The Tom Barnard Show

They say art is subjective. That's wrong. Sometimes, art is simply bad. The new MLB hats are a great example of that. They're ugly, they make no sense, and surprisingly frequently, they're profane. That's why you should buy one of our hats instead. No profanity to be found. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dental surgery is no fun at all. You can't talk, you can't chew, and you don't even get to sleep through it like regular surgery. Although with all the new TV shows everyone is watching, you might not want to sleep anyway. Especially with Kristyn's mysterious debut on ABC news. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What makes someone royalty? Calling themselves so and being uncontested, that's what. That's why we're all kings, queens, dukes, and maybe a count here and there. Unfortunately our studio isn't very much territory, so the king of England and his new podcast have us beat in terms of sheer royal-ness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A case of hantavirus. A rap about monkeys. Nerve damage. Today is nothing if packed with intrigue. And if that's not enough, an NFL player is making poverty wages. Well, okay, he's making over a million a year, but still. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Football season is over, which means Costaki is free to roam the land once more. This week he's roaming his way up to Minnesota at Acme and making a pit stop in studio to visit us. Tom and Kathryn aren't here in person, continuing a 12 year tradition of Costaki rarely, if ever, meeting them face to face. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get off social media. Well, wait, hold on. Stay on social media, but only to check for updates on our page. Aside from that, you don't need it. It's addictive, it's stressful, and do you really care when someone you haven't seen since high school goes to Europe? Be honest. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Back in the forgotten year of 2011, Big Jay and Dave started a podcast called Legion of Skanks. And wouldn't you know it, it's still going. Sometimes a podcast is just so good it lasts forever. Of course, we credit ourselves for its longevity by having them on our show, boosting their popularity through the roof. Yeah, that's gotta be it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You've maybe bought Flamin' Hot Cheetos. But have you bought Cheetos the breathe fire hot enough to melt boulders? If so, head over to Kinko's and get that thing laminated, because you've got a real treasure on your hands. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Bob can make some noise. Is it any wonder his wife of decades can rise to the occasion? This is especially true when a certain someone can't get his camera looking as nice and clean as Mary's. Also on the docket, they managed to do a whole Oscars show without bringing up Trump once. A good omen? We sure hope so. I guess we'll find out in a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The thing about being a radio legend (Paul's words, not ours) is if you have bad taste in movies, you're still fair game. Although to Tom's credit, at least he knows who Gene Hackman is. The same cannot be said for everyone in studio. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dustin is a Republican who's very active on X. Mike Bryant is a Democrat who's very active on our show. Put them together and what do you get? Civil discourse. Yes, it's still possible. The trick is, you've gotta want it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No, we haven't been going for 50 years. Not quite. But The Price is Right has, and Drew Carey has been on it for almost 20, if you can believe that. Also hard to believe: the amount of sugar in SpaghettiOs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How often do you wish society would just go back to the old days before everyone was constantly on their phone? Well you're in luck, because we have the perfect solution. Simply go to prison. There isn't a smartphone to be seen behind those walls. And you don't even really have to commit a real crime to get there. Put your kid in an Instagram video and don't credit them. Bam, you're free of the tyranny of the iPhone for a few years. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Another lost episode? Already? Yes, because this one is a continuation of the previous one. Louie and Wendy stick around to interview Nick about his new show. Then, suddenly, the episode ends and we're talking to Dr. Pol. If you're wondering what happened there, so am I. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Do you remember Louie's ill-fated line of shirts called Louie's Big N' Easy? If so, you have an incredible memory. Wendy never had a line of shirts, which is probably why she found Louie so intimidating. I mean, technically Louie never did either, but at least he was close. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you know how Bob and Mary met? Well you're about to learn. You're also going to learn about The Dutch Giant. He's not related to the story, we're just fascinated how someone can get so big without getting trapped in rooms with small doors. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Youtube is an endless font of entertainment. It's also a portal straight to Satan's subconscious, so watch your step. Maybe keep the kids away until they've completed some basic demonology training. Until then, you can take them to Costco. That's also an endless font of entertainment. At least for some people, anyway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Tomorrow at 8 AM, you'll get to hear Tom dominate the Initials Game. How hard could it be, right? It's just letters. We know those. We also know how to annoy the politically-minded. But we'll try not to do that too much. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Old people shouldn't be allowed to vote. Hey, don't get mad at me, get mad at Tom. He's the one who said it. They also probably shouldn't have been allowed to make TV shows, based on some of the things you hear coming from actors in the 50s. Of course, now we have vegan cults and mediocre music, so the truth is, nothing is ever as good as you remember. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Remember being a kid? Every Saturday morning you'd wake up early so you could watch your weekly allotment of kid's shows. Then it was back to the coal mines for another week. We miss that. The TV, not the mining coal. Although if we had some coal to burn at least it would be somewhat warm. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices