Scummy Mummies - Podcast

Episode 30: Comedy Special with Kerry Godliman The Scummy Mummies are 30! In their dreams. Joining us to celebrate our 30th episode is a very special guest - comedian Kerry Godliman, off the telly. Kerry stars in the Ricky Gervais sitcom Derek. She has also appeared in Michael McIntyre's Roadshow, Miranda and most recently on Kevin Bridges: Live at the Referendum. We talk about comedy, fame and what it's like to go on Just A Minute. Kerry discusses her love of camping and why she wishes they served wine at soft play centres. There's some chat about the joy of making lists, and Ellie talks about the time she nearly married Richard Branson's son. We round off with a debate about hospital versus home births, because that's always such a light topic, and of course Scummy Mummy Confessions. And finally, Helen embarrasses herself in front of our guest with a comedy song to end all comedy songs. Hopefully. It's a very exciting week for the Scummy Mummies as we're also launching our LIVE monthly comedy night at The H

We celebrate all things paternal on this episode with the help of stand-up comedian Kent Valentine, plus a special cameo by Ellie's dad. Kent reveals his strategies for coping with three children under the age of five. There's a chat about meditation, and Helen reveals some strong opinions about Russell Brand. Then it's time for a new section, the pretty self-explanatory Dad Jokes, followed by the return of an old favourite with a new twist - it's Manbag Surprise! And of course we round off with some Scummy Mummy Confessions. Kent probably won't be letting his children listen to this bit. **NEWSFLASH** We're shortly launching a new monthly show at The Hob in Forest Hill! Come and see us live on Wednesday 24 September, then 29 October, 26 November and 17 December. Every show will be different, with brand new songs, sketches and silliness. And each one will feature brilliant stand-up from top comedians who have been on telly and everything. Tickets are just a fiver from We Got Tickets. Our London shows often se

The Scummy Mummies podcast reaches new lows this episode as we insult our guest's children, spend ages talking about poo and debate whether it's OK to show your husband your "bum grapes".   Joining us on the DFS sofa is Tracey Davies, travel writer and mum of three. She gives us her top tips for getting cheap holiday deals, which include having identical twins so you can defraud Premier Inn.  Helen reveals the part she played in solving The Troubles, while Ellie bangs on about Mexican jungle fires, Muhammad Ali and Center Parcs. Do tune in! And if you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, we're doing the Camden Fringe - Sat 23 and Sun 24 August at the Hen and Chickens, Islington. The show starts at 3pm and costs £7. Tickets are on sale now via the Fringe website.   Feel free to follow us on Twitter, like us on

It's our birthday! And we have a very special guest joining us to celebrate. One year ago, on the first ever episode of The Scummy Mummies Podcast, we reviewed Viv Groskop's brilliant book I Laughed, I Cried. Now we get to chat with Viv herself, live from the Latitude festival. We talk about what it's like to do a hundred stand-up gigs in a hundred days and find out what Viv's been up to since then. We get some great recommendations for summer reading and answer the age-old question of whether they have badgers in Australia. Plus there is a surprise cameo by another special guest.   Many thanks to the lovely people from the New Statesman who let us record in their backstage area. Sorry the sound quality's not so great - it's festival ambience,  innit. If you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, we'll be at Camp Bestival this Friday 1 August, performing in the Guardian Literary...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This episode covers everything from lesbianism to Leerdammer. Our special guest is Kerry Leigh, comedian, poet and cheese impressionist. She tells us all about her rainbow family and how she got her start in stand-up. Helen gets confused about the correct way to pronounce "labia", and Ellie tries her hand at misogyny.   Plus we have not one but TWO cheese-themed games. Do feel free to play along at home! Send your own cheese impressions and Scummy Mummy Confessions to scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com. Or you can find us on Facebook and Twitter. If you like the podcast, please tell your friends! We're performing LIVE at Camp Bestival on Friday 1 August, and at the Camden Fringe on Sat 23 and Sun 23 August. Tickets are available from the Fringe website.  Handy links: Kerry Leigh Laughing Cows Women in Comedy Festival Follow Kerry on Twitter  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dancing, shouting, mud baths, raw sewage - in many ways, music festivals are just large-scale children's parties. So we're celebrating the start of the season with DJ Amanda Gettrup, who'll be appearing at Camp Bestival next month. Ellie explains why she thinks all festivals are rubbish actually, and Helen looks forward to attending three with her this summer.  We address important topical questions like how relevant Five Star are today and whether happiness really is the truth. Plus, we find out our DJ names and take part in what must be the first ever rap battle to feature the word "taramasalata". It may be the worst thing we have ever done. Thanks for listening! And if you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, come on down to the Caversham Festival near Reading. We'll be performing there on Sunday 13th July. It's FREE!   Or you can see us at Camp Bestival, along with Amanda. And finally there's our Camden Fringe show - Sat 23 and Sun 24 August at the Hen and Chickens, 3pm. Get your tickets now! Amanda's o

