Practice Of Being Seen

Sex is a richly complex part of being human and there’s no one way to experience it.  It can be a catalyst for spiritual connection or a source of deep trauma.  It thrives on play.  It emphasizes pleasure for pleasure’s sake.  It enacts politics and power plays.  It insists on respect and permission.  And, in our culture, it is tightly bound to shame.      This week’s guest is Cyndi Darnell, one of Australia’s leading sex and relationship therapists, and she asks us to consider what would change if we acknowledged that we do in fact have bodies, without which we cannot experience the world.  She wants us to know that it is safe to talk about our bodies, our experiences, our desires.  In fact, she invites us to consider how radically different our world could be if we were more comfortable talking about sex.  How would this change your relationship with yourself or your partner?  How would it change how we raise our children?  How would it change the status quo?   The beginnings of sex therapy as a field,

In a field where, more often than not, women tend to be the ones more often drawn to our therapy practices, working with male clients in a therapy practice can pose unique challenges.  Men generally aren’t equipped to talk about their feelings in the same ways that women are and they can often feel like their sense of self is under attack while under the clinical microscope. Today’s guest, John Harrison, knows quite a bit about this as a certified Relational Life Therapist, a facilitator for men’s therapy groups, an Army veteran, husband and father.  And, he has found interesting ways to break down those barriers with men in his practice by inviting his own personal experiences into the room with his clients.   John says that “we can’t teach couples to be appropriately relational if we don’t relate appropriately with them.”  This, and more wisdom in Episode 43 of the #POBScast.   In this episode, John and I discuss:   Why men feel threatened by the pressure of transformation in therapy. The difference

Money as a conversation piece is as taboo as sex.  It’s as difficult to discuss as racism.  We simply just don’t go there very well.  And, it’s not really our fault.  We generally aren’t taught how to have a healthy relationship with money. We don’t have good (or any) mentorship around it in our careers and we certainly don’t bring money into conversations within the clinical space.  There’s something about money that brings up all the shame and fear.  And yet, it is as necessary to our modern day survival as water and shelter.   So, why is it so hard to go there?  And how are we held back or not showing up as our full selves when we don’t acknowledge money’s role in our lives and confront the fears that come with it?  Can we sit with our narratives and determine whether they’re serving us?  Can we accept others’ feelings toward us when we succeed or fail?     These are all the things we’re leaning into today on Episode 42 on the #POBScast, as I chat with Tiffany McLain of HeyTiffany.com.  In addition to

I've had some realizations about my mentorship program that I wanted to share with you. I may not be doing what is recommended, but I am doing what feels right for me. I hope you will also give yourself permission to also do what feels right for you. Learn more about and join the Connectfulness® Method Mentorship Program here. 

When we first start out in private practice, when we launch that new offering--anytime we do something new--uncertainty always plays a role.  We prepare and plan as much as we can, of course, but the real clarity comes from doing.  Still, that doesn’t stop the fears, the risk of failure, the shame feelings from presenting themselves, does it?     Laura Long, LMFT wants us all to undo all of those fears by unleashing our inner badass.  Today she chats with me about how her coaching business, Your Badass Therapy Practice, came to be.  She talks about the power in making your own rules, how she strikes a balance with her home and work life, and the unanticipated gifts she’s found in doing brave things.   In this episode, we talk about:   Fraud feelings, grandiosity, and the one thing that neutralizes them both. How Laura’s inner “Bitchy Brenda” protects and inhibits her, and how she puts her in her place when it’s time to move forward. Using evidence and logic to undo fear and reframe failure. Why ther

