So Very Wrong About Games

There are times when immediately upon finishing recording, one or both of our hosts immediately feel the tremendous regret of having forgotten The Thing. But, alas, the moment has passed, and they cannot now mention The Thing. The only redress available is this episode description, which sadly no one but you reads. We salute you, hyper-literate outlier!This week, The Thing is Wavelength--recently-released masterful filler and wonderful fodder for holiday gaming in mixed circles. Rest assured the host feel pretty stupid most of the time, but doubly stupid for neglecting to mention Wavelength.AYURIS: Sentinels of the Multiverse 1m45s (Christopher Badell, Paul Bender, & Adam Rebottaro, Greater Than Games, 2011)Games Played Last Week: -Amun-Re the Card Game 4m47s (Reiner Knizia, Super Meeple, 2016)-The King's Dilemma 7m41s (Hjalmar Hach & Lorenzo Silva, Horrible Guild, 2019)-Pandemic: Rapid Response 16m32s (Kane Klenko, Z-Man, 2019)-Yokohamma 18m10s (Hisashi Hayashi, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2016)-Street

Black Secret was an expansion to Ghost Stories where you played as vicious, frenetic shoppers trying to ascertain what were the best hidden deals on Black Friday. I think. If nothing else, one can appreciate the fact that online shopping might one day prevent the trampling deaths that accompany this uniquely retail "holiday." The end of brick and mortar retail will surely be a great loss, and one that hurts our hobby a great deal, but come on--that inevitable b-roll of crazed bargain hunters year after year is a psychically damaging indictment of our culture.Games Played Last Week: -Marco Polo II: In the Service of the Khan 2m27s (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Hans im Gluck, 2019)-Catan: Starfarers 7m39s (Klaus Teuber, KOSMOS, 2019)-Neuroshima Hex! 3.0 11m39s (Michal Oracz, Portal Games, 2006)-Caylus Magna Carta 14m59s (William Attia, Ystari Games, 2007)-Vindication 20m56s (Marc Neidlinger, Orange Nebula, 2018)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Ticket to Ride with Alexa 22m23s-So Much Sakur

Walker introduces a new feature, the LIGHTNING ROUND. Destinies are determined and legends are forged in the lightning round, or at least they could be if it were not merely the pretext for his trolling. Someone should translate "I'm not saying, I'm just saying" into Latin so he can make it his family credo. AYURIS: The Voyages of Marco Polo 2m00s (Simone Luciani & Daniele Tascini, Hans im Gluck, 2015)Games Played Last Week: -The Menace Among Us 5m06s (Jeff Gum, Smirk & Dagger, 2019)-Wayfinders 9m18s (Thomas Dagenais-Lespérance, Pandasaurus Games, 2019)-Paranormal Detectives 12m41s (Szymon Maliński, Adrian Orzechowski, & Marcin Łączyński, Lucky Duck Games, 2019)-Barenpark: The Bad News Bears 17m44s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout Games, 2019)-Modern Art 19m54s (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 1992)-Gaia Project 21m41s (Jens Drögemüller & Helge Ostertag, Feuerland Spiele, 2017)-Wavelength 25m13s (Alex Hague, Justin Vickers, & Wolfgang Warsch, Palm Court, 2019)-Babylonia 29m56s (

Sorry, people, no episode this week. Mark explains why.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We puzzle over the practices and intentions of game designers this week as though we were archaeologists trying to divine the practices of ashen Pompeiians. Why did these authors insert this mechanism into their artifact? Was it a mating ritual? Was it an obeisance to some vengeful, long-dead god? Was it to shoehorn in player interaction? Or was it to placate a Kickstarter audience? Oh, sorry, that one is redundant with the obeisance to a god thing. Also the mating ritual thing, if you think about it.Games Played Last Week: -Wavelength 1m12s (Alex Hague, Justin Vickers, & Wolfgang Warsch, Palm Court, 2019)-Carcassonne: Gold Rush (Klaus-Jürgen Wrede, Hans im Gluck, 2014)-Unmatched: Battle of Legends 12m56s (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2019)-The Menace Among Us 15m41s (Jeff Gum, Smirk & Dagger, 2019)-Barenpark 19m19s (Phil Walker-Harding, Lookout Games, 2017)-Vindication 20m41s (Marc Neidlinger, Orange Nebula Productions, 2018)News (and why it doesn't matte

