Empowered Couples

What is the bare minimum to expect in a marriage? You likely read that question and think about your expectations about your partner… However this is actually about what to expect from yourself!  There are a lot of social media comments on relationship posts that judge the portrayal of a partner. That shows that most people think about what changes a partner needs to make in order to better meet one’s own needs. But that is quite backward. In this episode you will hear 6 traits that are the bare minimum to expect within yourself if you want to be a good partner. Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 14th, 2024 for Valentines Day - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. Find all our other guides and resorces here on our website resoruces page

You have heard about the "7 Year Itch" in a marriage. Though that was the name of a Marilyn Monroe movie in 1955, studies have shown that a couples satisfaction in marriage hits a low around 10 years into a marriage. Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 10 years, or 30+ years, you’ll get a lot out of this episode by understanding what couples lose sight of and causes an increase of dissatisfaction.  We dive into: What the studies say about the “peak of dissatisfaction” being around year 10 together The actions that lead a couple to these rough patches What to do about it so you two can stay satisfied or boost it up, no matter how long you’ve been together.  As you listen, make sure you join our upcoming 30-Day Couples Challenge here.

Are attachment styles fixed? This is the essence of all the questions and messages we received after last week’s episode on attachment style, behaviors, and needs. This required a Part 2 episode this week where you will hear how to overcome your avoidant or anxious style pasts and tendencies.  Not only is attachment style not fixed, it’s a range, and can be very situational. You may have created a secure relationship experience for both of you, but circumstances and your environment can have you fall back into insecure behaviors that remind you of your past. Today we share more of our own back stories of being anxious and avoidant, how those would creep back in over the years, and 5 ways to move yourselves back into that secure attachment experience you are used to operating in together!   Resources:  Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Feb 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful commu

Attachment is a key term and principle for relationships and refers to the way in which you bond and connect with your partner. The theory of Attachment Style has become much more popular in recent years from its conception by John Bowlby in 1969. Though many are familiar with the Secure and Insecure categorizations and the insecure types of avoidant, anxious, and fearful; people are not so familiar with the attachment needs and behaviors that are as critical.  All of this as a theory can feel very conceptual so in this episode you will hear even more depth about the attachment needs, and behaviors so that you can take more practical action to move in the direction of a secure relationship experience. Even if you are securely attached with your partner you will hear how to maintain this on a range of relationship confidence and trust.   Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice: The Family Meeting guide and tempaltes. The Steps to Rebuild a Marriage guide      3. All of our resources are her

What is Love in a very practical sense? We hear people say “we fell in love” or “we fell out of love”... so what is causing this experience of love? Or why do couples start to feel more like roommates? As the years pass, it can be easier to fall into what is called “empty love” or “friendship love” and miss the 3rd element of love that we all crave. So dive into today’s episode where you’ll hear: The 3 components of love Variations of relationships that have one or 2 components but are missing the 3rd How to maintain “complete love” encompassing all 3 components   Also, utilize our resources to put this into practice: Our "Prioritize Us" 30-Day Couples Challenge is open for just a couple more days. The Family Meeting guide for weekly, quarterly, and yearly check-ins      3. Or see all of our resources are here (including in-person events & coaching)

The one thing that the beginning of a year allows you to do is draw a clear line in the sand. It’s a psychological distinction to review your last 12 months and see how well you executed on your game plan. Some do this for work, for individual achievements, as sports teams, and it is very powerful to do for your marriage.  In this episode you will hear how to go through a Yearly Check-in to start off your new year. This will allow you to reestablish your core values, set your vision and goals, and remove any old distractions and barriers that didn’t serve you from the previous year.   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. PLUS you get the Family Meeting Guide as a Bonus FAMILY MEETING GUIDE: The  step-by-step guide to having your family meeting, with templates for weekly, quarterly, and the yearly

Parenting definitely shifts priorities, but that shouldn’t mean we de-prioritize our marriage, right? This week was our daughter’s 2nd birthday and we were reflecting on our own parenting journey up until this point. We know from many couples that parenting really does shift many things in a marriage, even studies have shown that satisfaction goes down in the first 5 years of becoming parents. Though there are so many great positives that also come with being a parent, in this episode you will hear about the challenges that we have faced in the first 2 years, the common challenges other parents face, and the steps to take to better handle these challenges. All so that they do not negatively impact your marriage and you can focus more on all the benefits of being a parent and a great partner.   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving act

