Matinee Manatees

For our first 100% Ben-free episode, bat-fan Anthony (Batmanatee?  Fanatee?) has finally convinced Sam to watch 1989's Batman!  Directed by Tim Burton (with mandatory score by Danny Elfman) and starring Jack Nicholson, Michael Keaton, and Kim Basinger, Batman 1989 is arguably the movie that started the grim 90's superhero movie trend, and for that we owe it a lot. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

For the spookiest month of the year (I guess?) the manatees are diving into halloween flippers-first with 1991's Ernest Scared Stupid. Do you guys remember Ernest? The character created by Jim Varney was ubiquitous during his heyday, appearing in ten movies, his own tv show, and dozens if not hundreds of commercials. And now, this podcast! Float along for insights into monster hunting, treehouse defense system savings tips, and the similarities between Ernest Worrell and Freddy Krueger. Also, trolls. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

The manatees finally start watching movies from this millennium with 2001's Evolution, directed by Ivan Reitman and starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, and Seann William Scott. It doesn't super hold up, but, y'know, whatever. Ben rants about Evolution... and vaccines... and the shape of the earth. Sam theorizes about Seann William Scott's career trajectory. Both provide a tantalizing glimpse into the military strategies of a manatee nation united. It's a good time all around. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

This month the manatees are checking out Brandon Lee's tragic last film, The Crow. Directed by Alex Proyas and starring Brandon Lee, Ernie Hudson, Bai Ling, Tony Todd, and featuring the triumphant return of Michael Wincott, the guy with the voice from Robin Hood! Discussion points include whether or not Shelley shoulda been the Crow, Sting (the wrestler, not the singer), alternate casting (Tommy Wiseau!), a spec script for a fifth sequel written by yours truly, and the practicality of pooping out bullets. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

This month the manatees are revisiting 1997's The Fifth Element, directed by Luc Besson and starring Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich!  Ben and Anthony discuss age appropriate relationships, the logistics of murphy appliances, and the problem of too many Chris's to eventually solve that age old riddle: what do you mix with breath, sweat, sand, and matches to make lasers? (Hint: it's smoochin'.)  Come float with us! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Redesignated simply "Zilla" by insulted fans of the series, Roland Emmerich's 1998 adaptation Godzilla stars Matthew Broderick, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, and Jean Reno, and wishes it was Jurassic Park, which it very much is not. It is seventeen hours long and features several lizards. Fish! Boats! Simpsons voice actors! Guys named Jean! All of these things are in this movie. So. There's that? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

We're doing 90s remakes of 30s pulps again! 1994's The Shadow directed by Russell Mulcahy and starring Alec Baldwin, is a strange, strange film. Join the manatees as they gush over Ian McKellen and Tim Curry's supporting roles, start suggesting edits almost from minute one, demonstrate an embarrassing lack of nuclear physics knowledge, and repeatedly struggle and fail to not call it The Phantom. Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? But the ice is slippery! ... Wait. No. That's not how that goes. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

We're starting 2019 off with the moderately notorious 2001 summer blockbuster Tomb Raider! Starring Angelina Jolie and Daniel Craig a little bit. But is it really as bad as people say? (Hint: yeah.) Float along with us as we force ourselves to finish this movie and take frequent breaks to talk astronomy, dream houses, and virtually anything else we can come up with to not focus on this movie. ... This one was kind of exhausting, guys. But! Listener choice episode coming up next month! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

We're back on our vampire kick with 1994's classic(?) Interview With The Vampire, written by Anne Rice, directed by Neil Jordan, and starring Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, a young Kirsten Dunst, and Antonio Banderas for like a hot minute. As a free bonus, you'll also get the manatees' grim prediction of when the book series may have jumped the shark, Sam's long war with films' portrayal of piano playing, and a summary of Ben's spec script for a vampire cowboy movie. FOR FREE! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Quite possibly the most macho movie ever made, 1993's western Tombstone stars EVERYONE, including several stars we've seen on Matinee Manatees before. Tony has suspicions about lightning, Ben accidentally reveals what he looks for in a spouse, both gush over Doc Holliday, and everybody has a pretty good time. Float along with us to Arizona 1881 from the comfort of your own bed, listen from the beginning to hear how things are going with the charity or skip to minute 8 if you hate podcast updates, and enjoy! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

