So Very Wrong About Games

It is a well-known fact, observed by Infinity: the Game, Across the Spider-Verse, and Undaunted: Battle of Britain, that a Sikh man in uniform is always a good look. So here's to pilot Singh in his Hurricane! Not to mention Sergeant Singh in his power armour, and Captain Singh in his Spider-Man movie (in my heart, it is his film).Games Played Last Week:01:01 -The Defence of Procyon III (Dávid Turczi, PSC Games, 2021)11:02 -That's Not a Hat (Kasper Lapp, Ravensburger, 2023)14:49 -Beyond the Sun: Leaders of a New Dawn (Dennis K. Chan and Joseph Summa, Rio Grande Games, 2023)19:50 -Thunder Road: Vendetta (Dave Chalkers, Brett Myers, Noah Cohen, Rob Daviau, Justin D. Jacobson, Jim Keifer, and Brian Neff, Restoration Games, 2023)25:07 -Sherlock Holmes: Baker Street Irregulars (Cédric Asna, Makaka Editions, 2019)27:26 -It's a Wonderful World (Frédéric Guérard, La Boîte de Jeu, 2019)31:48 -IKI (Koota Yamada, Sorry We Are French, 2015)34:41 -Knarr (Thomas Dupont, Bombyx, 2023)News (and why it doesn't

Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents and everyone is running a Kickstarter. It is trivially easy to string together quotations going back to the dawn of human civilization lamenting how the youth are ruining everything, how the good old days were so great, and wishing we could go back to the golden age. See, I blame it on the baby boomers aging and succumbing more and more to nostalgia. See, in the good old days, before the boomers, we had things in perspective.01:51 AYURIS: Anno 1800 (Martin Wallace, KOSMOS, 2020)Games Played Last Week:03:37 -Yucatan (Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2023)14:06 -Skytear Horde (Giacomo Neri and Riccardo Neri, Skytear Games, 2023)15:44 -Sorcerer City (Scott Caputo, Druid City Games, 2020)20:50 -Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Scrawlers--Heroes of Waterdeep (Vangelis Bagiartakis and Konstantinos Karagiannis, WizKids, 2023) 25:36 -Dorfromantik: The Board Game (Michael Palm and Lukas Zach, Pegasus Spiele, 2022)26:15 -The Red Cathedral: Contractors (Isra C. and Shei S.

Mark's enthusiasm for Dungeon Scrawlers is telling. Whereas most children enjoy mazes, drawing, or even colouring, Mark instead as a child enjoyed the programmatic, deterministic mundanity of connect-the-dots. Straight(ish) lines and ascending natural numbers only, please. No doubt at a similar age Walker was already pursuing his jock/theatre kid synthesis, doing a number from Gilbert & Sullivan as his endzone dance after scoring a touchdown. 01:13 AYURIS: Soldiers in Postmen's Uniforms (David Thompson, Dan Verssen Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:03:32 -Tindaya (Lolo González, Red Mojo, 2022)06:41 -Radiant: Offline Battle Arena (Jack Murray, Heel Turn Games, 2019)09:07 -Formula D (Laurent Lavaur & Eric Randall, Asmodee, 2008)12:15 -Undaunted: Battle of Britain (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2023)16:39 -Orléans (Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2014)18:48 -Witchcraft! (Trevor Benjamin, Roger Tankersly, and David Thompson, Salt & Pepper Games, 2023)23:49 -The Red Cathedr

We are very proud of our strict editorial standards here at SVWAG. Among them is our firm stance on Monty Python references, which are very firmly circumscribed. Philosophers are mentioned all the time, but never the song; and similarly we discuss Mozart here (in two different media!) without any kind of passing gesture to his decomposition. People have tried to smuggle in other references to the show, but those responsible have been sacked.Games Played Last Week:01:34 -Dice Hospital: ER--Emergency Roll (Matthew Dunstan and Brett J. Gilbert, Alley Cat Games, 2022)02:35 -Joan of Arc: Orléans Draw & Write (Ryan Hendrickson and Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2022)04:46 -Tinderblox (Rob Sparks, Alley Cat Games, 2020)06:36 -Similo (Martino Chiacchiera, Hjalmar Hach, & Pierluca Zizzi, Horrible Guild, 2019)08:21 -Crazy Tower (Alexis Harvey, Félix Leblanc, Manuel-Lucas Bergeron Duhamel, & Mathieu Auger, Synapses Games, 2020)09:30 -Glenn Drover's Empires: Galactic Rebellion (Don Beyer and Glenn Drover,

