Miserable Retail Slave

Special guest, Cassi (@mixedfeelingspc) from Mixed Feelings Podcast!!!! *blushes*   An all-female football league/ Curious Vanilla Ice/ Ice Boxes/ The Legend of Touchdown Tommy/ Condiments/ Mustard/ Cassi’s Nascar Adventures/ Tommy actually promotes the podcast/ Cassi gets interviewed/ Tom Selleck’s cut-out/ Commemorative Plate talk/ Favorite curse words or phrases/ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles/ TMNT in concert/ Trying to get Splinter to communicate with you/ Michelangelo Cassi vs. Chad/ Randy took nunchuks to school/ The Shredder-Krang bromance/ Krang talk/ Hulk Hogan on the beach/ Hulk Hogan’s fannypack/ When the quality gets weird/ Greek Yoda/ A real Sharknado/ Pick your horror movie icon/ Harnessing Freddy’s friendship/ What would you do if you woke up to find a cat sitting on your chest?/Cassi’s fat cat gets a manicure/ Tommy and Abe Falcon drink absinthe/ Cocaine, the drink/ The Convenience Nurse at work/ A convenient Honey/ The Honey Quota/ Diner terms of endearment/ Clarissa/ Michelangelo is bae/ Ide

A man who faints/ The Convenience Nurse/ Michael “Squints” Palledorous/ The Deadly Dance/ Nosebleeds/ Big Time High School Fights/ Little Mac vs. Bald Bull/ We’re like A Night at the Roxbury/ Running Aarons/ Cardinals/ Condescending Bottle Return Machines/ Tommy has an Honors Degree/ Leslie/ The Regular World 17: You’re Only Hot at Work/ A Money Order Disaster/ Hot Leslie/ Gene’s in Dead Zeppelin/ encouraging fatal flaws/ changing your laugh/how a pimp do/ A bonfire comedian/keep it flowing/ William Shatner vs. Sebastian Bach/ A look back to our first recorded conversation 5 years ago!/ Randy’s ravaged voice/ Sexy time/ Puppy Play/ The Secret Lives of Human Pups/ Online dating/ A saucy tomato/ Those huge oversized glasses/ Internet pheromones/ What are you hiding?/Dating a cyclops/At some point, everyone’s got to become shallow/ Those quirky, beautiful girls/ Two face/ The Ranch Daddy/ Who’s your favorite red head?/ Talking Rams/ Comb your hair/ THE MORTGAGE/Sign Language Facetime/ The Long, Drawn Out Goodbye

Special appearances by TRB from The Retail Rant podcast (@The_Retail_Rant) and Penrose from Grimelords (@PenroseEames). Cameo by Cassi from Mixed Feelings Podcast (@mixedfeelingspc).   Fit as a fiddle/ Randy is the fiddle in the Charlie Daniels Band/ Fat to skinny, ya look weird/ Tommy as a slenderman/ Tommy’s headshot/ Early mornings/ These morning routines/ “Gym Rat” Thompson/ Randy’s 1992 hat style/ Thinking Adam Sandler is funny/ Energy Drinks/ Gas Station Pills/ Hiring a sadist/ Encouraging near death experience for alertness/ Soda Bob/Taking an old MySpace survey/ Terry/ What kitchen utensil would you use to horror movie someone to death?/ Gramma Grim & Machete Mick/ The worst gift that you’ve ever received/ What sea animal would you be reincarnated as?/ Naming a pig/ P*ss On It/ Manager John/ Causing Tommy a tragedy/ Tommy’s alcohol moment/ Grandpa had a lot of Secrets/ Mr. Penrose from Grimelords and TRB from The Retail Rant join the Show!/ The Bambi Randy/ Elevated Angles/ Bobbleheads/ Shoot Your

