We Could Have Been Astronauts

The first part in the season finale, the Astronauts talk of how children truly ruin society. Melissa shame eats an Italian Hoagie and Alex promotes the practice of doing whatever the hell you want.

The Astronauts announce the winner of “Name That Panda” contest.  Alex recounts his biggest life regret on the eve of his 30th Birthday and Melissa is attacked by bats. Join the Astronauts on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group.

The Astronauts let listeners see behind the curtain and talk of a lost episode. Melissa finally realizes why she hates Disney and Alex lets everyone know why they never have to talk to him ever.

The Astronauts may have a line on deep state government secrets. Melissa ventures out to play some mini putt putt and catch The Rona.  Alex lays waste to dating norms and continues to offend both genders.  

The Astronauts revel in some Semisonic. Alex tells us why we are all political chumps and Melissa realizes she needs a midday nap if she ever wants to see last call.

The Astronauts refuse to turn off their cell phones when recording and end up taking calls from Lu Dobbs, who they will be suing, and Rob Kain. Melissa is in a glass case of Montgomery Jones emotion, and Alex reports on Dave Russell’s sick burn on the Facebooks.

It's an Astro Extra! Melissa is back to watching the news and Alex refuses to mic drop.  

The Astronauts really wish they left Earth with SpaceX this week. This episode is what you get when you have a white woman and Hispanic man talk racism. I guess enjoy or maybe open your mind? You can always tell us your feels on the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group.   

The Astronauts picked a hell of a week to not pay attention to the news.  Melissa questions why Facebook will only show her ads for body shapers and Alex says the word sexy an uncomfortable amount of times.

The Astronauts continue their feud with Tipper Gore. Alex talks about his white privilege (because no one told him he’s Guatemalan) and Melissa just wants to eat a sandwich and maybe kill someone.

The Astronauts watch nature go crazy on a Murder Hornet. Melissa decides she will learn Twitter just to troll Tipper Gore and Alex has just about enough of Elon Musk and celebrity stage names.

It's an Astro Extra reminding us all to embrace the small things and maybe not butt chug bleach. 

The Astronauts decide where they should and shouldn’t do drugs. Melissa thinks she’s being visited by either a paranormal Monty or samsquanch and Alex fires in hot with the latest UFO and Cheeto talk.    Join the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group and follow them on Insta @wecouldhavebeenastronauts.

The Astronauts celebrate a very unlikely milestone. Alex erects a shrine to Roy Rogers and Melissa does some Covid dreaming.  Samsquanch erotica also makes its return, enjoy! Join the We Could Have Been Astronauts Facebook Group and follow them on Insta @wecouldhavebeenastronauts.

Astronaut Extra: Melissa & Alex try to figure out how to mow a lawn. They soon give up and pose a challenge to the listening audience.

The Astronauts survive another week of Thunderdome. Melissa has figured out the cure to cancer thanks to alcohol and Alex reminisces about the time the Guatemalan Cartel gave him his birth date. There may be some football talk in there too. Enjoy

In spite of their ongoing audio issues, the Astronauts turn in their most intelligent conversation to date (this just means no dick jokes were told). Alex brings the stats while Melissa delivers the most F bombs in broadcast history.

The Astronauts are back with some iffy sound quality and a Dave Russell mystery.  Alex actually has some sage advice and Melissa learns why she can’t be in quarantine.  

Since it’s the Holidays, the Astronauts tell you what not to talk about during family gatherings. Alex wages a religious war and Melissa goes on a date with a guy with the gouts.