Between Parents

Have your kids ever clammed up when you ask them questions? Do you feel like it’s been ages since you’ve heard more than a one-word answer? Perhaps there’s a better way to chat with our kids. In this episode we discuss five principles for starting great conversations. 1st PRINCIPLE: Question for interest - If it’s important to your kids, it should be important to you. 2nd PRINCIPLE: Question for stories – bring out the storyteller in your child 3rd PRINCIPLE: Question for the long view – anchoring your kid to family identity 4th PRINCIPLE: Question for insight - checking your child’s gauges 5th PRINCIPLE: Question for opinion – learning what your kid really thinks   Talk about this: What are the most common questions you ask your kids? Do they reflect your values? Which of the five principles do you need to incorporate into your repertoire? How can you remember to ask better questions? Related links: Mike Birbiglia asks Obama for baby advice here Episode #37 - Creating A Family Identity Episode # 41 - 21 Co

Have you ever been put into a tailspin by a challenging day? What parent isn’t sometimes discouraged by the rigors of raising kids? Today’s episode has five nuggets of encouragement you need to keep in mind. Remember – you are doing a great work!! Talk about this: If you're feeling discouraged, we want to encourage you to share what's going on with your spouse and others in your circle of influence. Also share which truth was most encouraging to you. Related links: Episode #97 Asking for Forgiveness Text for Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Finally, if you don’t know where to begin listening to back episodes of the podcast, look for the helpful packages on our website betweenparentspodcast.com Thanks for being awesome!

Has your spouse ever hurt you? Or have you ever done anything to hurt your spouse? No matter how great your marriage, there will be times where forgiveness is required. But even when you recognize this as true, the actual FORGIVING isn’t easy. In this episode we discuss not only why you should forgive your spouse but some practical ways to build a habit of forgiveness. Talk about this: This week we don't have questions for you so much as we want you to PRACTICE the last point of the podcast* which is to go to your spouse with anything YOU have done and ask for forgiveness - receive it well - then PRACTICE letting go! (*Note – this might not make sense if you’re reading these notes before listening to the podcast, so go listen!)   Related links: Benefits of forgiveness articles HERE and HERE (use google for a whole bunch more!) Episode #60 – What To Do When Spouses Annoy Episode #11 -The Awkward Date Night Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @be

School days are right around the corner, which often feels like a blessing, but can also feel like a curse. So how do you make the most of the school year? Today’s episode is a great place to start with eight reminders for every family with school-aged children! Talk about this: Which item on this list feels like a challenge for us? What’s our plan for encouraging our child’s teacher? Related Links: Episode #66 – Picking Schools For Your Kids An additional article on enjoying school here Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

There are plenty of word pictures that work for describing a great relationship, but one of the most memorable ones we’ve ever heard is seeing marriage as a team sport. In this episode, Billy and Joy break down five ways treating your spouse like a teammate can be a game changer. Talk about this: How well do we function as a team? What areas need our attention? What do you feel are your unique talents and where would you like to see my support? When do you feel like I celebrate you well? And where can I do better? Related Links:The Awkward Date Night - Episode #11 The Awkward Date Night Blog Post Also remember:We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Do you ever wonder how your parenting ranks? Do you evaluate your mother/father “job performance” relative to others? Do you ever question how others are so pulled together while you struggle? These questions are easy to consider, but pull us off track of what matters. In this week’s podcast Billy and Joy review a couple of mental exercises and a few habit that will help kick the parent intimidation trap. Talk about this: Where do we have a limited mindset? How easy is it for me to be vulnerable with others? Who are my “people?” Who can I celebrate TODAY? Stop everything and shoot a text RIGHT NOW! Where do I need to replace lies with truth? Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Today’s podcast is an exercise in vulnerability. We often say we are flawed and broken parents, but today we get specific! We hope you’ll relate as we discuss themes that creep up repeatedly in our family and inspire you to dig up your themes as well! Talk about this: Get out a pad of paper and write down your parenting flaws and/or themes. How do those flaws impact your parenting? Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