WARNING: This episode is for adults only. That's probably true of all of them, to be honest, but definitely don't listen to this while in the vicinity of small children, unless you fancy an afternoon trying to explain what lube is. We're having a full and frank discussion about sex. Joining us to offer expert advice is fanny physio Sarah Lorentzen, otherwise known as the Derren Brown of Vajayjays. She gives us her top tips for keeping your downstairs in shape and having sex after childbirth. Plus she suggests an alternative use for those food bag clips they sell in Ikea.  The rest of the episode is so filthy it cannot be summarised here. We haven't even bleeped out the swears. Let's just say the range of topics covered includes pilates, pelvic floors and Penelope Keith. Thank you for listening! And sorry. If you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE, we're appearing at various festivals this summer, including the Camden Fringe on 23 and 24 August. Full details are on ScummyMummies.com. We'd love your feedback

Stay-at-home dad Steve Hill returns as our "special" guest this episode. With father's day coming up we talk about what it means to be a dad, but of course it's not long before the whole thing descends into nonsense. Helen and Ellie present Steve with a selection of high quality father's day gifts (total retail value £3.39.) There's some top chat about the price of Lynx, the World Cup and a real-life encounter with Mr. T. Helen explains her sexual preferences using a convoluted metaphor involving picnics and monster trucks, and we round off with Scummy Mummy Confessions. Keep listening right to the end for an exciting announcement about our stage show. Thanks for listening! We'd love to hear from you - do get in touch via Twitter, Facebook, scummymummies.com or email scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com. The card featured in our blog pic is available from Etsy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The guests on this episode are the ladies behind fab new kids' lolly range Claudi & Fin. Lucy Woodhouse and Meriel Durand discuss the challenges of starting a business while raising small children. Listen in to find out how they juggle meeting the head of Sainsbury's with picking poo off the stairs. Ellie pitches her own brilliant business idea, while Helen insists we play another musical game. And one of our most popular items gets a spin-off in the form of the hugely exciting and disgusting Freezer Surprise. The cold never bothered us anyway.  Claudi & Fin lollies are made from Greek-style yoghurt and fruit, with added vitamin D. They contain nothing artificial yet they taste very nice. Find out more via ClaudiAndFin.co.uk. There is still one more chance to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE at the Brighton Fringe! We're performing on bank holiday Monday 26 May at 1pm, at Upstairs at Three and Ten. Tickets are available via the Brighton Fringe website. Thank you for listening!   See acast.com/pri

On this episode we're joined by Peter Mattessi, scriptwriter for Neighbours and Eastenders. He tells us what goes on behind the scenes, reveals the storyline they won't let him write and explains how soaps have been forced to adapt to viewers' changing attitudes towards bums. Peter also chats about his 15 month-old son, Artie, and his experiences of going through IVF. There's a lot of talk about cubicles and specialist magazines, basically.   Helen introduces her brand new game - Awight Guvnor, Put Another Shrimp on the Barbie. Yes, it's just another excuse for her to attempt some funny foreign accents. And we finish up with some spectacular Scummy Mummy Confessions. Thanks for listening! And if you'd like to see the Scummy Mummies live, there are still some tickets left for our Brighton Fringe show. It's at Upstairs at Three and Ten on Sat 10, Sun 11 and Bank Hol Mon 26 May, at 1pm. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 from the Brighton Fringe website.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

