The Tom Barnard Show

Is art inherently valuable?  The Family doesn't cost you anything.  Meanwhile a two foot tall metal rabbit is "worth" $91,000,000.  We may not have gone to art school, but that disparity seems a little wider than can be explained by a four year degree.  Norm's book is more valuable than this show and dispenses significantly more wisdom than a metal sculpture, so we can say with certainty that it is in fact art. The Art of Making Sh!t Up: Using the Principles of Improv to Become an Unstoppable PowerhouseBook Link- amzn.to/2HtrGcvSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

When All in the Family came out, Glenn Miller was as contemporary as Madonna, Prince, and the B-52s are today.  Just to put things into perspective.  Perspective is something a lot of people lack, especially the young.  Adulting101 seeks to deliver what modern tweens should know, but don't. Adulting 101: #Wisdom4LifeBook Link- amzn.to/2GYJ5cESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

America's a big place.  Each region has its own unique wildlife.  The west coast has parrots, Minnesota has turkeys, and Florida has people born before the civil war.  There's also a new invasive species called the Hollywood Phony that's quickly growing out of control.  Please, don't feed the phonies.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Celebrities are crazy.  Surprise.  Poor Kristyn has to live right next to all of them.  Plus all the plastic bags bubbling up from the Mariana Trench make life on the coast a constant fight for survival.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There are two kinds of movie: superhero and dog.  Sometimes a movie is both, like Bolt.  Except Bolt wasn't actually a supehero.  Perhaps we've just discovered an opportunity.  Whichever movie company wants to sell us a slice of the royalties, let us know.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I have the measles and the mumps.  A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.  And that's despite all the vaccines.  Whether or not they work isn't for me to decide, but what I can tell you is to stay away from herpes-infested gym mats.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's not much more serious than cancer.  There's not much less serious than the iHOP twitter account.  Both make people very upset, but only one of them is warranted.  Can you guess which one? THE LEUKEMIA & LYMPHOMA SOCIETY GALA May 18th from 6-9 pmSaint Paul RiverCentre175 Kellogg Blvd W, Saint Paul, Minnesota 55102 Hosted by www.2019hopehustlers.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Finally the weather is starting to keep up with the heat of The Best Of! Featuring: Adrian Washington, John Heffron, Mark StutrudSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Minnesota loves its race quotas despite the issues they've been causing with increasing frequency.  Meanwhile a black man - technically cablinasian, but you know - gets a medal for being the best at something and people are very upset about it.  The guilt-o-sphere can be difficult to navigate without a guide.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Being a stand-up means a lot of talking.  As such, it's probably a bad thing when your face suddenly stops working.  He's better now.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adrian's vying for the title of Most Frequent Guest, regulars notwithstanding.  It's the most prestigious award you can receive from our show.  It's also the only award.  Also it isn't real.  We're all talk.  Literally.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

They say that if you repeat something enough, the news will stop lying about it.  Whatever the necessary number is, we're hoping Tom gets there one day.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you an addict?  Of course you are.  You're addicted to this podcast.  It's not because we carefully engineer our show to exploit your limbic system, like many companies.  We did it by accident.  We can't help you with that, but Dr. Smith can help you if your problem is Oreo Thins, the snack with the ironic name.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

AOC is pretending not to know what small, inexpensive appliances are because that's what she thinks the proletariat is like.  It's the closest thing we're getting to good news in 2019.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Are you a bridezilla?  Or a groomzilla, the term that apparently exists?  You may need a getaway.  Why not head up to the famous Central Lakes Region, another thing that apparently exists?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Many girls dream of being able to become world famous by playing dress-up.  That dream can come true as long as you have enough nepotism in your family.  You can also get the medal of freedom if you're super good at golf.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If anyone knows the exact right amount of drugs to take without dying, it's an anesthesiologist.  Unsurprisingly, she recommends the average street fentanyl user take significantly less than they currently do.  Zero is a good amount.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Adrian's going to - wait, hold on.  Can you hear us?  What if I do this?  Okay, good.  Adrian's going to be at the Red Carpet Nightclub this weekend for mother's day. Tickets- bit.ly/2V2yNwYSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode is just trying to keep up with the sprint that the Minnesota Twins have gone off on. Hopefully they remember it is a marathon. Featuring: Brian Solis, Dahlia Schweitzer, Tim Laudner, Kent HrbekSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We're gonna win, Twins.  Just not every time.  We're still #1 in our league, and it'll probably stay that way forever.  Probably.  We're trying to stay positive.  It's a Lifescale thing. Lifescale: How to Live a More Creative, Productive, and Happy LifeBook Link- amzn.to/2IRslHESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.