Practice Of Being Seen

We all love a good superhero movie. It’s hard not to leave the theater feeling inspired, empowered, and ready to change the world. Therapists are already changing the world, but for many trying to grow a private practice, it can seem difficult to push through the hard parts of growth. It’s easy to lose yourself in your practice, and you might start to feel the kryptonite of discouragement before long. Faster than a speeding bullet, Dr. Annie Schuessler is here to show you just where your inner power lies. She realized that Therapists really are just like superheroes, complete with their own superpowers! Through coaching, writing, and her podcast, Annie is on a mission to change the way you think about yourself. So what are these superpowers, and how can they help you grow your practice? How can understanding your true power really impact your practice? Check out the whole conversation, to find out how!   Episode Highlights:    Where did the Therapist Superpowers come from?  Ways to help you access your

Spirituality and sensuality are born of the same energy and you can’t separate them. When we can tap into both of them, you enter the dance of life and you can embrace who you truly are.   Tamara Powell, founder of Arya Therapy Services, Tales of Being a Trapezoid Community and the Undress the Spirit Podcast joins us to talk about sexuality, identity, expression, and authenticity.   In this podcast, we dive deep into: how to live life as a sacred dance of giving and accepting invitations the connection between shame and trauma, and sensuality and sexuality the balance between taking responsibility and experiencing pleasure the empowering stories behind archetypes like Lilith and Mary Magdalene how to be authentic to your truest self and recognize the guidance you are able to receive at all times     To learn more about Tamara’s Therapy services, please go to: https://www.facebook.com/aryatherapyservices/ To follow Tamara and her community of like-mind Trapezoids, go to: https://www.facebook.com

What got Neil Sattin into his work as a couples coach and host of the popular Relationship Alive podcast? Believe it or not, it was dog training! In working with dogs and their owners, Neil discovered that he loved coaching people in relationship.   We go way beyond puppy love in this episode….   You know we love storytelling on the POBScast, and we also know that “stories” can be tricky, especially when it comes the stories a person can tells about herself, her partner, and her relationship. Neil helps us unpack when stories are helpful and when they perpetuate illusions. If you have conclusions about your partner, there’s a good chance the relationship will conclude, says Neil. We play with the whole “be present” thing. Is it always possible and even desirable to be present in every moment? Conscious timeouts are key to relational harmony. Relationships change over time. We talk about how humor and clear communication about your needs can help couples shape “a story of now” and keep growing togethe

If someone told you that authentic relationships can cure just about everything, would you believe him? Listen to nationally recognized family therapist, author, and teacher Terry Real talk about “how to live a relational life” and there’s a great chance you’ll be on board with that idea.   If relationships are so fundamental to who we are, why are so many couples in trouble these days? Marriage wasn’t built for long walks on the beach and sex into your 70s. Marriage was built for companion and stability. So often, the reality doesn’t meet expectations.   Terry defines a “new intimacy” and tells us how this is synonymous with freeing men and women from the bonds and expectations of patriarchy. He invites us to think about relationships “ecologically” and understand how to act out of “enlightened self-interest” because we’re all so connected.   Therapeutic neutrality is a myth, says Terry and he believes you can’t teach people to be relational unless you’re relational with them. He teaches therapists to

Have you been taught to believe that nonstop working is the only way to sustain and guarantee a successful business? When your creative energy starts to dwindle, how can you find your purpose and embody it again?   Licensed marriage and family therapist and ZynnyMe cofounder Kelly Higdon has established a business model that many of us don’t dare to dream of: she went from the kind of overwork that landed her in the hospital to taking up to four months off each year.   In this episode:   Kelly reveals how focusing on different aspects of her business during different seasons has completely transformed her work-life balance for the better. We explore how operating with a minimalist mentality can help “clear out the clutter” and be inspiration for taking the next step toward your greater goals We discuss the importance of knowing the difference between “good push and bad push” and how to know when to reevaluate your plan so it serves your higher purpose. We dive into how finding the connection betwe

