Harness Your Adhd Power

How often do you do the prep work for your tasks?  Do you know what I mean by prep work?  Most people I know really dislike the prep work and just want to get down to doing the task.  They even feel that the prep work is a waste of their time because it isn’t getting the job done.  And, they are short on time as it is, so this is just a non-essential thing to do.  But is it really?  Everything in life needs prep work and maintenance.  If you are the cook in your family or home, you need to prep the meal before you can make it and then eat it.  If you are going to work on an art project, you need to prep and make sure you have all the supplies you need for your project before you embark or you’ll be running out to the store or aborting the project when you find out that you don’t have what you need.  What about leading a meeting at work?  Do you just show up and talk, or do you need to prep for the meeting so you stay on topic for the purpose of the meeting and are clear on what you will present?  Like I said

Do you have the blueprints to build a new model of yourself?  One of my favorite quotes is by Buckminster Fuller, who said, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”  Thinking along the same lines as Fuller, I realized years ago that with so much that happens on our journey from birth to adulthood, unless we build a new model of ourselves and then move into that new model, we will be fighting the existing reality and model of our earlier life and selves forever, and trying to “fix” the dysfunctional, rather than create anew.  If changing the outcomes in your life was as easy as learning some new skills or moving to a new place to start over again, then everyone who does it that way would be happy with their new outcomes.  It doesn’t work that way.  Wherever you go, there you are.  You are taking the existing model of who you have become up to now and attempting to shove new tools into that existing, dysfunctiona

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria or RSD is a hot topic these days.  It is one manifestation of emotional dysregulation, which is a common but misunderstood and under-researched symptom of ADHD in adults.  Individuals with RSD feel unbearable pain (physical and emotional) as a result of actual or perceived rejection, teasing, or criticism.  And, this symptom is not alleviated with cognitive or dialectical behavior therapy.  I’ve read that this symptom is attributed to a different brain structure, a sensitivity that is different than just being a highly sensitive person, and as with the treatment of ADHD itself, medications such as ADHD medications or antidepressants are often given in the hopes that they will lessen the pain.    A significant percentage of adults never find any effective ways to manage or cope with the pain.  So, what do adults do when they are in unbearable pain?  What comes to mind is self-medicate the pain so they can at least do what needs doing in their life.  This could be drink, drug, sp

I often hear from many accomplished adults that they feel like imposters.  They have been able to hold things together and advance in their career, yet the toll on them is huge.  They have created workarounds to get the job done but fear being found out.  Work takes so much time and leaves little if any time for pursuing their dreams, hobbies or even cherished time with family and friends.  Over time, their self-confidence and happiness has disappeared.  Enter… imposter syndrome.    In order to feel confident, you need to be competent in those areas of life you created workarounds for.  In other words, competence  confidence.    Many adults ramble when they speak.  I used to.  I didn’t have a target; I just started talking and hoped I would make sense to those listening if I just said enough.  To ramble on is to speak or write at length and with many digressions, such as rambling on for a couple of hours and your listeners become restless.  Rambling uses up a lot of time, effort and energy – whether talking

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what is commonly believed to be the process we adults need to go through if we suspect ADHD.  That process takes time and money.  And depending on what part of the world you live in, your access to a specialist may be limited.  For that reason or others, many adults are self-diagnosing these days.  Some are questioning what having an official diagnosis will give them that a self-diagnosis won’t.  The answer to that question is simple – potentially a lot of valuable information beyond just ADHD since by the time you are an adult, ADHD typically doesn’t occur by itself.  There could be depression, anxiety, codependency, addictions, learning differences or challenges, Irlen syndrome, underdeveloped executive function skills, sensory challenges and more.  Medication may be appropriate for some of these additional conditions as well as for ADHD if the main ADHD challenges are inattention, hyperactivity and/or impulsivity.  If the main challenges are executive function skill cha

This episode is a little different than most.  It’s kind of a public service announcement - a message in the public interest that is meant to raise awareness about an important issue and change behavior.  This episode is dedicated to you, my listeners. The topic was inspired by a few emails I received this week, and they brought back the strong feelings I have about what I have been called to do and why I continue to pour my heart and soul into this calling.  Every day someone emails me with information about their challenges, how hard their life is, and the help they are looking for. This worldwide pain and suffering must stop!  I know I talk about executive function skills a lot and point to them as the solution – and that is because they are.  The multitude of symptoms that you all are experiencing are coming from your underdeveloped EF skills and pre-skills plus your limiting beliefs and your outdated identities, and typically a mixture of all of this.  I say this with absolute conviction of this truth...