The episode notes will be released in installments. The base pledge, "Generic Non-Sequiturs," will give you the first two sentences and the last sentence. But don't miss out on the "Forced Macross Reference" add-on pack, which gives you sentence five; or the "Austen Allusion" pack featuring sentence four. The ultra-limited "Stupid Kant Wordplay" pack will never be reprinted (until, let's face it, next week's episode notes, when you'll be subjected to some more regardless). Pledge now!01:29 AYURIS: Vienna Connection (Jakub Poczęty, Przemysław Rymer, Ignacy Trzewiczek, & Jakub Łapot, Portal Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:04:21 -Mindbug Beyond (Skaff Elias, Richard Garfield, Marvin Hegen, and Christian Kudahl, Nerdlab Games, 2023) 05:59 -Abandon All Artichokes (Emma Larkins, Gamewright, 2020)06:49 -Crazy Tower (Alexis Harvey, Félix Leblanc, Manuel-Lucas Bergeron Duhamel, & Mathieu Auger, Synapses Games, 2020)09:03 -Empires: Age of Discovery (Glenn Drove

It is a truth universally acknowledged in eurogames that every famous historical man (it's almost always a man, of course) had a retinue of about 2-5 hangers-on whose sole job was to impress him. They did this mostly by doing stuff he did; maybe after he did them, maybe running states he conquered, maybe even by doing the stuff he was credited with. Their names are lost to antiquity. All we know is that they liked solid colours, and that the famous dude was most impressed with one of them. Games Played Last Week:00:54 -Lacrimosa (Gerard Ascendi and Ferran Renalias, Devir, 2022)06:30 -Tapple (Uncredited, The Op Games, 2021)07:48 -Forests of Pangaia (Thomas Franken, Pangaia Games, 2022)09:48 -Wizards of the Grimoire (Cole Banning and Joe Banning, Grimoire Games, 2022)12:46 -Sentinels of the Multiverse (Christopher Badell, Paul Bender, & Adam Rebottaro, Greater Than Games, 2011)16:51 -So Clover! (François Romain, Repos Production, 2021)19:07 -Spots (Alex Hague, Jon Perry, and Justin Vickers, CMYK, 2022)2

"L'enfer, c'est les autres," wrote Sartre, which translates into "why don't nobody wanna play with me?" You see, Sartre only liked his consims and other historical wargames, but people didn't want to join him--possibly on account of there having been less history back in his old-timey days. His angst over unplayed games was the key inspiration of his existentialist philosophy. Camus tried to show him that the answer is to play with randos with his work "The Stranger."  01:52 AYURIS: Tribune (Karl-Heinz Schmiel, Spielworxx, 2021)Games Played Last Week:06:33 -Imperium: The Contention (Gary Dworetsky, Contention Games, 2021)09:57 -Distilled (Dave Beck, Paverson Games, 2023)17:25 -Quartermaster General (Second Edition): Total War (Ian Brody, Ares Games, 2020)22:26 -Sniper Elite: Eagle's Nest (Roger Tankersly and David Thompson, Rebellion Unplugged, 2022)28:53 -Tapple (Uncredited, The Op Games, 2021)30:29 -The Great Zimbabwe (Jeroen Doumen and Joris Wiersinga, Splotter S

In the show Ted Lasso (possibly the subject of a future Masterpiece Theatre?), French-Canadian goaltender Zoreaux asks to be called Van Damme. This is partly because people kept mispronouncing his name as "Zorro," and also because he admired the Muscles from Brussels. The point is that even people who thought it was stupid respected his wishes and called him what he wanted to be called, because that's what not being a jerk is. Similarly, ain't nothing necessarily wrong with being called Sally, but if you consistently call someone Sally when they don't want to be called that, you're being a toxic jerk. It doesn't have to be a big deal, and we're not the ones making it a big deal. Call people what they want to be called. It costs you nothing and decency is always a good look.Games Played Last Week:00:49 -Hot Lead (Reiner Knizia, Bitewing Games, 2022)02:49 -Masters of the Universe: Fields of Eternia The Board Game (Dave Ketch and Jakub S. Olekszyk, Archon Studio, 2022)09:48 -Beyon

