Hearty Dice Friends

We learned how to do the audio properly, finally, after 131 episodes. Are you enjoying our non-capping, silky smooth voices? Do you like the way we "reduced" the "noise" on this one? Did you appreciate the way that we used the dark magic known as "EQ," whatever that is? In this week's episode: - Teaching players the rules, and why it's the worst - At what stage of development are you allowed to play a game in your homebrew world? - Inhabiting your characters through better posture: A Primer - Mimic Husbandry - Some sort of cyberpunk game where the Hamburglar hunts you across rain-slicked neon rooftops with twin buzzing vibroblades We love you. - Grant and Chris

Is it spooky in here, or is it just us? Ahahahah. We're a day late for Halloween, but don't let that stop you from soiling yourself in terror on account of the many scary things in this episode, like: - Death, and why you'd choose it - Horror mechanics? - Your house being overrun by rabid doctors - John Craven's War Raven - Campaigns that go on too long And many more. We adore you. Skeletons. Yes. - The Ghosts of Grant and Chris

Gosh, would you look at the time? It's Hearty Dice Friends o'clock, and we're here to dispense wisdom and game design scattershot across the internet. Also: Grant's mic is a bit borked for the first ten minutes, but he fixes it after that and it sounds great, we promise. In this week's show: - Examples of play, and why they're all lies - Campaign starts - Rotating bossfight floorplans - Whatever the opposite of cyberpunk is - Chirocopter - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SACK OF WASPS - A CBBC drama about the undead Much love, - Grant and Chris

We're bringing a Very Strange Energy to the podcast this week as we're recording in the last hour of our Kickstarter in an attempt to take our minds off it. Does it work? Well, you be the judge. In this episode: - NPCs chatting away in combat - Rumours, and how not to use them - Should the players roll dice for the GM? - Tea Parties! Also we design a game about vampires but then it's about orks and, folks, it would be *very good.* All our love, - Grant and Chris

It's our birthdays! Well; it's not actually either of our birthdays, but it either was recently or will be soon, so it's a birthday special - by which we mean we answer your party-themed questions. We also design a game about tricking Jason Statham into fighting an orc. Much love, - Grant and Chris

Apologies for the audio quality on this one. And the advice quality. The song quality is great, though, as Special Guest Mary Hamilton performs all the classics live and unedited - Hearty Dice Friends Intro, Grant and Chris Make Games jingle, and of course the classic Delightful D (Old Hearty Dice Friends Intro). On this week's episode: - Impostor syndrome - Losing as a GM - 200w RPGs, and will they ever generate anything worth playing - Best non-dice resolution mechanic - Hitman, but you set up romances instead of killing people, but just to be clear you also kill a bunch of people - Good Buy, Cruel World - a series of David Dickinson horror games - Magical Girl Emergency, which is a cross between Instagram and an Amber Alert and it's gonna make us into MILLIONAIRES, BABY Much love, back to a proper recording environment next week, - Grant and Chris

Terb, our lord and saviour, has returned from the void to bless us once with their inestimable glory in the form of several questions. We answered them all in one go. IN THIS WEEK'S EPISODE: - Charles Dance aerobics - What even IS a luge, anyway - What if, right, supermarkets were post-apocalypse religious cults - The first ten years of marriage, as D&D monsters - Masterblasterchef - Fire Sale - THE VVICK We love you. Please buy our game. - Grant and Chris

Frankendad realise that turning up on a thread and saying "NOT ALL MEN" is part of problem; Frankendad understand and respect frustration from those worst affected by the Kyriarchy. Frankendad has some literature that Frankendad think would really help give perspective on the problems you are facing. Advice: Excluding cantrips, what is the first spell you would want to learn? What is the worst die? How can you tell if you're any good at GMing or if you're just the only one in the group willing to do it. What new fighting style would you create for D&D? Design: A game where Vin Diesel really needs to go to the toilet A solid ten minutes just doing Frankendad We love you. In a good way! You get me? You get me. - G+C

We need to steal the Declaration of Independence, and there's only one man that can do it. And that man is FIVE MEN. Questions answered: Your biggest fuck-ups as a GM? Each session people tell me they like my games setting, so how can I use the setting to garner more interest in the game? What franchise would you most like to see an RPG for (and who would you like to publish it?) What's the best plot twist you've ever given your players? Games Envisaged: Byker Grove Mice from Mars Dick Rugburn PI Kink Shaman Nick Uncaged Much love, - Grant and Chris

It's the natural evolution of cricket - a nightmare arms-race culminating in a single player, a suitcase nuke and a wide array of electronic countermeasures. Also featuring: ADVICE: - How can you get new players to roleplay? - Are we in a Golden Age of tabletop? - Feeling bad after a player used the X Card? GAMES: - A strange quadrilogy where you clean ghosts out of an office - Honestly it's just cyberpunk cricket for most of the episode - It's pretty good, we just really focused in on it Much love, - Grant and Chris

