The Tom Barnard Show

The deaths keep rolling in, and we don't even have any decent movies to distract us from it.  It's like living in the 19th century.  Can you think of anything worse than that?  We can't.  Okay, maybe there are one or two things worse.  Being a modern day sports fan, for example.  They say it feels like being trapped between life and death.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

A respiratory illness is sweeping the family.  Well, so far it's just Kathryn.  Also, it's not COVID-19.  But still, coughing all the time is really annoying.  We ask that our listeners pray for Kathryn so she doesn't have to be annoyed any more.  By her cough, I mean.  Life wouldn't be life without being constantly annoyed by things.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It appears that SuperBowl 2022 is going to be like an episode of Nat Geo Rams vs Bengals. With the laws of nature, I would out my money on the Bengals. They are apex predators ya knowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who knew that a carpet cleaning business could pull off one of the biggest scams in history and Barry knows first hand on how to do it. He is the "KING of CON", a new limited series streaming now on Discovery PlusSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Miss Shannon Paul has been there done that. She talks about the cost of trying to become a public figure. And how being a woman makes it even harder. Share subscribe & like! Advertise for cheap: moonpjugghobbs@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Kids don't know much.  That kind of goes without saying.  You can't do much learning before you're born.  As such, kids are also very inquisitive.  Sometimes they're inquisitive about things you might not want to talk about.  Unfortunately, you'll just have to deal with it.  You can be sensitive about all the other stupid crap that people freak out about on a daily basis.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Shakespeare is one of the most famous people ever born, and part of the reason for that is his characters are all memorable and well-written.  They're also all riddled with neuroses.  Apparently it's not just modern life that breaks you down.  It happened 450 years ago too, and it was common enough to write numerous plays about it.  Lloyd decided to capitalize on this by writing Classic Couples Counseling, a play about some of said characters receiving modern-day psychotherapy. Classic Couples Counseling opens April 1st: tickets available at http://theatrewest.orgSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We are now entering year two of nobody ever talking about anything except COVID.  You know what they say: when in Rome.  Unlike most people, however, we try to at least stay somewhat objective while we're doing as the Romans do.  Generally speaking, this takes the form of calling everybody else stupid.  We've yet to be proven wrong.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Biden was right.  This is the winter of suffering and death.  He was just wrong about the details.  Comedians we knew are dying left and right of all sorts of conditions, theaters are dying of what appears to be old age.  We need spring as soon as possible.  Not only because it's the season of new beginnings, but because it's cold as hell out and we're sick of it.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Costaki seems very excited about the way the playoffs are going.  As Minnesotans, we have no opinion whatsoever as usual.  We can't even be excited about the Packers losing because that would imply we won in some way, and that's just not possible.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Louie Anderson, longtime friend of the show and Minnesota legend, died just a few days ago.  It happened suddenly and many of us have yet to process it.  Jeff and Tom have, mostly because they had no choice.  Like everyone else, they have nothing but good things to say about him, and the Minnesota comedy scene wouldn't have been the same without him.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TWO guests this week? Pjugg quitting? Could you be on the podcast? How Do you try out? Guest #1 Moon superfan Gary Matthews.Guest #2 John Noltner. Trying to help people stop being so divided. Hell of a story. Subscribe, share, like. Reach out to moonpjugghobbs@gmail.comSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Back after a 6 week hiatus. We discuss Tesla potentially taking the US Luxury Sales crown, bad boys pulling over people in a cop car, Earl Butz as the first victim of the cancel culture, the Presidency of Jimmy Carter and the return of the VW micro-bus.....this time, it's electric.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this show, we're not known for being calm.  Susan, AKA Dr. Smith Jones, is an expert at calmness.  Meditation, mindfulness, all that kind of thing.  Today could be considered her ultimate challenge.  Not only does she have to convince Tom to calm down, but Gelfand too.  Step 1: no more cable news.  They say the first step is the hardest part.  You have no idea.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do you kill a car?  A rocket launcher?  Maybe some thermite?  Wrong.  It's the future, and everything is done with computers now.  If the police don't like the fact that you're going 100 in a 50, they just press a button and your days of freedom are over.  Surely such a system could never be abused.  The good news is that while you're in prison you can get a Peloton, which will simulate the outdoors for you and keep you in shape while you do it.  If that sounds like a dystopian hell to you, then you clearly haven't gotten with the times lately.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do people join cults?  Even better question: why do people kill themselves because a cult leader says so?  Seems like a pretty bad decision on its face.  It turns out that loneliness and lack of a sense of belonging is a tough lot, and if it gets bad enough you can be convinced to do anything as long as they promise to make it all go away.  That's why at The Family we never promise to make you feel better.  We don't want to be mistaken for a cult. Doomsday Cults: The Devil's Hostages Book - amzn.to/3roi1L3See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There's a cool new way to not have to worry about COVID any more: get it.  Get it, recover from it, and don't think about it ever again.  Well, at least until the next variant.  As long as you keep a Catch 'Em All attitude you should be fine.  And if you die, then you'll have the peace of the grave, so ether way you won't have to hear about this crap any more.  It's a win-win.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is eating meat wrong?  Don't answer.  It's unlikely we'll resolve this millennia-old debate by having you talk to a block of text on your screen.  What we do know is that between Beyond Meat and the Impossible Burger, you have all the choices in the world.  But just like everything else that seems good, it's actually bad.  Or is it?  It depends on who you ask.  That's the new way of things.  Nothing can just be a good thing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The football world is being taken by storm.  Not by football, but by a little blue pill.  Before you get too excited, it's for improving circulation.  Wink.  Regardless of its alleged use, comedians couldn't be happier, for one fairly obvious reason.  Wait, that could be taken the wrong way.  Actually, we'll leave it.  This episode is already mostly double entendres anyway.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

They say that democracy dies in darkness.  And by "they" I mean the Washington Post.  Which is quite ironic, because few outlets are less reliable.  Apparently that's not a new thing either: according to John, they've been covering up the truth since at least Watergate.  That was a long time ago.  Unless you're old enough to remember it, in which case that wasn't long ago at all, don't worry about that.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.