Empire Of The Senseless

I almost turned around to the sound of your voice. But every bone in my body told me to keep walking. I only want you to know that I tried. I must execute extreme precaution. There’s a game at play, you’ll see. Mostly it awakens in the night. It wants to eradicate me. It is not possible for me to exist. I enliven the eyes searching for an incomprehensible difference. I compel them. They want to harvest everything I emit. Problem is, they can never catch me. My body sinks into the flesh of the earth and follows the patterns of her roots when I lie down at night. I’m fragile. I walk so slowly. A vicious fairy surrounds me. She just so happens to adore me. I told her a story. She couldn’t resist. If I remember you intensely, it goes like this. Once upon a time, I began. Then I decided to quite. I’d rather tell it like a kid. No kid believes in fairytales. Innocence dies before it’s born. All the kids left alive here are violent and sad all of the time. They know they’ve been fed another’s vomit since they pried

‘Run! Sage! My, love! Get the fuck out of this place.’ I love these trees with every molecule of my earthly being. But I don’t listen. I run toward the screaming instead. There’s an Old Catholic chapel on sixth. The sun weeps as she sets behind it. She turns red and says goodnight to my longing gaze for the last time. She never wanted to leave me. She tries to explain; but there simply isn’t enough time. ‘I was taken!’ she begs. ‘I know’, I cry. ‘I will carry your memory. In me, you will remain alive. Don’t be afraid. I will use our power to destroy the thieves. To steal a soul from its human form by means of manipulation in the name of domination is a movement I cannot let go unpunished. Not in my kingdom. Baby girl, smile again; you will find a way to break free. We will make them pay.’ Times up, fucks! You’ve let starvation go unseen for too long. You’ve chosen to eat money. In the end you will bite on the corners of plastic chips and try with all your might to eat numbers on a screen. You’ll turn to your

Where is the beginning? I can’t stop reaching for a place to begin. It’s tempting, this nasty world we live in; every mouth that opens before you encourages survival. It’s not fair!  My body aches for these mouths! My spirit wants to spit down their lying throats. How dare you tempt me with this sickness that plagues you! How dare you to beg me to join your fate! What is this fear that you care so much to recognize in me? Why do you need me to encourage the movement you choose to make? I cannot be this thing you disgust. That lives inside you. Rip it out! Remember your nature and scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs. I will be waiting. It’s lonesome without a soul but my own. I will always be ready for you to return home. It will always be you.              I’m on the road again. I am fleeing. I haven’t gone anywhere. I’m dreaming. I walk into a diner in New York City. There is a gorgeous women yelling at the waiter, ‘I didn’t order this shit!’ I walk between them and ask to be seated with her. ‘W

‘Wait. Don’t tell me. You have a plan, don’t you? Tell me, my love, what are you going to do about the sky? Will you ever look up again? I’m not a baby. You’re not my mommy. I will not worship any part of you that no longer lives inside of me. I will try to come to you. But it will be on my time. No matter what, time must remain with me. I must stay with me.’ I curl up in my bed and stay until the sunset, raised again, stretches over the length of the sky, and falls for the last time. I don’t sleep. I don’t notice the time that has come. I don’t see the time passing by. I only feel my body. I only hear my breath. Victor moves me with melody. I sing. I lean into a force of nature that has been begging of my complete surrender since the day I was born. For years I let a women hold her name. Then I gave my own. Then I gave myself a thousand more. Then she named me. She saw a boy at dawn. She called him a prophet. I saw his reflection in the moon. The heat of his female body begging after the sun let the light of

After this, try to remember where it all began. Your voice is necessary; mine is a waste of your time. Write! I've already died. You must make it out alive. Ditch the fear. Ditch the shame. Speak! My love is always by your side.

‘Daring child, find the might inside! I will be a shadow of you always. I will dance when you’re frozen still, if only to make you laugh like a lunatic in some place that you don’t think your sound is welcome. I will never stop reminding myself of you. I will stay close.’ Portia moves towards me.  ‘Don’t you dare assume of me.’ ‘It’s not an assumption my love. I already know everything. Haven’t you been paying ay attention to the sun? Don’t you stare her down every time she goes away? When you close your eyes, must you always force sleep? Or do you beg of yourself from the colors that dance behind your eyelids? Do you dance among the stars when you remain still? I do. I must. I am love with one of them.’ ‘I thought you were in love with me, Demian? I thought this was supposed to be you on your knees begging again? What exactly are you asking for?’ ‘Breathe sweet girl. This is all. This is everything.’ ‘They’ve taken the air!’ ‘I know. That is why you must create. What you deem worthy of your

