTER OF BOTH! MAN-HORSE, YOU ARE NATURE'S GREATEST WONDER! NOTE: Matt's audio is a little shaky in this episode, but if it helps, just imagine he's podcasting from THE PHANTOM ZONE!      Links: The Rappin' Jihadist II: The Wrath of Kahn A father-son outing gone WRONG Light the Cowboy Bob signal!

"Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know  that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him."- 1 John 3:15 Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys strap on their sideburns and prepare for war, as they discuss the bloodiest battle ever fought over shoes, search for Jefferson's Gold, give props to Charles Manson, and uncover a legal revelation of Alabama proportions. Listen to James say nothing in particular as Matt schools him on everything from the The War Between The States to The War Against The Statues, exposes the lamest hate-monger of them all, and gets freaky with our new national anthem. KROENEN LIVES.      Links: Every Signature Helps. Give Us Your Toot-Toot. So America May Have It's Beep-Beep. "Ignition (Remix)" copyright R. Kelly, 2003

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." - Proverbs 14:23 Download Here, if ya please In which the good ol' boys cut their hair, hide their tattoos, and fabricate their resumes, as they enter the job market! While James disturbs the tranquility of a lingerie shop, steals candy from a future employer, and again dodges bottles of urine, Matt recounts his time as DJ Johnson, gets ambushed by a job interview, and justifies the existence of Dragonball: Evolution with a single innuendo. WHAT KIND OF A BARBECUE IS THIS?!      Links: Peter Palmtree AKA God Of All Texas on Twitter "Quack Like A Duck" by G.O.A.T. and your M.O.M. "Down With The DP (Your Girlfriend's Favorite Song)" by G.O.A.T. and your M.O.M

 "I have been a stranger in a strange land."- Exodus 2:22 Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys are eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin', but not before reflecting on Christoph Waltz's exceptional facial hair. While James dodges bottles of urine and dances with scorpions, Matt gets locked in a life-or-death struggle with the shallow end, as one host reveals the least-harrowing disability imaginable, the other is drawn into the most polite hostage situation of all time, and the good name of Mississippi is forever tarnished. ALL GLORY TO THE LASER GOD!      Links: Christoph Waltz's beard has a tumblr. You know you want to click.

"Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of a holy day, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath" - Colossians 2:16 Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys get the Thanksmas Giving spirit, as Matt regails us with tales from his pampered past, James barters with cart gypsies inside The Wal-Mart on The Edge of Forever, and the two bond over their favorite holiday songs (about sex). After the festivities, stick around for the inspirational story of a terrorist who decided to drop something other than bombs... funky lyrics. BETTER WATCH OUT, BETTER NOT CRY, THE FAT MAN'S GOTTA HANDFUL OF SALT FOR YOUR EYE!      Links: Introducing R.A.D. The Radical Robot. Fear Him. Still better than most Country, I'll admit. "It's a Wizzleteats Kind of Christmas" copyright Nickelodeon, 1993 "Back-Door Santa" copyright Clarence Carter, 1968

"Seriously, F#@K Obama!" - Judges 4:20 (Ok God, now that is just uncalled for)Download Here, if ya please In which them good ole boys return to resolve last episode's shocking cliffhanger -- sort of -- before flashing back to the carefree days of Scoop Johnson, Professional Muckraker. Matt exposes his tongue-tied Deep Throat, James exposes the most racist website in existence, and a dust jacket exposes the alcoholic cyborg ghost controlling it all. With voodoo. OBAMA '78: STREET WALKIN' LOVER, JIVE TALKIN' BROTHER      Links: Dumber than... what? I'm only linking this because I don't think you believe me about the GIF. AFTER-SHOW UPDATE: The Empire has FALLEN. Where will the internet get it's racist blog headlines now???

"May his days be few; may another take his office!" - Psalm 109:8(the opinions of God may or may not reflect those of Below The Bible Belt and it's staff) Download here, if ya please In which them good ole boys forgo their manners and talk politics. They chew the fat about the presidential election before moving onto such decisive subjects as a gun-toting democrats, the second coming of Joseph Stalin, and which 70's actor Mitt Romney aspires to be. James rides in stolen cars with criminal midgets, Matt pulls off voter fraud, and a surprise twist leads to... a cliffhanger?! WHIPLASH 2012: A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT, A WOMAN ON EVERY TRACK     Links: Comrade Lee Anderson John "Shoot Em Up" Barrow Evolution leaps forward... in the polls.

"Eye for eye, tooth for tooth..." Exodus 21:24 Download here, if ya please In which them good ole boys plunge head-first into the seedy underbelly of the South! Recoil in horror as Matt chronicles his days as a truck hobo, James holds a store at finger-point, and after several non-consecutive getaways, they recount the twisted tale of a judge, a cowboy, and a paddle. STOP, DROP, BETTA PICK UP A WAFFLE HOUSE MOP!     Links: The Fall of Herman Thomas: Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six The Aftermath Epilogue: The Paddling Judge Rises Police Detour for Early Bird Special Ends in Tragedy It Could Happen To You

"Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares"Hebrews 13: 2 Download here, if ya please In which them good ole boys bring in their token Yankee to discuss life in the North, as the three set out to save President Mitt Romney from the great Jehovah threat, before waging war against an enemy that will never hear them coming. While James deals with homoerotic hearsay, Matt declares himself a sovereign individual, and decides the fate of the Hoosier State once and for all. INDIANA: COME FOR THE HOMOS, STAY FOR THE PHOBIA     Links: Cowboy Donny's Blog Man With Hilarious Name Released on Bond, Hilarity Ensues Listen to Alex on Pulp Nightmare, Dork Knights, and Off-Panel They're watching.

"You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people..." Leviticus 19:16 Download Here, if ya please In today's episode, them good ol' boys spread the news of the South far and wide! Toe-suckers, bank robbers, and public masturbators abound in this jam-packed issue, as the boys go from the trials and tribulations of one Walter White (not that one) to the secrets of Robert Stack's immortality, while James sets forth to reinvent Alabama's image and Matt plans the perfect escape... via bicycle. LEMME TELL YA'll THE STORY OF BILLY JACK, WHO NEVER MET A CHOIR HE COULDN'T ATTACK.     Links: "Walter White" Wanted For Manufacturing Meth in Alabama Alabama Fan Wanted For Scrotal Assault - PART ONE Alabama Fan Wanted For Scrotal Assault - PART TWOAlabama Pastor Holds ‘Whites Only’ Conference (video) "Rednecks For Obama" Page Creates ControversyWal-Mart Shopper Tricked Into Gross Act With Her Toe What IsGoing On In Florida? The Ballad of Billy JackI'm Just Saying.

"Honor your father and your mother..."Exodus 20:12  Download here, if ya please In today's episode, them good ol' boys examine the twisted branches of their family trees, from gun-toting aunts to guitar-swinging great-great-great granddaddies. Listen as one father wages war on hairstyles, another battles street punks using only erectile dysfunction, and a sister begins the most dysfunctional game of hide-and-seek ever played. READY THE CANNONS! THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!     Links: Abbeville Co. Council asks S.L.E.D. to Investigate Sheriff (Video) Matt's Aunt Confronts Ex-Husband: A Dramatization (Video) World Orphans: Adopt an Orphan - Save The World