Help & Hope

Send us a textHow do you face each day after a diagnosis of ALS or Lou Gherig’s disease, knowing you will not survive longer than eighteen months – two years? Pastor Dale Meador joins Sharon and Chuck Betters to answer this question and more as he describes how each day reminds him he cannot beat this disease. He knows his time on this earth is short. But, for Dale, this disease has renewed his confidence in heaven and God’s perfect love. In this conversation, Dale gives us a glimpse into how he is not only preparing himself but also his family for his absence and much more. Dale’s natural joyful perspective on life comes through but he wants all of us to know his perspective does not minimize the deep grief and fear ALS patients experience. His desire in sharing his story is for others to experience the same help and hope of Jesus he experiences every day. We are so grateful for Dale’s willingness to offer help and hope not only to the one diagnosed with ALS but also to those who love them.Support the show

Send us a textIn this conversation and in their book, Making Room for Her, Barbara and Stacy Reaoch jump headfirst into a topic sure to generate much discussion and maybe even confrontation: Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. Mother-in-law jokes are easy to find and most expect daughters-in-law to roll their eyes when their mothers-in-law are mentioned. Barbara and Stacy’s perspective on how two women who love the same man can not only get along but cultivate a deep, loving friendship goes against our culture’s view of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships. In this Help & Hope conversation with Sharon Betters, they encourage listeners, especially those in challenging in-law relationships to refuse to give up on pursuing godly responses to broken places. Friends, listen and realize, there is hope even in the midst of messy feelings and past hurts.Support the show

Send us a textIs singleness a gift or a curse? If you’re single because you never married, divorced, or widowed - are you just in a waiting room, marking time until you meet the right person, or is singleness a place filled with opportunities you would not have if married? Is it wrong to pray for a spouse? How do you respond when well-meaning friends say hurtful things like, “I don’t understand why some guy hasn’t snatched up you – you’re so nice.” Sharon Betters and Jenilyn Swett, Director of Adult Ministries at Restoration Community Church (PCA) in St. Louis and author of Singleness, Living Faithfully, talk about the answers to these questions and much more in this Help & Hope podcast.Support the show

Send us a textAbout one million babies world-wide die each year within 24 hours of birth. would be one of those children? In this conversation, Sharon Betters talks to Diane Bansbach about what it was like for her to learn her much wanted baby girl, Amy, might not survive birth, let alone live outside her mother’s womb. Diane and Sharon share a few tears as Diane steps back into that season of loss and grief and tells Amy’s story in a way that offers hope and counsel to those facing a similar tragedy.Support the show

Send us a textStephanie Hubach is no stranger to the challenges of raising a child with special needs. As a researcher in disability ministry and the mother of a son with Down Syndrome. Stephanie has spoken to thousands of parents about the struggles and the blessings of children who might be seen by our culture as dispensable, but in God’s world, they are indispensable and we lose many gifts and blessings when we do not recognize that what appears weak to us is actually, the strong. Steph’s passion for families raising children with disabilities moved her to write, Parenting and Disabilities – Abiding in God’s Presence as a daily devotional designed to turn hearts toward Jesus.In this conversation, Sharon Betters and Steph speak as two friends, as they talk about the fact that a child with disabilities might be different but is not “less than”. Sharon and Steph discuss how hurtful comments from others might be a reflection of their own hearts and the need for each of us to learn more about the lives of those

Send us a textStudies show that the loss of a spouse, whether through divorce or death is one of the most devastating losses a human can experience. Our podcast guest, Deb McQuilkin, knows the unspeakable grief of the loss of a husband through an unwanted divorce and the sorrow of losing a beloved husband through death. Perhaps these losses are why Deb feels such a kinship with Naomi whose story we find in the Bible in the book of Ruth. In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Deb invites us to consider our own shattered dreams, difficult relationships, and practical needs and learn through Naomi’s responses to loss.Support the show

Send us a textPart 2 - On June 17, 2015, Dylann Roof, a young white man, attended the Wednesday evening Bible study at the predominantly black Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, South Carolina. An hour later, Roof pulled a concealed weapon and killed nine African-Americans as they prayed, including Myra Thompson, the wife of Reverend Anthony Thompson. Myra's murder devastated Anthony, yet he chose to privately and publicly forgive the shooter.Many in the church and community still struggle to understand Reverend Thompson's deliberate choice to forgive the racist murderer. But as Charlestonians witnessed this incredible act of forgiveness, something significant happened within the community. Instead of the expected racial riots in the aftermath of the shooting, black and white leaders and residents united, coming together peaceably and even showing acts of selfless love.In this candid conversation, Anthony Thompson candidly shares the details of that awful night, the the grief he experienced, and the

