Aces Radio

Phase I? MORE LIKE PHASE WON AMIRITE LOL oh wait Crew didn't win both games FML. The lads are here to check in; Bront is drunk in the pool, Drabby is dodging killer squirrels, and John wants to draw you like one of his French girls. They discuss the results against Chicago and NYC and highlight the players' strike for social justice. Also Dell Loy Hansen can go to hell. Man Balls are awarded, the lads discuss who's going to pull an Eddie Gaven, and they preview the next two games. Also, Drabby doesn't know how the mute button works.

WE'RE BACK, BABY. And so is MLS. Kind of. I guess. Bront and Drabby welcome back the one and only SEAN SITAR to the show. The lads talk about what Phase I of the MLS return will look like for the Columbus Crew, the new benchwarming acquisitions, and they preview games against not-Bridgeview and not-Jersey. Man Balls are awarded, and we discuss what Crew player we'd want to have as a boss. Also, Sean floats a terrible idea about the Hot Takes segment.

Just when you thought it was safe to get used to the idea of the Crew playing soccer again... NOPE. Drabby, Bront, and SPECIAL GUEST HOST ANDY STANKEY (WITH GUEST GUEST APPEARANCE BY JULIE STANKEY) discuss the "game" against Minnesota United. The lads discuss what comes next for MLS (hint: not a lot), how the Crew front office took care of player families, and who we DON'T want taking PKs. Man Balls are awarded, Bront keeps reminding Drabby of stuff he forgot, and Andy talks about his kink (hint: you can put it in your mouth). The lads preview nothing, because life is an endless hellscape.

So, apparently Crew want to keep playing soccer. Cool. It's another MLS Is Back, Coronavirus Is Still Here edition of ACES Radio! Drabby, Bront, and SPECIAL GUEST HOST CHARLES CANPENISNO discuss the results against NYRB, ATLUTDWTF, and their overall impressions of the group stage. They talk injuries (many), stadium virtual events (one), and Nordecke efforts with Voycenow (maybe more than one? GASP). The gang talks about who the best emergency goalkeeper would be, man balls are awarded (#EightBallsAtOnce), then Bront brings up random shit nobody knows about. Finally, Charles talks about his kink (hint, it's very hairy) and the lads preview Crew vs. The Fightin' Ethan Finlays of Minnesota, eh? 

Welcome to the COVID Cup! Bront and Drabby call in to discuss how things are going in the world's most permeable bubble! Topics include a lad check-in, why John's name isn't mentioned above, Crew vs. FC Fusslads, that weird-ass survey about going to games, and who you'd like to go to Zoombezi Bay with. Also, they preview the match vs. Red Bull, except the game is already over as I'm typing this summary. Oops. 

We're back and and in mid-season form for a sport that is in early season hiatus! John and Drabby discuss things while Bront is off licking N95 masks clean to make the world a safer place. The lads check in, as #BestFriendsLunch is off the table (haha). They discuss the new CBA, the Orlando "plan" (air quotes definitely intended), and team/player responses to #BlackLivesMatter. They also talk about which players they think should be the MLSPA rep, and give their man balls no thought whatsoever. 

Are you still listening? No, seriously. We haven't had actual soccer to talk about in like six weeks. Regardless, John, Bront, and Drabs check in... the panel discusses Bront's new career as a mask-licker. No, seriously. John reveals that he hates all Crew players and wouldn't buy their jerseys. No, seriously. Drabby thanks you, the person reading this, on the show. No, seriously.  These are all actual things that happen.  What a world. 

Good news: your favorite podcast is still putting out content! And ACES Radio is doing the same! John, Drabby, and Bront check in and wind up talking about grills like a bunch of cargo short wearing dads. #Rest. Then the lads discuss Crewzers Best All-Time Starting XI, and boy will Bront appall you. Not with his answers, just as a person. Last, they debate which Crew players, current and former, would be superheroes and what their abilities would be. Oh, they also check in on the Steps Challenge and talk about how you're all definitely cheating. 