What are the biggest mistakes people make when they tell a story? It’s not “too much detail.” Storytelling Coach Marsha Shandur gives advice about how to be a powerful storyteller - even if you’re a private person or a therapist concerned about disclosing too much.   When you meet Marsha in real life, she makes an impression. You always remember what you feel around her (it’s all about grinning and being fabulously real, we find). That phenomenon totally carries over into the POBScast experience.   There’s a truth that so many coaches share: When you get very clear on why you are doing what you are doing, everything changes. When you’re in alignment, the universe starts throwing what you need in your path. Marsha tells us about her light bulb moment…   For years she thought she was supposed to be using her storytelling coaching skills in order to help nonprofits and other change the world ideas, but then she realized her real mission: she’s going to help us all understand that no one has their SH** toge

What does it take to claim your personal truths? What does that process look like when you’re trying to find the intersection between your passion, and the work you’re meant to do in the world, and the work you’re already doing every day?   For the first time in many months, Marisa and Rebecca recorded a “Just Us” episode. In part, it’s a chance to dive deep into the project that’s front of mind at POBS: the (Re)Vision Retreat for Therapist-Healers that’s coming up this August. It’s also a chance to talk about the evolution of an idea and how it moves from being something you dream about into something you can describe and then birth into the world.   How do you understand your personal and professional brand? We use Rebecca’s evolving vision of “Connectfulness” as a model of a theory and a brand that’s been incubating for a long time and that is emerging in a new way. It’s about living the story before you can tell it. It’s also about becoming the embodiment of the vision. As Marisa says, Rebecca has bec

What happens when you pair courage and humility? How can “coming from a heart of service” transform your business and your life? And how do you ride the continuum between honoring what the heart wants and needing to take care of all the practical things?   In our conversation with Melvin Varghese, the clinician behind the phenomenally successful Selling the Couch podcast, we dive deep into the internal struggles and insecurities that come up for any entrepreneur, especially  psychotherapists in private practice. We talk about the magic that happens when you stand at your growth edge and take a leap despite your fears.   Through his podcast and thriving Facebook community, many people know who Melvin is and they recognize his personal brand. It’s about authenticity and curiosity and compassion.  We’re honored that Melvin was willing to dive deep with us and share some stories he’s never told before including the story of  his family’s emigration and what really inspires him to do this work and take profess

Nam Rindani joins us to talk about storytelling, listening, the therapist-client relationship, politics, restorative justice, and so much more. Much of the conversation focuses on the therapist’s relationship with herself, with her own stories, and with her clients, but everyone interested in understanding the human experience will see themselves in this episode.   Nam gives us her own definition of the Practice of Being Seen - and we adore it. It’s the confident, solid practice of trusting that whoever you are and whatever part of you shows up. It’s the simple act of existing without apology.    Throughout the conversation, we celebrate the dance between stories and relationships, especially in the therapy space. According to Nam, therapists are human beings first and they play the part of therapists in certain settings. How many therapists have bought into the myth that they’re neutral, that they’re emotional robots? This conversation is rich with alternative ways of showing up for yourself, as an indiv

Kim John Payne of Simplicity Parenting and writer of the international #1 bestseller of the same name joins us to talk about how “we can be at our best when our kids are at their worst.”   We talk about how kids “ping” us. They use their trusted parents, their safest place to figure out where they are emotionally. It’s important to try to understand when our kids have lost their bearings because, as Kim says, “I’ve never met a disobedient kid, but I have met a lot of disorientated ones.” Kim encourages us to be inquisitive rather than accusative: “I wonder why you’re so lost” moves us out of the “fight or flight” brain, the amygdala, into wondering and into the “let’s play” and “let’s cooperate” part of the brain.   We talk about what it’s like to watch ourselves at our best and at our worst and acknowledge how hard it can be to see ourselves so clearly. And we dive into a huge stress for for parents: feeling unseen. Eventually, feeling unseen and unappreciated builds up a toxic charge. The antidote: stop