Send us a textMany in the church and community still struggle to understand Reverend Thompson's deliberate choice to forgive the racist murderer. But as Charlestonians witnessed this incredible act of forgiveness, something significant happened within the community. Instead of the expected racial riots in the aftermath of the shooting, black and white leaders and residents united, coming together peaceably and even showing acts of selfless love.Support the show

Send us a textStephanie Broersma lived a charmed life until the day she discovered a deleted online conversation between her husband and another woman. When confronted, he confessed to a ten-year addiction to pornography and multiple affairs. In this conversation with Sharon Betters Stephanie shares the story of moving through anger, betrayal, fear, and finally redemption. Her remarkable story brings hope to one of the darkest places in a marriage. Stephanie helps those whose lives have been turned upside down to take a raw and honest look at the emotions, decisions and difficulties women face in marital betrayal. She wants other women to know they are not alone and you can find healing from the shame, anger, and brokenness that overwhelms you.Take a walk with Stephanie and Sharon and listen in on their transparent and hope-filled conversation.Support the show

Send us a textIn this candid and fun interview, Jani Ortlund and Sharon Betters talk about what it’s like to be married to their pastor. Jani and Sharon have been married to their pastors for over fifty years – that’s 100 years of experience between them! Using Jani’s book, Help! I’m Married to My Pastor as a springboard, they cover such topics as how to help pastor husbands deal with depression, create a home where the “PKs” feel safe and unaffected by congregational expectations, cultivate romance in their marriages, deal with gossip and prioritizing personal intimacy with Jesus. Pastor’s wives – whether young or old, will benefit from this candid conversation.Support the show

Send us a textThe words, “You have a mental illness” bring fear, uncertainty, sometimes shame, loneliness, and even hopelessness.Christine Chappell heard those words as a young woman. They helped her understand many of her struggles with depression and self-harming behavior but also took her into a foreign land where she had no road map. Christine talks to Sharon Betters about how her journey began as a young adult until she knew if she didn’t get help, she might take her own life. While her diagnosis helped make sense of her disturbing emotions, it also confronted her with numerous decisions about treatment and how this diagnosis impacted her identity. Christine shares her story and gives practical ways she learned to navigate this hard place and even found healing.One key for her was to understand her diagnosis did not define her so she talks about the importance of understanding our identity in Christ. This conversation is filled with “salty peanuts”, that is, we are hoping you hear just enough to make you

Send us a text“Who am I? What is my purpose? I thought I could have it all and I do. But I am restless, I feel like I’m missing something.”Statistics show many American woman are weary, struggle with depression and self-medicate with alcohol, flattery, Suicide rates for women are on the rise. What’s happening? More importantly, what’s the resolution?In this conversation Jen Oshman, author of Enough about Me and Help & Hope host Sharon Betters talk about the problem, the diagnosis and the treatment for this low-grade anxiety that often disrupts our thinking, whether in joyful or sorrowful seasons.In her book, Jen says, “We 21st century women have been running on ourselves, rather than on our God. We've been running on self-help, self-empowerment, and self-actualization. The fuel of self has run out, and that's why we're tired and discouraged and even in crisis. Enough about me. And enough about you. If we want to keep running, we need to run on the fuel we're made for - God himself. We

Send us a textWhen a son, sister, or grandchild begins to behave in unexpected and disturbing ways, family members hope it is simply a phase. For some, it is instead a life-time illness – schizophrenia.The diagnosis of schizophrenia can bring shock, fear, and worry to everyone involved. But in the midst of the numerous challenges, hope doesn’t have to die. (Broken Pieces and the God Who Mends Them by Simonetta Carr)In this conversation with Sharon Betters, Simonetta Carr shares the story of her beloved son, Jonathan, and her experience of caring for him as he struggled with schizophrenia. Simonetta doesn’t sugarcoat the enormous challenges and emotions that were non-stop. She talks about how she fervently prayed for Jonathan, the fears she had to confront, and how the church came alongside Jonathan and her in this battle. You may not have a loved one with schizophrenia but Simonetta and Jonathan’s story will give you insight into the enormous battle facing families with such a diagnosis.You can learn more abo

