Burgess Love

We're breeding a new kind of cinematic experience. Also, what if the fun COULD stop? There's more: ZONK!, Dad Advice, Thin Lizzy but Censored, Fred Lines, Fool Pants, The Penguin Runs the Tim Horton's, WHAT's more DANGEROUS than ASPARTAME?, Normandy Beach Potato Chips

The Big Goose Industry is back, and it's taken another victim.  Also: There's been a(nother) murder, the Pants Press-Gazette Returns, Old-timey baseballer or Dickens?, and What's More Dangerous than Aspartame?

*static crackles on old TV, then cuts revealing weird evil puppet* Dennis, you've spent your life being a menace...  Other things: We were being gross, What's In Your Glass?, Deadlines, Why didn't we get a trampoline?, What's More Dangerous than Aspartame?, Sleepy cheesecake.

Smokey the Bear left us, and the world is in shambles.  Also featuring: The Concoction, Microplastic Goodness, Andrew Pitches a New Segment, Fire, Fool Pants, What is More Dangerous than Aspartame, and yeah, we comment on Southwest. 

My turtle isn't great with finances.  Other things: Bob Ross Comment Section, Bicycle Shit Bag, Nerf Squirrels, More Diarrhea

All we wanted was a lovely stroll through the park, but instead you gotta call me a pillock.  Other things: They Offer a Wash and Fold Service; How to Make a Good Patty Melt; You're Not Going to Heaven if I'm Not; What Is the Plural of Pillock; SPRING HAS SPRUNGING; I Know What a Grandma Is; Turn the Reverb Up While You're At It

I just didn’t want to have to pay rent anymore. How did I end up here?  Other things: They Are All Inside Bill Murray; A Bird Casino and Potato Salad; A Sweaty Pizza Mess; We Lose All of our Italian Endorsements; Plenty of Other Ways to Poison Your Child

So let's say a murder occurred in your home, and let's say you didn't do it. Or maybe you did. It doesn't matter. What matters is your daughter is a little mad about it.  Other things: We're Sorry, Your New Favorite Pizza-chaini, An Unfinished Patio, The Fahrenheit of Margins, Get Outta Here Feudalism!, The Worst Possible Future

Fluffers challenges you to a steel cage match, and someone's not leaving alive.  Other things: Old, Cold, and a Little Bold; Cowboy Pirates; Hey That's MY Storm Shelter; Opening the Big Heavy Door

My esteemed colleagues, in these difficult times, we can all agree on one thing - it's Turkey Tidbits day, and we're all too hungry to deal with any of this.  Other things: A 7-year-old Scumbag, Andrew's Plan to Exorcise Florida, Valentine's Day Butt Washin's, Please Don't let my Save Status Burn, A Hot Cup of Porridge

Listen, when you purchase a haunted house, this is in the realm of possibilities. This is part of the deal. Other things to talk about: Corn on the COB, No good clowns can come from this, Movie Time with Uncle Pants, FiscRepDramCom, a nice Espressanini in Falmouth, and Fuckin' Nick.

If you're late for strudels, then you don't get any strudels. No exceptions. Other things: System of a Down Watch 2K20, FOOL PANTS with TURKEY STUFF, You Can Do Whatever You Want With You Spaghetti, Lamb Sauce, Rabies the Clown

It's the safest car on the market, and it comes in pink. Thanks dad! Other things: Wet Lawn Furniture, A Subtle Altercation, A Racist Siren, Randomly Generated Bugles,Two C's at the Front, Mini Momcast!, Surrounded by Wolves

I won't go to this gay bar without my T-shirt novel.  Other things: Dads Hate Brunch, Illegally Copying Sousa, Vegan BBQ Surprise, Real Bacon Bits

This time around: It's the scruple of a lifetime, and it involves your sister-in-law, your father, and some other things! Also: At Least We're Consistent, Murphy's Law, It Worked in the Bible, Knocking on Wood Flippantly, Red Pill, Trumpet Hits, and BEES SO MANY BEES.

This time around: It's the scruple of a lifetime, and it involves your sister-in-law, your father, and some other things! Also: At Least We're Consistent, Murphy's Law, It Worked in the Bible, Knocking on Wood Flippantly, Red Pill, Trumpet Hits, and BEES SO MANY BEES.

Let's say you need to procure swords to do battle against your ex. Will the court allow?  Other talking points: Chris Matthews is a Baked Potato, How to be The Cool Mom, Fool Pants with Leprechaun Magic, Very Brown Liquid, Trial by Combat.

How about we just stick to using our mouths to taste things? How about that?  Also up for discussion: Porm, Stronger than a Gorilla?, Eggs in MY Vagina? Flavor Edging, You Read the Latest John Grisham?

Guys, I'm totally gonna fire this guy right before Christmas. I have to.  Other stuff: Fancy Sleeping, Drinking Bug Spray, My Car Exploded, Yeah That's High Fidelity Alright. 

It's Thanksgiving, now give me those dirty, birdy bits.  Also: 7th Heaven Starts an Unfortunate Craze, We're Coming of Age, Turkey Day Un-invite, That Damn Rainbow Connection, Irrational Things that Sting, Why Eat Pie?, The Swanman Cometh