Mercedes Samudio LCSW is a parent coach who is changing the world with the End Parent Shaming movement. She is on a mission to inspire Shame Proof Parents and counter the way that feedback from other parents, extended family, schools, and organizations so often diminishes a parent’s own inner knowing about their kids.   When someone says “I’m failing my children,” it’s almost always because an external party is telling them they’re doing something wrong. The End Parent Shaming philosophy asks us to become aware of how we look at parents, understand that each parent has their own story, and step away from the deeply ingrained human propensity to judge others.   Mercedes introduces us to the idea a “parenting identity” and we talk about how it’s formed. “Shame” is a recurring word in this conversation. Mercedes credits Brene Brown for helping her frame how shame influences parents. There’s the external pressure to fit into boxes in order to look good in the moment rather than to understand one’s own parenti

Allison Puryear is an “LCSW with a nearly diagnosable obsession with business development.” We discuss the origin story of Alison’s company, Abundance Practice Building, and what it’s like to create a business that’s one of the loves of your life. Ultimately, it’s about building a business that is structured around the way you want to live. Have you heard of the “spider web effect”? Allison describes how it plays out for her: she helps someone start or build a practice they love and that gives them the time, energy, and finances to take better care of themselves. In turn, they can do their best clinical work which helps clients and then ripples to all the people in their clients’ lives. This conversation is about dualities and balance and permission to explore and live out many aspects of your identity. Transformation relies on riding the flow between two poles and allowing yourself to be both when it’s appropriate. We talk growth edges and the moments when you panic because you’re not growing. Allison ho

Keri Nola joins us to shed some light on what it means to love the shadow and helps us dive deep into the energies of Mercury Retrograde.   Even if you’re not a student of astrology, you probably know that people groan when they hear Mercury is going retrograde. This conversation helps you understand the power and potential of what is a nurturing, quiet time.   This is time when miscommunication is more likely, when technology is prone to glitches, and travel is more difficult. but it is also a time when we’re invited to slow down and look within. Often, we’re afraid what we might find in those quiet, slow spaces but you’re invited to see these periods as a chance to see what parts of body, mind, and spirit most need our attention.   Keri leads us on an exploration of her “favorite shadows.” As an Intuitive Psychotherapist, Energetic Visionary, and the Founder of the Sacred Soul Circle for Healing Entrepreneurs, Keri is on a mission to help us to remember how to shine a light on the shadows ready for he

Soness Stevens asks “Why does the world need to hear your message?” A TED speaker and TEDx Head Speaker Coach, Soness unlocks what it means to connect with an audience. She offers valuable tools and speaking tips as well as personal stories and together we dive into “speaking is healing.” Simon Sinek is famous for asking “What’s your ‘why’?” Soness helps us see that you have to go beyond that in order to create and deliver a successful TED talk. You need to drill down to the universal truth. Soness shares how the “Wisdom of the Five Whys” is a great place to start. “Speaking is healing because you’re listening,” says Soness. We explore reciprocity and the powerful interplay between speaker and audience. A presentation is about being present in that moment. The best TED speakers have rehearsed over 200 times so they can be truly present and truly connect in a mindful, compassionate way that becomes an example of love in action. Successful communication and meaningful connection rely on understanding that pe

Amy Tatsumi conjures up sacred rebellion, sacred leadership, and sacred unions. This conversation creates a container that enables us to explore our responses to current political events, connect to embodied wisdom, and play with the dance of the masculine and feminine. Amy gathers women together for their sacred work. She is a portal for them to remember who they are and who they have always been. Her own path of awakening includes Qoya and Tantra, both of which she describes in depth during the episode. There’s so much to explore in the interplay between the sacred masculine and divine feminine. Amy sheds some light on the “diminished masculine” and describes it as walking through the shadow of shame and hustling for worthiness the swampland of the soul. (Yeah. Wow.) And then there’s the vision of the wolf. Amy shares with us the messenger who and gave her an understanding of the divine masculine that helped her understand she herself had been in the living through the diminished masculine. Once she expe