You can replace the Mark and Walker voices with lovingly-rendered miniatures with the SVWAG Host Minis add-on, which you can have for $35, but only if you pay for it before you know what they look like and before you know the content of the episode. You can also buy the SVWAG playmat, metal coins, realistic resources, microphone first-player marker, and custom insert. This is a free podcast that can cost you a zillion dollars. Decide now, though!AYURIS: Root 2m02s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Warhammer Underworlds: Beastgrave 3m41s (David Sanders, Games Workshop, 2019)-Era: Medieval Age 8m23s (Matt Leacock, eggertspiele, 2019)-Ghost Blitz 12m03s (Jacques Zeimet, Zoch Verlag, 2010)-Menara 13m23s (Oliver Richtberg, Zoch Verlag, 2018)-Unmatched: Battle of Legends 14m01s (Rob Daviau, JR Honeycutt, & Justin D. Jacobson, Restoration Games, 2019)-The Menace Among Us 19m38s (Jeff Gum, Smirk & Dagger, 2019)-Hit Z Road 22m01s (Martin Wallace, Space Cowboys, 2016)News (and why it doe

Fatherhood is the overall theme of this week's episode. Imagine Harry Chapin's Cat's in the Cradle, except with the father played by Vladimir the Great and the son by Svyatopolk the Accursed. "When you coming home, dad?" asks the Accursed, to which the reply is "I don't know when. But we'll get together then, son." And then, the son allegedly murders several of his siblings in a vicious power struggle. Just like in the song! Folk music of the seventies is more bloodthirsty than many people recall. Remember that Cat Stevens song about the wars of the Diadochi? It was even better than his acoustic rendering of the murder of the Romanovs.Games Played Last Week: -Letter Jam 4m01s (Ondra Skoupý, CGE, 2019)-Codenames: Duet 8m22s (Vlaada Chvátil & Scot Eaton, CGE, 2017)-Spirit Island 9m57s (R. Eric Reuss, Greater Than Games, 2017)-The Crusoe Crew 13m02s (Shuky, Makaka Editions, 2019) -UGO! 15m28s (Ronald Hoekstra, Thomas Jansen, & Patrick Zuidhof, IELLO, 2013)-Carcassonne

SHUX has passed, but the memories have not. Your hosts give a final rundown of some of the goings-on during the august October event.Mark asserts that no one is less competitive than he, no one by a long shot, he is much less competitive than you and if you disagree he will fight you. Unless you are a child or infirm, in which case he will still fight you out of a grudging sense of duty and respect, but he will pull his punches. Some of them. Editorial note: the hosts neglected to repeat that Air, Land & Sea was a review copy received from the author. They apologize for the oversight.Added SHUX dig: The Quacks of Quedlinburg 2m18s (Wolfgang Warsch, Scmidt Spiele, 2018)AYURIS: Yellow & Yangtze 5m38s (Reiner Knizia, Grail Games, 2018) and Tigris & Euphrates (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 1997)Games Played Last Week: -Durance 8m05s (Jason Morningstar, Bully Pulpit Games, 2012)-Aftermath 10m33s (Jerry Hawthorne, Plaid Hat Games, 2019)-Mysthea 13m09s (Martino Chiacchiera & Marta Ciaccasassi, Tabul

"You two are idiots."-QuinnsWe are live (on tape)! With special guest Quintin Smith aka Quinns from Shut Up & Sit Down. Also featuring guest appearances from French Canadian snack cakes, passive aggression, wonderful prizes (none for you, sorry, all gone), and the man who saved your life, Vasili Arkhipov! Also some feedback and noise from the megagame next door. Oh, well.Games Played Last Week: -Irish Gauge 8m34s (Tom Russell, Capstone Games, 2014)-Mandala 10m39s (Trevor Benjamin & Brett J. Gilbert, Lookout Games, 2019)-Warband: Against the Darkness 15m20s (Micah Fuller, Dyskami Publishing Company, 2015)-Ragusa 18m29s (Fabio Lopiano, Capstone Games, 2019)-Flash Duel 22m43s (David Sirlin, Sirlin Games, 2010)-Cowboy Bebop: Boardgame Boogie 27m17s (Josh Derksen, Thomas M. Gofton, & Aron Murch, Jasco Games, 2019)-Glory to Rome 29m37s (Carl Chudyk, Cambridge Games Factory, 2005)-Labyrinthos 31m07s (Lindsey Rose, Dog Might Games, 2020)-Quacks of Quedlinburg 36m03s (Wolfgang Warsch, Schmidt Spiel

