Here's My Number, So Call Me Ishmael

Join us as we reveal the 2016 word-of-the-year! It's "cuckold." Tony, Austin, and Lucas try to start a barbershop quartet but are thwarted by the inner machinations of Skype. The Book of Revelation would have been much better  if it had been written by the Apostle Hall (of Hall and Oates). Spoiler: Tony ruins the end of Weeds. Even though this episode is about time, it's one of our shortest; almost as suspicious as Tony bringing up Alice IN Wonderland again, even though he "hates it."

From a dark hole deep beneath Boston comes Bart Tocci and his many personalities (including an Australian citizen trying to learn Italian and a Great Lakes shipwreck historian). Bart wanted this to be better than Lauren’s episode, but comedy is subjective so we’ll see. Tony’s motivations for creating the podcast become clear (it’s for puns). Our first a callback joke consists of Tony saying the world “well.” The second HALF of this episode is a soon-to-be-short-lived segment called “accents.” If a celery stalk falls in a forest, is it a vegetable and does anyone care?

Whooo's that laaady (Who's that lady)? It's our first guest, active listener Lauren Boersma! And her quiver is full of arrows, tipped with a bittersweet poison; an absurd amount of knowledge about Disney sequels. Come to think of it, we should have consulted her about our Bambi prequel. She also does other things, like read, teach, and volunteer! Start this new chapter with us. It's like the Three Musketeers, if one of the Musketeers was different every week.

"Dinner is cancelled due to lack of hustle. Deal with it." Just kidding; we out here and we talking about buds that have been nipped before their time. That isn't a "Turn On" joke, but it might as well be. Der Führer makes an appearance this week, and also we talk about Hitler on the podcast. Wink, wink. Tune in as we alienate our one British listener. If you are looking for a podcast that DOESN'T discuss grammar and spelling, keep your coat on, walk back out the door, and pop in next time. We still love you.  

We finally give "pace" a chance in this episode about cadence and those brave boys who keep it. Goku and Thom Yorke come up in conversation, and we get an important reminder from our chief inspiration and American buried treasure, Harper Lee. Austin doesn't remember the Snake Way saga of Dragon Ball Z very well. Tony cautions you about the mild teen content present in the Drumline franchise. The Brady Bunch make Pentatonix look like a bunch of atonal chumps.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent, and so we turn to the game of chess as the ultimate arbiter of disputes and generator of mirth. In this rather esoteric episode, Ingmar Bergman is discussed, we debate the pronunciation of Frederick Nietzsche, and Tony tells Austin how bad at chess Austin is, according to the official chess player ranking system (The Electric Light Orchestra.) First guest next week, probably.  

True to our word from last week, this episode takes a dip into the silky molten metal fondue that is the Transformers franchise, but not before a long conversation about Wishbone, a short conversation about Kelly Clarkson, an exposè on Neil Young's M&M obsession, and the long-awaited reveal of Tony's debit card information. No guest stars yet. Soon.

Our first episode! Has nothing to do with the film "Arrival" but thank you for asking. Alan Rickman (rest in peace), Ayn Rand (...), and Bruce Bogtrotter (hero) come up in conversation. No guest stars yet.