Stab! Cuts

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Zach's not a smart man, but what he does know is tasty. So come on down to one of his three Panda Express locations in this world where all the people are made of orange chicken! He promises not to serve you... As food... Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40514483

In "Vows to an Asshole" panelists are presented with a universally recognized asshole, to whom they will be professing their undying love and commitment in their own personally prepared wedding vows. Here Cheryl Anderson reads her heart felt vows to a Parking Enforcement Officer, it is a love which will last for a very specific period of time, a love which can be removed at the owner's expense if all signs are not fully read and understood. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40184334

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. It's difficult, being a person of any color other than white, and holding off the forces of caucasia. Alfonso Portela knows the struggle and shares it with you in his story of TWA or Total White Assimilation. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40322518

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Heterosexual threesomes can be fraught with danger. Just check out the news (http://negrosagainsthairlineabuse.com/sticky-situation/)! If only they'd heard Jesse Jones' rules for the HTTP, a life may have been saved... Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40153384

In "Movie Make Up", comics are given movie titles, which we (John) have (has) made up, and are then asked to give a synopsis of that new movie, from any genre or style that they so choose, inspired by the fake title. There is an old Spanish Folktale that is known by Jesse Jones which speaks of the day El Diablo taught young Manuel a valuable lesson: Be a Cock, have Cock fingers! It's a weird folk tale... Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40271145

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Hey, hi, hi. Need vape supplies? Need lunch? Edgar Granados wants, he NEEDS you to come to Harold L. Vaperman's House of Vape! These prices are so low and this business is so illegal. Please buy something, but don't tell the principal! Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40271145

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. English and brethren alike, Nick Brunner invites you to enjoy the fellowship of Honest Abraham Yoder's Loaves and Fishnets for the finest in good Amish fishnettery. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40271145

In STAB!'s "Department of Tourism", comedians are assigned the role of the new director of a made up city’s tourism board and charged with the task of trying to make us want to visit their city. They do that in many ways, these are some of them. COME, join Tyler Kinney on the Isle of Soft Rock where you can be who you want to be, hip, confident and unafraid of disease. Do mind the rocks they are quite soft. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=41182368

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Daughters! Get YOUR daughters here! Jesse Jones introduces you to suspicious unmarked vans and the daughters that used to be yours in Bill Jackson's Unsupervised Daughter Abductiporium! Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40153384

"Celebration Time"/"This Was Today Once" invites guests to share how they are, will or have celebrated historic or not so historic moments that just so happened to fall on the day of the show. Edgar Granados buys a ticket and takes the ride through a twisted celebration of the birthday of the Canseco twins. Like nothing before and nothing after, achieve maximum pump. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=36643793

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Let Jordan Gannon introduce you to Christian Rap-Rock powerhouse Returning Savior Very Probable. You may remember them from their self titled smash: RSVP, featuring that hot track RSVP... It's RSVP time! Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=37794781

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Early 90s Long Island hasidic hip-hop was molded largely by the Jewtang Clan and their break out star ODB or "Old Dirty Bagel". Just listen to all this sick knowledge dropped by music historian Josh Kinkade on ODB. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39561312

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. Jesse Jones introduces you to the kick ass Bishop of Modesto with the baddest number this side of the Intimidator's SWEET #3. It's PG-13: Pope Gary the 13th! Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39940050

In STAB!'s "Department of Tourism", comedians are assigned the role of the new director of a made up city’s tourism board and charged with the task of trying to make us want to visit their city. They do that in many ways, these are some of them. Tyler Kinney invites you to the only place you deserve to go. East Suicide City. Make the decision that you've always known in your heart was the one for you. Take a trip to East Suicide City. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39818928

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Ever wanted to make it in the entertainment industry but knew you weren't? Well Luke Soin has just the talent agency for you. Bring your average talent to ItsNeverGoingToBeMoreThanAHobby.com! and don't be discovered, TODAY! Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=40153384

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. If you're going to a pet store, you damn sure better know the lingo. Bill Wallis helps you navigate the difficult animal enslavement center jargon in this LMNOP. Hear the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39652981

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. You wanna learn the mystical arts of self defense? Sure you do. Bojuka, Nindokai, Kajukenbo? Gary knows all that shit. So come on down to Gary Davidson's Tire Care Center And Discount Dojoarium. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39652981

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Hi, Dr. Alfonso Portela, speech pathologist and hater of flappy hands would like to show you his tried and true methods for helping the tongueless learn to be understood. And boy does it work, wihwy. Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=39940050

"Reorganization" is a popular prompt often appearing in a typical episode of the comedy podcast program: STAB! In it comedians are given an existing acronym, asked to re-imagine it and share with the audience what it now stand for, and who it represent. In this fortunately misunderstood mashup of prompts, Stephen Ferris gives us more ways to go rub ass than any of us had ever imagined possible. But remember, these are the exceptions to the rule of "Never Rub Ass". Listen to the full episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=38315836

"Location, Location, Location" gives our comedians the task of selling us on why we should come to their business, despite it's less than ideal location. Everyone needs to keep up with the latest fashions, even in the aftermath of the most terrible nuclear accident in the history of man (or horse) kind. Come on down to Yuri's! Listen to the entire episode HERE: http://www.stitcher.com/s?eid=37694835