There's some Serious Chat in this episode, as podcast favourite Nurse Jessie returns to talk about the tricky topic of discipline. Does smacking work? Is a bribe better than a threat? Plus Jessie reveals her top tip for swift potty training. (Spoiler: it's not something they teach at nurse school.) We have two stupid new games - Revenge is Sweets, where Ellie gets to punish Jessie for perceived childhood misdemeanours, and Madonna or Mandela?, where Ellie gets to punish Jessie for not being good at a ridiculous quiz. To round everything off we have a Scummy Confessions SPECIAL. We read out some of the best (i.e. most revolting) revelations from audience members at our recent London stage show. If you'd like to come and see us at the Brighton Fringe, we're performing at Upstairs at Three and Ten. The show is on Sat 10, Sun 11 and bank holiday Mon 26 May, all at 1pm. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 from the Brighton Fringe website.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nutritionist and dietitian Jo Travers is our guest on this episode. She covers everything from weaning and getting toddlers to eat vegetables to grown-up subjects, such as: how much wine is too much wine? (Spoiler: less than the amount that was consumed during the recording of this podcast.) We find out why Sainsbury's fish fingers are better than Jamie's, and whether sugar really is going to be the death of us all. Plus we play a brand new game, Did They Really Eat That? (Maybe don't listen to that bit while you're having your tea.) And to round it all off, we have some special food-themed Scummy Mummy Confessions. (As above.) You can find out more about Jo and her work via her website, The London Nutritionist. The Scummy Mummies live show is coming to the Brighton Fringe! We'll be performing on Sat 10, Sun 11 and Bank Hol Mon 26 May at 1pm, at Upstairs at the Three and Ten. Tickets are £8.50 / £7 concessions and are available now from the Brighton Fringe website.   See acast.com/privacy for privac

Comedian, mum and Katy Perry impersonator extraordinaire Abigail Burdess is our guest on this episode. She discusses the challenges of balancing parenthood with being hilarious and writing a hit musical. There's a bit of chat about feminism and that. Then Helen introduces her fabulous new game, Miley or Kylie? (Yes, it involves a recorder.) And we debut our brand new Handbag Surprise spin-off, How Gross is Your Car? (Is your car, how gross is your car, I really need to know, etc.)   To round it all off, we have some fantastic Scummy Mummy Confessions, including a great one from Abigail. You'll never be able to look Smurfette in the face again.  Tickets are nearly sold out for our London show on Thursday 27 March, but there are still a few left. We also have tickets for the Wednesday 2 April left. Please visit We Got Tickets for more details. To find out more about our lovely guest, visit abigailburdess.co.uk. The brilliant baby sketch we mention is on YouTube, and the Katy Perry impression is best enjoyed via

Novelist Laura Kemp is our guest on this episode, which was recorded on location in lovely Cardiff. She talks discusses her popular books, Mums Like Us and Mums on Strike, and reveals how she balances writing, motherhood and a serious Lego habit. We all play Helen's new game, Things That Make You Go Urgh. And Ellie explains why she's not sure honesty is always the best policy. Plus there is a special cameo appearance by Ollie the dog. We round off with Scummy Mummy Confessions and announce the winners of our competition. Allison Pearson described Laura's first novel as "fantastically funny - debunks the myths of yummy mummydom and is a sanity saver." Her books are now available on Amazon, with the Kindle version of Mums on Strike currently priced at £3.99. Follow Laura on Twitter - @laurajanekemp - or Facebook. Please do keep emailing your Scummy Confessions to scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com. We're also on Twitter - @scummymummies - and Facebook too.   And finally, if you want to see the Scummy Mummies LIVE,

