The Intimate Lifestyle



Ryan Thomas, an army Captain veteran, has conversations with experts that range from VR Porn, and sex parties, to buddhist monks and transpersonal therapists. The Intimate Lifestyle uses sex and relationships as a means to uncover the unconscious factors that drive desire and fear, and keep us stuck in unhealthy relationships.


  • EP045: Forgiving a Murderer

    20/10/2016 Duration: 56min

    Imagine finding out that your mother/father has been murdered. And they were murdered by your other parent. And imagine having this tragedy happen at 12 years old. Imagine further forgiving that murder, and then saving their life.   This is the experience of Dean Smith.  He shares his story of how this affected his life.   He explains that forgiveness is not about forgetting what the tragedy was. It’s not about releasing them from their crime. It’s about “unshackling” yourself from the pain and anger you have.  Forgiveness is necessary for you to be happy, not so you can be good.  And it may be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do, but it will be the most rewarding.   You can find Dean at

  • EP044: Who's Really Responsible for the Orgasm Gap?

    19/10/2016 Duration: 25min

    The orgasm "gap" is a big topic of conversation. Women don't experience orgasm during sex nearly as much as men.  But who's "fault" is that? A lot of people will claim it's men's faults and that men don't put in enough effort. Although to some degree that may be the case, I can speak from personal experience that no matter how much effort I put in, she's not going to have an orgasm. In today's episode I dive into a concept of "leaning in" and where men AND women can take responsibility to curb the orgasm gap.

  • EP043: Condom Slippage

    12/10/2016 Duration: 35min

    Ever have a condom slip off and find it stuck in either your, or your partners, vagina? Yea, that can be embarrassing. But it doesn't have to be!  Naomi and I talk about our own personal experiences with this, what went wrong, what went right, why it happens, and how to handle it if it happens to you.

  • EP042: The Right Attitude For Great Sex

    06/10/2016 Duration: 01h12min

    Bringing a woman to orgasm through a hug?  Yea, I was about ready to call bullshit until I heard Eyal Matsliah’s story. What is very interesting about this man is that he teaches the seduction of a woman. He never watched porn growing up, but he did read a lot of erotica novels.  And he took training in tantric massage so that he could give women amazing orgasms. He also shares some information that he has NEVER shared online before.  You will be listening, for the first time, Eyal sharing the 5 different types of touch. Today was a very interesting and fun show for me to record. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed recording it.

  • EP041: Anger and your Dating Life

    05/10/2016 Duration: 16min

    Do you hate the other gender? Are you having a hard time finding the right partner? Are you constantly upset in your relationship(s)? The hardest thing to do is to look at yourself and see what you could be doing to create that in your life.  In this episode of the Humpday Share, I share with you some wisdom I have collected from some hard lessons regarding anger and the other gender. I used to hate women. In this episode, I explain how that came to be, and how I cured from the bullshit that interfered with my relationships with women.

  • EP040: Just the Tip Tuesday - Rope Play

    04/10/2016 Duration: 11min

    Ever heard of a rape fantasy? How about tying that into an aggressive form of tying someone up with a rope?  What's interesting is our guest, John Zorklunn, emphasizes heavily the importance of empathy to have a successful and healthy experience of this kind.  This was an incredibly interesting episode. Every Tuesday we come at you with Just the Tip Tuesday where we offer a 10 minute segment from a previous episode.  Our episodes can be a bit long sometimes, and it can be hard to remember everything, so this is an option to get bite sized bits of information on a weekly basis.  Today's episode is a segment from EP030 - Rope Play with John Zorklunn. If you want to listen to the full episode, head on over there for a great chat.