What is your relationship to self-care?  Self-care is quite the buzzword these days, both within our chosen field of work but also in mainstream media and culture.   As therapists, we know it is a vital part of our practices to avoid burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious traumatization.  In other words, it helps us to do the work better, to show up more fully for our clients and for our families outside of work.  But, for all we know about self-care, and for all the tips and tricks available to us, many of us still struggle to feel like we are doing much better than running on empty.  Often times, we feel we are just maintaining, rather than thriving.   Why is that?  You could say that Dr. Matt Hersh knows a thing or two about this, and today, he’s sharing his thoughts with me on the #POBScast.     Dr. Matt Hersh is a psychotherapist, mindfulness meditation teacher, and heart-centered entrepreneur.   He is the founder of The Thriving Therapist, which aims to help therapists and healers provide the sa

People of color--black women in particular--have always been an underserved population when it comes to therapy.  Though there are many factors, one important one that we therapists can work on changing is a matter of trust and safety.  A lot of black women want a black therapist because of fear of being misunderstood by a therapist who can’t relate to (or worse, disbelieves) their experiences.  In this present social climate, this is a conversation we all need to have with ourselves and our colleagues.  It starts with seeing ourselves.   This is what Dr. Joy Harden Bradford and I are talking about in episode 39 of the #POBScast.  Dr. Joy Harden Bradford is a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia.  She is the host of the podcast, Therapy for Black Girls and saw a need for a Therapist Directory for therapists of color for clients of color, so she took the initiative to create one. She talks about following her heart in her work, our need to curate the media we consume, how to be better allies, and what s

Fraud feelings and overwhelm. Squelched desires and jealousy.  How do you differentiate between fears designed to keep you safe and fears beckoning you to toward your potential?     The friction of change during growth periods in our lives is never very comfortable, but for all our fears, we rarely meet our utter demise on the other side.  So, why is it so hard to break through it?  And what can we learn about ourselves from it?   Episode 38 of the #POBScast puts Imposter Syndrome under the lens.  I’m chatting with Melody Wilding, an entrepreneur, coach, writer, and licensed social worker who helps high achieving individuals navigate the emotional facets that come along with successful careers.     In this episode, Melody and I discuss:   The conundrum that imposter syndrome presents and navigating the feelings that imposter syndrome stirs up in us The paradox of the therapist’s “blank slate” Why therapists are well poised for entrepreneurship and what is standing in the way The archetype of the w

Something magical happens when people gather together in the same space.  Something that can’t happen in online gathering spaces in quite the same way.  Gatherings take many forms: Retreats, workshops, conferences.  Walk-outs, protests, sit-ins.  Tea parties, play groups, picnics.  But the one unifier is that buzz, the energy, that each person feels when they’re there.  A buzz they’ll each carry with them long after.   That’s what I’m talking about with this week’s guest, Lizzy Russinko of The Brave Gatherers and A Life Unscripted.  Lizzy is a bold change maker.  A hand lettering artist, an activist, and a community gathering creator.  She literally makes space for transformation and connection.  Lizzy creates amazing retreats and also guides other message-driven, soulful business owners who want to make intimate in-person gatherings a part of what they offer in business too.   In this episode, Lizzy and I discuss:   How organizing movements and disruptions became a foundational experience for Lizzy an

In Episode 36 of the #POBScast, John Clarke and I thread connections between imposter syndrome, niching down and generating enough income in our practices as therapists, to making the space for reflection on the relationship we have with ourselves and how this informs our marketing message and confidence in the room with our clients.  This conversation comes full circle as we talk about our fears of “making it” in our businesses and in seeing ourselves clearly--it forms a dance between beginner’s mind and owning our expertise.  I love how generous he is in sharing his own current struggles in business too, which reinforces what we all should know to be true: None of us have it all together.   John Clarke is a licensed psychotherapist who has run successful practices in both San Francisco and Charlotte, North Carolina, where he currently runs a group practice.  Because he saw a need for other therapists to get the practical guidance and support they need to create meaningful practices that are also successfu

