Between Parents

Imagine a teacher, coach, or neighbor describing your parenting profile, what terms would they use? Are they positive or negative descriptions? In this episode Billy and Joy review ten parenting profiles – five negative and five positive. Think of them as coins with a distinct flip side! However, when if comes to parenting, YOU get to pick what side your coin lands on. What do you choose? Are you… The Complaining Parent or The Uplifting Parent? The Panic Parent or The Measured Parent? The Competitive Parent or The Celebratory Parent? The Gossip Parent or The Quiet Parent? The Chaos Parent or the Calm Parent? Lots of things to talk about here! Take a listen. Talk about this: Which type of parent are you most likely to become? Don't just answer for yourself -- ask your spouse/friend what type they think you're most likely to become? How are those negative responses working for you really? What could be improved should you respond differently? What are the triggers for your reaction? How can you build in new, po

What does a parent do? This is a simple question, but can you boil the answer down to something clear and compelling? In today’s episode Billy and Joy kick around one classic word picture that’s timeless and encouraging for families even today. Talk about this: How do you define coaching in the context of your family... what kind of coach are you? When is it most difficult for you to show up as a coach? (when you wake up? walk down the road? etc.) Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents Thanks for listening and sharing this podcast

Why is it so hard to get home from the office? What keeps us from racing home? In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk about some of the factors standing in our way and offer some reminders of things we can do differently. Talk about this: Do you REALLY believe your presence at home makes a difference? Do you feel the urgency of waning days? What are your unique factors in your particular season? Related Links: Pew Research Fathers Day Facts Forbes Article -25 Biggest regrets  Bronnie Ware – Top Five Regrets of the Dying  Harvard Business Review – Long hours backfire for people and companies Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using A

Your kids are growing up fast. How does that make you feel? Are you excited? Do you dread the loss of the little years? In this episode Billy and Joy kick around some mental frameworks to help parents cope with loss and celebrate every childhood season. Talk about this: What leads me to try to hang on childhood in my kids? What should I be looking forward to that I might be missing? What are my goals for my kids when they are 15 years? 20 years? 25 years? (And what am I doing that will lead us there?) Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betwe

Extra-marital affairs can be ruinous to marriage, family, and self-esteem and yet they are familiar parts many storylines. Is it possible to stop them from happening in the first place? In today’s episode Billy and Joy talk about factors that erode our relationship and what we should focus on to keep our marriage strong. Talk about this: How much do we talk about our temptations as a couple? How much do we talk about what concerns us? How can we be better? In what areas might I/we be "eroding?" Is there any practice or mindset that might leave us more exposed to having affairs? Related links: The Art of Manliness podcast #179 The Science of Cheating is excellent although NSFW due to topic. (here) Pornography and broken relationships in Psychology Today (here) Guardrails – Message 3 Forever Yours (here) Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple P

“Believe it or not, you will survive toddler hood.” People may tell you this, but some days it’s hard to believe. In this episode, Billy & Joy go through 20 practical tips for making the most of these very fast (and exhausting) years. Here are the headlines: Know the difference between asking questions versus making statements When you DO give choices (and you should) make sure you are happy with the options Pick your battles (especially over food, clothes, toys) Follow up on threats & promises Customize your discipline Value the time at the dinner table Figure out when you (the parent) are getting a break Get outside No electronics in the car, at the dinner table, or restaurant Practice emotions Have your core value statements in place Ask more questions than you answer Have a thick skin Pay attention fast Build in extra time Practice manners Use your words - keep them positive Remember to play Stay calm Pay attention to your marriage Talk about this: 1 Which of these practices do we feel like we'r

Don’t think about elephants! But what do you think about the moment you read the sentence? Yup… elephants! The mind can’t process negatives so saying, “don’t” doesn’t help. Yet as parents telling our kids “don’t” do something is standard practice. Is it possible to give a more positive vision? Billy and Joy offer some practical ideas in today’s podcast. Talk about this: In what categories of my parenting do I seem to default to the defensive? What are the "better visions" for my kids in the areas where they struggle? What changes in time, schedule, and venues for discussion will help us grab this vision better? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to liste