No soccer? No problem. Except problem, because soccer podcast. Anyway, John, Drabby, and Bront check in on each other and our respective roommates, raccoon or otherwise. We talk about the first week of the #Crew96 Steps Challenge, including who's pulling up the rear and getting the bulk. We talk season tickets and what might need to happen with all that, then hit the important issue of the day: who's the best cook on the team, and what's their dish? Hard-hitting stuff, gang. 

If you thought a lack of anything worthwhile to discuss would stop us, you've never listened to this podcast before. Today, John, Drabby, and Bront discuss what life continues to be like in the #StayAtHome era. They discuss the Crew 30 Day Steps Challenge, recipes from the Crew dietitian, how the FO might handle ticket money if the season is scrapped, and who they think the best Steps Challenge coaches would be. On Segment 2... fuck it, no Segment 2. On Segment 3... nah, just hit "end recording," John.

It's another #StayAtHome episode of ACES Radio! In today's Segment 1, John, Drabby, and not Bront check in on each other like true Best Friends do when there's no lunch. We talk FIFA and how bad BigWhiskeyEd is at it. Finally, we discuss the best Crew hair in history (hint: Morgan doesn't make the cut... GET IT? CUT?!) In Segment 2, JairadBallerina talks about his kink. Here's a hint: you need 1-5 other people involved, and sometimes minors. In Segment 3, Drabby reads YOUR hot takes and actually updates the standings. What a world.

You think your virtual happy hours are awkward? Wait til you hear this episode of ACES Radio! In Segment 1, John, Drabby, and Bront talk about what life has been like in #StayAtHomeOhio and what's happening in the Crew social media world. In Segment 2, John talks about his kink... it turns out, he likes it when people watch. In Segment 3, we read NEARLY ALL of your hot takes, and Drabby forgets to update the blood point standings, while John narrowly remembers to do the commercial. Way to go, guys. 

Well, there's no soccer. But that didn't stop John, Drabby, and Bront from firing up the microphones. In Segment 1, the lads talk about what life has been like in the past week. Man Balls are given out, and Bront has a tender moment. Also, we talk about how to feed your FIFA Kink. In Segment 3 (yes, we know there's no 2), YOUR hot takes are read. Literally all of them. We discuss what the future might look like for Crew fans, the upcoming Patreon, and how you can join the ACES Radio Slack. 

We're back! We're audible! And we won't blow out your eardrums! Now it's just the content that sucks. John, Drabby, and Bront don't have a secret guest because fuck coronavirus. But they do recap the Crew vs. Seattle match in Segment 1, along with the injuries that plague the team, and the lads hand out Man Balls. In Segment 2, you find out what Bront's kink is. Hint: it requires four people. The panel is horrified. In Segment 3, YOUR hot takes are shared with the world, if they're good or bad enough. Alex Thomas pops in with a weather report that is largely irrelevant, and the lads consider a world without soccer for a month. 

John and Drabby are here. Bront is here--and audible, unfortunately. And SPECIAL GUEST HOST Alex Thomas, AKA Uncle Aligator, AKA Uncle Sportman himself, joins the lads. In Segment 1, we talk NYCFCSC, what new players showed the best for the Crew, and thoughts on the Pipa situation. In Segment 2, we ask Alex what his kinks are. In Segment 3, YOUR hot takes, the weather report for Saturday, and match thoughts on the Seattle Soccer Inventors. 

Okay, shitlords. It's here. John and Drabby welcome Gemini back to the show as SPECIAL POTENTIAL GUEST HOST #1. In segment 1, the gang talks offseason. In segment 2, Gemini talks about video games and D&D, like all good soccer podcasts. Segment 3 has YOUR hot takes (well, some of them), and stuff about NYCFC or whatever. 

I can't believe we've done this. AGAIN. 

If you've ever listened to ACES Radio, don't. Love you.

If you could just go ahead and not listen to anything after segment two, that'd be great.