1996's The Phantom is directed by Simon Wincer, stars Billy Zane, is widely reviled, and is actually awesome. We'll tell you how, and it's definitely not only because we're in love with Billy Zane. That's admittedly part of it, but. It's only... it's only about 80% because we're in love with Billy Zane. Float along with us for fun facts about the comics, embarrassing ignorance of basic geology, and a hypothetical casting choice that would have made this movie truly legendary. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly, Jim Henson's 1986 classic Labyrinth holds a special place in a lot of 80s kids' hearts despite a rocky commercial release. But does it hold up to adults looking back? Float along and find out as we explore maze strategies, logic puzzles, and how many rock stars are actually in this movie. This one's a little less funny and more wistful than most, so fair warning! Bonus life update at the beginning, but you can skip to 17:00 if you'd rather just hear about movies. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

As a fairly obvious attempt to replicate the success of 1997's Men In Black, 1999's Wild Wild West underperformed pretty dramatically.  But does it deserve its bad reputation?  To find out, the manatees get academic in one of our most informative episodes ever, revealing secrets of the universe like the physics of how magnets work, why Harry Potter will never be as good as Lord of the Rings (no maps!), and the fact that chainmail was not a stunning new invention in 1869.  It soon becomes fairly obvious that they don't remember much from history class, which works out nicely, because neither does the movie.  It's, uh.  It's really something, folks. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Matinee Manatees is a year old, and to celebrate our 1st birthday, we're doing a super-sized three-host episode! (It's an experiment, we'll see how it goes.) We're hanging out with Joel Schumacher again for his infamous 1995 classic Batman Forever. Listen for tips on the best places to get recruited into a supervillain gang, advice on how to trick-or-treat properly, similarities between the Riddler and Mark Zuckerberg, and whether crowns or tiaras go better on manatees. Also, we talk about Batman. A little. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

We're back at it with the vampire thing! Joel Schumacher's famous/infamous The Lost Boys (starring Kiefer Southerland, Jason Patric, Dianne Wiest and BOTH COREYS) is both a huge influence on virtually every vampire movie that came after it AND possibly the most 80's thing we've ever seen. But is it any good? The manatees dive right in and ask the really tough questions, like: Are DVDs really better than VHS tapes? Is the abandoned analogy in this movie about drug use or coming out of the closet? Would it be feasible for a modern vampire to subsist entirely on nazis? And, would you still even want to be immortal if they fed on poop instead of blood? (The movie brought it up, not us!) Float along under the boardwalk with us to lovely Santa Carla, California for 1987's summer classic: The Lost Boys. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

1990's Gremlins 2: The New Batch is directed by Joe Dante, stars Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover, and Haviland Morris, features Christopher Lee, Dick Miller, and Robert Picardo, and just might be among the best sequels ever made. On this there was no disagreement. Nervous about potentially boring the audience with a complete consensus, Ben attempts to manufacture conflict by announcing that he has beef with xenomorphs, New York style pizza, toll bridges, and cats; Tony gives babies a piece of his mind. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

This month was our very first patron request, and it's a good one! 2004's Mean Girls starring Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams was, for some of us, a very special movie... in that we'd heard most of its most memorable lines quoted at us long before actually seeing it. But how does this high school teenage comedy hold up to an adult audience? Actually, surprisingly well. Get in, losers, we're going floating! (Remember that? Do you remember that quote? Do you remember when they said that?) --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

For February, home of the most weirdly forced romantic holiday of the year, we watch one of the most weirdly forced romantic movies in recent memory: 2008's Twilight! Starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, Twilight was pretty obviously geared towards a different target audience, but we tried to give it a fair shake. Includes: practical advice for hiding immortality, the science behind Vampire (baseball) Bats, obligatory rants on abusive relationships, and why this movie makes one manatee feel old. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Of all of the retellings of the Robin Hood legend, 1991's Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves starring Kevin Costner stands apart, though not necessarily for the best reasons. The manatees dive in to unravel the movie's many mysteries: castle maintenance, Morgan Freeman's magical powers, vanishing dogs, and Alan Rickman's starring role in a completely separate movie. Y'all remember this one? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support

Tony forces Ben to watch one of his favorites: 1989's Road House, featuring Sam Elliott but technically starring Patrick Swayze and Kelly Lynch. Road House reveals many things about the secret world of celebrity bouncers, such as how to tell if somebody is evil by whether they wear underwear, the variable lethality of knives, how not to run a protection racket, and the complete believability that Sam Elliott could have been a sex symbol. Have you seen this one? Because it's, uh, it's definitely something. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/matinee-manatees/support