Have you ever looked at your spouse cross-eyed and wondered, “Why are you like that?” only to meet their family and then understand? In this episode Billy and Joy talk about how our family of origin impacts our marriage and why we need to get this connections out in the open. They discuss triggers and how to build empathy through understanding our background. Talk about this: How do you think your/my childhood home influences our home and marriage... for better or worse? What seems to be a specific tension for us? What tendencies are responses TOWARD upbringing? What tendencies are responses AWAY from upbringing? What is the healthiest way forward for use to address these tensions? What are some good prompts, agreements, or reminders we can use to short-cut the impact of the negative habits? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (

Are you engaged or recently married? Do you know someone who is? Or have you been married for a while and forget all of the helpful newlywed tips? Take a listen as Joy & Billy review 21 quick bits of advice for how to get marriage off to a great start! Spoiler… here’s the list! Go to bed at the same time No device in the bedroom Do unpleasant tasks together Hang out a lot together. (Aim for inefficiency) Create shorthand triggers Nest together Practice your faith together Prioritize community Serve together Observe the 10-to-10 rule Think about “being kind” rather than “being nice” Avoid major cash outlays in the first year Also avoid major new time commitments Have a plan with the in-laws Give yourselves time to grow – pace yourself Commit to NO conversations in your head! But don’t say EVERYthing! Don’t lose yourself Date your spouse Sneakaway with your spouse Assume good intentions Talk about this: If you're a newlywed or engaged, review the ENTIRE list with your spouse/fiance and talk about which ar

Do you know the most important part your kid’s education process? In this week’s podcast Billy & Joy discuss Seth Godin's opinion that the best education focuses on just two things. Listen in and decide if you agree! Seth Godin quote “ Sooner or later parents have to take responsibility for putting their kids into a system that is indebting them and teaching them to be cogs in an economy that doesn’t want cogs anymore. Parents get to decide. I’m a huge fan of public school … But from 3 to 10 those kids are getting homeschooled, and they’re either getting homeschooled watching the Flintstones or they’re getting homeschooled in learning something useful. And I think we need to teach kids two things: one, how to lead, and two, how to solve interesting problems. There are plenty of countries on earth where people are willing to be obedient and work harder for less money than us. So we cannot out-obedience the competition. Therefore we have to out lead or out solve the other people … who want whatever is scarc

What if you had to summarize your life story in a few brief statements – what would you say? Consider the headlines of your life; milestones that rise to the level of being noted. What if you were to reverse engineer your life, how you raise your kids and the way you treat your marriage based on the milestones you want to hit? In today’s episode, Billy and Joy talk through four things to consider for your family's story. Talk about this: First - think about your story - how do you describe the milestones of your life? What do your sentences sound like? NOW - talk to your spouse/friend/small group about the aspirational sentences you want your spouse/kid to say about your life. Think about the categories about how you spent your time, attention, and resources. Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is S

No one likes to be picked at…but criticism is especially deadly in marriage. In this episode Billy & Joy challenge you to try and see your critical habits in the mirror and to consider the impact they have on your marriage. Talk about this: What critique hurts more than others? What critiques feel like personal preferences? What criticisms are good advice, but delivered poorly? What topic/issue is most important to you? How does your wiring impact the way you communicate? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenparents Thanks for liste

The world is a crazy place! Like every generation before, today’s parents have to process difficult news with their kids. But where do we start? What do we say? How can we explain events we don’t fully understand? In today’s podcast, Billy and Joy talk about principles parents should consider as they process current events with their kids. How do we lead our family well - and wisely - when we are emotionally charged ourselves? Talk about this: Are there any "general rules" we violate? How well do we process current events as a family? How can we improve? WHAT seems like it needs processing these days? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you a

Parents are often nervous about talking to their kids about sex. While this is natural, we need to shake off these nerves and jump into the discussion. But where do you begin? In this podcast Billy and Joy give some practical ideas of when to start and what to cover. Talk about this: For each of your kids ask, "What are our family priorities in terms of TIMING - CONTEXT - and CONTENT of what we want our kids to know about sex?" Who are some people we can talk to and ask about their process of guiding their kids through this conversation? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @b