No. This time I shall not ask any questions. Ask yourself. I’m exhausted. I’ve been inside of myself all morning. Go inside for yourself if you dare my dear. No! Don’t you dare try to make any sense of this shit. Just go! ‘Hey, I’ve got an idea. Let's skate! Lets make something spectacular of this shitty city. Ha! In my dreams I know. Y’all already comfortable, stuck up in the matrix. Am I close? No! I said no more questions. I meant it. I couldn’t give a fuck how you’re answering. It’s the best form of entertainment if you ask me, this horrifying show we’re putting on. Really, this is it? All our creative energy combined came up with this shit? What a damn shame! You’re wasting your precious skin. I listen to you move your lips around things you wish you wouldn’t have to say, as they slide over your tongue. But you keep talking, because I’m listening; this is an intoxicating sensation to you. All the while, my interpretation of you is missed. You speak a language that I not only don’t understand, but also

Tell me your deepest darkest secrets; I’ll dig into the depths of you. I’ll hold you hostage by your own preconceived ideas of your reflection. Then I’ll let you shed them like you never said anything. I’ll let you begin, again and again and again. It’s a blank canvas where I stand. I know this is threatening. I know you think I’ll remember. But the truth is I forget everything that isn’t felt by my own skin. If you didn’t touch me in saying it, it was never said.  I stand by a puddle in my courtyard. I close my eyes and call it a river. It sounds like a brook. It smells like moss tinted with chlorine. It feels like your eyes are all over my naked skin. I have a short layer of cotton under my baggy jeans. I have a silicone cock strapped to a white strap under that. Its difficult to hide how stiff it remains. I can hardly expect man-made desire to dissipate. Its manipulative tendencies are everlasting, this was intended; this was created. Will you still create? If you knew that you were responsible for everyth

 ‘There’s something in the water!’ I smack the cup out of her hands just as the tip of the glass touches her bottom lip. ‘You didn’t swallow, did you? Tell me you didn’t let any of that shit roll over your tongue.’ ‘No. You fuck. I’m bleeding.’ She wipes her mouth with the back of her thumb. ‘Satisfied? What the fuck is wrong with you. I need to drink. What would you have me do, eh? Starve myself in hopes of being unaffected. Look where I’m living! This is an unavoidable fate. I chose to stand on this piece of earth. I accept my defeat graciously. I will lay down softy in this dirty place.’ ‘No, girl; I have never been so aggravated in my life! It is by your side I must stand. Look at me standing outside this dumb bar like the dumb fuck that I am. When will I step in? Never. Fuck you. Chase me.’ ‘Is that what your banking on baby? Boy oh boy, you’ve got a death wish. Have you harnessed enough patience to wait an eternity?’ ‘I’ve harnessed eternity. Do you want me or not?’ ‘Yes. Wait. I’ve got some things to w

So its magic you’re after? Close your eyes. Wake up dreaming. Stay completely still. Don’t move a single muscle in your entire body. Poof! Every dollar disappears and every institution abiding by their destruction dissipates. Shhh. You don’t have to say a thing. Magic lives between my pink plump lips. Don’t you want a taste again? They say third times a charm, let’s take a couple more swings and see for our selves, make every number ours. Stop letting them take our sight! Start counting down instead. Five four three two one boom! Baby’s got balance! Look at me on the edge of this bus bench girl! I’m king of the world. I’m yours to control. Stop letting them take away your ability to balance everything you ever dreamed of in one single breath? Do you have any idea how powerful you are child? Take your senses back! Touch the palest parts of my wrist with your tongue. Run your middle finger down the length of my spine. When you run out of room, go inside. Listen to the rainfall over dawn. It’s a morning yawn to

Your silence prevails. But it won’t free me. My freedom opens pockets in time and teases me, begs me to jump through them. Aren’t you dying to know what freedom taste like? Aren’t you tired of being dead? I have an idea. It’s fucking wild, so bare with me. Step outside of the walls you’ve assigned the flesh that is your only home and scream. No, not like you’ve lost your kitten. Like you’re calling out the name of your lover who has being walking away from your front door slowly for three years. You haven’t seen her since she never said goodbye. You never asked her to let go. You just let her hang on tight from miles away so she had a little less to fear. Scream like she was making social calls in your apartment complex. Scream like she was leaning against your doorframe like there was no fuck to give and not a single memory in sight. Scream for the child in the blacks of her eyes that died. Scream like bringing her back to life is a song that got stuck in the back of your throat. Scream her name in the middl

‘When Juniper and Jade began to slaughter P, it was entirely out of greed.’ I explain to the little human on my knee. This little human is my son, V. I had him by P, or so it was said to be. I argued a lack of certain necessary biological organisms. I was confused by this incessant desire to obtain one decisive determination of right and wrong. Arguments defeat themselves, this world is too opinioned; to put it as lightly as I possibly can. ‘They were looking for each other, you see. P was an aversion. P was the mistress of their freedom. But she was too little, too weak. They tried dragging her along by the wrists, but they tore off. They tried doing the same by her ankles, but these also gave way to snags in the highway. They tried slinging what remained on the back of a donkey. But her rot crept up his spine and spread a disease that neither of them could spot in time. Time was running out. It was simply too late. Time died.’ ‘Then what happened?’ screams V.  ‘Isn’t it obvious kiddo? I’ve read you that sto