We had so much fun in Episode #91 going through your parenting questions, we decided to address some of the personal and/or bite sized inquires on marriage this week. We love hearing from you and hope our input on these questions is helpful! What has been the toughest season for you as a couple? What is a piece of advice for couples married 5 to 10 years? What is the “secret sauce” for a good marriage? (Don’t give me a marriage book answer.) You talk about community alot - but what do you do when you aren’t part of a church? Or when your spouse doesn’t want to “connect with others? What do you think most newlyweds erroneously assume? Related Links: Episode # 44 - Getting Unstuck From Marriage Ruts Episode #51 – 21 Bits of Advice for Newlyweds Episode #11 – The Awkward Date Night Episode # 7 – Don’t Do Life Alone Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this co

As much as we try to address the assorted questions lobbed our way, sometimes we lag with the personal and/or bite-sized inquires. In today’s episode we are solving that problem with a handful of random, but hopefully helpful, questions you guys ask. Take a listen and, by all means, keep asking! What do you say to a discouraged parent? What is something new you’ve learned? Where do you learn? Which is harder… the toddler years or the teenage years? How are you most “weird” as a family? Related Links: Episode # 8 – Is this really just a stage?  Episode # 2 - A Warning About Parent Measurement Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on Instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

You’re going to be a grandparent. Congratulations! This should be easy, like Parenting 2.0, right? Not so fast. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the tension filled moments between expectant parents and grandparents. They have compiled a list of best practices and ways to avoid the most common relationship pitfalls. Talk about this: Grandparents – process the topics discussed on the podcast that you haven’t reviewed already. Remember to get clarity about delivery and home visits and ask about their strategies. Parents – make sure your have clarity on your hopes for the delivery and homecoming process and be ready to answer the question “how can I help?” Related Links: Defining your family story – podcast HERE Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

Have you ever noticed how often friendships drift apart after people get married? Why is this a consistent pattern? Why don’t friends stick around after the “I do” is said? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefit of having a diverse circle of friends whether you’re married or single. Take a listen! Talk about this: How well are we cultivating friendships with people who have a different marital status? What "benefits" seem most applicable to our lives? What "bad behavior" are we most likely to indulge? Related Links: Nearly & Newly Podcast Package HERE Say Goodbye to Hollywood HERE Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome!

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow."  - Brene Brown Wouldn’t it be great to be fully known and fully accepted? Isn’t that what love is all about? Isn’t it the ideal for marriage? Well, this kind of love doesn’t happen without a serious dose of vulnerability! So how do we build this habit into our relationships? That’s the topic of today’s podcast. Take a listen! Talk about this: How well do you think we do on the vulnerability continuum? When do you feel most safe to describe your feelings? What makes you feel like I have listened well to you? Related Links: Episode #84 - Getting to the bottom of disagreements Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While

Have you noticed how many kids suffer from anxiety these days? Therapists are alarmed by the trend, experts can’t agree on the causes, and parents live with the threat daily. In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the probable causes of anxiety and leave you with some practical questions to consider as you raise your kids. Talk about this: What do we model in terms of our anxiety levels? Do we fret? Are we "worriers?" Do we operate from a place of fear? Are there fear and anxiety issues you need to deal with yourself? What is our plan for ensuring our kids have a robust community? Do we help them process the tension in the comparison game? Do we encourage competition and achievement or elevate the higher value of relationships? We have to ask ourselves, what's the price of striving in our families? What would happen if we made it our AMBITION to lead quiet (er) lives? Related Links A sobering look from the NYTimes Magazine...HERE  Lisa Damour’s book describes how anxiety impacts girls in her practice in her te

