Dialogue On Divorce

Equitable distribution of property is the goal in a divorce. But how, exactly, does the appraisal process work? How do appraisers determine the value of a divorcing couple’s assets and help them avoid disputes around property distribution? Charles Rosoff is President of Appraisal Services Associates, a firm that provides forensic valuations of fine art, antiques, decorative arts as well as residential and office contents. He is an American Society of Appraisers Accredited Senior Appraiser and Member of the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors. Charles has more 35 years of experience, and he serves as editor of the annual supplements to the legal textbooks Valuation Strategies in Divorce and Valuing Specific Assets in Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Charles joins Katherine to explain how appraisers value personal property to help divorcing couples achieve equitable distribution. He describes how to avoid ownership disputes and authenticity issues in a matrimonial action, discussing how to co

Kids don’t get a say in whether or not their parents divorce. And yet, it’s often the children who bear the brunt of the disruption. One strategy for minimizing the upheaval in your kids’ lives is a parenting arrangement known as birdnesting. But what does a successful nesting plan look like? And how do divorcing couples navigate this kind of arrangement successfully? Dr. Ann Buscho is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in family issues related to divorce, parenting, parenting plans and co-parenting counseling. Dr. Buscho has both personal and professional experience with nesting, co-parenting, step-parenting and single-parenting, and she is the author of The Parent’s Guide to Birdnesting: A Child-Centered Solution to Co-Parenting During Separation and Divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Dr. Buscho joins Katherine to explain what a birdnesting parenting arrangement looks like and why it’s particularly helpful in the early stages of separation and divorce. She shares the top three thing

Just because someone may have a high net worth, doesn’t always mean they are good with their money or have ‘enough’ to feasibly survive on, in the grand scheme of things. Their expenses, assets, investments, or lack thereof, and whether or not they are really going to be able to support their lifestyle over the term of the owner’s life, all need to be taken into consideration. It’s not just the question of money. It’s everything that surrounds the money questions. So, for anyone with a high net worth who is going into a divorce, what do we need to know to allow a peace of mind over all the critical and unique financial decisions involved? Lili Vasileff is the president of Wealth Protection Management, a firm that is nationally recognized in providing financial expert planning to protect peoples’ wealth during a divorce. She is also the President of Emeritus of the Board of Directors of the national Association of Divorce Financial Planners and is a fee only Certified Financial Planner™ professional, a Certif

How do you negotiate with someone who has to be right? If you’re divorcing a narcissist, you know that they simply can’t see things from someone else’s point of view. So, how do you come to an equitable divorce agreement? And is mediation an appropriate option for divorcing a narcissist? Brian James is the founder of CEL & Associates, a mediation practice with offices throughout Chicagoland and Southeastern Wisconsin. An experienced divorce and family mediator, Brian spent ten years resolving family conflicts in the criminal justice system before starting CEL & Associates in 2005. Brian is dedicated to helping clients come to an agreement outside the courtroom, creating a win-win situation for all involved in a divorce. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Brian joins Katherine to explain how to know if you’re married to a narcissist, describing what gaslighting looks like and how it makes you feel. He shares his approach to managing a narcissist in the divorce mediation process and discusses how he decide

After 24 years of marriage, Diane’s husband - who also happened to be her colleague as a sitcom writer- left her for another, younger woman. Frustrated and alone, she sought resources to ease her pain and found refuge in books and blogs. However, recognizing that very little literature spoke to her directly – as a woman over 50 – Diane began using her unique voice to connect with other women through her blog – Left at 50, and later went on to publish a book titled Restarting Your Life When You Are No Longer A Wife. In this podcast explore what doubts and fears keep women physically, psychologically, and emotionally trapped after divorce. Learn how single women after fifty can rebuild their lives on their own terms! Diane Burroughs is the author of: Restarting Your Life When You Are No Longer a Wife: One gal’s tale of humor, tears, and hope after being Left at 50 and owner of the blog leftatfifty.com. Diane helps women facing midlife divorce by learning how to take care of themselves and embrace their new ide

