Miserable Retail Slave

This week: Tommy's scared of lap dances, Ke$ha has sex with a ghost, Pigs gone wild, Danny Bonaduce gets bit in the face, Jesus was my Beiber, Bagel Heads, MSU professor freak out, Looper, Beard Beer, the cuddle shop, Man escapes jail through a food slot, and remote controlled cyborg cockroaches.

This week: Green Day is in a rehab, Billie Joe Armstrong's meltdown. Chris Brown and neck tattoos. Ghosts like pie. Zom-bees. A fella who isn't master of his domain. Dr Um. Epic nurse fail. If it's good enough for Lance Armstrong. Eating Giants. Wednesday Night Alcohol Poisoning. 

This week: We replace "YOLO" and get America's take on Captain America, president. We mourn the passing of Hologram Tupac, hit the Supermanket and discuss the theory of tantric laughter. We ponder why Uncle Jesse got the shaft; Randy vs his arch nemesis, Kevin Costner; and, for some reason, the movie "Ghost." Leave us a review on iTunes!

This week:  A red head named Ginger, the true meaning of labor day, Fat Albert, Tommy's off the wagon and Breaking Bad. Plus, we talk about potential jobs, Honey Boo Boo has a TV show. We share a slice of Americana, talk about boom anime babes, Tom Cruise's wife menu and the teacher of the year. Also, snugglef***s.

This week: Learn about the Businessman's Special, The Nacho Fiasco and The Kiss Cam Incident. We talk about Beached, Hollywood's last original idea, and valuable whale vomit. Plus, Republicans say the darndest things, Superman's ballin' Wonder Woman and Chad Kroeger/Avril maple leaf babies. Also, Neil Armstrong, cyclist. Randy writes a Nicholas Sparks movie. And we ask the hard hitting question: does Wonder Woman shave her legs?

Stealing home/ Update on a girl named Ka/ The banana/ The panic of Shark Week/ Sharktopus is a getaway machine/ The Odd Life of Timothy Green/ The heartbreak of Benji the Hunted/ The Desolate Wasteland of Delaware/ Toddler Fight Club/ Tommy's sober again (for 10 minutes)/ Hank Williams, Jr. vs. Obama/ Dueling Dave Mustaine impressions/ Tommy's going to rehab/ Paul Ryan vs. Rage Against the Machine/ Randy's Rolling Stone magazine rage/ Trap doors, Steel Gates, 3 Headed Dogs/ Carson Daly/ Classy Chick/ Osama role-playing. LEAVE US A REVIEW ON iTUNES!

The worst drunken rendition of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song that you've ever heard// Garfield is a racist // Tommy's misadventures with Ka// Pepe Le Pew loves kitty// Were beavers// Tommy does the Carlton// cursive writing// the next president of the United States, Paul Ryan// Wreck-It Ralph// Awkward Hugs// If you fall, you'll land amongst the stars

So, Arsenio Hall walks into a bar.../ Derek Jeter is Minnie Mantlez/ A real life Jurassic Park?/ Saw: The Cruise/ Finding God thru boots to the face/ Randy and Tommy's Excellent Spring Break Adventure/ J. Go-Levs/ Marking your territory/ Randy drops beats/ Elton John vs. Madonna/ beefcakes = meatloaf/ Don Knots: Nazi Slaying Fish. 

This week Tommy drinks souls; The Dark Knight Rises is a commercial for something else; You should probably call Carly Rae Jepsen; Courtney Love has opinions; Dane Cook is a douche; Pole sports; KStew hates RPat; Sheep lovin'

Audio alert: one of the mics cuts out until the 7:20 mark. So if you wanna skip ahead, that's the place to start. This week: 40 hours of video gaming; the Man of Steel trailer, with 79% more Kevin Costner outrage; the man who lives with goats; Tommy's pal, Bob Dylan; we review Kreayshawn's "Go Hard (La.La.La.)"; RIP Sherman Helmsley; Sherman Helmsley, the singer; the Olympics; how not to be possessed by a demon; Pete Rose and Fred Willard - dirty old men; Kenny Chesney can get you shot; Snoop Lion; and Tommy begins his transformation into Pauly Shore. 

