So Very Wrong About Games

You like SVWAG? Their early work was a little too negative for my taste. But when SHUX came out in '20, I think they really came into their own, commercially and artistically. The whole podcast has a clear, crisp sound, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the episodes a big boost. They've been compared to Elvis Costello, but I think SVWAG has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor. In '23, SVWAG released this; episode 251, their most accomplished episode. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "gullet regurgitation". An observation so catchy, most people probably don't think about the meaning. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of consumption and the importance of digestion. It's also a personal statement about the podcast itself. Hey, Walker!01:37 AYURIS: Whale Riders (Reiner Knizia, Grail Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:03:42 -Godtear (David Carl, Alex Hall, & Steve Margetson, Steamforged Games, 2019)08:30 -Aliens

I once saw a video of a woman driving a Shelby GT350 Mustang on the Autobahn. It hit 275 kph without breaking a figurative sweat, roaring its primal power the entire way. I was petrified even watching the video. This is to say nothing of the terror I felt seeing it take offramps at roughly 100 kph, which is not terribly advisable with a vehicle that is not known for its cornering. Of course, there are many sections of the Autobahn with speed limits--and even more with no Mustangs on it at all. Tragedies heaped upon tragedies.Games Played Last Week:00:54 -boop. (Scott Brady, Smirk & Laighter Games, 2022)01:53 -Bag of Chips (Mathieu Aubert and Théo Rivière, Mixlore, 2021)03:26 -Ginkgopolis (Xavier Georges, Pearl Games, 2012)05:32 -Street Masters: Aftershock (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2019)07:10 -Equinox (Reiner Knizia, Plan B Games, 2021)13:26 -Tammany Hall (Doug Eckhart, IDW Games, 2007) 17:44 -Marvel United (Andrea Chiarvesio and Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2020)22:19 -Yellow & Yangtze

A comprehensive list of what transpires in RRR would sound like the incoherent ramblings of someone undergoing a very potent trip, which is why we merely indulge in a curated list. While Mark does not retract his naming Decision to Leave as his favourite film of 2022, he will concede that it leads to a less absurdist discussion. It also features slightly fewer dance numbers. Games Played Last Week:01:21 -Astra (Patrik Porkoláb, Frigyes Schőberl, and Eszter Krisztina Sas, Mindclash Games, 2022) 03:37 -Much that Is Good and All that Is Evil (Jeeyon Shim, Jeeyon Shim Games, 2022)06:04 -Wonderland's War (Tim Eisner, Ben Eisner, & Ian Moss, Druid City Games, 2022)08:30 -Mosaic: A Story of Civilization (Glenn Drover, Forbidden Games, 2022)12:34 -Pax Ragnarok (Jon Moffat, Unpublished)17:53 -Street Masters: Twin Tiger (Brady Sadler and Adam Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2018)19:57 -The Crew: Mission Deep Sea (Thomas Sing, KOSMOS, 2021)News (and why it doesn't matter):22:22 Xoe Allred's Persuasion being dev

Our favourite Serge Laget game is Senji. "Senji" is a contraction of "Sengoku Jidai," or Warring States Period, which refers to over a century of near total civil war in Japan that started in 1467. Scholars differ as to when it ended, but mostly we can agree that it started when I traded Huey my grandpa in exchange for boats and then he shipped ol' gramps to Louis' estate. I found this out the hard way when my armies marched on Château Louis to be met with my ex-grandpa. I was a bit miffed, but I was able to use Huey's boat to steal his best stuff, so I guess I got over it. Besides, Dewey gave me Huey's son in exchange for some weapons.01:19 AYURIS: The Red Cathedral (Israel Cendrero & Sheila Santos, Devir Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:02:35 -Autobahn (Fabio Lopiano and Nestore Mangone, Alley Cat Games, 2022)08:57 -Soda Smugglers (Reiner Knizia, Bitewing Games, 2022)11:11 -Woodcraft (Ross Arnold and Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2022)12:37 -Chinatown (Karsten Hartwi