This week on the #POBScast, Rebecca speaks with Jeffrey Davis, a writer, speaker, consultant and founder of Tracking Wonder, a consultancy and community that helps creative innovators, entrepreneurs, and social psychologists flourish through challenge and change.   Jeffrey says that we often defer our sense of wonder to our children and give ourselves other tasks.  But, what if wonder is grown-up work?  Jeffrey and I both share a common interest in the integration of our creativity, our money-making endeavors, our sensory experiences, and our relationships into one life that is full of meaning.  And actually, who we were as children can tell us a lot about how we naturally do things and how to move forward to create our most important, most integrated work.  This is where we can begin to crack ourselves open and dare to forge ahead to the unvisited shores that beckon us.   In this episode, Rebecca and Jeffrey discuss: Exactly what grown-up wonder is and why we need to track it. Ideas on the “fear of th

This episode is equal parts stream-of-consciousness musing and a call-to-action.  Throughout, I am redefining the meaning and intention of the Practice of Being Seen in both micro and macro levels: as a podcast, in branding, as a way of knowing ourselves, as a means of serving others.  I want to know what you want from the https://www.practiceofbeingseen.com/feedback (#POBScast) as well. I believe that everything stems from how we see ourselves.  In daring to look at my own shadows, I invite you to do the same.  As we do this hard work together, we shine a light on who we really are and uncover new depths within us to be the change we wish to see in the world--the change that our clients seek in their work with us. Join me on “The Becca Train” as I discuss:   What social work revealed to me that my photographic work couldn’t. What I’ve learned therapists really need in order to explore their own depths and shadows and why exploring our own depths and shadows is exactly what our clients (and the world) n

As we close out the 1st season of the #POBScast we're reflecting on this journey of being seen. It's a journey full of obstacles and pivots and revisions. And along the way, finding your voice and communicating your vision. And one of the most beautiful aspects of this podcast journey is being able to uncover new ways to communicate with and understand one another. No one knows the power of this beautiful podcast phenomenon better than Elsie Escobar. Elsie is one of the early pioneers of podcasting. In fact, she is about to be inducted into the Podcast Hall of Fame—so cool! Besides hosting two podcasts of her own, Elsie works hard to ensure fellow podcasts are heard on their road to self-discovery. Elsie’s own path is remarkable; you are going to be so inspired after hearing it! Pause for a moment, lean into the silence, and be inspired.   (And we sort of can't help but love that on this first episode of Rebecca’s solo POBScast hosting journey, in conversation with Elsie, it's Rebecca who's audio is crackly

Where does healing begin? Is it in the mind, the spirit, the body….or is it somewhere in between? This week, pause with us as we hold space for healing with Eleanora Amendolara, Marisa’s very own Spiritual Healer and Teacher. As Marisa has been experiencing the transformative power of spiritual healing, she knew she wanted to share those experiences with you as this season of the podcast ends. Eleanora’s work at the Sacred Center Mystery School in New York has had a lasting impact on so many. Now is your chance to join in and experience the mystery.    The best way to describe Eleanora’s healing work is “grounded woo,” a mixture of mystery and practical healing work. Informed by the tribal practices in Peru, among many other divine sources, Eleanora wants to enable you to respond to life, rather than react to it. Transform the mind buzz and enter into a realm of inner peace. You Know what you need to Know. Come and join the conversation with us!     Eleanora shares her life path to spiritual healing.  A

Parents, caregivers, and guardians: Have you taken a moment to be present with your kids today? Do you find yourself worn out, or feeling raw and strung out? Truth is that we are all muddling through his messy soup of life together, and as parents ourselves, we wanted to bring to you a guest who can speak kindness and healing to your energy struggles.   This week, we sit down with Carla Naumburg, author, social worker, and mother, who has a practice of mindfulness that transformed her parenting. Carla describes her own triumphs and pitfalls as she muddles through motherhood. Her pursuit to live a present and mindful life for her daughters is truly inspiring.   Carla teaches us that you have no need to feel guilt over past mistakes, or fear for the ones you will make in the future. Here is a space to explore your needs as well as the needs of your kids, and heal together as a supportive community. For mindfulness tips, and more, you’ll want to listen to this week’s Practice of Being Seen Podcast.   Carl