Fiachra “Figs” O’Sullivan, an Irish born San Francisco-based dad, husband, and psychotherapist, gets real with us about the fears of showing up, being vulnerable, talking politics, and having fun - even when you have no idea how people will receive you.   “Being real” with clients in a healing environment is one thing, but what does it mean to bring  who you really are to the greater, public online space? Figs helps us understand that this isn’t a modern, online phenomenon: we all take these risks in our relationships when we ask others to really see who we are.   Couples therapy helps individuals see and understand that they both play a role in the relationship story. Together, they can begin to create a new narrative of love and belonging.   All relationships are on a continuum and we move between moments of connection and disconnection and we spend much of our time in the messy middle. Through experiences of disconnecting and reconnecting, you start to see that you fight because you mean so much to e

New York City based music therapist and psychotherapist Maya Benattar helps us explore the “new normal” that has emerged in our post-election world. Maya is a member of our Practice of Being Seen Community for Therapists and accepted our invitation to publish a piece on the contributor’s blog on practiceofbeingseen.com. To begin, Maya reads Finding the New Normal in Our Post-Election World which she wrote in mid-November and published on our site on inauguration day. Our conversation focuses the process of writing, editing, publishing, and watching a personal story create ripples far beyond your own memories and lived experience. The writing process is meant to give back to you. To write into an election response or to any event your find confusing or traumatic would be cathartic, but to move into publishing a piece and then sharing it with family, friends, and a wider audience?  That is where you step from “just writing” into being a storyteller who engages an audience and sparks new conversations. Telli

The parts of the story that we leave out, the parts of ourselves that we’re too ashamed to share - what happens when you shape these into art? Our guest Eva Tenuto, co-founder of the Hudson Valley-based TMI project describes her life’s work: helping people uncover, shape, and share their stories. Through workshops that lead up to public performances, deep personal experiences are crafted to create community, healing, and help performers and audience members see that they aren’t alone. In our conversation with Eva, we talk about the writing and editing process and how it’s deepened by sharing it with a group. The TMI process invites people to explore and tell versions of vulnerable stories and to get the support from facilitators to make it a powerful, captivating story that will speak to the audience’s collective heart.  We explore how TMI creates a special container that’s unique and and that telling such revealing stories isn’t for everyone in all venues. “Relationships shape stories and stories shape rel

The noise of the media and the noise in our own minds - how do we stay sane when there is no “off” button? Mindfulness teacher, Kabbalistic healer, and author Sharon Rosen helps us think about essential goodness, discernment, and integration in this age of distraction.   What if distractions are the opportunity to strengthen the muscles of our attention? Painful moments can become moments of awakening that remind us to tune into our humanity.   We talk about the reality of our online lives and how to nurture and build relationships in real life and in digital spaces. Often, it’s about coming back to “the basics” - which is hard because humans are natural “complexifiers.”   Sharon shares her own stories of how her tribal and familial legacy might have set her up for a lifetime of anxiety. Instead, she chose the path of healing and self growth that led her to become a wellness practitioner, spiritual healer, and mindfulness teacher.   The Mystery plays a keys part in Sharon’s life and approach to healin

Did you see the signs from the Women’s Marches featuring Princess Leia and “A woman’s place is in the Resistance?” Carrie Fisher’s character was part of childhood for so many us and now, she’s part of our politics and our identity. Leia wasn’t just a princess. She was also a hero. Her multifaceted identity speaks right to our desire to save others and even as we want to be saved. We have permission to be both and we have permission to be walking contradictions. We have permission to be both loving mothers and “nasty women.” This conversation between Marisa and Rebecca dives into human development and how this parallels recent developments in the US. We call on everyone from Ani Difranco to Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Martin Luther King to John Lewis to help us understand our desire to resist and be part of the impassioned, nonviolent resistance.