Hearty Dice Friends

We answer player & GM gripes, suggest the best use of balsa wood to fool a problem player and examine Hey Arnold as an Urbanomancer. Hugs & Kisses - G & C

A dramatic reading of a Google Chrome translation of an official Japanese Games Workshop website detailing the adventures of a group of proud and noble Space Marines.

It's time to learn our most valued secret technique - how to not go utterly deranged at conventions. We helpfully released it the week after Nine Worlds ran in London, so you've got a full year to practice. Okay? Okay, Lots of love, - Grant and Chris

We ran out of questions. Grant was off on his holidays so we didn't have time to get a fresh shipment of questions in. So we turn to twitter for game ideas. You people over-delivered. XoXoX G&C

Hoo-ey, these are some HOT BOYS! These boys are juicy! These boys are ready to dispense sweat AND roleplaying wisdom! Get a load of these boys, everyone!

What happened to episode 69? I'll tell you: we had to put it away in a special vault. It was simply too sexy. Anyway, in this week's episode: - Fixing the quagmire that is Play-by-Post - Fuckable boats - Do mimics have children? - What to play after D&D? - Seducing a wall-monster And many more! We adore you. - Grant (also Chris)

You can get a lot of leverage over someone simply by stealing their dog. Also in this episode: - Writing your first adventure - Fuck/Marry/Kill the Spire PC classes - Two different kinds of difficult player - Why isn't levelling up the players' decision? And several more. We adore you. Come over here and we'll give you a gentle hug. - G+C

Who says trolls can't be lawyers, too? Not us. Also in this week's episode: - Replacing Monks - Pick-and-mix classless - Copyrighted hands - Gelatinous cubes And several more. Lots of love, - G+C

Grant's a bit obsessed with bingo this week. In other news: - Which dice would make the most considerate lover? - How do you handle different levels of character power or authority in a party? - Making death meaningful - Making Cthulhu & Friends scary again Two fat ladies! Dinner for two! The Lawnmower! - Grant and Chris

We talk at length about: - M Theory, one of the fundamental theories of physics - Flat Earth Theory, the TRUTH behind the globalist conspiracy - Robot Wars, and how we'd make it better even though it was really good in the first place Thank you all for your ongoing support. We love you. Come here, you. - G+C

One's got snakes on her head and turns you to stone; the other really puts the BEEF in beefcake. But which one do you want to bone down with? We ask, and subsequently answer, the REAL QUESTIONS. Also on this week's show: - When does a game become a game? - Secret door mechanisms? - Alternative Cyberpunk settings? - RPG reboots? And very little more. We adore you. Come here and let us give you a big kiss on the forehead. - G

Listen: when you share a hotel room, you gotta show the other guy you mean business. Don't fuck around. We're here to help. Also in this episode: - Reversing properly out of flashbacks - Underwater adventures? - How to do mystery plots - Everything that's wrong with Skill Lists - And many more We adore you. - G+C

Remember your first time? Your first time roleplaying, obviously. We do, and we give you all the insight and advice you need to make your first time a special time. Even if you've been roleplaying for years, there's probably something useful for you in here! Also featuring: - Which two monsters should you mush together to create a better, incredibly-powerful monster - Summery adventures for hot hot nights - Biting off more than you can chew as a GM - Just yelling about tool proficiencies for a few minutes And several more! We've been at UKGE all weekend! We're so tired! Pretty sure that Chris died a couple of times! Much love, - Grant and Chris

WHAT UP SON, it's your boys Checkbox and Huge Uncle coming to you LIVE from Hearty Dice Towers. Rolling out hot and fresh this week: - A new intro that we will not repeat! - Renaming the classic D&D races and classes - How much say should players have over the campaign? - Ideas for SPOOKY aliens! - Terrible Shadowrunner names! - Monsters as pets? Yes! - Teaching roleplaying to full classes of schoolchildren And many more, BOIIII - Checkbox (aka D10 System, aka Big Roller, aka Critical Mister)

We're plumbing new depths of what's possible in the medium of podcasts. For example: we have a nine-minute cold open in this episode, and it has a secret hidden ending. Except: seeing as it's an MP3 file we couldn't hide it, per se, so it's just immediately before the actual ending. Anyway, on this week's show: - Learning the secrets of magic - Paragliding in Paraguay - Tactically rich play - Seducing a frost giant - Match-based RPG systems - Chuck Tingle Writes An RPG - Werewolf Unicorn: Tumblr Superhero And many more. We love you. Thank you for indulging us. - Grrrrrrrrant and Chris

Just imagine it. A hen that works in accounts! A goose that's a pilot! Comedy gold. Anyway, we also give advice about: - Pretend kissing - Editing softcore pornography - Playing with strangers - Terrible one-shots - Getting people to act rather than just talking about it And many more! We adore you. - Grant and Chris

We've finally earned enough money for Chris to protect his delicate gums. Also on this show: - Exhaustion vs Desperation - Reverse levelling??? - Mum and Dad and roleplaying - Player (character) death - Also, we fix football And many more. We adore you. - Grant and Chris

Mate, you wanna get that owl looked at. It's gone septic. Yeah mate, the whole thing. Nasty business. In this week's episode: - Surprising your players with a horror game - High fantasy olympics - Druid curses - Considering how successful Star-Crossed Lovers is, how can we jump on that bandwagon And many more! Much love, - G-Machine and the C-Lion

We design Jason Statham's Big Vacation, live on air. If you're interested in seeing how the roleplaying sausage is made, and also in hearing me mispronounce "Jason Statham" a lot, then this is the podcast episode for you. - Grant

Piracy: it's just wet theft. You know it. We know it. It's time to stop pretending. On this week's episode: - When is a game a roleplaying game? - Backstory ideas for becoming "magic" - Worst character? - Storing notes on bunk beds! - "Pirate" "games" And many more. We love you. Hugs and kisses, - G+C