Shut Up A Second

In which our heroes climb the stage, regress ten years, and head to class as they discuss high school. We look at the unjust nature of some teachers, try to fix education, and wonder what kind of hellschool would ban best friends. Zammit channels his inner bully, Jackson wants to help kids fight swans, Zoe struggles with her taxes, and Duscher just wants to teach teens how not to be dickheads. So throw on your backpack, crack open your locker, and try not to get beat up. It's the least important part of existence. Want to help us do a live show in your hometown? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help in our quest to see your handsome faces.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes put on a pair of gumboots, douse ourselves with insect repellent and wade out into the depths as we discuss swamps. We attempt to work out the difference between a swamp, a mangrove, a wetland and a marsh, feed carrots to human teeth wielding fish and talk about Man-Thing. Jackson has to exasperatedly explain what mud men are, Alli isn’t afraid of the ocean and Tessa just wants people to know Spongebob Squarepants is riddled with inaccuracies. So join the gang as they delve deep into the swamp lands down by the bayou. It’s kinda goopy, a little gross and full of nothing that great. Want to help Man-Thing in his advocacy for education of swamps? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in raising awareness of swamps all around the world.  And don’t forget to help us work out where to go for our Australian tour! Head to https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/sanspantstour and your handsome faces might be seeing our handsome faces

In which our heroes don’t turn up to recording, take a week off and decide to do a clip show instead, so it’s the best bits of Shut up a Second Season 1! Alli shifts through the archive to find the best moments, we remember Duscher’s dad’s tussle with a furby, revisit our bestiary creations and touch upon the many crimes of Caligula. Jackson’s strong and clearly foreign accent has yet to be gentrified, Zoe’s vocal chords haven’t been ruined by years of cigarettes and Duscher just hasn’t changed. So take a stroll down memory lane, relive some of our finest moments and remember why you fell in love with us in the first place. Want to help us make another clip show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in Alli gearing up for the best of Season 2! Help support Comedy Cures charity by going over to https://groupees.com/rofl and purchasing some fine comedy bundles! We’ve got D&D is for Nerds Season 1 completely ad free and there’s a bunc

In which our heroes go out for a night on the town and can’t decide between high-heels, sneakers and our much beloved crocs as they discuss shoes. We work out why shoes don’t make sounds, reinvent rollerblades and discover pocket socks. Jackson thinks socks aren’t that clever of an idea, Duscher wants all shoes to be platform shoes and Sonia just looks like an idiot for her high school years. So join the gang as they learn to tie their shoelaces. It’s a lot harder than it looks and involves many overcomplicated and unnecessary knots.  Want to help reinvent the shoe? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in something that is probably good enough as is.  Want to some books to explain the birds and the bees? Head to http://sexedrescue.com/2016/giveaways/book_giveaway/ and enter for your chance to win!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes connect tenuous dots, make some barely convincing arguments and are unmoved in our beliefs as we discuss conspiracy theories… again. We elect a cactus, punch children for doubting the moon landing and are astounded by how many people go missing in National Parks. Jackson wants to know what they are doing about Africa, Marley won’t get anywhere when you count down at her and Duscher just wants dead people to stay dead. So join the gang as they become cult like in their beliefs and attempt to take down the lizard people secretly piloting the moon. It’s the only conspiracy show the illuminati isn't trying to shut down. Want to help prove that farmers are really all a giant con? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the true origin of bread.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In which our heroes gain extra limbs, use their suction cups to get stuck to the ceiling and release the kraken as they discuss octopuses, octopi and/or octopodes. We find the sweet release of death blue-ringed octopuses provide, discover the best use for an octopus and teach a gorilla and a parrot to have a conversation. Jackson gauges octopus donut brainpower, Jarrod hates the word “seldom” and Tessa just wants to tell a story about an octopus becoming a life guard and the life lessons it learns along the way. So join the gang as they ink all over themselves, cause a scene and quickly scamper away to create further cephalopod mischief. Want to help sea creatures open jars? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in underwater storage.  Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Octopus Garden today!  See acast.com/privacy fo

In which our heroes get swole, oil up their rippling bodies, put on some brightly coloured spandex and hop into the ring as they talk about the greatest wrestler in history, John Cena. We find new and exciting professions for Mr Cena, work out just which one of the Funky Bunch he looked liked and let Nanna win for once. Jackson is a big fan of his own calves, Edgoose is eager to see a horse get wrestled and Zoe just wants to know if the price is right. So join the gang as they start a professional wrestling career, then become a rapper, then appear in the Smosh movie for some reason..... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA. BUM-BA-DA-BA! Want to help John Cena awareness? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in getting his face on the side of every bus! Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Daddy’s Home today!  See acast.com/priv

