Xena Warrior Business

We've finally made it through the the India Arc, which ended just as it began: with wildly graphic dismemberment. This controversial episode inspired anger from Hindu protesters and halfhearted disclaimers from the showrunners. Will Xena give up her warrior ways to protect her karma, or will she finally learn the true meaning of The Way. WITH UNDERSTANDING COMES TOLERANCE. We talk about Season 4 Episode 16 of Xena Warrior Princess: THE WAY. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

As you know, if you die in Greece, you go to Tartarus. If you die in the Matrix, you die in real life. But if you die in India (noted land of exotic mystery), you get reincarnated. Xena has to face an enemy trying to mess with her karmic reincarnated self! It just makes sense! Come for the best use of a swear word on network television, stay for the in-depth discussion of death as a localized concept. From Gabby’s queerly subtextual haircut to Xena’s sapphic foot tattoo, this episode catapulted Xena the show from tentatively queer to overtly so. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

In search of inner peace, Gabrielle leads Xena to a mystical and exotic land of snake charmers, sword swallowers, and a rainfall of dismembered limbs! We've been dreading this arc for years, but, devi or not, it's finally time to talk about Xena's trip to India. In this episode, Chris and Ally admit to some of their own mistakes while also exploring the mistakes of Xena Warrior Princess, a show that existed in a time where people had different cultural biases. We're putting out a hot dad alert for Timothy Omundson, as well as a missing persons report for this show's sense of its own characters. Gabby has her abs out like she always does, but it feels different this time. Please, try to enjoy our take on Devi: INDIA STUFF. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Listeners, draw yourself a relaxing bath and tuck yourself into your yin yang bed, because we're finally talking about Paradise Found, an episode that feels like a Star Trek shore leave one shot! Xena and Gabrielle fall down a hole and find themselves in a magical land of ~YOGA~! Gabrielle is looking for inner peace, while Xena's just looking for the exit. Gabrielle is graceful, flexible and strong, while Xena turns into a were-rat! Don't need nothing but a good time! Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. gPodcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Folks, a tragedy has struck. Pour one out for Gabrielle’s good outfit. The green sports bra is no more. Other than that, this episode is a one-off filler Cinderella story with bad wigs for Aphrodite, a possible Marx Brothers deep cut for Ally, and plenty of jokes for Chris to laugh at. See you at the crossroads... Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. gPodcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This is episode of Xena Warrior Princess where everything about it is... just a little bit worse than it needed to be. It's a rehash of the last Hoarde episode, only this time a blonde, white woman is involved! So... it's different?? I guess? Chris and Ally deal with it, but aren't all that excited about it. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. gPodcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This Patreon-funded bonus episode is actually the pilot episode for Chris and Ally's spinoff show Monkey Business, where they talk about The New Legends of Monkey, a Journey to the West inspired netflix series. As Chris says, it is arguable "the most Xena show since Xena ended." Binge culture was the final nail in the coffin where the syndicated action pack tv show was laid to rest, but New Legends of Monkey definitely captures those low-budget New Zealand vibes. This podcast was... IRREPRESSIBLE! This episode serves as a momentary distraction from what you were listening to before you laid ears on our disgusting yet ultimately forgettable voices. We watched Episode 1 of The New Legends of Monkey. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Autolycus, Joxer and Meg team up to kidnap a baby, do some hijinks, and steal a priceless treasure, while Chris demonstrates his penchant for acronyms. Meanwhile, Ally is caught off guard by the genuine laugh this episode startled out of her, and a new Patreon goal is introduced. Grab a plate of pickles and some strong cheese, because we're talking about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 10: Key to the Kingdom Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. gPodcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Well, we’ve got yet another episode where Xena feels bad about her dark past, but this one actually slaps. Xena realizes that she has a copycat warlord following in her footsteps, while Gabrielle struggles with the nature of destiny and the possibility of not being in control of her own life. Chris and Ally also discuss the nature of warlord hats as they pertain to both ancient Greece and America in the year 2016. We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 9: Past Imperfect Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

As the dreaded India arc looms ever closer, Gabrielle, in a stunning display of being too busy seeing the good in other people to learn from her mistakes, falls in with yet another cult. Chris and Ally humbly ask for an f in the chat for Xena's second best chewing tooth, and also consider getting into the business of feet pics.  We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 8: Crusader Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

This fortnight Chris and Ally talk about Locked Up and Tied Down, the horniest name for the least horny episode of Xena Warrior Princess. The show keeps forgetting its stance on murder. Sometimes, it’s the worst thing a person could do, while other times it’s just a fun thing to joke about while killing time. In any case, this episode says murder is bad, because Xena is arrested for murder, and just kinda goes with it. Will she survive her life sentence on Shark Island prison? Can crabs really devour an adult human body? Find out on our latest episode: CRAB ISLAND! (also, for a fun drinking game, take a shot every time Ally says “Shark Island”, but please don’t blame us for any hangovers!) We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 7: Locked Up and Tied Down Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

