Meg-john And Justin

The last two weeks on the podcast we tackled the subject of self-love, or loving ourselves. Last week we focused on what self-love means, why we often struggle to do it, and why it’s important. This week we talk about how you can go about bringing self-love into your life. More at our website https://megjohnandjustin.com/you/self-love/ If you are missing our weekly podcasts, you need to sign up to our Patreon. Every other podcast will be for subscribers only and our tiers start at $1 http://www.patreon.com/megjohnandjustin The more of you subscribe, the more we can do with our podcasts.

The next two weeks on the podcast we tackle the subject of self-love, or loving ourselves. This week we focus on what it means, why we often struggle to do it, and why it’s important. Next week we talk about how you can go about bringing self-love into your life. For the blog head to our website megjohnandjustin.com If you are wondering why we're quieter than usual on this feed, it's because we have another podcast feed for our Patrons. To subscribe to that (based on your ability to pay) head to patreon.com/megjohnandjustin MJ&J

This is a brief preview of our Four Weddings and a Funeral watch along episode. Available now in full from our new(and affordable)Patreon patreon.com/megjohnandjustin Thanks!

Sex discrepancies or sexual incompatibility refers to having different levels of desire in a relationship: one person wanting sex more or less than the other/s. It can be about wanting different types of sex too - which is connected, but we’re focusing more on levels of desire for sex in this podcast. Head to our website for a really excellent blog on this too.

(We recorded this a few weeks ago - in a pub) This week on the podcast we unpack NRE: How it differs from a crush, what it closes down, and what it might open up - if we think about it differently. NRE refers to the kinds of excited, fizzy, loved-up, kiddy, somewhat obsessed, feelings we can have at the start of a relationship: usually a romantic and/or erotic relationship. It’s similar to the ‘honeymoon period’: the sense that the early days of a relationship might be particularly loving, romantic, passionate, and easy, compared to the rest. ‘Falling in love’ might capture something similar to NRE: the idea it is a crazy time of hot, rollercoaster emotions. Here's the excellent blog post for it https://megjohnandjustin.com/relationships/new-relationship-energy-nre/

And here's the second part of our 'How to Make Friends' podcast. In this one we try to be a bit more practical and reflect on some of the things we can do to make friends and to make it easier for others to do the same. We chat a bit about our origin story too. For more check out the blog https://megjohnandjustin.com/relationships/how-make-friends/

How to make friends: Part 1, why it’s tricky [I reuploaded this episode because the last two minutes were cut off. Sorry about that. Justin] This is a two-parter podcast and blog post about how to make friends. We realise at Meg-John & Justin we often follow a similar structure whatever we’re talking about which goes something like this: This stuff is really hard because wider culture gives us all the wrong messages about it and neoliberal capitalism likes us to individualise all our struggles and think there’s something wrong with us So finding it super tough is 100% understandable and normal and don’t give yourself a hard time Here’s how you might do this thing in a different way to normative culture which could work better Here’s some things to watch out for And by the way remember that it’s super hard and understandable that you don’t find it easy or get it ‘right’ all the time. Go gently with yourself So this podcast goes something like… Part 1 Making friends is really hard because there’s no scrip

We went to see the Kiss My Genders art exhibition at London's Hayward Gallery in the Southbank Centre last Friday and we had a chat about what we thought about it. We think it's an important show and well worth seeing. More details about it here https://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whats-on/130821-kiss-my-genders-2019

Following from our ‘horny all the time’ podcast, this podcast explores what we might do if we are wanting to be more horny. Read more about this at our blog https://megjohnandjustin.com/sex/wanting-to-be-more-horny/

This time on the podcast we talked about an emotion that doesn’t get much coverage: joy. In wider culture there’s often a sense that it’s only okay to experience and express ‘positive’ emotions like happiness and joy (although we don’t spend a lot of time thinking critically about these feelings). That’s why when people ask how we are the default response is often something like ‘good’, ‘fine’ or ‘mustn’t grumble’. Visit megjohnandjustin.com for the blogpost.

This episode we responded to a listener question about PDAs. They were particularly concerned about how to navigate PDAs in a non-monogamous relationship: to what extent is it acceptable for their partner to be physically affectionate with another partner in a social situation when they are also around? Check out the website for a blog post about this too

We needed to do something fun for us, so we decided to watch one of our favourite rom coms together and record what we said. So think of this like us providing a commentary like what you get on DVDs. If you'd like to watch along with us (it's available on Netflix and Amazon Prime at the moment) we give you a countdown at the beginning. We watch it with the sound off so MJ does all of the singing. We have no idea whether you'll like this or not, so let us know! Back to our usual podcasts from next week.

