Hands Off Parents

This week, Steph and Abby welcome the lovely Monica Danna to the show to discuss how she does it all (be a mom, a wife, juggle many jobs, community organizer, showering), and they are pleased to find out that she doesn't! Monica shares her absolutes and the things that she's dropped to the waste side (like laundry). It's refreshing to say the least. Drop the ladies some reviews on iTunes!

This week Steph and Abby try very hard to discuss a podcast sent to them by a listener, in which a couple raise their daughter without conforming to gender norms. It's a great story which makes the ladies consider how far they go in support of their own principles. As much as this topic demands discussion, it become very difficult because Steph's daughter is with them and she also demands a lot. She adheres to her own set of principles, which prohibits cohesive conversation.

After a in-depth discussion last week about the mental load of moms, Steph and Abby are thrilled to have Aaron Reese (back!), super-dad of twins, who emailed the ladies about his own take on the mental load. Aaron shares his load and how he and his wife have (attempted) to share the burden. According to Aaron, it kinda works-ish. Email handsoffparents@gmail.com to share your load!

This week Steph and Abby discuss a topic that's been making its way around the internet: The Mental Load of parents (mom specifically). The mental load is that never-ending to-do list that runs through your brain daily that no one really knows about but you. Is it draining the life out of you or what!? And how about the mental load of fathers? What's that list look like? Share your absurd mental load list with them by liking them on Facebook, and then you can cross that off your list of things to do today.

This week Abby shares a story of her current experiences with the public school system. Her neighborhood school has some growing pains, and the activist in her wants to support by enrolling her kids but is also worried about being a guinea pig. Steph offers some sage advice, as always, filled with sarcasm. Then they share some good things that have happened with their kids lately and they struggle to think of any! How does your school system work? Share in the comments.

Because of a recent email the ladies received about having a second child. Steph and Abby are stoked to welcome back a friend and previous guest, Nyala Wright Nolen. Nyala has a three-year-old and an 8-month old baby. The three ladies discuss "how that's all going," as it may seem like a nightmare to some. Nyala has some great tips about dealing with a toddler and a baby and some things she didn't anticipate (the three year old wants to sit in the baby's car seat!). It's a fun conversation and might just help you decide if you should have another one... you know if you were debating that or something.

This week, Steph and Abby discuss a recent article arguing that we should not call our daughters pretty. Instead, they should be smart and brave and hardworking. The ladies wonder, well, can girls be all of those things and be told they are pretty too? This leads them down a path of their own childhoods and what those labels may have done or not done for them. Do you call your daughters pretty and your sons handsome? Email them about it at handsoffparents@gmail.com. And please share if the spirit moves you!

This week Steph and Abby welcome Jay and Joe Bostick, an amazing couple, who share their stories of fostering, adopting, and parenting children who don't look like they do. Their stories are heroic, to say the least, but also funny and heartbreaking. They squash some of the misconceptions about the foster-care system, too. Steph and Abby ultimately wish these guys would adopt them. Or maybe you will? Or just rate them on iTunes.

This week Steph and Abby welcome the incomparable Dennis Draper, an amazing person and father of adopted teenage son, Blue. Dennis shares his story, a sad and heartwarming one, of how he came to adopt his cousin's son, a young man in and out of foster homes for most of his life. It has been a struggle but so worth it. Dennis is a plethora of heart and knowledge about being a single gay man who is learning how to thrive in his new role.

Steph and Abby, currently in the middle of the nightmare that is Hurricane Harvey, wanted to discuss just that via Skype. The city of Houston is in crisis mode, and while they have fared pretty well, their hearts hurt for other parents who are in unimaginable situations. How do you do this with kids? How do you sit on your roof in the rain with small children waiting for a rescue boat? They are having a tough enough time dealing with toddlers trapped in-doors! Their love goes out to all those dealing with this catastrophe! Please give a shout and let them know how you are all fairing.