Ah, you dear internet pedants, I can hear your rapid and ever-present desire for infinite emendations and futile attempts to be comprehensive! "What of the expansion, uhm actually," you demand. We have little experience with the Ginkgopolis expansion, and while it adds several modules, they don't add much to the game--if you catch my subtle distinction.Games Played Last Week:01:18 -The Quest for El Dorado: The Golden Temples (Reiner Knizia, Ravensburger, 2019)05:52 -Heat: Pedal to the Metal (Asger Harding Granerud and Daniel Skjold Pedersen, Days of Wonder, 2022)11:00 -Last Message (Lee Ju-Hwa and Giung Kim, IELLO, 2021)15:05 -Hyperborea: Light and Shadow (Andrea Chiarvesio, Maurizio Vergendo, and Pierluca Zizzi, Asterion Press, 2016)19:10 -Ragnarocks (Gord!, Grey Fox Games, 2022)23:45 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2022)26:18 -Rauha (Johannes Goupy and Théo Rivière, GRRRE Games, 2023) 28:16 -For Sale (Stefan Dorra, Uberplay, 1997)30:41 -Woodcraft (Ross A

Welcome to our year-end eleganza extravaganza! Lists are compiled. Harsh truths confronted. For example, while one generally takes a while to acclimatize to the using the new year in dates, 2022 seemed immediately apt and people switched over effortlessly. 2023 still seems weird, though--as evidenced by the fact that we forgot to change our tags for our 2023 episodes thus far! How embarrassing.Games Played Last Week:01:32 -Good Puppers (Chris Cieslik, Asmadi Games, 2021)03:21 -Woodcrafters (Ross Arnold and Vladimír Suchý, Delicious Games, 2022)06:55 -Robotech: Reconstruction (Dr. Wictz, Strange Machine Games, 2023) 12:59 -Black Rose Wars (Marco Montanaro, Ludus Magnus Studio, 2019)18:46 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt--Pharaoh (Erc M. Lang, CMON, 2021)22:53 -Age of Industry (Martin Wallace, Treefrog Games, 2010) and Age of Industry Expansion: Belgium and USSR (Clause Sirois, Self-published, 2013)29:17 -Sentinels of the Multiverse (Christopher Badell, Paul Bender, & Adam Rebottaro, Greater Than Games, 2011)30:25 -Art

"I'm head of the classI'm popularI'm a quarter backI'm popularMy mom says I'm a catchI'm popularI'm never last pickedI'm in the Green Team cliqueBeing attractive is the most important thing there isIf you wanna catch the biggest fish in your pondYou have to be as attractive as possibleMake sure to keep your hair spotless and cleanWash it at least every two weeksOnce every two weeksAnd if you see Johnny Football Hero in the hallTell him he played a great gameTell him you liked his choice in the best of three"-Popular by Nada Surf,which ought to have been in the Green Team Wins rulebookGames Played Last Week:01:09 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2022)04:01 -Tiletum (Simone Luciani and Daniele Tascini, Board&Dice, 2022)08:18 -Green Team Wins (Nathan Thornton, 25th Century Games, 2022)10:55 -Terracotta Army (Przemysław Fornal and Adam Kwapiński, Board&Dice, 2022)17:54 -Paperback Adventures (Tim Fowers and Skye Larsen, Fowers

After much popular demand, we present to you the much-anticipated return of Masterpiece Theatre. Our esteemed patron--who is utterly unaware of our existence, such is his focus on his twin demesnes of fastness and furiousness--deserves no less. Of course, should His Grace, the Reverend Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, Esq. O.B.E. ever condescend to acknowledge us plebs, we would no doubt swoon from appreciation. We would cherish so much as a grunt! Or a cease and desist! Games Played Last Week:01:21 -Undaunted: Stalingrad (Trevor Benjamin and David Thompson, Osprey Games, 2022)05:33 -Time of Empires (David Simiand and Pierre Voye, Pearl Games, 2022)09:31 -Time Barons (Jon Perry and Derek Yu, WizKids, 2014)13:51 -Cat in the Box: Deluxe Edition (Muneyuki Yokouchi, Bézier Games, 2022)18:19 -Green Team Wins (Nathan Thornton, 25th Century Games, 2022)22:20 -One Deck Galaxy (Chris Cieslik, Asmadi Games, 2022)26:02 -G.I. Joe Deck-Building Game: Coldsnap Expansion (T.C. Petty III, Renegade Game Studios, 2022)29