We get introspective this week, or at least as much as the editorial gibbons allow. If we get too deep they get nervous, and as every podcaster will tell you, nervous gibbons are bad for the show. Walker, Mark alleges, is a masochist who sacrifices himself on the altar of speed, which may or may not mean game flow; Walker counters that Mark abuses the takesies-backsies. 01:50 AYURIS: Imperium: Classics and Imperium: Legends (Nigel Buckle & Dávid Turczi, Osprey Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:06:13 -XenoShyft: Dreadmire (Michael Shinall, CMON, 2017)11:24 -Raccoon Tycoon (Glenn Drover, Forbidden Games, 2018)16:01 -Dwellings of Eldervale (Luke Laurie, Breaking Games, 2020)20:37 -Code of Nine (BakaFire, Z-Man Games, 2012)22:47 -Akropolis (Jules Messaud, Gigamic, 2022)25:47 -Ortus Regni (Jon Sudbury, Jon Sudbury Games, 2014)29:11 -Rallyman: DIRT (Jean-Christophe Bouvier, Holy Grail Games, 2023)38:21 -Resist! (Trevor Benjamin, Roger Tankersley, and David Thompson, Salt & Pepper Games, 2022)News (and why

Is there a difference between a fruit salad and a fruit cup? I mean, the first question is whether a fruit cup contains a fruit salad, or if the contents are some other substance; then one can query whether the cup and its contents are a gestalt whole. Let us not forget the prospect of a fruit cup of Theseus, whereby each fruit piece is removed and replaced with an equivalent fruit (I would ask what an equivalent fruit is, but that's getting sidetracked)--is it the same fruit cup? Heraclitus would say you can't take a bite of the same fruit salad twice. There's the somewhat absurd possibility of a fruit cup of Damocles--presumably the fruits therein would have been prepared by Procrustes. What I'm getting at is melon is gross.Games Played Last Week:00:53 -Just One (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Production, 2018)01:04 -So Clover! (François Romain, Repos Production, 2021)04:17 -Green Team Wins (Nathan Thornton, 25th Century Games, 2022)08:19 -Decrypto (Thomas Dagenais-Lespérance, Le S

From Wikipedia:"Boglins were a series of toy puppets distributed by Mattel. They were created by Tim Clarke, Maureen Trotto, and Larry Mass, and licensed by Seven Towns. The original run of Boglins was released in 1987, coinciding with a "creatures" craze that included Ghoulies, Critters, and Gremlins. Boglins were goblin-themed hand puppets made of flexible rubber and could be manipulated to represent speech and facial expressions."Games Played Last Week:01:26 -The Crew: The Quest for Planet Nine (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2019)03:38 -Cartographers: A Roll Player Game (Jordy Adan, Thunderworks Games, 2019)05:27 -Res Arcana (Thomas Lehmann, Sand Castle Games, 2019)08:41 -Tribes of the Wind (Joachim Thôme, La Boîte de Jeu, 2022)10:20 -Steam Up: A Feast of Dim Sum (Pauline Kong, Haymen Lee, and Marie Wong, Hot Banana Games, 2023)13:20 -Switch & Signal (David Thompson, KOSMOS, 2020)16:06 -SEAL Team Flix (Pete Ruth & Mark Thomas, WizKids, 2018)18:30 -Star Fighters: Rapid Fire (Michael Dunsmore

And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Huey that if Walker moves my games one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Dewey too, because Walker's moved my games four times already this year, and they used to be over by the window, and they could see the squirrels, and they were merry, but then, Walker switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if Walker takes my stapler then I'll set the studio on fire...01:38 AYURIS: Witchstone (Martino Chiacchiera & Reiner Knizia, R&R Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:04:00 -Skytear Horde (Giacomo Neri and Riccardo Neri, Skytear Games, 2023)05:54 -Wizards of the Grimoire (Cole Banning and Joe Banning, Grimoire Games, 2022)09:15 -Codenames (Vlaada Chvátil, CGE, 2015)14:05 -Pala (Jeffrey D. Allers, Cambridge Games Fac