Jesus' Blog/ Mosquitos on Skee-Doos/ Origin Stories/ Dig Dug/ Randy’s Surreal Weekend/ The Bottom/ Tommy opens for Dave Landau again/ Ghetto Rednecks/ Racist Geese/ Owning The Accountant Horseshoe/ Paper/ A Long Table Full of Drunk Women/ Three Apples Tall/ Tommy is the white Urkel/ Lose Yourself/ “If you wanna hear me do another, buy me a shot”/ Going out with Sober Tommy/ What other people would choose to choke to death on/ Tommy’s rule/ online dating nonsense/ Update on The Fartist/ Randy needs to change his name/ Reseting Tinder/ Rhonda Rolled/ Woof McGilliculty is sniffing around again/ Dating a pregnant girl/ Introducing Jen Morrison/ The Doors/ Peace Frog/ Go suck an egg/ P*ss on It!/ Manager John/ YouTube is ruining the world/ Dan and Phil/ Polos/ Get Debt, Get Humble   Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

A real severe speech impediment/ That blink one eight two/ Letting off steam/ A ‘90s Indie Romance on the bus/ Tommy’s weird dream/ Spider, Leader of The Scorpions/ “Just stay on the ropes and don’t drink too much”/ Randy's choking on deadly meatballs/ Those two times that Randy almost died/ Sour ballz/ If you were going to choke to death on any food, what would you choose?/ Miserable Retail Slave for president 2016/ Attack The Retail Rant/ Friday the 13th/Tommy’s Camel Hump/ Toad the Wet Sprocket!/ More Online dating misadventures/ Getting a dame/The Suicidal Pygmys of South Dakota/ The Fartist/ The Nightlight/ P*ss on It/ Did Me Win?/ Randy vs. Hot Wheels McCraw/ The Cher function on Facebook   (Episode 115)   Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy http://traffic.libsyn.com/miserableretailslave/S04E13._Im_The_Great_Dane.mp3

Against my Best Wishes/ Fast Food drive thrus/ A race against time/ Eyebrow worries/ Randy’s mantra/ Eyebrow Lovers of America/ Tommy wants a hippopotamus tattoo/ finally getting compliments by the world’s worst person/ My Mother, The Car/ Craig T. Nelson/ Tommy watches “Finding Bigfoot” at the gym/Ghost Brothers/ The proof is in the pad thai/ Preferred zombie apocalypse weapon/ Randy wants a crossbow/ Acting crazy in public/ Woof McGillicuty/Woof’s Square haircut/ Missed Connections/ Hose and Heels/ Hot Wheels McCraw   (episode 114)   Theme song: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Portugal/ Never Been Cool/ Tommy’s YouTube karaoke/ So Many Jimmys/ The Dancing Dictator of Portugal/ “Hard Times” by D-Boy/ The Orange Gingers/Tommy’s Monster Squad shirt/ People who walk around carrying coffee/ Tommy and Kid Rock/ My Female Bodyguard/ Vanish her/ TomEComedy vs. TommyComedy/ Mixed Feelings Podcast (@mixedfeelingspc)/ Randy “Babyface” Retail-ioni, Mixed Feelings Mafia/ Picking a horse head/ Mr. Penrose (@PenroseEames)/ Manager John’s message/ Tommy’s hat/ Whatever happened with Woof McGillicuty?/ HAB impression/The Tomb of The Unlaid Soldier/ Beverage/ Dating Mrs. Doubtfire/ The first time that Tommy hit on a girl/ Picking up chicks, right?/ Songs of The Police (Episode 113) Intro: “Hard Times” by Dan “D-Boy” Amboy Check out his music: https://soundcloud.com/dan-amboy

Classic/ Some Mark Twain/ Tommy’s big dilemma/ Monocle/ Facebook addiction/ Passing out high fives/ The Boss/ The band, The Band/ Adam Duritz/ The origin of Tommy the Drummer/ Childhood Toys   (Episode 112)