Divorce puts you at the intersection of what was and what will be. And while you will feel anger and sadness in the process, what you do with those feelings is up to you. Will you get stuck in those negative emotions and let them drive you? Or will you take advantage of this opportunity to reassess who you want to be and grow into your Best Self? Robin Gardner is the Certified Divorce Coach and Certified Professional Coach behind The Divorce Coach Robin and Phoenix Life Mastery. She leverages 17 years of experience to help people avoid the most common mistakes in divorce, reduce conflict and make informed decisions throughout the process. Robin offers a free, 30-minute consultation for prospective clients to share their biggest concerns and get a sense of how she can support you. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Robin joins Katherine to share her top eight strategies for making the divorce process easier, explaining how to connect with your Best Self and identify what you value. She challenges us to be

Many fathers walk into the divorce process feeling disempowered. And while it is true that the judicial system has historically been biased toward mothers, things are evolving. So, what can men do to advocate for their rights in divorce and avoid losing custody of their children? Carrie Schultz is the Founder of MR. Men’s Rights Divorce & Family Law of New Jersey by Schultz & Associates. A recognized and sought-after matrimonial law attorney, Carrie is a frequent lecturer, moderator, and panelist for the New Jersey Institute for Continuing Legal Education as well as the New Jersey Association of Justice. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Carrie joins Katherine to discuss the most common mistakes men make in divorce and explain why so many fathers assume they’ll ‘lose their kids’ in the process. She advises men not to compromise with a soon-to-be ex before they understand their options, describing how to be amicable without agreeing to something you might regret later. Listen in to understand how the inc

Even if you craft the perfect divorce agreement, disputes still arise post-divorce. As circumstances change, conflicts come up. So, what should you do when you and your ex disagree? How might you leverage mediation to resolve those conflicts with less frustration and resentment? Erik Wheeler is the Founder and Family Mediator at Accord Mediation, a practice out of Burlington, Vermont, that specializes in divorce and post-divorce mediation. Erik uses conflict resolution and divorce mediation to help couples navigate disagreements around parenting schedules, custody and finances. Erik is also the co-creator of Divorce Peacefully, a webinar designed to educate divorcing couples about the alternatives to litigation—mediation and collaborative divorce.   On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Erik joins Katherine to discuss the most common conflicts that come up after a divorce, explaining why it’s crucial to get granular on the details of your parenting agreement. He describes how a mediator can help facilitate

Anxiety around money puts a strain on any relationship. But for blended families, there’s an added layer of complexity. Who will pay for what? And where is the money coming from? The good news is, remarried couples can alleviate a lot of that stress with a little planning. Jay Mota is a Certified Financial Planner and Chartered Financial Consultant with Prudential Financial. Born and raised in the Bronx, Jay served in both the US Marine Corps and Army National Guard before transitioning to financial services. Jay studied at NYU, Fordham University and The American College of Financial Services, earning degrees in Business Management, Marketing and Communication. With 20 years of experience in financial planning, Jay is a sought-after international speaker on financial wellness and other industry-related topics.  On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jay joins Katherine to discuss the finer points of financial planning for the blended family, explaining how disputes around alimony and child support take both

Family formation through gestational surrogacy can be a beautiful thing. It is also a lengthy, expensive process that comes with mental and emotional challenges. So, what do potential surrogates and intended parents, or IPs, need to know before they move forward? And how are both parties protected so that the surrogate-IP relationship thrives throughout the process? Alexis Cirel serves as partner in the Matrimonial and Family Law Group at Warshaw Burstein. Alexis is also a recognized leader in the area of reproductive family law, and she was instrumental in the recent passage of the Child-Parent Security Act (CPSA) , the legislation that legalizes gestational surrogacy in New York and ensures protections for New York families formed through assisted reproduction. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Alexis joins Katherine to discuss how the relationship between the surrogate and intended parents is formed, explaining what motivates women to serve as surrogates and how the CPSA provides a team of support fo