In which our heroes rummage through the house, gather everything into piles and work out what items to throw out as we discuss garbage. We try and figure out the difference between garbage and recycling, discover poop-pipes and decide when is the right time to just put your fruit in the bin. Jackson has a computer that can only play solitaire, Zoe is avoiding making a poop-face in public and Duscher just wants to ask police officers questions. So join the gang as they take out the trash. This episode can really be describes as that type of garbage that stays in your office bin because it’s mainly paper and a few rotting apple cores, but not enough to justify getting up and getting rid of it.  Want to help Duscher become a garbage man? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in teaching him to drive a sweet truck.  Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to rec

In which our heroes regress back to eating all their food through the time honoured airplane method, shake brightly coloured rattles and automatically look adorable in tiny outfits while we discuss babies. We unwillingly keep an accidental dead baby tally, the effectiveness of baby spies and question why wolves think it’s a good idea to raise a small human. Ben teaches us how babies can hone in on frequencies like robots, Marley is trying to get babies jobs as accountants and Jackson just wants to know the cutest animals in baby form. So join the gang as they delve head first into dirty nappies, bottles and dummies. It’s somewhere between gross and adorable, just like real, actual babies. They’re gross. But I want one. Want to help advocate for babies to get jobs? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in allowing babies to do your taxes.  Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/s

In which our heroes hog the doona, complain that it’s too hot and end up sticking a leg out the side as they discuss beds. We fill mattresses with live eels, mash potato and copies of M*A*S*H, try to work out why we use Zzzz to denote sleep and learn more about snakes than we ever wanted. Jackson lets fish eat his feet, Michael doesn’t like water beds and Zammit just wants to sell out for a memory foam bed. So join the gang as they sleep through their alarms and refuse to get out of bed. Want to help dreams from becoming nightmares? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in a good night’s sleep.  Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Link today! Remember to go to HelloFresh.com.au, enter coupon code SHUTUP40 on purchase and you too can entice Jackson to come eat at your house because the powers of friendship just isn’t enough. A

In which our heroes hang out in the Louisiana swamps, have two sets of eyelids, and get hunted by hillbillies as we discuss crocodiles. We try to work out if crocodiles could conceivably drive a car, play with the idea of a Crocodile uprising and consequently war, and attempt to envision an alligator society. Jackson prefers to sit with an alligator on a train, Aaron gives crocodiles more credit than they deserve and Zammit just tries his hardest to salvage his relationship once he Freaky Fridays himself with a crocodile. So join the gang as they swim upriver through crocodile infested waters whilst disguising themselves as logs so as not to arouse suspicion. It's a leathery good time. Want to help crocodiles learn to drive? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in saltwater transport. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot every month? Do us a favour and go to http://www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to receive your (possible) Super

In which our heroes reach for their Aeroguard, scratch their bites, throw rocks at beehives and discuss the world of pests. We work out how big a monitor lizard mousetrap would need to be, if a lobster swarm is more a blessing than a curse and the correct procedure for scarabs under your pillow. Jackson wants to know what the worst pest infestation would be, Aaron is quite taken with the notion of an army of tiny versions of himself and Zammit just wants to hide under the fridge when the lights come on unexpectedly. So join the gang as they set some traps, avoid hitting kangaroos and make continuous references to that Brendan Fraser smash hit film involving a Mummy. It’s informative, itchy and bound to be expensive to get rid of. But you knew that when you moved in. Want to help us with our infestation problems? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in the quality of butter we eat with our lobsters. Hankering for some sweet geeky loot e

In which our heroes never age, never get sick and never die as they discuss immortal beings. We seek the sweet release of death, realise how Benjamin Buttonism is the worst version of immortality and try and pinpoint some actual immortals. Jackson decides to eat the enteral spicy pepper, Alli has enough time to learn how to beat woodland critters at chess and Duscher, as always, just wants to die. So join the gang as they unwillingly live forever. It is in no way worth it and unpleasant for everyone involved. Want to help make a highlander pact? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in good negotiations for the sweet release of death.  Hankering for some sweet geeky loot delivered to your door every month? Do us a favour and go to www.geekfuel.com/sanspants and sign up to fuel up your geek today! Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to HelloFresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off your

In which our heroes venture to the North Pole, get trapped in Santa’s workshop and are forced to make small talk with his little helpers which inevitably turns to elves. We talk about the deep connection between Mrs Claus and Idris Elba, how white-bread eggnog and bocce is and the problems of a shelf elf left to his own devices. Jackson's hatred for monopoly is finally addressed as he becomes a teddy bear, Zoe refuses to work and opts to be Santa’s side bitch instead and Zammit just wants to go out like Will Hunting. So put on an Christmas sweater, go fetch your now too cold coffee and wrap yourself in a blanket that smells like dog. It’s Shut up a Second’s Christmas Special and it’s exactly what everyone expected. Disappointment.   Want to help Jones be the best schooler he can be? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can make a difference for his future And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.