HE is a dashing well-to-do gentleman and the seventh son of a seventh son. SHE is an interdimensional rift to a land of torment wrapped in buckling human skin. Will he find love? Will she feed him to the furies on the night of the blood moon? Let's find out! Questions answered: - When does failure stop being fun? - Scariest number of eyes? - Sliding into DMs, but the kind with dice - Experience points, and the many things we don't like about them Games designed: - Supermarket Malfeasance - Ballroom Blitz: The Movie: The Roleplaying Game - "These are the hands of a killer!" - Fish Cannon Tycoon And many more. Well. Several more. Okay: two more. We love you. Hop on our motorcycle and drive away with us into the sunset. - Chris and Grant

Water into blood? Red food colouring, mate. Flies? Just chuck raisins about. Darkness? Pick an overcast day. This divine judgement lark is easy once you know what you're doing. Also in this week's episode: - Gencon "report" - Drivethru RPG, and their demon hold over the industry - Spell components: the worst, or the *worst?* - Writing open-ended settings for fun and profit - Shoggoth "Farming" - Work-Mandated Escape Rooms And many more. We love you more than we can say. - Grant and Chris

We're in the same place! We're going to Gencon tomorrow. We're both a little nervous. Also: we didn't edit this one at all, so please enjoy this raw, unalloyed delivery from your good hearty boys. This week, we invent a game about nested dramatic last-second reveals. But not without also discussing: Kaijuice Bar, the Kaiju Juice Bar; Race 2: The Sequel To Racing; Cavity Search And Rescue; BuckingSLAM Palace; Crash Test Dumbledore; and, presumably, others. Much love, - Grant and Chris

Strap on your hoverboots and jet, credsnatcher! These chummers are all skadding akimbo and we need to detac allegro or we're sharkmeat - you downloadin' this, muchacho? Anyway. This week we visit the near future and create a game where you have to lie about knowing what computers do, but not before: - Dealing with RPG Burnout - Sexy RPGs for Bedroom Times - Hiding rolls from your players - Lies about the roleplaying game industry - Gordon Ramsey's Literal Kitchen Nightmares - Bear Gryll's All-Inclusive Survival - Charlotte Church's Late-Night Pop Dungeon And many more! We love you. Be good. Keep drinking water. - Grant and Chris

As per usual we do the thing where we answer questions, then we get to the bit where we muck about with game ideas that you lovely people have sent in. The question bit includes: Just how NSFW do you get? Monster barometers GM seating plans While the game design bit includes: McNab Drag Statham gets another game. Terminators of endearment Seagull Magnate That Jesus game Grant posted on Twitter Squirrel Thoughts We super love you all, not just for maybe listening to us, but also the weird thoughts you give us every week. G & C

HONK HONK it's "your boys" Chris and Grant back at it once again, inevitably so, with more roleplaying-adjacent cruft for your soft, delicate earholes. This week: ADVICE GIVEN: - What to do when your player won't tell you their backstory - Is it okay to steal things from other games? (Yes) - Which schools of magic should be illegal? GAMES DESIGNED: - No-One Can Know I Don't Have Superpowers - Save The World Without Waking Up Your Cat - Booze at Ten with Trevor McDonald - Coney Lingus - Destroy The World With Your Superior Gayness Much love, - Grant & Chris

Back once again with ill behavior is Grant and Chris! This week: Nice boys and boys who are not nice. Roleplaying passivity. A modern Warlock with a modernish) patron. "Balance" Also Meet Little Chris. The John Wicks. Chivalry hotdog. Concert Sleuth. Go forth with the knowledge we have provided and bestow it others! Alternatively just do what the podcasts says and watch the weird Subway advert. G&C

Welcome back, Hearty Dice Friends! (Are you the Friends? Are WE the Friends? Are any of us, strictly speaking, Hearty? Anyway.) We're here. On this week's episode: QUESTIONS ANSWERED: - Unlucky characters - Boxed text, the curse of the genre - Ghosts? - World Lawyers: GAMES DESIGNED: - Dave Bautista's Big Damn Birthday - Sunday Opening Hours: The Game - Murder Hockey - Listen Don't Ask Any Questions, What Just Happened Was Part of the Plan - And a game in which Guy Fieri hunts you through a cyclopean supermarket for what he believes is sport Much love, - Grant and Chris

Chris has become addicted to escape room board games, but there's NO ESCAPE from how good this week's episode is! Ah ha. Anyway. Questions answered: Shotguns and hope A creaky witch and a shower head. A decade is TOO LONG Anime Ostrich Games Designed: The Fast and the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them H-List villains Football Vs. FootBall Vs. Football Vs. Hockey John Wicked Big love, Grant and Chris

Look: it's the best name we could come up with. If you can come up with a better one, just... keep it to yourself, okay? In this week's episode: - Dealing with not being the GM's best-loved player - Favourite mechanical archetypes - How to spot a bad RPG - Ainsley Harriott's Racing Chariots - "Seriously, who keeps covering James MacAvoy's Dog in Jam?" - Bootleggers and Minotaurs And several more! We love you. Come here - you've got something on your jumper. Oh- there you go. Now off you pop to school. - Grant and Chris