This week Steph and Abby discuss an article published in the @lenny blog about infertility. True, they've discussed this before, but this article was different: It doesn't end with a baby. Certainly, not getting what you want is a topic they've gone over but finding your own happy ending is personal. How do others do it? The ladies cover this among (yup) other ramblings ("what is the name of that show about your mother?") and have some laughs at the same time.

This week Steph and Abby discuss a startling new piece from The Atlantic about the iGeneration -- those kids who grew up with social media. some of the statistics on their levels of depression and anxiety are shocking. The ladies ponder what this means for them as parents. Do they hide their kids away from social media in bunkers underground? Is the next generation doomed? Will everyone become obese and live in pods like in WALL-E? Probably, yes. Oh, right, and now can you like them on all the social medias?

This week Abby shares a story about a wonderful visit from her sister that was overshadowed by her mother's attempt to thwart their connection. This is nothing new, but it made Abby question at what point a family member becomes so destructive you want them out of your life. Steph shares her wisdom, and the two think about it as parents, who may one day have to deal with angry children themselves. It's a big question with few answers. To quote the wise-beyond-her-years Iris: "I know that you're my family, but all the time you do things that bother me." Also, Steph did an adult thing for once in her life! Listen to find out more.

This week Steph and Abby discuss a Medium post that's been floating around for a while about a woman writing about her summer of sobriety and being a woman in a drunk world. Abby wants to chat about the parent angle to this story --- being a mom or dad in an alcohol-fueled world. Do we "need" to drink to make our lives better as parents? Are we trying to fit into some sort of cultural model of parenthood (moms drink wine, dads drink beer) or do some of us just want a drink? Is that OK? You tell us - handsoffparents@gmail.com

This week Steph and Abby are joined by mother of one and all-around awesome lady, Lauren Friedman - AKA Steph's Soap Opera Friend. Lauren's got a pretty unique story about how her marriage took a turn for the worse after her daughter was born and life was not the magic movie moment she'd imagined. Divorce ensued. A year or so later, after co-parenting, Lauren and her husband realized they wanted back in, so they got remarried. Have a listen and share your own crazy marriage stories with us on Facebook @handsoffparents!

This week Steph and Abby discuss a recent article by a mother who up and moved her family to Ecuador to live their #bestlife. At first the ladies are intrigued, then pissed, then ashamed, then pissed again, then ultimately, they turn it into a conversation about themselves (as they are wont to do). How does a family, with children, plan so well to make a goal such as "move to Ecuador" a reality? Are Steph and Abby just bad planners? Could you all do such a good job of executing a plan? Let them know on Facebook at @handsoffparents

This week Steph and Abby welcome two PTs, Ingrid and Hallie, who have recently launched a new online service for moms, Back After Baby! They developed back after baby to give women easy access to rehabilitation before and after having a baby. Steph and Abby have some serious questions about what these dang kids do to our bodies and, also, how these busy working moms have jobs and lives and kids and then launch a new business! Got any back after baby questions for them? Tweet at @handsoffparents

This week Abby shares a story of what could have potentially been a parenting disaster and how the whole situation has encouraged her to become a better advocate for her kids. And herself? To Steph, fighting is second nature. Is there a good balance between the two? When their health is on the line, do parents just step in the ring and fight? Tell them about your battles at handsoffparents@gmail.com.

This week, Steph and Abby discuss a recent article about trying to have it all, failing miserably and then coming back from it. They focus on the idea of taking care of yourself -- moms and dads, we need to do this better! But maybe, they aren't sure of what that even means. They also decide self care is a terrible word that implies masturbation. If you want to show them some love, rate them on iTunes!

This week Steph and Abby welcome the two ladies in the world who are funnier than them to the show, comedians Stacey Daniels and Hoja Lopez. And guess what: they have no kids! Huh? No kids? Why have them on the show? For exactly that reason. Remember life before children? Remember the "Do I want kids?" endless list that ran through your head? These ladies share some of their fears of potential parenting (you can't just up and go to Paris on a whim) and fears of not having kids (who will take care of you in old age?). The conversation is fun and funny but also pretty deep and explicit, as usual! Have fun!