Special Guests, HAB from The Couch Party Podcast (@Couch_Party), Tom from The Drunken Dork Podcast (@thedrunkendork), and TRB from The Retail Rant (@The_Retail_Rant)!!!!/ Floorburgers/ Don’t worry about my Windows/ Tommy’s defense mechanism/Woof McGilliculty/ Unintentional Online Dating Meetups/ Denim Venom/ A follow-up to the last episode/ Randy messes up/ Louie the Dog update/ Guys named Chad/ Absence Tooth/ James Cameron and Avatar/ Spider-Man: Homecoming/ Checks/ Living in the ‘80s/ Daredevil: Season 2/ Tommy drops a bombshell/ Don’t Trust a man in denim/ Tom Coe is one of the world’s greatest detectives/Tommy drank kerosene Plenty of shout-outs to our friends Grimelords (@GrimeEmpire), Mixed Feelings Podcast (@mixedfeelingspc), Let’s Get Drunk and Talk Comics (@drunkcomicsfans). Check them out!!! (episode 111)  

Special Guests, HAB from The Couch Party Podcast (@Couch_Party), Tom from The Drunken Dork Podcast (@thedrunkendork), and TRB from The Retail Rant (@The_Retail_Rant)!!!!! The Girl with the Pac-Man Tattoo/ Sir Dude/ That Gatorade Bottle Story/ TRB’s Roadside Bathroom story/ Tommy is Venom/ Emergency Napkins/ Louie the Dog/ #LearnFromLouie/ Technical Difficulties and Stories Derailing/ Women are T-shirt tags/ No shorts on stage/ Poems by Pablo Neruda/ More online dating misdaventures/ Wooing an online date via dog puns

Nobody goes home to sleep/ President The Rock/ Tommy has a problem with Stone Cold Steve Austin/ Home Improvement History/ Delivering on our promises/ Pay Phones/ The first CD that you ever bought was/ Doing the Bartman and The Urkel/ Those Verve Pipe lyrics/ sending a Tinder message/Randy plan to frame Tommy/ Tommy the Prison Clown/ Online dating is like a RPG/ Belly buttons are a weird thing/ Autocorrect/ Is It Normal?/ RIP Merle Haggard/ TV Emotions/ Finders Keepers/ Growing up Helicopter/ Saving a stranger from drowning for $6 billion/ Baywatch talk

A significant loss/ Whopper McHambone/ The Tommy Thompson Soundboard/ Tommy’s dog died 20 years ago/ That kid that always got run over/ Ecstatic Gazelles/ The Prune Prowl/ JDate/ The Perfect Beard/ Those oversized sunglasses that these girls wear/ The Walking Dead Season Finale/ Pee Pee Pants City/ Urine Lad/ Celebrity Walking Dead/ Requiem for a Dream/ Nexterine/ Online dating profile pics/ The Helen of Troy of Match/ Mom Bombs/ The Shotgun Marriage App/ Swipe City, USA/ Tommy meets a prostitute/ The missing part of the story about the time Tommy met Kid Rock/ Shout-outs: The Mr. BS Show (@themrbsshow), Now That I’m Older (@ImOlderPC), Let’s Get Drunk and Talk Comics (@drunkcomicsfans) (Episode 108)

Super Mario Analysis/ Cooties/ Jackson Galaxy/ Tommy’s a Semi-Pro/ Carnival Weight Guessers/ Dirty Dez/ Picking your Top 3 Stand-up Comedians/ That time that Randy saw Jerry Seinfeld/ Randy sees his doppelgänger/ Louie CK/ Being over The Walking Dead/ Randy joins Bumble (Episode 104)

Deer/ The Amish Church of Tommy/ Twittel/ Chuckle Soup for the Comedian's Soul/ Tommy ruins a child for life/ Does Tommy have a tail?/ A surprise online dating profile/ Attack Falcon/ A trip/ What happened with the voice message from last week?/ Blowdog sniffs around again/ Using wow in conversations/ The Regular World 16: You Haz Conversations/ No BS/ Online dating jobber/ Dull But Pretty