So much of the work we do on the show is about embracing the hard work of transformation. One of the hardest things we do is ask you to sit in an uncomfortable place. We run and hide from discomfort, but that is the best place to be for some true self-discovery. What makes us uncomfortable faster than anything else? Getting in front of a camera. How can a photograph change your life? It might surprise you.   This week, we sat down with Robyn Ivy, Life Coach, Photographer, and Advocate. Robyn has taken her dual passions for photography and people to create an approach to self-exploration. She wants to teach us to use photography as a means of meditation and intentionality. Just like a good portrait captures the essence of who you are, the pictures you capture can also say a lot about you. Not only that, but a photo could possibly change the world.    Robyn is doing all that and more, and we are excited to share it with you!  Also in this episode:     Using photography as a tool to transform how we see

Everybody has a lens from which they view the world; Janice Levy’s just happens to be a literal lens. Janice is a photographer, art scholar, and world traveler. Her work has won countless awards, and her work as a teacher in the US and across the globe has had a deeply personal impact on those lucky enough to be her students. Janice uses photography as more than a way to capture the present. Instead, she uses the memories she preserves to explore the past.   After her father died, Janice discovered a secret through his photography that changed her life forever. As his story unfolded, so did her own. Now she teaches, travels, and captures moment by moment miracles all around us. Prepare to think of your photographs in an entirely new light. The world around us is shifting, so it is time to stop and take notice.   Also in this episode:   Using photography to draw connections between the past and the present. Janice’s fulfilling and challenging experiences in Saudi Arabia. Teaching as a window to the in

This week, we want to give a warm welcome to you, the listeners of the Practice of Being Seen Podcast, and the therapists who have journeyed alongside us in our POBS community. It is a gift to be able to hold this space so dearly as a place to grow and discover truth with all of you. Just as the POBS community has grown, Rebecca and Marisa have also been able to uncover hidden talents and dreams that need their own space to grow. With that realization came the knowledge that this POBS podcast and community will need to pivot.   Over the next month, Marisa will be leaving the podcast to dig deep into her passion as a writer. Her vision is to grow not only in her own writing but to develop your writing as well.    Rebecca will stay on with the Practice of Being Seen, she’ll continue to produce the podcast, and share her passion for serving other therapists through individual consulting and in a new mentorship program (sign up here to learn more).   Both Rebecca and Marisa acknowledge that growth is diffic

Are you willing to do hard work? This is the question that therapy clients are ask in one way or another, whether or not they say it in so many words. Compassionate therapists are so ready to answer “Yes!” Even with that willingness to do the hard work of navigating relationships, trauma, attachments, etc. it can take a toll on your confidence. We need to put into practice the skills we learned to help our clients to reflect on our own lives. We need confidence, self-assurance, and hope.  This week, Margaret Thompson, LCSW journeys with us into the art of being and becoming a couples therapist and traveling through all the feelings of imposter syndrome and doubt. We'll dive deep with us into the skills we all need to navigate trauma and attachment. And then zoom out to see how those skills can change your life. Margaret wants to give you energy and confidence to put your “Yes” on the table for your client, to walk into the room completely at ease with yourself. We discuss how therapists can be a “container

Are you one of so many people struggling toward work-life balance? How do you walk into your work environment? Does it serve you in more than finances? We spend 40 hours a week at work. The places we work and the people we work with have a tremendous impact on our lives. The old school way of thinking says that we need to check our emotions and other “soft stuff” at the door when we come to work, but studies are showing that does not have to be true.    Mineela Chand is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who seeks to spread an emotional awareness in all aspects of our lives. Recently, she gave a Ted Talk showing how we can depend on qualitative data as well as quantitative data to shape the way our businesses function. The emotional environment within a team or industry can truly shape the lives of the people who work there. When we bring an awareness to our “emotional ecosystem” we can begin to create a positive impact in not just our own lives, but the lives of those we work and live with. Take a mo