This episode we addressed a question sent in by a listener about talking about sex with their friend. Specifically they wanted to know what to do when most of their conversations with their friend revolve around sex, sometimes around other people and in workplace contexts, and they would like to talk about other topics sometimes too. Full show notes at our website megjohnandjustin.com

On the podcast this time we talked about the importance of being aware of values in relationships, and how this can be challenging particularly when our values differ, or become more different over time. To read a neat blog about this, head over to http://www.megjohnandjustin.com

[Little content note: we mention rape but we don't go into any detail at all. Also it's a bit more sweary than our usual podcasts, if you or anyone near you doesn't like swearing.] We thought we'd create a thread of episodes where one of us chats with interesting people in the world of sex, relationships, sexuality, and gender. In the first of these, Justin chats with Dr Eleanor Janega, who is a kick arse medieval historian. We chat about a theory which Eleanor has been working on about the ways we see sex as an objectified commodity and where these tropes may have come from. So learn about Thomas Aquinas (little Tommy Quine Quine), logical sex, the dangers of sexual arousal, and how they all relate to Incels. We bring the chat to an end by reflecting on how us and you, dear, gentle listener, might think about our language around sex. Perhaps we too think about sex as an object to be got, rather than as an activity we may take part in (and perhaps even enjoy). Check out Eleanor's website https://goingme

What do I do if I’m horny all the time? This time on the podcast we addressed the issue of what to do if you feel horny a lot of the time. The first thing we considered was whether it is a problem. We may get the message that there’s an acceptable level of horniness to have and that it isn’t okay to be more or less horny than that, but the reality is that there’s huge diversity between people in how horny they feel (from not at all to lots) and it also fluctuates a lot within any individual person over time. Also we may well feel bad about it because of wider cultural shame and stigma, or because people in our lives are shaming us for it, rather than because it is a problem for us. If we are comfortable with it, and if we’re acting on it only in consensual ways, then it’s okay. Whether we have a problem or not we might find it useful to understand it better. As with all things in life horniness is biopsychosocial. That means that it is at the level it is because of a complex mixture of the way our body wor

In this special episode Meg-John Barker and Alex Iantaffi answer a series of questions about all things non-binary posed by their publisher, Jessica Kingsley, to celebrate LGBT History Month in the UK and their upcoming book, Life Isn't Binary (to be published in May 2019). https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Isnt-Binary-Beyond-Between/dp/1785924796/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1550678081&sr=8-1&keywords=life+isn%27t+binary The full transcript of the episode can be found here http://genderstories.buzzsprout.com/156032/960367-non-binary-everything

Saying I love you (this was meant to be out a couple of weeks ago but between us we've been ill/injured. Sorry about that) In the lead up to Valentine’s day, on the podcast we discuss saying ‘I love you’ and how it can be done consensually. In wider culture it’s generally assumed that if somebody feels love they should say ‘I love you’ without thought of the potential impact, it’s regarded as a bigger deal than expressing other feelings towards somebody, there is pressure to say it by a certain point in a relationship, it’s seen as romantic to surprise somebody with these words (e.g. in an anonymous Valentine), and if one person says it the other person is expected to say it back. None of this is very consensual to ourselves or others. We might think of love more as an action than a feeling - as bell hooks suggests - and instead of focusing on naming the feeling we could consider what might demonstrate love most to a person. If they don’t reciprocate that feeling then this may be more about what we don’t

This time on the podcast we discussed ‘what’s love?’ and not just as an excuse to revisit eighties/nineties classic tunes. With Valentine’s approaching what do we mean by love, and why might we celebrate it (or not)? First of all we talked about love being biopsychosocial - not just about ‘chemistry’. Biological processes involved in the feeling of love are inextricably linked to the social messages that we’ve received about what it means to be in love and what it should feel like, and our psychological experiences through life which leave us with templates and scripts for how love plays out for us. Learning to love in particular ways will mean that we experience the physical feelings of love in certain ways (e.g. as exciting, or overpowering, or transcendent, or scarily out of control), and it will also set up our bodies and brains to respond in certain ways (moving towards, or away from, those feelings, for example). We explored how cultural messages encourage us to allow ourselves fall into love and go f

We had a chat about New Year's Resolutions today and recorded it. Advice for you here about how you can relate to changes and resolutions that might be a bit kinder and more useful to you. By the way, come and take part in a workshop with us at the Barbican on Thursday 17th Jan. https://www.barbican.org.uk/whats-on/2019/event/modern-couples-make-your-own-relationship-rules