  • EP039: Why Vulnerability is Sexy

    29/09/2016 Duration: 52min

    Our guest today, Tziporah Kingsbury, is well known as the Love Guru after being on ABC’s the Bachelor as a relationship coach for the Bachelor and one of his ladies.  Today she’s going to share with us what vulnerability is and why it’s your most powerful asset in a relationship. AND, you'll learn 3 Keys to elevate your communication skills around uneasy emotions that will promote being heard,understand and create greater connection. You can get access to her book by going here: More details are in our show notes on

  • EP038: Delayed Ejaculation

    28/09/2016 Duration: 26min

    Sometimes, no matter how turned on we get with a partner, we simply won’t cum.  It’s frustrating as hell for us guys, and it can be insulting for our partners. “Am I not hot enough, or turning you on enough?” are some thoughts that might be rolling around in his/her head.   The truth is, it shouldn’t be insulting. Because when we can’t orgasm, it’s rarely our partner. 95% of the time, it’s our shit that’s preventing us from either knowing our own arousal or communicating our needs or dealing with our sexual shame.  This goes for both women and men.   Today's episode is a conversation between me and a past client and friend who's dealt with not being able to ejaculate during sex.  I offer him a few solutions.  Some may resonate well with you, and others may not.  It's a subjective thing, orgasm.  If you want some personalized, more in depth help, you can reach me at for a free 20min consult.

  • EP037: Just the Tip Tuesday - Rude Awakening

    27/09/2016 Duration: 15min

    Anger, and our other darker emotions, can be pretty nasty.  They can really screw up our lives if we don't know how to heal them.  In this episodes, Phil goes through some deep stuff explaining the difference between suppression and repression of memories and emotions. He also explains how we can let go of those emotions that interfere with building solid relationships. Every Tuesday we come at you with Just the Tip Tuesday where we offer a 10 minute segment from a previous episode.  Our episodes can be a bit long sometimes, and it can be hard to remember everything, so this is an option to get bite sized bits of information on a weekly basis.  Today's episode is a segment from EP032 - Rude Awakening. If you want to listen to the full episode, head on over there for a great chat.

  • EP036: The 5 Elements of Intimacy

    22/09/2016 Duration: 01h02min

    There are 5 elements to creating incredible intimacy with your partner: 1) Physical 2) Mental 3) Emotional 4) Energetic 5) Spiritual If any of these are missing, you might leave the experience thinking there could have been something a little bit better.  Steven Seva has some solid insights for people who want to take the intimacy of their love making to a whole new level.

  • EP035: Defeating Erectile Dysfunction

    22/09/2016 Duration: 27min

    Erectile dysfunction is a fucking pain.  It's embarrassing.  But it doesn't have to be. It's only embarrassing if a man ties his identity to his erection and "performance" in the bedroom.  That's not what makes a man. A man is defined by his ability to handle challenges, and how he treats the people he encounters in life. But obviously, we want to have erections. So in today's show, I give you some personal stories, and some information on various reasons why men can encounter this challenge, and different solutions.  I hope this helps you!

  • EP034: Sometimes....Sex Sucks

    14/09/2016 Duration: 16min

    Is sex always this mindblowingly amazing experience for you? Hell, I teach this stuff and sometimes it's not all that great. But something weird happens when it's not all that good. We get either upset, or really disappointed or we feel insecure, or we blame our partner. But maybe, we should just accept that sometimes, sex isn't going to be all that great. Sometimes it's going to be lack luster. And that's okay.  But there are 2 things that we can do to prevent those lack luster experiences from happening too often.

  • EP033: Multiple Orgasms for Men

    08/09/2016 Duration: 01h11min

    Did you know that men can experience Multiple Orgasms? And did you know that they can be non-ejaculatory orgasms? Yes. It's true. And no, you don't get blue balls. It's quite astounding, especially when you have your first experience. Today's guest is Steven Seva, a tantra coach who's been teaching for the better part of a decade. He'll be sharing with you how you can retrain your nervous system to experience multiple, non-ejaculatory orgasms. And he also goes through what our partners need to do to help.  This show was an absolute blast. Enjoy

  • EP032: Threesomes

    07/09/2016 Duration: 39min

    Have you ever thought you wanted a threesome, but didn't know how to get one, or how to make sure everyone was happy and included?  This is the show to listen to. In this VERY conversational episode, Veronica and I share personal stories of situations that went well, and not-so-well. And we give you the sure fire ways to make sure those who want this experience, have a good one.

