It's Not Casablanca

In honor of our movie's subject, we're not even going to try to be talkative here.

We break all the rules for Star Wars in a special extra-long show. Well, there's really only two rules, but we do break both of them.

Let's see how delicately we can put this: holy shit this movie is amazing.

DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAH DAH DAH! Sorry, all I can think of is the James Bond Theme over and over again. Because this movie is so awesome.

Anyone else think feel like before it was a Spielberg movie "Bridge of Spies" sounds like it would have been a hair-metal power ballad? "On a BRIIIIIIIIIIDGE... of SPIIIIII-EEEE-IIIIIIEEEEESS!"   Just me?

It's like a riddle: if you make a ghost movie that doesn't really have anything to do with ghosts, will people hate it? (Spoiler: god let's hope so.)

MATT DAMON! GET YOUR ASS TO MARS!Wait. You already did. That's the problem. Carry on.

Chicaaaaaago, Chicaaaaago, that toddlin' town... What, sorry, I was singing old Sinatra songs to take my mind off this tire fire of a movie.

New podcast contest: some sort of silly non-prize to the best person who can come up with a spelling for that noise that Ian McKellen makes. Also, hey, Sherlock Holmes is fun.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to make a good Mission Impossible movie when your name isn't Brian DePalma or Brad Bird.   It is called Mission IMPOSSIBLE, mind.

We started working on this podcast 10 years ago and somehow it STILL isn't finished.

You know, at some point, there's only so many robots you can send back in time.

You wouldn't think the word "offensive" would get thrown around so many times as regards a movie about dinosaurs. And yet, here we are.

The return of Max Rockatansky brings the first true split decision to our fair podcast, and it's a 29-28/29-28/30-27 humdinger. Nobody in the movie wears seatbelts and neither did we, and those were mistakes.

We finally get around to seeing Joss Whedon's little indie remake of Pinocchio. It goes pretty well, all things considered.

It's about family.

Jupiter Ascending is what you get when you take really bad acid, and then fall down a flight of stairs, and then make a movie.

It turns out that ignorance does in fact have some unexpected virtues, one of which is deciphering Alejandro Innaritu's Birdman. We mean deciphering in the fun way. That's a thing, right?

Spoiler: Bradley Cooper and Clint Eastwood are really, really, really good. (This, admittedly, is not much of a spoiler.)

It turns out that we do not, in fact, know when to fold them. Which is why we saw the deeply-flawed remake of The Gambler starring Mark Wahlberg. And why we make that joke. Yeah, we know. We apologize.