No good has ever come from a dance. If you've seen Footloose, you can probably skip this episode of Xena, but don't skip this episode of Xena Warrior Business! Wannabe dictator Shitty Steve is running a dead-end town into the ground, and Tara (arguably one of the worst characters on Xena) wants to help them legalize dancing. The burnin'... The yearnin'... this podcast will change the world of dance! We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 6: A Tale of Two Muses Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Maybe she’s born with it — maybe it’s helmetrey! In these unprecedented times, Chris and Ally find themselves at an impasse, with Chris bemoaning this episode’s redundancy while Ally revels in its status as a major turning point. This episode serves to remind us that Julius Caesar is still a threat, and also serves up many set pieces for Karl Urban to chew on. Is stabbing the homies gay? Listen to find out! We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 5: A Good Day Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

"Within us all there are two Kevin Sorbos. It's terrible." While Xena was dealing with Hope, Hercules was dealing with Dahak. Chris and Ally promised they would never go back to the dark place that is Hercules the Legendary Journeys, but unfortunately, if they want to fully wrap up the Dahak arc, they're going to have to break that promise. Please forgive these humble, mohawked podcasters. Chris and Ally have a coincidence, Iaolus learns about the trolley problem, Bruce Campbell shows off how well-versed he is at horror, and Ally displays her uncanny ability to recognize any minor actor from Attack of the Clones. We watched Redemption, Season 5 Episode 11 of Hercules the Legendary Journeys. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Windmills, how do they work? After realizing that Gabrielle is alive, Xena returns to Potidea to find her, but stumbles across a rubber suit monster instead. Classic Raimi vibes are very high in this episode, Chris and Ally partake in an ethical discussion on the subject of linear time, and Lila is there too I guess. We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 3: A Family Affair Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

That awkward moment when you think you've traveled to a mystical land but actually you just went to Russia... so relatable. In the strangest and most controversial episode to date, Xena proves to have no real agency or autonomy in her own life. Despite telling a very interesting story about Xena's past (back in season 3), the show seems hell-bent on retconning all of it so they can shove Alti into the storyline. Chris says it best: "I don't know why much of this is happening... which I think is probably a flaw." We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 1: Adventures in the Sin Trade, part 2 Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

We're sorry, Xena, but your Gabby is in another underworld! Season 4 starts off with a weird bang, setting the tone of cultural appropriation that will wreak havoc on the rest of the season. Xena skitches into Amazon heaven to find her dead friend, and instead uncovers the evil plot of a dark figure from her dark past. Aka, tldr, not only was Xena a bloodthirsty warlord hell-bent on world domination; she was also corrupted by an evil witch! We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 1: Adventures in the Sin Trade, part 1 Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

We promised Jack, so you get Jack! Chris and Ally discuss episode 2 of Jack of All Trades (a lesser known action pack show starring Sam Raimi's golden boy, Xena's own Bruce Campbell): Sex and the Single Spy. Now that the status quo has been fully established, the show starts to stretch its legs, doubling down on the Scarlet Pimpernel hijinks and also turning out some very funny jokes, actually. We also take take a not-so-deep dive into the world of Jack of All Trades fanfiction. Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allyspock. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

Coming to you live from quarantine, Chris and Ally jump forward to possibly the sickest episode of the entire show. It just felt right. After all the trials and tribulations of Dahak and Hope, it's nice to have a more realistic situation to deal with: Xena's got lice, Gabrielle's got a fungus, and Joxer's radish stew gave them both the shits. This episode was so gross that even Chris, a self proclaimed Renee O'Connor stan, found himself questioning his chioces.  Remember: even the nasties have to eat. We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 4 Episode 4: In Sickness and In Hell Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness

In our last episode of Xena Warrior Princess season 3, Chris and Ally discuss ceiling shields as an architectural staple. Hope has hatched from her cocoon and there is havoc to be wreaked. Also, please congratulate Gabrielle, she's going to be a grandma! Your hosts also give their final thoughts on the third season, which is to say: season 3 is dead, long live season 4! We talk about Xena Warrior Princess, Season 3 Episode 21: Sacrifice Part 2 Follow us on twitter: @XenaWarriorBiz This podcast is the spinoff/sister podcast of SAILOR BUSINESS. Art by @barelysushi. The Dan Scrolls by @dancassino. Podcast edited by @allystawk. Support us on patreon at www.patreon.com/sailorbusiness