Combine McGee/ Coffee-nated/ People with more tattoos have better immune systems/ Stitches Get Snitches/ Showing up 1st at a party/Randy wants to invent a new online dating app/ What would John Cusak do?/ Remixing online dating techniques/ Standing Out/ Tommy wants to give Randy a makeover/ Facial Hair Song/ Finding your online dating voice/ Fit to Fat to Fit/ Randy finds a new (and creative?) way to message women on online dating sites/ Cringe?/ The Greyskulls/ Tom Hanks is something/ Madonna songs/ The Message (Episode 102)

The Chronicles of Redic/ Julia Stools/ St. Spuds Mackenzie Day/ Murder Babies/ What happened with 97%/ Counting Crows makes Tommy cry/ Study tells you when you can fart in front of your significant other/Yahoo Answers/ Little Piglet/ Jobs for idiots/Aficionado/ Tommy is Moneyball fat (Episode 101)

EPISODE 100/ Seattle Amanda/ A handfew/ TRB has a serious voice/ Mouth Hugs/ Weird Tommy returns/ Randy has a fit/ More Grampy Jim wisdom/ A very special episode of Fuller House is written/ Chap Stick/ Secrets are told/ HORSESHOES/ Proof that Delaware exists/ Captain America: Civil War trailer and Spider-Man/ That TMNT cartoon that you forgot about/ We write a Hallmark movie/ Big Nose Ben With His Bright Blue Jacket/ Randy's favorite memory of Tommy/ what happened with Snake Eyes, Dirty Diana, and 97%?/ The Regular World 14: Randy is going to get a restraining order/That time Tommy almost got abducted by an alien as a child/The End

The Way All Men Should Walk/ Cool Kids Jeans/ John Wayne doesn’t care for quitters/ The new Ghostbusters trailer/ Slimer was once a living man/ Tommy likes My Girl more than Ghostbusters/ TRB (@The_Retail_Rant) from The Retail Rant podcast!/ Tommy's pee pants/ Tommy's super hero power/ Beethoven/ What happened with the girl from last week?/ menage a nothing/ Snake Eyes 3: The Revenge/ The Regular World 13: The Return of The Return of Snake Eyes/ The Great One's words/ Skinny Guy in a fat man's hat/ Hillary the Clinton/ Tommy's  5 year old haircut/ Senator Tommy/ WTF with Mark Maroon/ The Riding Coattails Comedy Tour/ Most random place you’ve fallen asleep drunk/ The Return of Dirty Diana

Optimism Prime/Tommy's new outlook on life/ Pen Names/ How ballas do/ Tommy gives a history lesson/ Norwegian Woman Hangs Used Condom Collection On Her Wall/ Tommy has a girlfriend in The Regular World/ Seattle Amanda (@mandasaures_rex) calls in for online dating advice and calls Randy "Beige Curtains"/ Cute Picture Ratios/ You’re not Jess from New Girl/ What Would Your Mortal Kombat finisher Be?/ Randy has a talking brain like Krang/ Randy has cracked the online dating code/ Randy’s solid closer/ Mystery and The Pick-up Artist/ "I do know these groups of young magicians"/ The NEW Randy/ Tommy ruins a girl’s spring break/ Amanda gets attacked by Eddie Vedder/Listen to the Rise and Fall of an Arrogant Man in Real Time

Special Guest, Tom (@thedrunkendork) from The Drunken Dork Podcast! / The Shakira Virus/ What a lover Macgyver must’ve been/ Batman v. Macgyver/ TomCoe Tuesdays/ Bill Hicks/ The Worst Idea of All Time podcast/ Thumb fetishes/ Pears/ Panty vending machines/ Offending people on Twitter/ Beejers/ THE TRIVIA CONTEST TO CROWN, KING DORK/ Aunt May tentacle porn/ Explaining Deadpool to someone who knows nothing about comics/ Deathpools/ Ambush Bug?/ More online dating talk/ Mrs Ed, swimming with the dolphins/ These Mellencamps/ The Toms try to help Randy get a date/Party Lines