Two Judgey Girls

Teresa's mom was looking down on us when we experienced a technical difficulty the first time we tried to record because we were #blessed with the new of Shannon and David FINALLY separating! We are so looking forward to single Shannon and Kelly out on the town, securing us AND them for another season. Sparkle Dog food killed it (probably literally) in Dallas. We beg Soggy to keep her cookies to herself and Danielle may or may not have been a scumbag in what she told Teresa. Thanks for judging with us and we are sorry for the delay... but it's well worth the wait!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Blame Courtney from LA for being sick last week and missing a recording. We are so happy to be back in Jersey and see Soggy Flicker cry over salty crab cakes. We have a new stalker named SEXZ Chef. No one even flinched when Leann shattered a champagne flute over in Dallas. Now Kameron understands why they had plastic cups. In Orange County, Peggy confronts Shannon and then we have to hear her yell/cry the rest of the episode. How many tears will be in Iceland? Come judge with us...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's Easter in the OC. But really we are just wondering what kind of egg the Dallas ladies put up their Vaaaaa-jay-jay? Plastic or hard boiled? David wants Shannon to get all spoons out of her mouth, including the silver one. "Just kidding Dear." Sexual chocolate was really the star in Mexico aka the black dildo that Kameron Westscott wanted in pink. And who's lying Brandi or Cary about doctors killing people on the table? Come judge with us! P.S. Don't forget to give us a 5 star review and DM us for horrible advice!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KIDashian spin off coming 2018 featuring Kimye 3.0, Khloe, and baby lip kit Kylie. We just can't keep up with the Kardashians. In the OC, Peggy held her ground about cancer and refereeing, but not peanut galleries. Leanne got MVP this week accusing Cary of doing yoga and Mark receiving BJs at the Round Up. We also got to see 2 boob jobs, one by a plastic surgeon and the other by a "gyno". Please use your Cover Girl powder for recovery and come judge with us!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kelly Godd's farewell 32G party was a BUST (pun intended). Shannon yelled at Tamra like she was her daughter and had yet another mental breakdown on camera. Vicki still claims she's not a con artist and we don't understand why Steve and his kind eyes like her. In Dallas, the HonesTea didn't go so well. Leanne, sans her new engagement ring, blamed her carnie past on calling Cary a C-U-Next-Tuesday. Oh, and per usual, but more than normal, lots of ADD this episode...come judge with us.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ricky, Tamra's Gay of Honor, dropped a bomb this week claiming he has seen Eddie make out with men. He even claimed Tamra liked it. Is this true or another cancer scam? Do we like Brandi of Dallas and her botched facelift and light eyebrows? In Paradise, Deanie babies became the villain and we had to hear about Taylor taking all of Derek in...it made us feel uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, Courtney is trying out for my 600 lb life to get gastro bypass surgery. Come judge with us!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

For the last time, it's about Tom. Andy Cohen reported LIVE right from Lu's Sag Harbor home. She looked skinny and Andy dived right in, asking her brutal questions. He asked: Do you feel like a chump? Did either of you cheat? What were you fighting about? Are you embarrassed? Did the girls tell you "told you so!"? Are you ever going back to The Regency? It was everything we needed for closure. Meanwhile, in the OC, the girls dressed up as men. Shannon was Bret Michaels and the rest of the girls were white trash (especially Tammy Sue), and then Lydia showed up. We were excited to see Meghan King Edmonds and her PI side come back out. Vicki wasn't as pleased and was upset she didn't get invited to the bingo party. In Dallas, we question if Stephanie is a social climber. But enjoy that her and Brandi are back to being BFFs. Below Deck kicks back off with Captain Lee showing no mercy. And we do not approve of Dean's actions in Paradise, but Kristina needs to get over her two week fling! Come judge with us! &

The most anticipated interview to end the summer is approaching... Andy Cohen sits down with Lu at her home in The Hamptons. Hear our predictions and wrap up why Sonja was such a C-U-Next-Tuesday to Tinsley; She isn't your slave or intern! We are snoring through the OC but appreciate Shannon and Kelly Godd making amends. Also, Shannon we get, you are FAT. In Paradise, Corinne over drank and and blamed it on "medication." Poor Demario. And we have to keep dealing with that teetotaler, Taylor. We've finally boarded the Dallas train, so hop on and COME JUDGE WITH US! (Oh yeah, and help us get to 10K by Labor Day on our Instagram, @twojudgeygirls!)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sip n' Snooze this week with the OC. Peg and her fried hair need to go. We are so sick of the Vicki and Kelly vs Tamra and Shannon fight. Let's move on and whoop it up! It's still about Tom in New York. BAN THAT REGENCY. Chris Harrison gave us an after school special about consent. Paradise opened back up but the closure gave some "couples" too much time to think and hate each other. Won't you judge with us?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Did you miss us?! Where were you when you found out about Tom and Lu divorcing? Missy didn't see that coming! Is Meghan King Edmonds the voice of reason this season? Lydia is making Doug getting his balls chopped off. Peggy and her yellow lambo physically show Meghan how to zip her lips. All hail to Sonja and Dorinda in Mexico, please pass them more tequila, clothing is optional. Was Tinsley saying fuck you or thank you to Sonja? And how did Bryan win the The Bachelorette? Come judge with us!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