If you have listened to the podcast at all you probably have thought “Yes, I get the importance of validating my partner but HOW exactly do I do that?” Even if this is your first time listening you likely have the same question about how to have your partner feel validated in their experience especially when you do not agree with their feelings or details of an event!  Validating a partner is a difficult thing to do because you will not always see (or experience) events the same way. You also might feel as if they are blaming you for how they feel, which makes it more difficult to validate because it seems you have to take the blame. In this episode you will hear 7 easy actions to take to have your partner feel validated but also understand the real importance of validation on positive influence!   Resources For Your Relationship: Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2024 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize lovin

All Work & No Play Makes For A Dull Marriage. If you’re like most of the couples we talk to, you’ve been working at overcoming patterns and challenges that have kept you stuck and in frustrating cycles. Many couples even say, “I’m so exhausted” or “When do we get back to more fun times?” If you have ever seen the movie Moneyball, it’s just clicking in a few key aspects so that you can get on a winning streak! In this episode you will hear a brief answer for why you might feel like you’re on a losing streak, but how you can use the same ideas to turn it into a winning streak. Then we give you categories that you can take an action in to keep the positive momentum going.   Resources For Your Relationship: 1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Jan 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication. 2)STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuildi

We were not going to leave the men out from last week’s episode about what women need in a marriage. This episode is about what men need that is often overshadowed and not expressed. Just so you know, the answer is not going to be sex… we have our own issue with accounts that tote sex as men’s only need in a marriage (but you will hear that in the episode)! In this episode you will hear about the need of Harmony and how that is a key need for men, even if they would not have said it that way. You will hear 5 pathways to practically move into more harmony and how to have men’s underlying needs in this area be met so that each of you can be more fulfilled in both the short and long term!   Relationship Resources: STEPS TO REBUILD A MARRIAGE GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to the process of rebuilding a marriage after a hard and prolonged season of disconnect or hurt. It’s the Rebuild a Marriage Guide and it’s only $19.

In this insightful podcast episode, dive into the heart of successful marriages and discover a nuanced perspective on meeting the emotional needs of women, a crucial but often overlooked aspect. Women generally prioritize people and nurturing, while men care more about things and problem-solving. This difference poses a challenge to men in grasping the seemingly ever-changing emotional needs of their partners and introduces a vital skill: Emotional Attunement.  You will hear a vivid contrast between what it looks like to be unattuned versus the transformative qualities of attunement. Attunement is commonly absent in many male partners  stemming from childhood experiences, unresolved conflicts, and a lack of self-validation. Ultimately, the episode empowers you with the profound understanding that emotional attunement is a cornerstone for creating a deeply connected and fulfilling marriage.   Resources For Your Relationship: 1)Join the  "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Dec 1st, 2023 - the 30 day chal

If you plan to be married for a long time, you need to work through hard seasons, course-correct, and commit to make changes. These are the times that you need to take steps to rebuild the marriage and start a chapter. This is PART 2 of the “Steps to Rebuild a Marriage” episode #312 as we got so many messages about this topic.  In this episode we will briefly remind you of the steps to rebuild, which we have shortened from 8 to 6. Then we will dive further into 4 ways that you can easily get off track in these difficult conversations for rebuilding. These conversations are inherently going to be more vulnerable and potentially charged, so you will need to quickly adjust when you feel them getting off track.    Relationship Resources From This Episode: The brand NEW Steps to Rebuild a Marriage Guide so you can end a hard season and create a new chapter together.  

Meeting each other’s needs is the basis for a great relationship. This can get complex especially when it comes to the need of intimacy in a marriage, a fundamental need that often takes different forms for men and women. While some men seek physical intimacy to feel connected, their female partners emphasize the need for emotional intimacy.  In this episode you will hear the significance of first establishing emotional safety (in its various forms) before either type of intimacy can be created. Then how each person’s need can be accepted as valid and a  roadmap for building emotional intimacy through 4 key elements: attunement, honesty, vulnerability, and initiation.  As for physical intimacy, you will hear the keys of emphasizing love deposits, injecting fun, and introducing intentional variety into the experience. You will understand that you can in fact meet both of your needs as they are independent of each other first. The meeting of those needs further raise both the emotional and physical aspects of y

It's not that difficult to show up as a great partner when everything is going smoothly in your life. Being an exceptional partner has much to do with how you show up in the face of challenges and things not going how you planned.  In this episode you will hear 5 ways to be an exceptional partner that will be demonstrated through aligning your words and actions, being responsible for the attitude you bring to the environment, how you show up in support, focusing on the satisfaction of your partner, and your mental and emotional resiliency.    Relationship Resources: Check out the in-person couples workshop in Arizona Jan 28th. http://thecouplesworkshop.com/ Explore all the resources from simple guides to private coaching. https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links