The saturation point is the point at which you can no longer dissolve a deck of cards into a bottle of water. I am told that in summer, it feels hotter than it is really is because of all the board game particles diffused throughout the air. It gets really hard to breathe sometimes--my cousin nearly choked on a cube, once. The dewpoint, I think, is the temperature at which a full copy of Catan will coalesce out of nowhere. Join us for our podcast about science.AYURIS: Thunderstone Quest 2m22s (Mike Elliott, Bryan Reese, & Mark Wootton, AEG, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Teotihuacan: Late Preclassic Period 4m06s (Rainer Ahlfors, Andrei Novac, & Daniele Tascini, Board2Dice, 2019)-Tigris & Euphrates 6m07s (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 1997)-Cockroach Poker 8m36s (Jacques Zeimet, Drei Magier Spiele, 2004)-Sidereal Confluence 10m22s (TauCeti Deichmann, Wizkids, 2017)-Slide Quest 12m27s (Nicolas Bourgoin & Jean-François Rochas, Blue Orange, 2019)-Obscurio 13m24s (L'Atelier, Libellud, 2019)-Ment

The cube trundles onward, marching inexorably--if haltingly--towards its ultimate destination. It is told it must explore, and so explore it does. The other cube conquers, but that is not this cube's concern. They met once at a party. It seemed nice, but that was long ago, and the cube must explore, not mingle. Sometimes it does not explore; sometimes it scores for some quantity of non-explore things. These things it does not understand, but it knows that points are good, and so it does those things. The explore cube also cares about farms, for some reason, and mushrooms. Near the end of its track, it pauses--not for lack of mushrooms, this time, but out of an uncharacteristic self-doubt. Why does it do these things, it wonders. What mad god intersperses these random tasks so? And down from Olympus comes the pronouncement of the cube's controller--perhaps that very mad god, or perhaps merely a lesser divinity in thrall of some yet more powerful, some yet more capricious deity--"BECAUSE THEME."

Mark thinks it is colossally unfair that he gets so much flak for speaking French when mediocre game designers get to throw around a word like "tableau." Then again, Mark and Walker can't quite agree on what a tableau constitutes. Mark seems to define it the way that American judge famously defined pornography--he knows it when he sees it--whereas Walker is more conspiratorial about tableaus (Tableaux? Tableausies?), seeing them everywhere and lurking behind every player board or suite of special powers. Nothing seems to inspire disagreement among geeks like a taxonomy. AYURIS: Street Masters 2m17s (Adam Sadler & Brady Sadler, Blacklist Games, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Attribute 5m27s (Marcel-Andre Casasola Merkle, Z-Man Games, 2002)-Pax Pamir: Second Edition 7m33s (Cole Wehrle, Wehrlegig Games, 2019)-Air, Land & Sea 9m57s (Jon Perry, Arcane Wonders, 2018)-Shadows of Malice: Revised 2nd Printing 13m27s (Jim Felli, Devious Weasel Games, 2019)-Undaunted: Normandy 17m10s (Trevor Benjamin

Adorable little pudgy robots soar through a blazing pink sky, stubby arms outstretched as they speed towards their destination--a yellow planet in the distance. "GIVE ME YOAR COOOBS" bellow the aliens upon arrival. "POINTZ 4 COOOOBS." A robot obliges, and a sonorous "cha-ching" resounds through its programming. But the robot is now a drifting derelict, its home ship long gone. It is now doomed to tumble through inky pinkness until its energy reserves burn to nothing. It begins to wonder, "Why have I done this? What is my purpose? What is this all for?" And the cosmos replies with a whisper, "It is for 1-4 players."Games Played Last Week: -Hellboy: The Board Game 2m03s (James M. Hewitt & Sophie Williams, Mantic Games, 2019)-Mech Command: RTS 4m37s (Chris Gabrielson, Bad Crow Games, 2018)-Modern Art 8m06s (Reiner Knizia, CMON, 2017)-XenoShyft: Dreadmire 10m21s (Michael Shinall, CMON, 2017)-Among Thieves 12m32s (Floyd Pretz, Indie Boards & Cards, 2019)-Barenpark 15