WE ARE BACK! And we are watching Kelly Godd send all 174 pounds of Shannon off the rails. Luanne was our spirit animal this week as we share our own stories of falling when drinking. And our ADD is as strong as ever. We also have a lil VPR in Mexico scoop! Also, who is Steve?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week we breakdown the final four contestants on The Bachelorette. Peter, we know you don't want to win. We think that Craig should eat cheese while Naomi goes down as we believe in the best of both worlds. The OG of the OC returns and she is going big! We have cringeworthy moment with Shannon and David over quinoa bowls and weight gain. Tamra and Lydia go to Bible Study. Bethany disinvites Ramona to Mexico but she is still going and Sonja has a lot to say about her nether regions. Mary is praying she gets prescribed diet pills and we are just praying she makes it safely to Colombia! Won't you judge with us? ALSO, Two Judgey Girls is going LIVE on Tuesday, July 25th, and we want you to join us! We’re doing live chats that you can be a part of, either on video or in the text chat, using this awesome new app called Smiletime. Download it in the app store: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/smiletime-collaborate-livestream-chat-together/id941425252?mt=8 Then subscribe to The Fantasy Suite, by clicking the

BONUS EPISODE: Keep up with Courtney & Mary for this exclusive breaking news story of Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna. This mini-sode talks all details of the instagram posts, temporary restraining orders, revenge porn and that you don't mess with Rob's robes!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week Dorinda got MVH (Most Valuable Housewife)! CLIP, CLIP, CLIP! She had the "shampoo effect" and channeled her inner Mob Wife, she also forgot her luggage to Vermont. We continue to loathe Bethenny and hearing about how her life is worse than everyone elses. Do you have sympathy for Tinsley? Mary was happy to see Kathryn and TRav rekindle their romance. Meanwhile Courtney continues to do dolphin inpersonations and we started a #BanLandon campaign. Lyle proposes to Catherine and was denied based on finances. The Bachelorette was a European Massacre. Rachel sent home 9 men and we think we know her final four: Eric, Bryan, Peter, and DeanieBaby! Listen to figure out what a BBHJ is...Also, do you like our new theme song? Come judge with us! And don't forget to leave your five star review!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week we watch Carole and Dorinda go to the Women's March. Courtney and Mary reveal what they did that day...it was a little different. We discuss Ramona and her face lift, we mean edgy ponytail. We have mastered Landon's dolphin sex voice, definitely take a listen. Ashley forgets her pants again, but never forgets her lingerie. Mary learns the meeting of coitus thanks to The Bachelorette spelling bee and the game "I want to eat your butt." Write us a review, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Instagram! Oh, and come judge with us!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mary & Courtney discuss the closure of Bachelor in Paradise. Luann got 5 minutes of fame to show off her Palm Beach wedding (plus Mary & Luann own the same robe!), while the other cougars are out to play. Sonja lets Frenchie out of his cage but into her house and Tinsley brings her 23 year old boy toy. Courtney was literally brought to tears by Kathryn, Kensie, and Thomas. And we continue to wonder about Ashley and her high wasted bathing suits while still trying to figure out the correct pronunciation of Louis. Also, we discover Chef Adam is a sociopath, but Mary would NOT kill him in a game of FMK. Come judge with us...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Courtney & Mary have a jam-packed episode for you! We question Ramona, her sanity, and whisper-wine-breath apologies. Bethanny wants the sympathy card and tells everyone why she has the worst life, but does she really? In Charleston, Landon and Thomas question if they are soulmates...we question if they reproduce with each other and their babies' brain cells. We confirm Ashley does work for Delta and that Catherine cheats on Lyle all at one dinner party. Rachael Lindsay has won over our hearts and DeMario finds out that karma is a bitch. And who's a good boy? Copper's a good boy!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This episode is Bravo-centric, featuring Mary's trip to visiting Courtney in LA, and boy did we make it nice! With a trip to Pump, Sur, and visiting Daddy aka God aka Andy Cohen at WWHL, we lived a lifetime in less than 48 hours. We also break down if the South is still Charming, if the Indian dinner was culturally appropriate, if Nelson is a waspy heterosexual and the beginnings of the Berzerkshires. Come judge with us or just judge us, whichever you feel is better!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

BONUS EPISODE! This is an exclusive episode to recap the most "controversial" season of the bachelorette. Will the "skeptic" Rachel Lindsay find love? Yes, Chris Harrison already told us. Meet the men: The tickle monster, Waboom, firemen, lawyers, the usual personal trainers, and chiropractors. Courtney and Mary dish on all the men and their predictions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week sure is busy! The Bachelorette is upon us and we hope we don't meet the Tickle Monster... Kourtney says we are NEVER EVER getting back together to poor Lord Disick. Bobby is turned on by girls who have poopy pants. Sonja, Ramona, and Tinsley continue to prey on the same men while sipping Tito's and soda with 3 limes. Shep is back on the bourbon and the rest of the SC cast joins in. Also, look for us on WWHL on Monday night! (No, we still haven't been called to be bartenders, but we will be in the audience!)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.