Disconnection and dissatisfaction can often stem from a power struggle for leadership, especially if it’s been absent. This episode highlights the unique marriage challenges in contemporary relationships, where misconceptions about domination and disengagement can create more conflicts.  Leadership within a marriage is not about control but influence and the initiative to guide. This episode explores essential leadership values  including a just cause, trust within the team, accountability, collaborative rivalry, substantial flexibility, and the courage to navigate life's challenges together. Ultimately, you'll be inspired to approach your marriage with a renewed perspective for sharing leadership for long-term satisfaction.   Marriage Resources:  Find all the resoruces you need from simple step-by-step guides, to webclasses, in person workshops, and even private coaching at https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links    

In this thought-provoking episode, you'll explore the intriguing concept of "crucible moments" and where you have already experienced them in your own relationship. These pivotal junctures, situations, or decision points test the strength of your bond and commitment, with choices leading to breakthroughs or declines in your relationship. You’ll hear real-life examples, from navigating the newborn stage to handling heated arguments or even a big financial loss. This episode encourages you to make decisions aligned with your values, practice ruthless self-honesty, and consider the long-term consequences, leaving you with essential guidance for when you are confronted with critical crucible moments in your marriage!    Relationship Resources: Join the "Prioritize Us" Couples Challenge starting Nov 1st, 2023 - the 30 day challenge for couples to simplify how to make positive changes in their marriage and prioritize loving actions and respectful communication.

In this podcast episode, the fifth step in rebuilding a marriage takes center stage – expressing and agreeing to non-negotiables. Overall this is a crucial step for building trust and granting forgiveness. You will hear 4 non-negotiables that we feel are paramount to a strong and lasting marriage. Those steps are individual responsibility, emotional intelligence, open communication, and developing the traits of flexibility and resilience. You will discover how these keys lead to a stronger, more connected partnership, where both partners actively participate in nurturing a resilient and fulfilling relationship that will last.   Resources:  1) Join the FREE Marriage Webclass on communication, conflict repair, and deescalation on Oct 19th, 2023. Register at: https://onlinecouplesworkshops.com/  2) After that date, find the resource guides here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links 

Are you facing a difficult season in your marriage, feeling weighed down, worn out, or dissatisfied by challenges and conflicts? This type of season is not uncommon for marriages. Though it seems complex and ominous to tackle, there are specific patterns that have brought you both to this place.  In this episode you'll explore the process of revitalizing a marriage mired in challenges, resentment, and conflicts and provides you with crucial steps to navigate this journey. You'll learn the importance of committing authentically to your relationship, focusing on effective communication, shedding old patterns, and identifying non-negotiables. By listening, you'll gain insight and guidance to embark on the challenging yet hopeful path of rebuilding your marriage and becoming the partners you aspire to be for a stronger future together.   Resources: You can find our top resources, incuding step-by-step guides and online courses, with this one link here: https://www.meetthefreemans.com/links   

In this episode, you'll explore the critical role of agreements during times of conflicts in your own marriage. Just like any game, your marriage really only works on the adherence to certain rules or guidelines, then everyone can have fun playing the game! While your marriage involves various agreements for different aspects of life, the most vital ones are those designed for navigating conflicts. These agreements, treated as laws, encompass actions for you to take or avoid when emotions run high, including refraining from yelling, name-calling, bringing up past grievances, or storming out without communicating the need for a break.  Beyond mere verbal promises, these agreements demand your genuine commitment and personal responsibility. Emotions are viewed as data, not directives, and you're encouraged to recognize your emotions, calm your nervous system, and pause when necessary. Even when your partner fails to uphold their agreements, this episode stresses the importance of your personal integrity and est

What truly determines the health and success of a romantic relationship? While popular resources online suggest differences in personality traits, attachment styles, past traumas, or external stressors as contributing factors, the episode sheds light on a more precise concept – "relationship stability."    Psychologists have coined this term to better measure long-term success in relationships, ultimately linked to the duration of the partnership along with a sense of fulfillment, not driven by obligation or fear. The VSA model of Marriage, encompassing Vulnerabilities, Stress, and Adaptation, takes center stage, highlighting the significance of effective communication, problem-solving, compromise, support, and the ability to adapt and evolve behavior to nurture a healthy and satisfying marriage.  This episode invites you to reflect on their own relationships, emphasizing that it's not about what happens to you, but how you respond when vulnerabilities surface amidst external stressors. Also, make sure you jo