Creating Real Marriages That Last With Dr. Mike Glenn

Living Intentionally as Family

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about my 25th anniversary as Senior Pastor at Brentwood Baptist Church. We talk about some of the leadership lessons I’ve learned over the years, including some of the things I’d tell the version of me that started here 25 years ago. I also share about what excites me most about the years to come.

On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I discuss the new sermon series on the story of Joseph in the Old Testament. I love this story. It’s the story of how Joseph endures it all, but he doesn’t let his circumstances define his behavior. What Joseph knew, despite all the circumstances around him, was that God had made a promise to Abraham and somehow this promise was going to come true. That’s what helped him keep going.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Darrel and I talk about how leaders should respond to moments of crisis. The first step is to be mindful that bad things are going to happen, and they’ll happen in your neighborhood. While we may not know the specific nature of the crisis, we must accept the reality that it will happen. You don’t have time to become ready when they do; you have to already be prepared. Most of the time that means having already established relationships with key people in the community—the mayor, police and fire departments, and other pastors in the area. Be a part of the “what if” conversations and have a plan ahead of time. We also discuss how to lead staff through crisis moments and the opportunities you have as a church to be there for people who are hurting.

On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, Darrel and I talk about how to gain clarity as a leader and determine how to focus your time and effort. When you’re a young leader, you think your job is to make everybody happy. So, you say “yes” to everything, but this ends up hurting you, your family, and even the people you serve. As you get older, you realize you’re not going to live forever. There are literally a handful of things that truly matter. Everything else is a distraction. So, it’s important to spend some time getting to know who God uniquely created you to be. Sometimes the most freeing thing you can say is, “I’m not any good at this.” That allows someone else who has that skill or that gift to step up and serve. It’s about building a team of people who can accomplish the mission together, rather than one person trying to do it all.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about TED talks and how they relate to preaching. TED talks initially began as an opportunity for leaders in technology, entertainment, and design to get across new ideas in 18 minutes. Now there are TED talks in all disciplines. They have redefined the genre of public speaking. There are fascinating implications for effective preaching based on these talks. Most people can’t focus on what you’re saying for longer than 18 minutes, so you have to narrow down the points. A compelling story is transformational. We say a lot and think we’ve communicated a lot, but that’s not the case. You have to be intentional about preparing every sermon.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about the kind of leader I am. I’ve been the pastor of Brentwood Baptist Church for nearly 25 years. The reality is I’ve pastored 4 or 5 different churches, all at the same address. The church I pastor now is very different than the church I came to. I’ve grown with the church as each new phase or transition required a different leadership skill from me. I’ve had the privilege of working with great leaders who have helped me learn and grow. The scary thing for me is the reality is that no church can outrun its pastor. As the pastor, you always have to be out front leading the group, encouraging them to continue on.

On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss falling in love again and again. Jeannie and I have been married for over 36 years. When you’re on the journey of marriage for that long, change is part of it. That’s one of the beautiful things about a committed marriage—you see each other grow. On this episode we also discuss what it means to renegotiate marriage over the years, some of the life events that create change in a marriage, and celebrating the moments that made you fall in love all over again.

On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss how different Jeannie and I are. Early in our marriage we fought a lot about our differences. I was self-centered and wanted her to be just like me. Everything changed when I began to truly pray for Jeannie. Jesus showed me He had a purpose in creating her exactly the way she is. I began to realize that if I’m fighting how she’s different than me, I’m pushing against how God has created her. So now, the questions I’ve learned to ask are: Who did Jesus create Jeannie to be, and how do I help her be all the Jeannie she can be? My role as her husband is to maximize the investment that Jesus has made in her.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, we discuss what happens when Millennials run the workplace. A lot of the millennials are really good at stuff I don’t know anything about. But I’m learning that if I want to continue to be effective, I have to let them teach me. When I’m working with a Millennial, I start from a position of humility. I say something like, “Hey, I noticed you’re really good at this. Can you explain this to me?” When you ask for help, Millennials are really eager to show you what they know. They also want to find out if you’re the real deal. I learned that during my time with Kairos. From authenticity comes the opportunity for ministry.