Whether you are dating, are in a committed relationship, living together or married, your well-developed Executive Function Skills make a difference in many aspects of your relational life.  And, even though I focus on helping you develop your Executive Function Skills for yourself, that does not mean that their development isn’t essential for a healthier and happier marriage.  Let me explain.  When we enter a relationship, we bring whoever we are and whatever is part of us with us.  If there is depression or anxiety or ADHD or an addiction or trauma or other issues, they come with us.  We are each an entity unto ourselves and a third entity is created when we come together, which is the relationship or marriage.  In order to maximize the opportunity for the best of ourselves to be what creates the relationship, we need well-developed Executive Function Skills... Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, fin

Desmond Tutu once wisely said that “there is only one way to eat an elephant: a bite at a time.” What he meant by this is that everything in life that seems daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible can be accomplished gradually by taking on just a little at a time. Robert Maurer, Ph.D. tells us in his book, “One Small Step Can Change Your Life – The Kaizen Way” that small steps bypass your brain’s built-in resistance to new behavior. Kaizen means improvement and moreover it means continuing improvement in personal life, home life, social life and working life. With one small step or 15-minutes a day every day, your brain doesn’t react as if it’s a threat but rather it’s more like saying that you can’t possibly achieve much with just one small step or just 15-minutes a day and the truth is you can if you are consistent every day with your 15-minutes or one small step. Yes, this way of life every day can change your life in big ways over time...  Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your li

Procrastination is simply the act of delaying or postponing something; nothing more. Most people think of procrastinating as a negative thing. We procrastinate on filing our taxes, paying our bills, keeping our homes tidy, returning phone messages and responding to important emails. We even procrastinate on making plans for our summer vacations. These are all just the act of delaying or postponing something; nothing more. It’s just a behavior. And, we can use this behavior for good or harm; it’s up to us. Most use it for harm. The issue isn’t really about procrastinating – the act of delaying or postponing something – it is about when we do it and why. If you are a procrastinator, do you procrastinate at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of a task or project? And, is the reason for your procrastination because you are missing information you need to start or continue or finish up? Or, is it because you can’t get yourself to take action on things when you need to be taking action? You know what you n

Hi Aspiring Achievers,  There is a serious, widespread problem with the educational requirements in the mental health field.  Most professionals are studying the same outdated information about ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, Trauma and Addictions in preparation for licensure. They aren’t studying what happens to your executive function development because of those conditions.  The most common treatment recommended for adults with ADHD is medication, and the same is true for Depression and Anxiety.  Unfortunately, medication alone isn’t the best solution, and for many of you, it isn’t a good option at all.  Many of your life experiences pull the energy that is supposed to be going into the development of your executive function skills and channel it elsewhere.  This could have led to the diagnosis of depression, anxiety, trauma, addictions, chronic illnesses as well as ADHD.  So, no matter what diagnoses you have collected along the way, there are no skills in pills, and we need to focus on developing our executi

Toxic shame is a killer. It’s an internal message that tells you that you are defective, bad, wrong, and not valuable. Toxic shame isn’t personal; it’s like poison. It doesn’t matter who gives you the poison or who does the shaming, either one will eat away at you and take you down. And, when shame comes flooding in and causes us to retreat into ourselves, our transformation is put on hold while we navigate the toxic shame. Shame and guilt are different: Guilt tells me that I made a mistake. Shame tells me that I am a mistake. I definitely used to feel a lot of shame and wanted to erase myself from life. Over time, I learned how to change my mindset and develop the skills to eliminate the hold that shame had over me. Now, my life’s work is to pull others out of that same dark place and into a calm and competent life by sharing the exact roadmap I followed. Episode Resources: The Transformation Club – A unique membership that helps adults with underdeveloped Executive Function skills (with or without ADHD) in

Executive function skills are important for us to function well as an adult, whether this means raising children, running a household, working for a company or ourselves, or being in healthy relationships. These skills are necessary so that we can get things done and not be in a constant state of overwhelm or frustration because we can't keep up with our adult responsibilities. We all need to be competent in Executive Function skills in order to feel confident in our adult life. In this podcast episode, Dr B talks about: The importance of developing your Executive Function skills Some examples of underdeveloped Executive Function skills Adult ADHD symptoms and diagnosis A brand new way you can work with Dr B for less than $1 a day    Episode Resources: The Transformation Club – A unique membership that helps adults with underdeveloped Executive Function skills (with or without ADHD) increase competence in days without overwhelm, moral judgements, or self-doubt so they can feel calm and in control. CLICK HE

