Building A Better Dave

Download File I was in a meeting with some people preparing for a podcast roast. Last year they were roasting me, this year we're roasting John Lee Dumas. This made me reflect on where I was last year, and where I am this year. So I thought about: Weight Loss Dating Financial

Today at my church they are having a children's program. There is only one problem. We only have one child, and “Child's Program” doesn't roll off the tongue. Why would you have a children's program when you only have one? The only reason I can come to is that we've always done it that way. The church I go to came from a split church. It was awesome. We had probably 30 people in the choir. The music was awesome. The culture was awesome. That was probably close to 20 years ago. There is only one problem. The church has not changed at all. Not one single bit. If you had a bulletin from 1998 and compared it to today's the only thing that changes is the pastor. When the choir got smaller due to this thing called Natural Causes that keeps making the congregation smaller, the director decided we would sing Handel's Messiah. This is a very hard piece of music to sing. Looking back, we shouldn't have done it. We didn't have the people. We didn't have the talent. Typically people in a choir can sing. They can actually

I had a great time in Australia. I really miss those people I was asked to speak in Australia. This is one event that I had to pick up the ticket, and it was worth every penny.  I had to give up control I got to do new things I have never done I got to stand up for myself So many things in Australia can kill you, just like America...

My first time I ran into someone speaking in Tounges I was working as a Janitor for the church I was attending. It freaked me out.  I thought the guy was having a seizure. I started attending a different church, and they made it sound like I didn't have the holy spirit and I needed to have someone "lay hands" on me.  I was told growing up you do not have someone speak in tounges unless there was someone to interpret, so I wasn't sure to believe.  On the other hand, if I didn't have the holy spirit, I wanted it. So I decided to have someone lay their hands on me...

The 1.3 Megapixel Digital Camera Which phone the one with the answering machine or the cordless? The 14" Computer monitor The drawer full of dark socks Finishing the job or eating cereal How I feel when the office is clean Check out www.todoist.com 

People are paying $80/hr to cuddle. What? You heard me. I did a google search and there are multiple companies. So I thought, "Well is that what the kids are calling sex today?" One person on the "How to Cuddle" page stated, "If you feel sexual desires coming on, communicate them as soon as possible and probably stop cuddling." Cuddle Buddy HR What does the training manual for a cuddle buddy look like? I love that one site states,  " No intentional genital stimulation of any kind." (but unintentional is allowed...") The New Go-To Career For Every Guidance Counselor I'm picturing the High School Guidance Counselor looking at a student with straight Ds. Counselor: "Well Billy, I've looked at your grade." Billy: "My family says I should apply to clown college." Counselor: "I've got something different and it pays $40/hr.  Full show notes and videos at http://betterdave.com/182

Today I talk about an interaction with Frederick Michael Plant which goes from zero fo FU in a very quick time Marriage at First Sight - Horrible television that I could not stop watching This one woman feels the word "husband" has magical powers and even though she just met her husband they are "soulmates." This could be a good show to watch with your significant other. See https://youtu.be/soZf8jhcmus

Today it's 5 AM again, and I can't sleep. I'm slowly starting to work on my speech as on July 24th, 2018 I am being inducted into the Academy of Podcasters Hall of Fame. It's really an honor and its humbling. Person and person have been leaving a message saying how it was, "Overdue," and "Well Deserved." They thank me for all the hard work. Hard work? Somewhere I got a gene where I just love to help people. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy, so it really wasn't hard work I got to be creative. I got to play with technology I got to help people.  This wasn't hard work at all. Thanks for listening

I had an epiphany and I'm not sure if I dreamed this, I don't know where it came from. I looked at the previous Mrs. Jacksons (since I have a matching set now) and I noticed that both of them were someone in a situation where I'm going to call it “Damsel in distress.” When I met them, I saw them as a damsel in distress that I could come in on my white horse and save. I was sitting in my bed and I wanted to think about how many women I had ever said the phrase, “I love you” to. I think this is spurred on this idea. Recently I've gone to two conferences in the past month and I'm starting to notice, where I thought my heart was just dead - for lack of a better phrase) I have met a few females that I would like to get to know you better. The bad news is they all live hundreds if not thousands of miles away and in some cases, are young enough to be my daughter, which makes me feel creepy. Let's start off with the very first person I said I love you to. I was 16 years old, does that really count? Well, yeah, it did

So if you looked up the word Gullible it says, "easily persuaded to believe something; credulous." So I looked up credulous and it said, "having or showing too great a readiness to believe things."  I had an interesting conversation today and we were talking about these places that appear to prey on the Gullible. You know the drill. You get dragged to a meeting where you hear a pitch. Everyone can benefit from the product. It's super easy to join. It's even free. You are encouraged to bring your friends. If you want to become a member there are fees based on your level of dedication.  There are weekly meetings to attend and in some cases twice a week.  There are brainstorming session on how you can get the word out there and raise more money for the company. If you are active enough and demonstrate dedication, you may get an advisory board. Some people show up and swear the product works, while others don't attend weekly meetings and don't seem to be getting any results Some people think the whole thing is a

So I'm watching Jerry's Seinfeld's Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Netflix.  It's amusing. He gets these obscure cars and picks up celebrities and talks with them over coffee. He gets paid a lot of money for this.  They aren't earth shattering interviews, but the show is cool. I was watching trying to figure out what it was that made this show cool. Then it came to me. There was jazz music in the background. Now watching a toothless waitress in some strange dinner is cool. Look! it's coffee in slow motion put to jazz! I've never seen coffee poured like this. It's like seeing coffee for the first time. Holy Cow.  Now when Jerry pulls up in a 1972 VW Van with rust to pick up Kramer, it's cool.  Then I thought about the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Here is this boy face male pattern baldness at a very early age, being bullied by his friends, and disrespected by his dog. There isn't much of a story, then get him involved with a bizarre play that also has no story. Then Linus just takes control and start b