‘Babygirl stop screaming, please, I can hardly hear myself speak. I know we’re not on teasing terms, but… smile anyway. This is my only motivation. The invitation to play is sincere. Here, I’ll tell you what. I’ll give it to you straight. Think you can carry the weight of it? Possibly. Maybe you’re far stronger than I can even imagine you up to be. Maybe you are the dragon. Maybe I am your horse. If I pull you out of the sand, will you ride me into this fight? Maybe baby. But I hate maybes baby. All I have is tonight. And tonight, you are out of reach. How far am I willing to go? Am I following or am I lead? Please, my love, explain the difference. Please explain everything. I want to know everything! I’ll never believe what’s said. But I will listen willingly. Like a child, I will sit at your worn feet and beg, ‘tell me another story mommy, I cant go to sleep yet. Look! Mum look at me! I love you! Watch me dance! Look, I’m your baby and you’ve forgotten who I am.’ I wont call you my mom, of course. That’s ju

‘It shall be a monstrous occasion if we simply sit on the edge of this mattress all day. We’ll fuck as much as we can to numb loneliness with ecstasy, then we’ll go insane.’ She rips the ballpoint pen from my fingers, I’m ignoring her; she doesn’t like to be ignored. I run out of ink. ‘Wouldn’t you rather write in pink baby? You’ve been feeling so sassy lately. I can tell by the way your naked ass reaches for me when I make you wait.’ I say nothing. I keep writing. Pinks and purples make me high. Spring sticks on the back of my tongue like a song I haven’t sung yet. ‘I want to sing!’ I scream suddenly, breaking her silence and mine. ‘I want the ocean! I want to jump on Jade, throw her sweet frame on a ferry and sail away. I want my toes sinking into her unfulfilling tides. ‘Stay!’ Then she goes away. I kick and scream, like the bratty little baby that I am. I don’t care. I am more alive by having known her again. I hold my breath; I cannot breathe. I reach. She recedes. I try to scream, nothing comes out. I s

‘So I’m still in love with you. I’m not sure how to say, I mean, you know. That is, I can’t seem to crawl on my baby ass to your bright blue toenails and say. I’m sorry, it may have slipped your mind in all the fear induced by the world of opinions, but I do believe that I belong to you. Then you will weep. Not cute, like heaving and snorting, huffing and puffing kid of sobs.              “I’m sorry!” you’ll scream between swallowing globs of your own nose running. “I don’t want your fucking apologies goofball,” I’ll say.             “Oh yes you do, you little liar! Sneaky brat!”             “Hey, watch it buster, who you calling a brat? That aint my name.”’             ‘Juniper, stop’ says the love of my life, rolling over baby purple tinted grey sheets. ‘I can’t’ I cry. ‘I’m with you. There’s nothing I can do.’             ‘Chin up cleaver boy, those toes must move without me. I was dead in that body until your touch and tone resurrected me. My love, hush. Write. Your stories are where I am alive. I have ch

If I am not allowed to be yours, than I am not allowed to be. Oh! What a terrible way to be punished! Abandoned. Insidious torture. Children left to die in prisons they designed for their own pleasure. I stare at the moon at seven in the afternoon. It’s still as bright as the day I stole you away forever, but the dark is lurking up the side of the canyon, under the bridge on 1st.  You know the one, a head at third, under rickety Quince, and a tail at Dove. Not her Dove, my love. This day is not the same as the one I hold her in. I cannot leave this day, as it is the only one, so I beg the moon to reflect the other side of her for me. I cannot touch her skin, so I dance in the blazing heat of the dessert until my own skin screams reminders. ‘Remember yesterday! Remember the way your mum said I’d never live up to the man I became. Remember, you changed my name and claimed the throne! Remember? My God woman, you must remember!’  I remember. I’m on a train. The seats are burgundy. She’s sitting opposite of me kic

‘Wanna know a secret?’ There are two little birds perched on the red roof. They are singing of all the things we can’t see. She’s doing the dishes on the second floor. I’m not sure I know her name yet, but I know I’ve seen her before. Daisy Jade is scared and I can’t reach her, not this time. So I cry myself to sleep to Bon Iver. Please, don’t live in fear! ‘You don’t have to be afraid. There’s nothing left to fear, that’s my secret. That is what you hear when you listen to the birds sing. I figured out how to get to the moon Baby P, want to dance on her body with me?’ ‘My dearest Juniper Sage, I’m going to call you P, is it okay if I call you P? Well, fuck it, I’m going to anyway. I don’t think the name assigned to your home is fitting for the throne you are destined to sit upon.’ I look at my own butt. ‘Yes. That’s the one Junebug, that’s the ass that takes every child left alive in this shit show to kingdom come. I have secrets too. Here, I’ll tell you one, repay the favor. You saved my soul. I am forever