The mighty weremoose is a solitary creature, peaceable until roused to anger. Its only known predator is the American military deciding to once again invade Canada for reasons. When threatened, the weremoose rises to its full bipedal height of 6 meters, whereupon its sheer Chad-esque magnificence causes other creatures of the forest to quail and flee. Soldiers in the presence of this manifestation of the weremoose have been known to spontaneously reconsider their enlistment and retire on the spot.Games Played Last Week:01:45 -Cysmic (Jason Blake, Star Reach Games, 2023)12:26 -Summoner Wars (Second Edition) (Colby Dauch, Plaid Hat Games, 2021)16:21 -Weather Machine (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2022)18:02 -Skytear Horde (Giacomo Neri and Riccardo Neri, Skytear Games, 2023)21:04 -League of the Lexicon (Stavros Damos and Steven Noble, Two Brothers Games, 2021)26:02 -Turncoats (Matilda Simonsson, Milda Matilda Games, 2021)28:20 -Tribes of the Wind (Joachim Thôme, La Boîte de Jeu, 2022)News (and why it does

Everything's gotta be a competition. "I've seen better walls," scoffs the ingrate. "I've had darker ages," insists the depressive. "Well, I'm a Time Duke," growls the superstar Duke (esq., O.B.E.). It's all right, people. We can accept the superlatives without making it a contest.Games Played Last Week:00:58 -Dark Ages: Heritage of Charlemagne (Adam Kwapiński & Andrei Novac, Board&Dice, 2021)08:04 -Horizons of Spirit Island (Eric R. Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2022)09:10 -Keyflower (Sebastian Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)13:02 -Spots (Alex Hague, Jon Perry, and Justin Vickers, CMYK, 2022)14:07 -Gatefall: Lost in the North Woods (Jack Dire, Jack Dire Studios, 2022)17:52 -Time Barons (Jon Perry and Derek Yu, WizKids, 2014)19:44 -Light Speed (James Ernest and Tom Jolly, Cheapass Games, 2003)23:37 -Tiletum (Simone Luciani and Daniele Tascini, Board&Dice, 2022)25:21 -Summoner Wars (Second Edition) (Colby Dauch, Plaid Hat Games, 2021)News

This episode, as all episodes, is brought to you by our crack editorial team of semi-trained gibbons. Always go with gibbons. Cheaper than interns! More personable than rhesus! Less violent than capuchins! Better hygiene than Mark!Games Played Last Week:01:05 -Votes for Women (Tory Brown, Fort Circle Games, 2022)05:19 -Joan of Arc: Orléans Draw & Write (Ryan Hendrickson and Reiner Stockhausen, dlp Games, 2022)09:54 -Quantum (Eric Zimmerman, Funforge, 2013)11:54 -Gang of Dice (Reiner Knizia, Mandoo Games, 2022)14:25 -Libertalia: Winds of Galecrest (Paolo Mori, Stonemaier Games, 2022)16:49 -Hamlet: The Village Building Game (David Chircop, Mighty Boards, 2022)21:35 -Claustrophobia 1643 (Croc & Laurent Pouchain, Monolith, 2019)23:42 -Spots (Alex Hague, Jon Perry, and Justin Vickers, CMYK, 2022)24:51 -Piazza Rabazza (Guido Hoffman and Jens-Peter Schliemann, Zoch Verlag, 2022)28:45 -Findorff (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2022)33:36 -Nemesis: Lockdown (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2022)37:51 -Blue Lagoon

"And Blass is reeling from Yves Saint-Laurent's inverted atomic drop! But wait, who's that running towards the ring? IT'S THE BIG O! Oscar de la Renta is coming to the assistance of his tag-team partner! We thought Pierre Cardin had locked him backstage in his dressing room but no, here he is, steel chair in hand! And he levels YSL with one perfect shot to the head!!! Can you believe it? This the kind of action you can only see on pay-per-view in Versailles!" 01:24 AYURIS: Trickerion: Legends of Illusion (Richard Amann & Viktor Peter, Mindclash Games, 2015)Games Played Last Week:04:06 -Deities (Gary Kim, Mandoo Games, 2022)08:24 -Manhattan (Andreas Seyfarth, Hans im Glück, 1994)10:48 -Votes for Women (Tory Brown, Fort Circle Games, 2022)18:43 -Skytear Horde (Giacomo Neri and Riccardo Neri, Skytear Games, 2023)23:29 -Barony (Marc André, Matagot, 2015)24:49 -Don't L.L.A.M.A. Dice (Reiner Knizia, AMIGO, 2021)24:59 -Antike II (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2015)25:54 -Tribune (Karl-Heinz Schm