How do you talk to your partner about money? How about your kids? Many of us are afraid to discuss our finances, so we avoid the subject altogether. But what if you had a new way to initiate the money conversation with your family? Judith Stern Peck is the Director of the Money and Family Life Project at the Ackerman Institute for the Family, where she serves as Senior Faculty. She has 40 years of experience as a family therapist and family business consultant, helping people break through the barriers of talking about money. Judith is also the author of Money and Meaning: New Ways to Have Conversations About Money with Your Clients—A Guide for Therapists, Coaches and Other Professionals. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Judith joins Katherine to explain why money is still such a taboo subject for most people and describe why it’s challenging for many divorcing couples to have explicit discussions about their finances. She introduces us to her framework for talking about money, walking us through an ex

A marriage is more than a romantic alliance. In the eyes of the law, saying I do makes you part of a financial partnership and social unit. And that has implications for EVERY couple, not just the rich and famous. So, what makes a prenuptial agreement a good idea? Is there a way to initiate the discussion without offending your husband- or wife-to-be? Soumya Evans is a family lawyer, trained mediator and experienced litigator with a clear understanding of the emotional and psychological issues affecting families in separation and divorce. She has been practicing family law exclusively since 2013 and joined Miller Law Group 18 months ago to continue her work helping divorcing couples find solutions that prioritize the family’s wellbeing. On this episode of the podcast, Soumya joins Katherine to explain why everyone should consider a prenuptial agreement, describing how it creates guidelines for a couple in the event of divorce or death. She introduces us to the difference between separate versus marital prop

Dating after divorce is intimidating, especially for those of us who never dreamed we’d be looking for love online. So, how do you know when you’re ready to get back into the dating scene? How do you choose the right app? And how do you build a profile that reflects the best version of you? Alyssa Dineen is the dating coach and personal stylist behind Style My Profile, a consulting agency that helps clients feel better about online dating. Style My Profile is a first-of-its-kind service that offers 1:1 profile help and wardrobe consultation as well as a Mindful Dating Workshop and Membership Program. Alyssa’s has 20-plus years of styling expertise, and her work has been featured on the Today Show, NBC and The New York Times, among many other national media outlets. On this episode of the podcast, Alyssa joins Katherine to discuss dating after divorce, encouraging us to look at online dating as a language we can pick up with a little practice. She explains why staying in an unhappy marriage is not good for a

As society evolves, the landscape of what a family looks like and who can be parents is changing, too. More and more single people, same-sex couples, transgender individuals and people with medical issues are building families by way of surrogacy or adoption. So, what do those of us who are considering surrogacy need to think about before we start the process? Lisa Schuman is the licensed clinical social worker behind The Center for Family Building, an organization working to make the journey to parenthood easier. She also serves as the Director of Mental Health Services for Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut and Gay Parents to Be. Lisa offers counseling for parents and children who formed their families through sperm and egg donation or adoption, and she recently testified as a surrogacy expert for the New York State Senate Judiciary Committee. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Lisa joins Katherine to discuss the pros and cons of New York’s new surrogacy law and explain why more and more p

For couples who can’t carry their own child, surrogacy is a viable option. And yet, the law in many states recognizes the surrogate as the legal mother and forces intended parents to work through the adoption process. So, how does surrogacy work? And how is the legislation changing in New York? Yifat Shaltiel is the Founder and Attorney-Director of Surrogate Steps, an agency that helps individuals of all family types become parents through surrogacy. An expert on surrogacy and reproductive law, Yifat has been featured on MSNBC and Fox News, presented at Cornell University and the Women’s Bar Association of New York State, and testified for the New York State Legislature. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Yifat joins Katherine to discuss how the laws around surrogacy are changing in New York, describing the risks intended parents faced up until now and how the new legislation makes the process easier. She explains the technology used in in vetro fertilization or IVF and shares her experience around one p