Even though we know it’s important to have dinner together, after hustling the family to the table, it’s exhausting to guide a meaningful conversation. Where do you start? Who has the energy to form a strategy? In this episode Billy and Joy jump-start the process with a structure and 60 questions (pdf attached) so you can make your time around the table meaningful. Take a listen! Related Links 8 Strategies For Getting Your Family Around The Table Family Stories That Bind Us - NYT The Secrets of Happy Families Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Do you ever lose your cool? Have you ever felt like you have one nerve left and everyone is standing on it? If you’re like us, it’s easy to react to people and circumstances reflexively – to give full range to impatience, frustration, or anger. In this episode Billy and Joy kick around the idea of responding rather than reacting to the things that bug us. Take a listen and form some of your own opinions about their opinions! Talk about this: How often do I react to my kids versus respond to them? What "Pause Phrases" can I use? (Practice them!) What circumstances do I need to imagine in advance? Where do I struggle to "assume good intentions?" Related-ish Links Malaphor examples Getting to the bottom of disagreements – Episode #84 HERE Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Have you ever found yourself arguing with your spouse about little things? Do you feel compelled to fight about your opinions or refuse to let go of insignificant slights? Every couple has their share of arguments, but they don’t need to turn into relationship-busting warfare. In this episode, Billy and Joy offer a word picture for getting to the bottom of disagreements and hopefully give you something meaningful to discuss. Take a listen! Talk about this: On average, how many of our disagreements are dealing in “ground floor” material? What can we do to better dig around in “ground floor” material? What is most difficult for you in teaching your ground floor material to your spouse and/or in learning about their ground floor? Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

How can you be sure if your kids are ready for new responsibilities? Are there risks involved when you over or under nurture them? How do you give more freedom to your kids? Tackling these questions (plus a few more!). Take a listen! Talk about this: What is your tendency – to over or under nurture your kids? In what ways do you need to pivot or correct? How well do you balance between encouraging your kids to be independent versus demanding they need to hit an adult standard or quality? In what ways can you leave more room for your kids to grow in their ability to be more independent?  Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Are you excited about your kids being out of school this summer? Or does the summer schedule wreak havoc on your family life?  Even though it feels like we have barely defrosted from winter, the days of grilling, swimming, and sunscreen will be here before you know it. If you’re like many parents, the change of routine has its blessings and curses. On this episode Billy and Joy give some practical tips for making summer fun with just a little bit of effort. Have a listen!  Also remember: We love hearing from you. Reach out on the socials @betweenparents on instagram and @betweenparentspodcast on Facebook. While you’re there, tag someone who would also enjoy this content! Thanks for being awesome…

Have you ever felt like your kids aren’t grateful for what they have or what they experience? Do you ever feel like they live with a distasteful attitude of demandingness? Perhaps you see this tendency in yourself? In this episode Billy and Joy discuss the benefits of having an attitude of gratitude and some practical ways to build the habit of thankfulness in your family.  Talk about this: How well do I (personally) communicate gratitude? and how well is our family overall at cultivating attitudes of gratitude? Where are your family "pinch points?" What parts of our family environment need to look different and what habits do we need to cultivate? Related-ish Links Episode #17 – Creating a Plan For Money & Allowance With Your Kids  Do guys or girls make better sound effects? Check out the video HERE  

What if what you believe about marriage is a lie? Would you want to know the truth in advance? In today’s episode Billy and Joy step through 10 common lies about marriage. Perhaps we should issue a #spoileralert Talk about this: Which lies are we most susceptible to believe? Depending on your answer, have MORE conversations about those topics! For marriage veterans, which lies did we miss? Related-ish links: In case you want the same toilet paper as Beyonce… shop Renova here. Both quotes from this episode come from Tim Keller’s book, The Meaning of Marriage We mention several back episodes of Between Parents #35 – Four Terrible (But Really Romantic) Marriage Thoughts  #45 - Let's Talk About Sex: Marriage Edition #7 – Don’t Do Life Alone Also remember: Check out our new website @betweenparentspodcast.com Also, tag someone who you think would like this episode on one of the socials! Or leave a review! It’s an easy way to invest in others and we really appreciate the support! You can find us @betweenparents