Whether we acknowledge it or not, sex is more than just a physical act. In today’s episode, Billy and Joy discuss nine intimacy principles that impact every relationship and then they tee up a list of questions that should open the flow of communication. Take a listen and, more importantly, have a chat! Talk about this: What eternal factors seem to affect our sex life the most … (schedule, low energy, distractions are a few suggestions)? What are some ideas to manage them? What from our past (individually or together) seems to affects our sex life the most? What are ideas to deal with them in a healthy way? What impact does body image plays into our sex life? With 10 being “best ever” and 1 being “very poor,” how would you rate our communication about the feelings / thoughts regarding our sex life? What are some ways that we can communicate better? What are some things you enjoy most about our sex life? What could I do to help you enjoy it more? Is there something you desire sexually that I can help fulfill?

Writer Stephen Covey said, "The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.'" This is certainly true in marriage as couples often lose what’s best while they do what’s good. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss how marriages often develop ruts and how couples can make changes to keep relationships fresh.  Talk about this: What are your ruts? What do you miss? What do you wish you did more of / less of? What is your plan to jump out of ruts? Related(ish) Links: Table Talk Conversation Starters - here Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents or on Instagram @betweenpa

Our words are powerful, particularly as we use them with our kids. In this episode, Billy & Joy talk through a strategy of how to use words well and how to avoid common pitfalls in our families. They talk about the danger in making comparison statements and how to make statements that will be memorable (in a good way!) Talk about this: In light of where your kids are CURRENTLY... what message do they need most from you? What are some creative ways to deliver that message? What (if any) unintended messages are you most at risk of sending? How do you prevent them? Related link: Elizabeth Smart TED talk is here. Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like AND follow the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun

Did you pick up the dry cleaning? Have you walked the dog? Did you pay the bill? Every day we ask our spouse a list of questions, but most of them don’t impact our relationship. On this episode, Billy and Joy talk about one question that has the ability to improve EVERY relationship. Take a listen and ask your spouse this simple, impactful question! Talk about this: What are your least favorite family chores/activities? What chores feel tedious? How well do we notice when our spouse needs help? AND FINALLY…. How can I help? Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodcast Have you left a review on Apple Podcasts (formerly know as iTunes)? This is SUPER helpful in helping others find our show. Along with Apple Podcasts, Overcast, and Stitcher, Between Parents is now on TuneIn (the fun way to listen if you are using Amazon’s Alexa). You can chat back with us on Twitter @between_parents

Are you stuck in a car? Delayed at an airport? Or maybe you need a few questions to pick up a lagging conversation around the dinner table. Here are some favorite conversation starters.  These questions are perfect for the family (or a date night)! So keep the pause button handy or just refer to the list below. 1. Cast your family in a movie, who is playing each person? 2. Your radio/phone is broken and you can only play one song for a day/week/year what would it be? 3. You are moving to a new city and you have to change your look ENTIRELY - hair, clothes, style- what "look" do you do? 4. What picture do you like best of yourself when you were little? 5. If you could add one person to our family for a year, who would it be? why? 6. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? 7. What makes you happy? 8. Your cat/dog/pet is describing your family to others, what does it say? 9. It's your birthday! You're going to celebrate like a kindergartner - what will you plan? 10. The house is on fire!

In this episode Billy & Joy discuss the fact from the blog post, The Tail End, that points out that by the time you graduate from high school you will have used 93% of the face-to-face time you have with your parents. Feel free to re-read that sentence. Doesn’t that stop you in your tracks? What are the implications to this fact? Get the conversation started with this episode. Talk about this:  How intentional are your priorities? What needs to change? In what moments, environments, and practices does conversation & connection flourish? When and where is it a challenge? Imagine that moment your kids pack up and head to college. What does that moment look and feel like if it is regret-free? Related(ish) Links: Shoe-tossing as per Wikipedia Tim Urban blog post The Tail End Tim Ferriss interview quote. Calendar Countdown apps here. Also remember… We are on Facebook! If you like the page you’ll receive more consistent updates and be able to share episodes with others. Connect with us @BetweenParentsPodca