Hi Aspiring Achievers! Do you have any or all of the following challenges? Limiting beliefs that hold you back and make it impossible for you to succeed? An outdated sense of yourself or identity that is a limited version of you; not a version that is able to move forward with confidence and conviction? A disempowering relationship with time, where you find it difficult to manage yourself within the time you have? An ongoing struggle with procrastination, where you can’t seem to eliminate it from your work and personal lives? A difficult time trusting yourself or your decisions, where you are regularly filled with self-doubt in personal or professional situations? If you're like most of my listeners, then yes, you may struggle with these challenges! Since I am all about eliminating obstacles by creating solutions, we just created a new opportunity – The Transformation Club – where you can work with me now on all the pre-skills taught in the first part of the AIA-FS program - while you plan your finances and

In this podcast episode, Dr B answers the question from Christine in Florida: "Does Codependency often play a role in executive function deficit?"   Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering.    Episode Resources: First, get your copy of 13 Signs Weak Executive Functioning is Holding You Back:  https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/Executive-Function Next, find out what you can do to change this for yourself and how AIA-FS can help you: https://www.drbarbaracohen.com/AIA

In this episode, we're doing something a little different. I was on a call a few days back with a couple of my team members. And I realized that that conversation would make a great mini podcast that I wanted to share with you my listener, because it's how I feel about the work that I'm honored to do with you, and why it matters so much to me. So, here's a brief bit of that conversation. Enjoy. Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering.   Episode Resources: First, get

What if we're doing it all backwards and wrong? People start identifying that they have ADHD and they want to fix it.  Or people start identifying they have underdeveloped executive function skills and they want to fix it.  And everything is oriented towards fixing something that's deemed to be broken. But what if it's not broken?  What if what we're identifying is the cause; the underlying cause?  And let's say it's underdeveloped executive function skills.  The effect is everything we're seeing in life – all the challenges and chaos.   Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses. And, you don't need a formal diagn

There’s a difference between what you say you want and what you say you intend to have.  One is “desire” and the other is “it will happen.”  When we set our intention, we are willing to go to any lengths for it to happen.  We are willing to become a better or upgraded version of ourselves; to take with us the best of who we are and leave the rest behind.  Are you willing to go to any lengths?  I wasn’t 40 years ago and I learned in codependency recovery that I would need to be willing to go to any lengths so what I intended for myself would occur.  Some 35+ years ago that meant eliminating everything non-essential from my life and focusing on my recovery from codependency or else I was going to die.  I went from no recovery work to 9 meetings a week for my first year.  I learned that half measures availed us nothing.  Not half results, but nothing!  No results!  And that if I wanted to experience the miracles that recovery offers, I needed to be all in – 100%.  So, have you been “all in” on anything in your l

Let’s jump straight to what’s important here.  You definitely need certain capabilities to succeed in life.  These capabilities help you to get and keep a job, provide appropriate care for children, manage a household and contribute meaningfully to your community.  They also enable you having a satisfying personal life with whatever is most important to you.  And based on what you are sharing with me when you complete the Information List form, you are in desperate need of the EF skills to be able to perform the basics of adult life.  I’m not talking about anything fancy here; just the basics.  So many of you are stressed, overwhelmed, and emotionally maxed out.  The smallest thing can set you off and send you down a dysregulated path that lasts for days.  That is not what is supposed to happen if you get triggered.  Your nervous system is supposed to reset itself and bring you back to a calm and well-regulated state pretty quickly.    Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beli

If you're on the Information List for ADDventures In Achievement Foundational Skills Program, then you've been receiving some exclusive emails this week. As I was reviewing the emails you've been receiving again, I was thinking of how easy it would be very easy for you to not believe what I'm saying in the emails, and maybe not even believe what I say in my podcast show because after all. If you're in your 30s or 40s, or 50s or older like me, you've had a lot of years of experiences in which things haven't really worked well. Because otherwise, I can't imagine that you would be looking for more help.  For this podcast episode, I've decided to keep it casual this week and just talk with you guys. Enjoy! Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with u

Have you been suffering long enough? Whether your suffering is due to your limiting beliefs or outdated identities or missing pre-skills or underdeveloped EF skills – if you’re suffering, then you’re suffering – no matter which of these are the source of your suffering. In this episode, I talk about: Suppressing emotions Stories you tell yourself that keep you suffering How to break free from suffering And more!   Developing your Executive Function Skills and shifting your limiting beliefs is the fastest and most effective way to overcome ADHD limitations, find focus, gain confidence, and a newfound freedom in your life! My mission is to put an end to the worldwide needless suffering of adults with ADHD and those with under-developed Executive Function Skills - whether from ADHD, chronic depression or anxiety, trauma, addictions, or chronic illnesses.  And, you don't need a formal diagnosis to know you need help developing these executive function skills in order to greatly reduce your suffering. Episode