We return to games of weeks past, for the most part, to see if our initial impressions persist. We were young and foolish in past weeks, of course, whereas now we are older and foolish. Whether our errors mature like fine wine or spoil to the vinegar of harsh insight is up to you. One thing is certain, though--our metaphors certainly aren't getting any sweeter.AYURIS: SEAL Team Flix 2m09s (Pete Ruth & Mark Thomas, WizKids, 2018)Games Played Last Week: -Kobayakawa 5m46s (Jun Sasaki, IELLO, 2013)-Black Angel 7m25s (Sébastien Dujardin, Xavier Georges, & Alain Orban, Pearl Games, 2019)-Human Punishment: Social Deduction 2.0 9m05s (Stefan Godot, Godot Games, 2018)-Teotihuacan: Late Preclassic Period 12m40s (Rainer Ahlfors, Andrei Novac, & Daniele Tascini, Board&Dice, 2019)-Import/Export 17m52s (Jordan Draper, Dark Flight, 2017)-Rangers of Shadow Deep 21m37s (Joseph McCullough, Self-published, 2018)-Horizon Wars 23m13s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)News (and why it doesn't matter):

The Card Crafting System returns once more, its heaps of mylar inserting into our gaming life. I would say it darkens our door, but the things are mostly transparent, so the idiom doesn't quite fit. One wonders whether and how one could sleeve a Card Crafting game, given that the games largely consist of sleeves already--but once one has witnessed the recursive horror that is sleeve sleeves, you cannot doubt the persistence and ingenuity of the Cult of Sleeves. They will, like life, find a way--perhaps sleeving each insert before inserting them into an ur-sleeve that will smother us all. The horror.Games Played Last Week: -Tiny Epic Mechs 1m32s (Scott Almes, Gamelyn Games, 2019)-Yokohama 2m45s (Hisashi Hayashi, Tasty Minstrel Games, 2016)-Risk: Mass Effect Galaxy at War Edition 7m43s (Andrew Wolf, The OP, 2013)-Pulsar 2849 10m37s (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)-Antidote 13m06s (Dennis Hoyle, Bellwether Games, 2013)-Human Punishment: Social Deduction 2.0 14m33s (Stefan Godot, Godot Games, 2018)-Villagers 18m21

There are happy stories. Stories of social serendipity, where you like them and they like you, and all opinions are as one and there is harmony. Where no awkward conversations need be had and no unfortunate lines drawn. Where no one is annoyed, and no one is harassed, and no one must bury their preferences so as to placate another. These are not these stories.AYURIS: Food Chain Magnate 1m37s (Jeroen Doumen & Joris Wiersinga, Splotter Spellen, 2015)Games Played Last Week: -Gugong 3m50s (Andreas Steding, Game Brewer, 2018)-Infinity 4m37s (Gutier Lusquiños Rodríguez, Corvus Belli, 2005)-Slide Quest 7m34s (Nicolas Bourgoin & Jean-François Rochas, Blue Orange, 2019)-Rhino Hero Super Battle 11m41s (Scott Frisco & Steven Strumpf, HABA, 2017)-Tiny Epic Mechs 13m40s (Scott Almes, Gamelyn Games, 2019)-Horizon Wars 16m50s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)-Calimala 20m39s (Fabio Lopiano, ADC Blackfire Entertainment GmbH, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Hansa Teutonica Big Box! 21m52s-After t

