Compulsive Overeating Diary

I take a bonus walk to clear my head. The Alien Robots attack my mind all weekend with self-criticism and visions of chips making my bad back all better. Valiantly, I overcome their taunts thanks to encouragement from Brave Companions Sue, Anne, Jodi, Danielle, Abby, and Janet . I give you an unflinching glimpse into the battle despite fearing to once again, come off as pathetic. As I finally return to walking, -er hobbling, with my cane around the park after my weekend of severe back trouble, I ponder the difference between fact and what those pesky robot aliens have to say. Josh Woodward says, 'Thanks' for supporting his Kickstarter campaign.

A sudden bad back forces me to practice getting over "Why Me?" as I hobble around Descanso Gardens. Michelle McKinney's comment makes me think about "Why me?" striking at parties and how we might nip that feeling in the bud before the Robot Aliens can attack! Long time listener, Michelle shares what it was like to be on the show via the bravery hotline and leaves a detailed comment about Binge Extinction from her ongoing therapy. Shout-outs to new listener, Sunshine and to returning, commenter, Stéfanie from Canada.

Our 20th anniversary trip inspires me to ponder how 'all or nothing' thinking has screwed me in the past and to celebrate our improvement in getting off of that roller coaster. A Whoppin' Big Bravery shout-out goes to Michelle for courageously calling the bravery hotline and thanks to Sue and Cheryl for welcoming new listener, Heather and new Spark People team member, Christina.

An email comment by new listener, Marie, triggers me to ponder the whole topic of being authentic and how that can impact our relationships. Shout-outs also go to Nancy, Sandy and Janet. I recommend a great podcast interview done by Alen Standish, of Quit Binge Eating, with Michelle Cleary that I listened to on my way up the trail. I remind the brave companions that my 20th anniversary is coming up and so the podcast will have a larger gap than usual before the next episode.

Bonus walk and talk! I reflect on the 13 weeks I've been doing this experiment -- the ups, the downs, the lessons this ever winding path has taught me thus far. I update you on my schedule, weight, a great podcast you can listen to, and muse about the nature of cravings and why we need to look to ourselves to feel good in our own skin.

How can we expect to process all of these heavy 'Aha' moments? Also, stories and thoughts about therapy from Sue, Cheryl and me. Shout-outs to new brave companion, Sharon and our third companion named Michelle, Michelle Mckinney. Steven and Abby are recognized on our new bravery report and I thank Jodi for being supportive on Facebook during my massive cleaning project. I read our original Michelle's entire comment about her experience with a therapist who specializes in eating issues.

Chaos is on my mind, triggered by a pair of comments by brave companions, Sandy and Cheryl. I discover one of the reasons I sabotage myself after reading a heartfelt post by Abby followed by a snippet from our brave Michelle about seeking therapy. I tell about our new 'Who are the brave companions?' page on CompulsiveOvereatingDiary.com and share my experience with Tumblr.

It's all about telling our truth and why we feel so gosh darn apologetic. I read an email from Steven who shares his My Fitness Pal ID, a true and brave comment from our newest brave companion, Michelle, and a heartfelt comment from my long-time friend, Cheryl, that triggers my musing at my Upper Zen Spot. Shout-outs too, to Sandy, Cherry, and my Local Brave Companion FB buddy who left a 5-star iTunes review.

Shout-outs to Abby for her fine review on iTunes, Sandy for her brave support of listener, Gracie, and Cheryl, Abby and Sue for joining and participating in our new Spark People Team for Brave Companions. I talk about my new Compulsive Overeating Diary channel on YouTube and my 30 minute video bike ride that you can see there. Finally, a comments conversation between Sue, Cheryl and me sparks me to think how clutter, overspending and overeating might all be related.

On Easter, I think about renewal and other lessons I've learned from my brave companions and from reading the fabulous book, Kendra and Maddy recommended, Eating In the Light of the Moon. Abby's comment wakes me up to gratitude for my husband and shines a light on my perfect perfectionism. I discuss music, old school, and we hear from Kendra herself, via Speakpipe, as she shares a good tip to possibly improve my nutrition.

I lend my cat's name to a private listener who wants our input about how to balance recovering from anorexia with losing weight after some bouts with binge eating in her recovery. I also remember my life and finally discover what I was born to do. Today was a true gift of Grace.

As rebel Laurie, I learn a ton about myself as I share a story about a crummy cat-chore I assigned to myself and how it triggered overeating. Also, emails from brave companions Kendra and Stefano, and highlighted features from compulsiveovereatingdiary.com

From a foggy mountain top, I give you a glimpse inside of my pissy mood from yesterday where I learn a lot about myself from comments left on day 32 by new brave companion, Jerry, and by long term, faithful companion, Sue. I also face one of my biggest fears and sing a song I wrote at age 8.

Despite feeling fantastic after recording episode 31, the Space Alien Robots attack in an epic battle. Learn what happened, and how I claimed at least partial victory due to the tips, you, the brave companions, sent last time. Also, shout-outs to new listener, Steven, and a special birthday surprise for Sandy.

Brave companions Michelle, Janet and Sandy all step up to the plate and give great tips to Maureen, and the rest of us, for dealing with emotions that may drive our eating. Sandy shares on the Bravery Hotline about a sad situation and how she's trying to cope. New listener Sue's comment sparks me to create a segment all about why the scale is not to be trusted. Also featured are other ways to send audio to the podcast and let your voice be heard.

Unexpectedly, a dream of mine comes true, so I unexpectedly record a bonus episode about it, and then, I discuss an equally unexpected food trigger.

Brave Companion, Stéfanie, leaves a wonderful comment on Day 27 that sparks me to discuss why we should not wait for 'perfect' to reach out to others, or to reach out for our dreams. I share my adventure of meeting Listener Sandy in person, and ask all of our brave companions to help support Maureen in her quest to know, 'How do YOU deal with the feelings under compulsive overeating?'

Listener Sandy screws her courage to the sticking place and calls the Bravery Hotline to give us some great tips and thoughts about perfectionism and how to treat ourselves kindly. I keep my promise to post my bikini photo, and this triggers me to share my emotional story about how disappointed I was in this result. Now? I would wear this bikini in public if I looked like this. Expectations can trigger unfounded disappointment and I muse about how we can combat this.

During a fantastic morning hike, I relate my gratitude for episode 26's power to stop my binge. I also wax poetic about the ups and downs of weight, compulsion, and how we might become more accepting and peaceful with our bodies.

Mortified that I mixed up Canadian listener, Kendra, with New Englander listener, Maddy, during last episode's walk in Descanso, I make good on my promise to deliver a sunny walk for winter-bound, Kendra by strolling through the charming shopping district of Montrose, California. Then, struck by my feelings of discomfort over the matter, decide to find a nice, quiet spot to podcast about perfectionism. Instead, you get the ring-side seat to the beginnings of a true binge based in frustration, finished off by how I outsmarted those frackin Robot Aliens this time.