Send us a text1 in 8 couples have trouble getting pregnant. That's about 6.7 million people each year who have trouble conceiving.10—15% of women who know they are pregnant will experience a miscarriage. Some studies say it’s higher.About 1 pregnancy in 100 at 20 weeks of pregnancy and later is affected by stillbirth, and each year about 24,000 babies are stillborn in the United States.1This doesn’t take into account the number of babies diagnosed in the womb with a terminal condition – meaning if they survive their birth, they will not live very long.Kathe Wunnenberg knows the sorrow such losses. In this transparent conversation with Sharon Betters Kathe shares her own journey of grieving infertility, miscarriages and the loss of her son. Her deep sorrow taught Kathe that God can transform anything you offer Him into hope to help others. Kathe Wunnenberg is a hopelifter. Her motto reflects the purpose of her own life: “We go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through,”

Send us a textIn Part 2 of this Help & Hope podcast Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics continues his conversation with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Part 2 focuses on how to create a church climate where it is safe to share concerns with your pastor and elders along with the reality that sometimes no amount of reconciliation efforts will reap sweet fruit. Thinking through these themes will help equip young pastors as they begin to realize criticism comes with the territory of shepherding and encourage older pastors to think through the climate of their church and whether they need a course correction.Support the show

Send us a textIn Part 1 of this conversation Nick Thompson, co-author with Joel R. Beeke of Pastors and Their Critics talks with Chuck Betters about the difference between betrayal and criticism and how to handle criticism from church members. Pastors quickly learn that criticism comes with the territory of shepherding. This conversation took place in the middle of the 2020 pandemic and pastors are weary from the constant criticism they are getting in response to their handling of the pandemic. Rather than resolve their differences, critics choose to leave without any attempt to preserve the relationship. Most pastors give their lives to their congregation, but over time they realize that sometimes what they thought were great friendships, don’t stand up in the middle of disagreements. How does a pastor handle such hurt without making the situation worse? What are realistic expectations for conflict resolution? Pastor, are you hurting? This conversation will help guide you through the minefield of criticism.S

Send us a textFor too long women, rather than feel safe, women often feel shame in their local churches, so much so that they will not ask the leadership for help. The idea of speaking about her personal needs and hurts to any man, let alone being in a room alone with a group of men fills her with fear. This conversation with Ann Maree Goudzwaard, Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson fills us with great hope as we learn about a Shepherdess ministry designed to not only create a safe place for women in crisis but also act as a preventative balm. This ministry is a picture of the spiritual mothering described in Titus 2. Older women are trained to come alongside a hurting woman, learning how to speak “woman” to the pastoral leadership when the hurting woman cannot speak for herself. Ann Maree describes the responsibilities of a Shepherdess and how this ministry changes the atmosphere of a local church as women – and their friends – discover the church is a safe place. And the bonus – older women realize they hav

Send us a textIn this conversation two seasoned pastors, Chuck Betters and Bernie Lawrence talk about how the local church is not only called to be a safe place for hurting women but how to make it so. Bernie is co-author with Ann Maree Goudzwaard of HelpHer – A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis.Chuck and Bernie discuss how many churches are ill-prepared to come alongside of women in crisis but how the scriptures outline the way to meet these needs. Bernie speaks from the experience of helping oversee such a ministry in his local church. He shares how the leadership recognized the need to make the church a safe place for women and then enlisted women to help develop a strategy for meeting this dire need. In their book, Bernie and Ann Maree not only tell the story of how the Shepherdess ministry developed but also include numerous practical instructions for how to develop a similar ministry in your local church. This ministry will revolutionize a local church and no doubt as it grows women will spread th

Send us a textBarbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson join Sharon Betters to talk about those feelings every mother experiences at one time or another. This conversation follows an interview with Barbara about prodigal children. Barbara and her father Jack Miller co-authored Come Back, Barbara, a raw and transparent story of Barbara’s rebellion against her parents and their faith and her journey “back home”. Whenever a child rebels or disappoints parents, mothers often feel ashamed and as though their child’s behavior is a reflection on their parenting skills. “Was I too soft, too hard, spanked when I shouldn’t have, neglected a specific need in my child?” Where do moms go with these feelings? If you are that mother, this conversation will encourage you as you realize you are not alone and there is a way toward freedom.Support the show

Send us a textDo these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain. Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, “What did I do wrong?” In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote:"I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however,