So. Many. Games. Even after careful curation and surgical editing, Mark and Walker talk about thirteen different games they played last week, not even counting the feature game. It was truly a good week. New games! Old games! Co-ops, minis, dexterity, wargames! Come join us at the cornucopia of amusement that is this week's SVWAG.Games Played Last Week: -Beasts of Balance 1m29s (George Buckenham & Alex Fleetwood, Sensible Object, 2016)-Teotihuacan: City of Gods 3m32s (Daniele Tascini, NSKN Games, 2018)-Obsession 4m19s (Dan Halladay, Kayenta Games, 2018)-Star Trek: Conflick in the Neutral Zone 6m31s (Mike Elliott, WizKids, 2019)-Pandemic: Fall of Rome 11m10s (Matt Leacock & Paolo Mori, Z-Man, 2018)-Pandemic: Rapid Response 12m25s (Kane Klenko, Z-Man Games, 2019)-Concordia 16m18s (Mac Gerdts, PD-Verlag, 2013)-Pulsar 2849 19m26s (Vladimír Suchý, CGE, 2017)-Lords of Hellas: Dark Ages Expansion 25m01s (Adam Kwapiński, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Just One 28m06s (Ludovic Roudy & Bruno Sautter, Repos Produc

What is gaming other than an outlet for vicarious experiences and thrills? To enjoy the simulacrum of killing, adventure, high finance, and impressing feudal lords? We can thus assert with great sincerity that ours shall be the very best GenCon coverage, in that we didn't go. Why trust the easily-misled first hand accounts? We know from both philosophy and science that sense data deceives. You can put your faith in our reflections, completely unbiased by any experience.AYURIS: Kemet 1m15s (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2012)Games Played Last Week: -Kemet 3m57s (Jacques Bariot & Guillaume Montiage, Matagot, 2012)-Tower of Babel 5m41s (Reiner Knizia, Hans im Gluck, 2005)-Q.E. 10m09s (Gavin Birnbaum, Boardgametables.com, 2019)-The Ares Project 11m53s (Brian Engelstein & Geoff Engelstein, Z-Man, 2011)-Mech Command RTS 14m28s (Chris Gabrielson, Bad Crow Games, 2018)-Import/Export 20m14s (Jordan Draper, Dark Flight Games, 2017)News (and why it doesn't matter):-How many Cyperpunks

Failure can be a fortuitous thing, which is very good for Mark, as he is well accustomed to failure. While this week's review of Pax Renaissance is certainly not on the scale of, say, penicillin, it did give him the opportunity to play one of his top 20 games more. As to whether Walker profited or suffered from this development is a deep and abiding mystery solvable only by listening to this week's episode.Games Played Last Week: -Gaslands 2m29s (Glenn Ford & Mike Hutchinson, Osprey Publishing, 2017)-Space Hulk 3rd edition 4m56s (Richard Halliwell, Games Workshop, 2009)-Horizon Wars 7m37s (Robey Jenkins, Osprey Publishing, 2016)-Time of Crisis 10m30s(Wray Ferrell & Brad Johnson, GMT, 2017)-Q.E. 12m30s (Gavin Birnbaum, Boardgametables.com, 2019)-Lords of Hellas: Dark Ages Expansion 15m12s (Adam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Getaway Driver 16m12s (Jeff Beck, Uproarious Games, 2019)News (and why it doesn't matter):-Goodbye to Richard Berg 18m17s-Spyfall through time 19m35s-The unfolding Gol

We can pretend that our adult pastimes are more sophisticated and evolved from the trivialities of mere children, but really, let's admit it--it's all the same. We can't claim any degree of superiority when compared to the antics of ankle-biters. Let's be mature about it and lean into the juvenalia, shall we? My doll is better than your doll. My doll has the Plasmanator Meltotron. You can't hit my doll, it has an invisible everything shield! AYURIS: Keyflower 1m58s (Sebastian Bleasdale & Richard Breese, R&D Games, 2012)Games Played Last Week: -Pax Renaissance 4m25s (Phil Eklund & Matt Eklund, Sierra Madre Games, 2016)-Root 4m27s (Cole Wehrle, Leder Games, 2018)-Neuroshima Hex! 3.0 6m46s (Michal Oracz, Portal Games, 2006)-Modern Art 8m30s (Reiner Knizia, CMON, 2017)-Quadropolis 12m30s (Francois Gandon, Days of Wonder, 2016)-Lords of Hellas: Lord of the Sun 14m03s (Adam Kwapinski, Awaken Realms, 2019)-Men at Work 17m53s (Rita Modl, Pretzel Games, 2019)-Rhino Hero Giant Edition 18