We take no time off for Boxing Day here at SVWAG, a day so named because according to the common law of the King (still feels weird saying that) citizens of the Commonwealth are permitted to punch someone in the face on this day only. It's like a pugilistic The Purge but with the metric system and occasional poutine. The news this week features a number of exemplary game titles. Many a stellar game has crossed our paths purely on the strength of its name, whereas others are so generic as to defy searching. Go ahead, find R on Board Game Geek, or the game Quest. I dare you.01:59 AYURIS: Dominant Species Marine (Chad Jensen, GMT Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:04:50 -Oak (Wim Goossens, Game Brewer, 2022)10:59 -Weather Machine (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 2022)12:42 -Time of Empires (David Simiand and Pierre Voye, Pearl Games, 2022)23:10 -Wayfarers of the South Tigris (S J Macdonald and Shem Phillips, Garphill Games, 2022)26:40 -Persuasion (Xoe Allred, Unpublished)31:31 -Starship Captains (Peter B

All things in SVWAG are glorious, and that applies doubly for our glorious returns. We will also not be taking any additional breaks during the holidays! Yes, we can pledge an uninterrupted broadcast schedule through to the new year--leading directly to our annual end-of-year spectacular. And it shall be what, listeners? Say it with me,It shall be glorious.02:24 AYURIS: Bullet♥︎ (Joshua Van Laningham, Level 99 Games, 2021)Games Played Last Week:05:08 -Tidal Blades: Banner Festival (J.B. Howell and Michael Mihealsick, Druid City Games, 2022)08:12 -Riftforce: Beyond (Carlo Bortolini, 1 More Time Games, 2022)11:29 -Turing Machine (Fabien Gridel and Yoann Levet, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2022)17:27 -Roll Camera!: The Filmmaking Board Game (Malachi Ray Rempen, Keen Bean Studios, 2021)23:36 -John Company: Second Edition (Cole Wehrle, Wehrlegig Games, 2022)29:27 -Horizons of Spirit Island (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2022)33:20 -Terracotta Army (Przemysław Fornal and Adam Kwapiński, Board&Dice, 2022)35:37 -Pand

Sometimes a game's title leads to it being underplayed. Such is not the case for Carolus Magnus, whose chief downside might be the surplus of excellent aliases (Chuckie Mags, Charlie Big-Big, Carlos Grande, Caroolie Magoonie, et al). Planet Unknown, on the other hand, hardly sticks in one's memory. Planet Lazy Susan, though perhaps a bit clumsy, would have likely generated more interest and most definitely adhered to gamers' memory more.Games Played Last Week:01:06 -I.S.S. Vanguard (Andrzej Betkiewicz, Krzysztof Piskorski, Paweł Samborski, and Marcin Świerkot, Awaken Realms, 2022) 08:03 -Teotihuacan: City of Gods (Daniele Tascini & Dávid Turczi, NSKN Games, 2018)11:51 -Frostpunk: The Board Game (Adam Kwapiński, Glass Cannon Unplugged, 2022)24:07 -MicroMacro: Crime City--All In (Johannes Sich, Edition Spielwiese, 2022)27:27 -Endless Winter: Paleoamericans (Stan Kordonskiy, Fantasia Games, 2022)29:34 -Last Message (Lee Ju-Hwa and Giung Kim, IELLO, 2021)33:07 -Eriantys (Leo Colovini, Cranio Creat

Walker has yet to inform us what agenda the aliens are pursuing in Argentina during their relentless campaign of cow abduction. Do the alien overlords practise colonialism in the same way as their human counterparts? Do the inscrutable extraterrestrials differentiate between different humans, perhaps much as they differentiate between cows? Are their secret machinations behind the British East India Company as well? Walker, what are you hiding!01:54 AYURIS: Faiyum (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2020)Games Played Last Week:05:22 -Spire's End: Hildegard (Greg Favro, Favro Ventures, LLC., 2022)07:36 -Innovation (Carl Chudyk, Asmadi Games, 2010)07:44 -A Feast for Odin (Uwe Rosenberg, Feuerland Spiele, 2016)07:50 -Jetpack Joyride: Deluxe Edition (Michał Gołębiowski, Lucky Duck Games, 2019)08:12 -Ankh: Gods of Egypt (Eric M. Lang, CMON, 2021)08:35 -Whale Riders (Reiner Knizia, Grail Games, 2021)09:04 -Wavelength (Alex Hague, Justin Vickers, & Wolfgang Warsch, Palm Court, 2019)10:29 -Trick Shot (Second Editi