As employers, we gamers are a strange lot. We are expected to feed our workers, house them, give them their raw materials; we tell them where to go, when to work,a nd for how long; we subject them to fires, predation, starvation... and on top of all this, in some games we appear to confiscate all their wages! At least in Food Chain Magnate we occasionally allow them to go to the beach. Under strict supervision. Until we permit them the sweet release of death. I mean, until they "retire." Yeah, that sounds better.Games Played Last Week:01:24 -Air, Land, & Sea: Spies, Lies, & Supplies (Jon Perry, Arcane Wonders, 2022)02:59 -Tinners' Trail (Martin Wallace, Alley Cat Games, 2021)06:09 -Skytear Horde (Giacomo Neri and Riccardo Neri, Skytear Games, 2023)11:31 -Great Western Trail: Argentina (Alexander Pfister, eggertspiele, 2022)16:57 -The Stygian Society (Kevin Wilson, APE Games, 2020)21:56 -Company of Heroes (Bryan Kromley, Bad Crow Games, 2021)29:05 -Voyages (Matthew Dunstan and Rory Muldoon,

You like SVWAG? Their early work was a little too negative for my taste. But when SHUX came out in '20, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole podcast has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the episodes a big boost. They've been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think SVWAG has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '23, SVWAG released this; episode 251, their most accomplished episode. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "gullet regurgitation". An observation so catchy, most people probably don't think about the meaning. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of consumption and the importance of digestion. It's also a personal statement about the podcast itself. Hey, Walker!01:37 AYURIS: Whale Riders (Reiner Knizia, Grail Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:03:42 -Godtear (David Carl, Alex Hall, & Steve Margetson, Steamforged Games, 2019)08:30 -Aliens

I once saw a video of a woman driving a Shelby GT350 Mustang on the Autobahn. It hit 275 kph without breaking a figurative sweat, roaring its primal power the entire way. I was petrified even watching the video. This is to say nothing of the terror I felt seeing it take offramps at roughly 100 kph, which is not terribly advisable with a vehicle that is not known for its cornering. Of course, there are many sections of the Autobahn with speed limits--and even more with no Mustangs on it at all. Tragedies heaped upon tragedies.Games Played Last Week:00:54 -boop. (Scott Brady, Smirk & Laighter Games, 2022)01:53 -Bag of Chips (Mathieu Aubert and Théo Rivière, Mixlore, 2021)03:26 -Ginkgopolis (Xavier Georges, Pearl Games, 2012)05:32 -Street Masters: Aftershock (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2019)07:10 -Equinox (Reiner Knizia, Plan B Games, 2021)13:26 -Tammany Hall (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007) 17:44 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio and Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)22:19 -Yellow & Yangtze

A comprehensive list of what transpires in RRR would sound like the incoherent ramblings of someone undergoing a very potent trip, which is why we merely indulge in a curated list. While Mark does not retract his naming Decision to Leave as his favourite film of 2022, he will concede that it leads to a less absurdist discussion. It also features slightly fewer dance numbers. Games Played Last Week:01:21 -Astra (Patrik Porkoláb, Frigyes Schőberl, and Eszter Krisztina Sas, Mindclash Games, 2022) 03:37 -Much that Is Good and All that Is Evil (Jeeyon Shim, Jeeyon Shim Games, 2022)06:04 -Wonderland's War (Tim Eisner, Ben Eisner, & Ian Moss, Druid City Games, 2022)08:30 -Mosaic: A Story of Civilization (Glenn Drover, Forbidden Games, 2022)12:34 -Pax Ragnarok (Jon Moffat, Unpublished)17:53 -Street Masters: Twin Tiger (Brady Sadler and Adam Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2018)19:57 -The Crew: Mission Deep Sea (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter):22:22 Xoe Allred's Persuasion being dev