In which our heroes wake up, look in the pantry, realise they’re standing before a live audience and discuss breakfast. We discuss the importance of keeping regular, the dangers of eating a meal at the wrong time, and try to get to the bottom of the Breakfast Club. Zoe gets her eating habits discussed, Jackson commits himself to an eternity of ham, and Duscher just wants everyone to know how he feels about bacon. It's a randomly chosen live extravaganza and also the most important meal of the day. Want to help us do another live show? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help us come to your town! And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least two books about the logistics of brunching at a jewellery store. Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.com.au use coupon code SHUTUP40 on check out and receive $40 off

In which our heroes accept donations from dubious corporations for future political favour, hire the best campaign manager money can buy and go to the polls to discuss Presidents. We come up with fool proof long cons, replace the president with ourselves, and attempt to take Antarctica’s ice. Jackson becomes the president to commit crimes, Zammit needs to stick to the kitchen and Tess loses herself in a megaladon fuelled rampage. So join the gang as they tackle the public eye scandal with pre-approved one liners and almost commit a felony. It’s not for you, but for your country. Want to help get the Studio Horse elected? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making the most majestic creature rule us all.  Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.aufor more information and to book your ticket now!

In which our heroes get equilateral, isosceles, and also scalene as they discuss triangles. We sort out how new age toasters work, teach school kids maths, and find triangles in the room. Jackson wants to be buried in a pyramid, Zoe thinks that triangles are the least useful shape and Duscher is just grateful that he wasn’t around when wooly mammoths were around. So join the gang as they triangulate the position of a triathlon in it's third trimester and get lost forever in the Bermuda Triangle. Triangles! What a time! Want to help with Jackson’s burial requests? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in making him a mummy. Want to come see just how handsome we really are? Well now’s your chance as we’re doing another live show on the 10th of December. Just head to https://sanspantslive.eventbrite.com.au for more information and to book your ticket now! Live in Australia and want hand delivered food? Head over to https://www.hellofresh.

In which our heroes hang from the rafters, navigate by sonar and feast on bugs and insects as they discuss bats. We consider the differences between bats and flying foxes, venture briefly into the creepiness of balloons, and eventually get back on the bat-track. Jackson has spontaneous bats erupting from his nipples, Duscher recalls experiencing instant karma while committing a crime and special guest Claire Sullivan just wants to figure out an appropriate term for masturbation. So join the gang as they hang out upside down and use echolocation to search for moths and other small invertebrates. Or sometimes frogs. Sometimes blood too. Depends on the bat. Want to help Duscher get revenge on the bat that shat on him? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our ability to get a lawyer who specializes in bat-based crimes. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/Sanspant

In which our heroes dig a whole, set up camp and try to avoid letting the rain in their underground home as they discuss burrowers… or burrows. No one really knows. We hide bodies into taxidermy animals, fill burrows with objects and work out what vignettes are. Jackson struggles to list things that burrows, Zoe is disappointed in the current parody title trend of using a triple X as a suffix and Alli just wants to watch the last Harry Potter movie in peace. So join the gang as they go in blind just to see would happen. It’ll make you want to live in a burrow and never come out. But do avoid badgers, they have a taste for dwarf-flesh now. Want to help Zoe make it as a parody director? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in top quality skin flicks. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably at least twenty-two books about badger blood

In which our heroes spread their wings, take to the skies, and head south for winter as they discuss birds… Again. We replace our faces with beaks, question if we can eat roosters and attempt to name as many birds as possible to disappointing results. Jackson carries everything around in his gross mouth, Dave Warneke ups the entertainment value of Australian politics with a spoon bill and Duscher just wants everyone to realize the the truth behind bird heads. So join the gang as they attempt to figure out if there are any birds left. The answer is no. No there is not. We did it guys, got 'em all. Good job team. Who’s the Bird Kings? That’s right. Us. Still want to help make our bird-man-dreams a reality? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in our bird-man lives. And don’t forget to get your free audible book download and a 30 day free trial at http://www.audibletrial.com/SanspantsRadio there’s probably still at least eight books about