Say what you want about the evils of filthy lucre, but I find it amazing how managers turn communitarian and high-minded when it comes to fair remuneration. "Don't you believe in the project?" "Aren't you committed to the team?" et al get deployed all the time when people want to, you know, get compensated for their work. One can't help but notice that racialized workers and women get subjected to such nonsense at a higher-than-average rate. Volunteerism is noble and good, but stiffing workers is not. When someone is trying to elide the difference, you can bet that they're up to something.Games Played Last Week:01:12 -Wonderland's War (Tim Eisner, Ben Eisner, & Ian Moss, Druid City Games, 2022)04:36 -Fantasy Realms: Deluxe Edition (Bruce Galssco, WizKids, 2022)08:55 -Lands of Galzyr (Seppo Kuukasjärvi and Sami Laakso, Snowdale Design, 2022)12:12 -Horizons of Spirit Island (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2022)15:25 -Weather Machine (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games

Most of those time loop movies, while enjoyable, lack any degree of verisimilitude--clearly the chief use of a power to undo time or back up would be to get another chance at not saying something terribly stupid and embarrassing. One wonders if such time travelers would have a yet deeper reservoir of memories of sounding like a total cretin, even though those utterances were never said in the actual timeline (setting aside the multiverse version of time travel, or the "Infinite Douchebag" theory).01:33 AYURIS: Anachrony: Fractures of Time (Richard Amann, Viktor Peter, Dávid Turczi, & Mindclash Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:03:56 -Free Ride (Friedemann Friese, 2F-Spiele, 2021)10:36 -Embryo Machine (Giguru Akiguchi and Toshimitsu Shigaki, LionWing Publishing, 2018)11:31 -Monolyth (Phil Walker-Harding, CMON, 2022)13:58 -Arcana Rising (Tim Armstrong, Grey Fox Games, 2021)18:17 -Skymines (Viktor Kobilke and Alexander Pfister, Deep Print Games, 2022)24:18 -Soda Smugglers (Reiner Knizia, Bitewing Ga

"Let us go then, you and I,When the board is spread out against the tableLike a beast euthanized inside a stable;Let us go, through certain half-deserted tracks,The muttering attacksDuring restless nights of one-play bad gamesAnd sepia box lids with familiar names:Rules that follow like a tedious argumentOf soporific intentTo lead you to an overwhelming question ...Oh, do not ask, “What to play?”Let us go and have our say.In the room the gamers come and stayTalking of Asmodee."-The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock Games Played Last Week:00:55 -Keep the Heroes Out (Luís Brüeh, Brueh Games, 2022)06:49 -Air, Land, & Sea: Spies, Lies, & Supplies (Jon Perry, Arcane Wonders, 2022)11:46 -Skymines (Viktor Kobilke and Alexander Pfister, Deep Print Games, 2022)15:00 -Calimala (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)18:46 -Resist! (Trevor Benjamin, Roger Tankersley, and David Thompson, Salt & Pepper Games, 2022)21:25 -Tindaya (Lolo González, Red Mojo, 2022)26:04 -Oathsworn: Into the Dee

Replete with a robust menagerie in this episode, we perhaps begin to see why anthropomorphic animals seem to feature in every other game lately. We have Dalmations (plus a cow named Doog trying to impersonate a Dalmation), horsies, goats, weasels and wombats (seldom do we see such an august alliteration!), meeses (not to be confused with mooses), and some needed stinkin' badgers. Not a great petting zoo, sure--of limited utility in a game of Ark Nova--but an impressive collection nonetheless.Games Played Last Week:02:05 -Spots (Alex Hague, Jon Perry, and Justin Vickers, CMYK, 2022)02:20 -Long Shot: The Dice Game (Chris Handy, Perplext, 2022)03:37 -Mountain Goats (Stefan Risthaus, BoardGameTables.com, 2020)06:10 -Mysterium Park (Oleksandr Nevskiy and Oleg Sidorenko, Libellud, 2020)09:08 -Oathsworn: Into the Deepwood (Jamie Jolly, Shadowborne Games, 2022)15:50 -Weasel-Tech (Ivan Sorensen, Nordic Weasel Games, 2021)21:22 -Hand-to-Hand Wombat (Matthew Inman, Elan Lee, & Cory O'Brien, Exploding Kittens