In this episode we talk to John Williams, author of the brilliant blog My Son's Not Rainman. He discusses what it's like to be the parent of a child with autism, plus serious issues like the number of cucumbers you can get for a pound down Lewisham market.  Ellie and John educate Helen about those classic British cultural touchstones, Going for Gold and Fray Bentos pies. Helen reveals her secret recipe for carbonara (spoiler: stock up on Kraft cheese slices). There's some chat about the joys of living in South East London and we round off, as always, with some Scummy Mummy Confessions.   Do check out John's blog, and you can sponsor him in the London Marathon via his Just Giving page.  And if you fancy seeing the Scummy Mummies LIVE, tickets are now on sale for our London show on 27 March and 2...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This episode's special guest is Clemmie Hooper, midwife, mum and author of the hit blog, Gas and Air. Her recent post on 'The Truth About Maternity Leave' went viral, so we chat about that and get some top tips for birth and beyond.  Helen and Ellie share some of their own labour experiences - tune in to find out why one of them will never again be able to enjoy the music of Bon Jovi. Plus there's advice for dads and we play our brand new game, A Stitch In Time. Let's just say it involves pink felt.  As always, we round off with Scummy Mummy Confessions - please keep sending yours in to scummymummiespodcast@gmail.com.  We hope you enjoy the episode! And if you do, why not come and see our live stage show? It's on 27 March and 2 April at the Ivy House, London SE15. Tickets now available via wegottickets.com/scummymummies.  We're on Twitter - @scummymummies. The lovely Clemmie is @midwifeyhooper. Thanks for listening!     See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This episode stars the wonderful Dr Greg Schwager. He talks about being a new dad, a gay dad, a doctor dad and a very tired dad, often all at the same time.  As a qualified psychiatrist, he also shares his top tips for raising happy, healthy children, without going mental yourself.  Helen exploits the occasion of having a fellow Australian on the podcast by making Ellie eat some revolting local delicacies, and Ellie nearly throws up.  We make Dr Greg play our fun new game, Look At My Bits, and there's some chat about our favourite (and least favourite) parenting books.  Keep listening for those Scummy Mummy Confessions, an exciting announcement about the return of our Live Show, and some singing. Yeah sorry.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Get out the glowsticks and the disco biscuits - all right, the breadsticks and the rich tea biscuits - it's a RAVE SPECIAL! Our special guest is Hannah Saunders, founder of Big Fish, Little Fish. She runs family dance parties where parents can party like it's 1992, and kids can experience all the fun of raving. Well, most of the fun. We take a trip down Scummory Lane as we reminisce about our dancing days, and Helen explains what a "bushdoofer" is. Then it's time to recreate some classic rave tunes in the Scummy Mummies style - think Guru Josh reimagined for the descant recorder. As always we have some Scummy Mummies Confessions to share; wee continues to be a popular theme.  Please have a listen! To learn more about Big Fish, Little Fish and their upcoming parties, visit www.bigfishlittlefishevents.co.uk  Tickets can be purchased via http://www.wegottickets.com/bigfishlittlefishproductions And you can follow them on Twitter: @BFLFevents Or follow us on Twitter: @scummymummies www.scummymummies.com  

It's the Scummy Mummies New Year Special! Featuring stay-at-home dad Steve Hill as our "special" guest. We take a look back at the year's top stories, i.e. we pretend to know anything at all about current affairs as an excuse to do horsemeat and Nigella jokes. Ellie tells an amusing anecdote about being pregnant in Greggs, Helen explains why death can be a positive thing and Steve watches the darts. There's some hot meat-based debate in Ham Review, while in Things of the Year we reveal our favourite books, games and days out with the kids. Plus of course there's Scummy Mummy Confessions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Season's greetings! It's the Scummy Mummies Christmas Special, and we're full of festivecheer. Not to mention mulled wine and an astonishing amount of ham. Our special guest is Charlotte Forfieh, the brains behind the brilliant blog Pram On Rye. We get up to all sorts of Christmas nonsense, including mince pie tasting (Lidl vs Waitrose!), gift recomm [...]  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.