I have some friends who have giant TVs. Two years ago I bought a 32" flat screen. Now when I go to their house and come home, my 32" looks like a toy. So I decided to buy a bigger 1080 TV. This lead to me asking about what is the difference between 1080 and 4K, then what was the difference between 4k and HDR? Then the guy at Best Buy gave me a demo of both, and I could feel myself getting sucked in. I had found a cheaper TV but now I could feel myself talking myself into grabbing the credit card. I ended up with a 55" 4K HDR tv. Then I brought it home. Uh Oh. Then I went to plug it into my soundbar. Uh Oh. Through the process of carrying these items from store to trunk to apartment, I pulled muscles in my back. When I watch the Tonight Show, it feels like Jimmy Fallon is in my living room. My TV is just about the size of my couch.

You must run do not walk to your television listing and find the Hallmark Channel. They are running the same movie (disguised with a different name) over and over.  There will be lots of crying as Christmas is almost ruined, then, in the end, you find in the nick of time that Yes, Yes, (cheesy storyline) is true! It will start people like Shelly Long (remember her from Cheers), Angie Dickinson (isn't she dead) and lots of people from sitcoms that you watched in the 80's and 90's that kind find work anyplace else and have no integrity. 

I went to Washington DC last week. I met a girl who does a show called "Good Grief." She started recording her podcast after he died and she found out he had a second family with two additional children of which she was one. Woa. I also got to meet Darwyn Dave who does the show Dealing With My Grief. Darwyn's Dad was murdered. Damn. Like straight up murdered. So I listened to these shows on the way home. This lead to some strange thinking, and emotions bubbling through. Emotional Triggers I focus on the weirdest things lately. My brother got pretty sick a little while ago and he had a weird situation where he was sweating under a bunch of blankets because he was freezing. He had lost a lot of color, and looked bad. It was spooky even though I knew he would pull through. The bottom line is we are out of Grandparents, we have a few Aunts to play, one Uncle who is 94, and then we become the next generation in line. You know and I know that it's going to get here sooner or later. There is nothing we can do about

A West Virginia school during Patriotism week made a sign about their opponent from Pittsburgh. They made the sign red white and blue, and the sign read, "Trump Perry." It did not say, "WE HATE BLACK PEOPLE." A football banner is intended to intimidate the other team. My high school was Ellet High School so Ellet rhymed with Smell iT. As our mascot was a giant Orange Hulk, and we were known as the Orangemen, we often saw many signs about "Squeezing the Orangemen." Our arch rival was Springfield High School. Springfield had a lake. So we called students from Springfield, "Swamp Rats." I guess by today's standards we were bullying when we played the fight song after a touchdown. I can't believe this made the news. Instead of the superintendent from the WV school writing an apology, they should've suspended the LIBRARIAN for being a narcissist and making everything about her, and for not being able to process any opinion besides her own. While I can't "tell you how to feel" you should be willing, and wanting to

I was born and raised in Akron Ohio, and my elementary school had one African-American student (Melody Hardy) and she sat right next to me. What I'm worried about is it seems if a white person says something that is insensitive, they are INSTANTLY labeled a RACIST.  If a person is like me, we aren't racist - we are untrained. We've had zero practice dealing with different cultures and races. If a white person says something that sounds racist, it may be that they are missing some key ingredients in their education of what it's like to be a person of color.  The problem is if we are all waiting with our "guns" locked and loaded, then everyone (especially white folks) don't start any conversations. The ability to grow, and understand other cultures is limited if we don't open up the door to understanding different perspectives. As someone who constantly hears about "White privilege," it sounds like all I need is to be white and have a penis and I will never have anything to worry about. It didn't work for my Da

I haven't been to a McDonald's in quite some time, and apparently, we've come a long way from the days of the paper hat and smock. Maybe it's just me flashing back to the days when I had to have my hair above my collar to keep my job.Maybe it's because I'm the only person on the planet who doesn't have a single tattoo, but some of the people who serve my food at the drive through are startling. I drive up to the window to hand them my ATM card and they turn around and HOLY CRAP! It looks like the dove face fist into a tackle box. I don't care that you have enough hardware in your face to pick up a shortwave radio stat, but when you're not ready for it, it can be quite a surprise. Tonight I went to a Books a Million (BAM) and was surprised to see they had installed a Library in the coffee shop. There were at leat 10 people who are not "Skimming" a book to see if they should buy it, but starting at page 1 and going straight through. I swear one guy was in there the last time I was in this location. At some poin

Today I talk about how I'm stuck. I don't want to be a person who lives in the past.  On the flip side, if I don't remember life changing events is that disrespectful? There is a great quote in the Sheryl Crow song "Every Day is a Winding Road" and she asks, "Why am I a stranger in my own life?" I talk about the day I watched my Mom breakdown upon hearing her father's voice for the first time in a long time. So now I'm worried about playing an old tape that has my Mom's voice. I don't want to be "THAT GUY" who is always talking about his Mom. At this point, I've spent more time without her than I did with her.  So I get really worried that I spend too much time looking back.   

So I was halfway filling out the application at match.com when I hear a familiar voice in my head ask, "Is that what you're going to wear?"  There is a part of me that feels I need someone to go through life with, and someone to hold my hand, when I get old and feeble. This might've been brought on by the Death of my Dad followed by my Aunt, but I can see the bus coming, and it's a ways off, but its not that far away. So I am torn between two worlds.  And today I decided to turn on a microphone and talk about it. 

Today I share what it was like to go through the holidays ALONE last year.  As horrifying as that might sound, there were some perks.