In today’s episode of Creating Real Marriage that Last, we discuss why setting aside time for prayer, reflection, and quiet is so important. We all have demands on our time, but no one was more needed than Jesus. Even with all that others required of Him, He made it a habit to disappear for quiet moments of prayer with His Father. The world is not going to give you the time and space to be quiet. You have to be intentional. Look at the rhythms of your life and find what works for you.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we talk about the importance of not forgetting about the future. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by the never-ending list of things we have to do right now, that we literally forget there’s a tomorrow. You also have to balance looking ahead at the future with investing in your relationships now—especially with your spouse. We also discuss how to bring up conversations about the future (finances, funerals, etc.) with your spouse.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we’re talking about the priceless gift of your full attention. If you’re spending time with your spouse or your children, and you’re trying to do something else at the same time, you’re not giving them your full attention. It’s not possible to multitask and do multiple things well at the same time. So, we talk about how to communicate with those you love and give them the gift of your full attention.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we discuss two great lies we’ve been told by our culture. The first lie is we can be anything we want to be. The reality is that there are things you’re good at and things you’re not, and that’s OK. We all have limits. The second lie is that you can be anything you want to be if you just work for it. That’s not true either. I’m never going to be a talented musician simply by practicing. It’s not my gift. If I were to work really hard at it, I’d just end up feeling drained and disappointed. Your gifts come easily to you, and often it’s someone else who points out those things that you’re really good at.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I talk about giving gifts to your spouse. Guys have trouble with this. A lot of guys feel guilty about spending too much time at work and allowing their priorities to get messed up. So, they buy a really nice gift once a year, thinking it’ll make everything better, but it actually makes things worse. You can’t make up in one gift what you haven’t done all year long. What she really wants is your attention throughout the year.

Today on Creating Real Marriages That Last, we talk about the importance of a healthy view of ourselves. Often we’re so afraid of being prideful that we have gone to the other side and now fail to love ourselves at all. To fail to love ourselves is to discredit the Artist. God introduces Himself in Scripture as an Artist. His crowning creation is humanity. Healthy self-love comes first from the understanding that you bear the Imago Dei—the image of the Creator Himself. We also discuss how parents can help their children develop a healthy view of themselves by filling them with the truth of God’s love for them.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, I discuss some of the reasons I’ve chosen to step down from my role as the leader and teaching pastor of Kairos. I’ve been part of this young adult ministry since it began 11 years ago. However, a few years ago I began to realize it was time to pass the leadership on to another person. Now, Chris Brooks has transitioned into the role, and he’s already doing a great job. In this episode I also share my advice to leaders as they consider the future of their ministries and determine when it’s time to pass the baton to someone else.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo and I are discussing Millennials in the workplace and church. There is a growing weariness among young adults. They’ve seen the disappointment of their parents in their careers, money, and relationships. So now they’re looking for meaning and want to follow their passions to make a difference in the world. As a pastor, I have to learn how to reach this generation in a way that’s different from the generation that came before them. Listen in as we discuss some of my thoughts about Millennials.

Today on Creating Real Marriages that Last, we’re talking about the idea that the first seminary was in the home. Look at the story of Apollos in Scripture. Priscilla and Aquila brought him in and discipled him in their home. This idea is reinforced when we talk about the reality that parents are the first disciplers of their children. I learned to love Scripture from my dad. The gospel music my mom played on the piano became the soundtrack of my life. Discipleship happens best in the ebb and flow of daily life experiences.

On today’s episode of Creating Real Marriages that Last, Amy-Jo Girardier and I discuss new year’s resolutions. Mine for this year is simply “Less is more.” My big thing is to determine how much can I get rid of and eliminate so that I can make space for the things that really matter. We also talk about the church in the new year, including my biggest concern and what I’m most excited about for the church.