  • EP031: Just the Tip Tuesday - Emotional Trust

    06/09/2016 Duration: 11min

    Emotional trust is something that comes with time and is earned. And with Sheleana's advice, you'll definitely be able to earn it. She advises men to let their partners be angry, but there's a way to do it that earns respect. She also clarifies the reasons of why it's so important to have a community to rely on for your emotional needs, rather than dumping all your emotional baggage on your partner. She's chock full of wisdom. Every Tuesday is Just The Tip Tuesday where you get a 10min segment of a previous episode. The hour long interviews can be a bit much for some people, so we put together shorter version of a previous episode for you. This segment is from Episode 24 titled The #1 Key to Emotional Trust. If you enjoy this segment, you'll love the full interview.

  • EP030: Keys to Incredible Touch

    01/09/2016 Duration: 48min

    Believe it or not, not all touch is deliberate. Sometimes we do it unconsciously because we're feeling insecure.  Which is not sexy.  And women often feel uncomfortable asking for what they want, which means men don't know how to ask. And since men don't learn how to touch better, and they're not allowed to ask, their touch is mediocre. It's a not so merry-go-round. Robert Kandell, the Founder of Tuff Love has over 15 years of instruction in touch, specifically oriented around female orgasm. He's going to explain how to have the right mindset around touch, as well as some exercises you can play with at home tonight. Enjoy the show!

  • EP029: Premature Ejaculation Part 4 of 4

    31/08/2016 Duration: 12min

    We've talked a lot about ejaculation. The last few weeks we were talking about mindset, and in my mind, that's the most important thing. But today, I'm giving you a practical tip that you can use to improve your pleasure and last longer in the bedroom. Here are the basic rules: 1) No porn. 2) Masturbate for 20min at least 4 times a week 3) Ejaculate only once a week 4) Play with your arousal arc (which we get into in the show) If you'd like to get a copy of the book that has all this information, and a ton more, stay tuned as I'll be updating the links here later today. OR, sign up for our newsletter by going to our website and you'll get notified when it's available on special. The title of the book is "10 Steps to Longer Sex: A Book for Men on Improving Pleasure and Delaying Ejaculation"  Enjoy the show

  • EP028: Just the Tip Tuesday - Orgasmic Meditation

    30/08/2016 Duration: 09min

    Orgasmic Meditation is when a woman lies on the floor and has someone stroke her clitoris for 15 minutes. It's a great way for women to deepen their pleasure, and learn how to ask for what they want without feeling guilty. And despite the name, it's not actually driven by orgasm. Every Tuesday we have a "Just the Tip Tuesday" episode that is a 10 minute segment from a previous episode. This segment is from Episode 3 titled Orgasmic Meditation. If you enjoy this segment head over to the full interview and give it a listen.

  • EP027: How Abstinence Can Improve Self-Esteem

    25/08/2016 Duration: 54min

    Abstinence is forced on many religious people. But not Oanh Love! She chose to abstain from sex. Which sounds crazy to most of us, but her story is a very interesting one.  She did it specifically so she could: 1) Get over all her baggage 2) Learn to receive without feeling guilty 3) Feel happy without being in a relationship/having sex Not only was her experience an interesting one, but she also shares a fun little masturbation technique for all the ladies out there.  Enjoy!

  • EP026: Premature Ejaculation Part 3/4 - Anger

    24/08/2016 Duration: 12min

    Premature ejaculation. Or involuntary ejaculation in the words of Esther Perel, author Mating in Captivity (and I like that term better...).  It can plague the mind. Many men have dealt with it in the past. Last week was the second of 4 episodes on Premature Ejaculation.  This week we dive into anger, how: -it's NOT aggression -it's a tool (not unlike a gun), -it destroys anxiety. Every Wednesday is going to be Humpday Share, where I share something of my own, or something from the team. Enjoy!

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