We Could Have Been Astronauts

The Astronauts deal with the fallout from the Phish show. Melissa is trying to decide what to be for Halloween and Alex sings the praises of female drug dealers.

The Astronauts’ favorite cats return. Melissa learns that 4pm is Alex’s witching hour.  Alex lets the listeners know why he never lies or has explosive diarrhea.

ASTRO EXTRA: The Astronauts wait to be cancelled. Melissa questions Alex’s citizenship while Alex continues to sign legal documents with this enemies' blood.

The Astronauts deliver a very special episode for Alex’s Birthday.  Melissa discovers Funko Pops and Alex celebrates Uncles named Jerry.

The Astronauts delve into top stories of the day and why they don’t matter. Melissa continues storm chasing while Alex mixes alcohol and meds while on a tequila tear.  

The Astronauts have some old man heat wave talk coming your way. Melissa keeps going to funerals and Alex has an aversion to parking lots.

The Astronauts listen to cicadas while earning their explicit label. Melissa has theories on Hollywood “suicides”, and Alex fears ticks, mosquitos and cyber attacks.

The Astronauts wonder who is the most beloved on the show. Melissa’s brain melts when she learns the cast of Eurotrip. Alex changes his name once again and praises the work of one Dave Matthews.

ASTRO EXTRA: The Astronauts really have no thoughts on John Mayer.  We learn Melissa may have grown up in a Dickens Novel and Alex realizes the moment he learned he was adopted.

The Astronauts do a deep dive on the Quaid Dynasty. Melissa goes in search of hard pickle seltzer and Alex pinpoints the exact moment when drugs will finally destroy his brain.

The Astronauts send their love to their fans in India. Melissa can’t handle self-checkout lines and Alex wants America to only have 50 states as he redraws state boundaries.  

The Astronauts tell you what Must See TV really is.  Melissa is still trying to figure out what’s going on in the Middle East and Alex finds something even “better” than the Trump Rambo flag.

The Astronauts plan a world tour. Melissa wonders if cults need to register as an LLC and Alex is all about his new nickname “David Cop-A-Feel”.

The Astronauts figure out the difference between hoagies and grinders. Melissa knows that Santa is immortal and Alex discovers his type of lady.

The Astronauts kick off season 2 with AK 47 fire. Alex believes listeners will save America and Melissa once again lands herself firmly on another watch list. 

The Astronauts may have committed slander and or libel against Andrew Cuomo. Melissa looks into launching an OnlyFans and Alex goes back to school to become a Walmart Pharmacist.

The Astronaut’s watch in awe as James Brown goes off the rails in a 1988 CNN interview.  Melissa is missing bars and Alex fills the listeners in on the etymology of Snoop Dogg’s name.  

The Astronauts ponder their place on the Rainbow Bridge. Melissa questions men’s choices on dating apps and Alex goes against his circadian rhythm.

The Astronauts survive Snowmageddon 2021. Melissa has an accident and Alex continues his confusion between guinea pigs, gerbils and hamsters.

The Astronauts talk recent celebrity deaths. Alex proves himself to be untrustworthy and Melissa remains Aryan Garg’s biggest fan.