EP: 143 Jackie Pilossoph Working Through the 10 Emotional Stages of Divorce Divorce is an emotional roller coaster. You might feel shock, fear, hope, sadness, gratitude and anger—and that’s just in one afternoon. So, what can you expect to feel as you move through the divorce process? And how can you work through those emotional stages with as much grace and dignity as possible? Jackie Pilossoph is the Creator and Editor-in-Chief of Divorced Girl Smiling, an online divorce support community designed to empower and inspire women and men during and after divorce. A former television journalist with a Master’s in Communication, Jackie is committed to helping people navigate divorce with grace, courage and gratitude. She is also the author of the Better Magazine weekly column Love Essentially. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Jackie joins Katherine to discuss the ten emotional stages of divorce, describing the initial shock divorcing couples feel and the sadness that accompanies the end of a relationship

Though it’s been proven that girls are just as good at math as boys, the cultural assumption that men are better at managing money persists. And in the divorce process, many women (even the smart, capable ones) struggle with financial decisions. So, what are the systemic myths that keep women from having a good relationship with money? And what can we do to change that? Financial Therapist Carrie Rattle is the Founder and CEO of Behavioral Cents, a coaching practice dedicated to helping professional women build wealth by learning how to get out of debt, save money, or protect their assets during a divorce. A financial executive with 30 years of experience in the banking industry, Carrie teaches women to build money-life balance and align their values with their spending. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Carrie joins Katherine to discuss the five unique hurdles that separate women from a good relationship with money. She introduces us to the princess syndrome, explaining how parents treat girls differ

When our children are growing up, we cover the electrical outlets. We make sure they wear bike helmets and drink organic milk. We go out of our way to ensure that they are safe and healthy and happy. And yet, many parents fail to protect their kids from the toxicity of a high-conflict divorce. So, what can we do to set aside our feelings for our ex and make things better for our children? Sarah Armstrong is the author of The Mom’s Guide to a Good Divorce: What to Think Through When Children Are Involved. Sarah began her career with Leo Burnett before joining the Coca-Cola Worldwide Media team in 1997. In 2017, she transitioned to a leading global management consulting firm where she serves as Partner. After her own marriage ended, Sarah became the go-to advisor for her divorcing friends and was inspired to write The Mom’s Guide... to share that wisdom with the world. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Sarah joins Katherine to discuss the responsibility we have to take co-parenting seriously and bring our

The COVID pandemic has put extra pressure on even the healthiest marriages. And for couples who were already struggling, sheltering in place together has exacerbated our issues. But how do you know if it’s bad enough to call it quits? Kira Gould is a Certified Divorce Coach and Real Estate Divorce Specialist dedicated to transforming the divorce process from an adversarial knock-down-drag-out to an intention-driven, family-focused journey in personal evolution. She is also the Founder of Getting Unmarried, a coaching platform that helps clients move on with clarity, compassion and positive intention. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Kira joins Katherine to discuss the signs that a marriage is beyond saving, challenging us to ask, ‘Do I have anything left to give this relationship?’ She describes the early warning signs that a couple should get help, explaining how little annoyances can escalate into a battle of ill wills and why vulnerability is a crucial component of healthy communication. Listen in f

A lot of people stay in unhappy marriages because they don’t think they can afford not to. But if you’re willing to take a close look at your finances and enlist the help of the right professionals, you can come to a peaceful resolution and navigate a divorce settlement that ensures your financial security for the long term. Stacy Francis is the Founder and CEO of Francis Financial, a fee-only, boutique wealth management, financial planning and divorce financial planning firm. A nationally-recognized financial expert with 18-plus years in the industry, she is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), Divorce Financial Strategist and Certified Estate and Trust Specialist (CES). Stacy is also a member of the Forbes Finance Council, and she has appeared on CNBC, PBS and Good Morning America, among many other media outlets. On this episode of Divorce Dialogues, Stacy joins Katherine to explain why people are reluctant to take a close look at their finances and how she helps people get past their fear of jud