We apologize for the all-caps implied yelling, but really, given this volume we had to have a corresponding... uh, volume. The puns are also somewhat fishy--but those you can feel free to skip, jack. The nautical theme doesn't end with fishing, as the recent Crash Octopus (when compared with older titles that are comparatively crusty) shone. More specifically given that it's about an octopus and we want to minimize the yelling, it's a safe, low pod. Wait, no, that's the wrong family. If you wanna shop in latin... you mall, usque?I'll see myself out. 1:04 AYURIS: Trick Shot (Nikita Krylov & Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2021)Games Played Last Week:03:27 -Lords of Hellas: Dark Ages Expansion (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2019)09:43 -Hallertau (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2020)12:27 -Keep the Heroes Out (Luís Brüeh, Brueh Games, 2022)17:37 -Nusfjord (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2017)21:49 -Santa Maria (Eilif Svensson and Kristian Amundsen Østby, Aporta Games, 2017)25:47 -Spots (

Live at SHUX 2022, we are joined with extra-special guest Quinns from Shut Up and Sit Down! He was clearly thrilled to be with us, as evinced by the following exchange:Mark: "We're professionals, Quinns."Quinns: "Citation needed."02:26 AYURIS: Hallertau (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:05:11 -The Siege of Runedar (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2021)09:00 -Marrakesh (Stefan Feld, Queen Games, 2022)14:18 -Endless Winter: Paleoamericans (Stan Kordonskiy, Fantasia Games, 2022)20:24 -Sidereal Confluence 10m22s (TauCeti Deichmann, Wizkids, 2017)25:49 -Regicide (Paul Abrahams, Luke Badger, & Andy Richdale, Badgers from Mars, 2020)26:10 -Caverna: The Cave Farmers (Uwe Rosenberg, Lookout Games, 2013)28:31 -Master Word (Gérald Cattiaux, Le Scorpion Masqué, 2020)News (and why it doesn't matter):32:42 Terraforming Mars: Dice Game32:57 Reprint of Yellow & Yangtze: Huang by PHALANX35:07 Temple of Horrors: Dungeon crawling with shuffleboard combat36:55 October 27th is Akh

We apologize for the poor quality of Mark's half of the audio this week. We offer two possible explanations. One is that Walker, motivated as he is by spite and malice, engaged in an elaborate act of sabotage so as to undermine Mark in public. The other is that Mark (the editor, mind you) messed up the audio settings. I agree that the latter is too improbable, too conspiratorial, to take seriously--but we include it for the sake of comprehensiveness. Games Played Last Week:01:32 -Twilight Inscription (James Kniffen, FFG, 2022)05:15 -Heaven & Ale (Michael Kiesling & Andreas Schmidt, eggertspiele, 2017)07:59 -Blood Rage (Eric Lang, CMON, 2015)09:07 -Fun Facts (Kasper Lapp, Repos Production, 2022)12:17 -Albedo: Space Pirates! (Kai Herbertz, Herbertz Entertainment UG, 2018)13:44 -51st State: Master Set (Ignacy Trzewiczek, Portal, 2016)14:31 -Renegade (Richard Wilkins, Victory Point Games, 2018)17:31 -Flamecraft (Manny Vega, Cardboard Alchemy, 2022)19:42 -Massive Darkness 2: Heavenfall (Alex Olteanu &a

001You approach a door. Test perception. If you fail, go to paragraph 105. If you succeed, go to paragraph 166.105You fail to notice a sharp thing, so you step on it and take 1 wound. Go to paragraph 166.166On the other side of the door are things you must kill for reasons. Dig out tiles 2B, 4A, 6A, 8B and 12B and get ready for some paperwork.02:23 AYURIS: Tungaru (Louis Malz & Stefan Malz, Alley Cat Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:03:48 -Blood Rage (Eric Lang, CMON, 2015)06:29 -Wormholes (Peter McPherson, Alderac Entertainment Group, 2022)09:16 -Envelopes of Cash (Andy Schwarz, Envelopes of Cash LLC, 2022)13:52 -Fateforge: Chronicles of Kaan (Gordon Calleja, Mighty Boards, 2023)18:44 -Albedo: Yggdrasil (Kai Herbertz, Herbertz Entertainment UG, 2019)22:47 -Anachrony: Fractures of Time (Richard Amann, Viktor Peter, Dávid Turczi, & Mindclash Games, 2020)27:58 -Trudvang Legends (Jordy Adan, Fel Barros, Guilherme Goulart, Eric M. Lang, Marco Maggi, Francesco Nepitello, Umberto Pignatelli, & Fabio T