Our first try drinking and recording this episode resulted in good stuff, but audio problems. Our second try resulted in decent stuff and a couple of drunks (one of us is drunker than the other, we'll let you decide which one that is). We talk about Grampy Jim's youthful tales, Serial huggers, more on the Miami face eater, and Marilyn Manson's uterus. Randy schools Tommy on the origin of Kin Kardashian. We review Green Day's new single, "Oh Love." When otters attack, shark bites, women in MMA, and Tommy is a thief. Feed me that face for that lunch I fed you.

This week: Tommy rages against Nicholas Sparks and The Notebook; Souls for sale on ebay; All cats are lost souls; why does Wonder Woman fly like that?; Why does Sebastian the crab want me to get to first base with Ariel?; Soula Coaster; Orange face and sunscreen pills; Dragon Slayer; Joey Chestnut eats a lot of meat; Plushies and Ted; Spider-Man; Justice League; Dave Grohl's drum sticks; Plus, trailer hitch testicles and boob headlights. Enjoy the show, tell a friend to download and leave us a review on iTunes.

Not a great first listen. If this is your first time listening, go listen to Episode 3 or something. Due to audio difficulties and Randy's hangover, this episode is a bit of a mess and shorter than normal. These are a few things we talk about: Helen Keller is better than you / how Magic Mike is unfair / the Air Sex Championships / Bald eagles need to have American flags attached to them / 'Merica! / Hacksaw Jim Duggan / Bee Sting, Flint's resident super hero / Randy, the Jehovah witness. As always, tell your friends to download (just not this ep) and leave us a review on iTunes (not based on this ep)

This week, we talk about Rock of Ages. Tommy wants to become a drifter and is ashamed of his round, melon head. RFP puts forth his hopes for a Kenny Loggins vault of unreleased music. Steven Seagal's poo pants, summer nights filled with Baywatch and zombie proof cars. Plus, Tommy gets name-dropped by a much bigger podcast. Download and leave us a review on iTunes. PLEASE!

This episode: March of the Perverse Penguins, Hologram Woodstock, and the "Everybody Hates Us" rock tour. Also, Tommy gives out his phone number and mistakes Paula Cole for Chris Isaak. Plus, we talk about Twitter, discuss the importance of your Street Fighter II character, imagine what Scott Stapp is like in rehab, decide that the Wizard of Oz is a metaphor for purgatory, and marvel at the manliness of old action heroes. We touch on Ridley Scott, Alien, and Prometheus and bring up Alex Trebeck and Tom Selleck's magic mustaches. Hold these bananas!

This week: Heli-cat, the flying cat carcass! Synchronized tennis grunting! Road House! Patrick Swayze vs. Slyvester Stallone! Say Anything disasters! Tommy gets a respect point! The 2-year boner! Winnie Cooper! A love song countdown! Join Randy and Tommy with Uncle Jesse on the drums for this week's rad episode. Find out why we are the ones who knock.

This week we talk about all of the face-eating, entrails-tossing WTF news you can handle. Kevin Costner's a S.O.B. Tommy ruins American Horror Story and has a fever for more cowbell. Better city: Chicago vs. NYC. Walken and Donald Duck impressions abound. Plus: the Definitive Duck List, sheet ghosts, gay Green Lantern, zombie plans, plonkers, and the GNR 'Patience' challenge. Our Kool-Aid is better than your Kool-Aid. Download, listen, leave us a review, and tell a friend.

This week: teenagers are eating fingers, nerds evolve, the Avengers hate adoptions, and George Lucas pulls a d*** move. Co-host Tommy is a Jonah Hill/Napoleon Dynamite mutant combo and doesn't know the difference between Breakfast at Tiffany's/The Breakfast Club AND Fried Green Tomatoes/Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Plus, RFP is afraid of sharks and doesn't believe in the "3 Men and a Baby" Ghost. You ain't going to sink my battleship, no way. Download, listen, leave us a review. Tell a friend to do the same.

In our inaugural episode, RFP and the worst comedian ever, Tom E. Thompson, talk about being a pair of Tubthumpers, Call Me Maybe, Liam Neeson's saucy tales of wolf love, celebrity holograms (like Tupac and Freddie Mercury), Against Me!, "Call Me Maybe" is ear cocaine, and the best drunk driving story ever. Plus, Tommy is the only person in the world that hated The Avengers. Download, enjoy, and tell your friends to do the same.