How Rude! The Full House Podcast

Caroline Thrasher just finished some steamy Sailor Moon fan fiction and is ready to help us break down Blast From the Past, in which a woman named Patty turns up to use Joey while rebounding from a vicious divorce. Hey, remember when Joey had a girlfriend and she dressed up like Olive Oyl? What the hell was her name again? Ah well, maybe we shouldn't worry about it. Meanwhile, Danny does his taxes and Jesse is a Goddamn straight up Merlin. But that's not all! Stay tuned as Caroline dishes on magic, boys and why her current catch phrase is "Kill me." Have you left us a lovely review on iTunes or told your friends about us? Please do! XOXO

Brian Holden is here to help us discuss ... wait, is that Brian or Erica? Are there some straight up Mrs. Doubtfire shenanigans going on in this studio of ours? We're gonna have to get to the bottom of this, but in the meantime, let's just assume it was Brian who helped us discuss Goodbye, Mr. Bear, in which Danny's frothing enthusiasm for spring cleaning results in Stephanie losing her most prized companion. And if you think it won't take a hard turn into depression, think again. This one is SAD, folks, so break out your tissues and tuck in. Then when it's all said and done be sure to head on over to the iTunes Store and let us know what you think. Go-go-go! P.S. Do you think Erica would go out with us? She seems super hot!

Ryan Asher may have been a chatterbox in the eyes of her teachers but here in the How Rude! forum she's just what you'd want in a guest: Fun, fanciful and fabulous. Join us as we peel back the layers of El Problema Grande de D.J., in which Danny macks on a starstruck Spanish teacher and D.J. stomps around complaining about her sorry lot in life. Aye-aye-aye, the stakes have never been higher! Ryan has a batch of great stories, some of which are delightful and others that are downright disturbing, so if you know what's good for you, you'll start listening now. Right the hell now, grunt! Oh, have you left us a review in the iTunes Store? Then get on that as well, grunt!

Mallory Bradford just got out of her cheerobics class (brought to you by Matrick Swayze and the hits of today) and is ready to shake it off with an earnest discussion of Baby Love. WARNING: This is yet another particularly gross bit of podcasting, as the sitcom forces us to consider baby romance. Full House pushes us to these extremes, people, we can't help ourselves when under its horrible spell! Anyway, Michelle falls in love and Stephanie practically has a bowel movement while watching The Wolfman. Also: Mallory is a star, despite her parent's objections, and Brandon is a weirdo. Let's dive in!

Amy Thompson is currently working on her audition for the Police Academy! reboot but she was nice enough to sit with us and evaluate Pal Joey, in which Danny's festering resentment leads him to literally dig up the past and inspire a dreadful flashback to the 1960s. Meanwhile, there's a new chief in town when Harry falls head over heels for that backstabbing trollop of a slattern known as DJ. Amy was a positive peach of a guest and we think you're gonna dig her interview, so don't miss a second of her SFX antics. Reviews! iTunes! Five stars! Tumblr, Facebook, you know the drill!

Mark Campbell is wearing an adorable Charlie Brown sweater and consequently could not be more prepared to discuss Little Shop of Sweaters, in which a perfect storm of idiotic circumstances lands DJ and Stephanie in prison. Well, maybe. Look, crimes are Goddamn straight up perpetrated in this half hour of television and we won't stand for it, ya hear? If you're a child thief like Mark or wanna hear about the Pokemon who didn't quite make the original roster, you're gonna Goddamn dig this episode of podcasting. Goddamn dig it, baby! XOXO

Nnamdi Ngwe may be out of breath from doing the Running Man for three minutes straight but he's ready to tackle Working Mothers, an episode where the title somehow manages to be more sexist than the content it represents. Look, all you need to know is Joey and Jesse might enter the advertising world full time and everyone is conspiring against them in the name of routine. The Tanners WILL NOT have their routine fucked royally by your insipid dreams! Nnamdi also gives us some insight on what it means to be a cool kid who couldn't help but kill it, be it on the soccer field or on the floor of his own private dance hall. Nnamdi is the best, so PAY ATTENTION.

Adam Levin is no fool and that's why he's in school ... to earn his honorary degree in the art of being a rude dude! Look, these setups don't write themselves, people, LAY OFF. Adam is here to help us take down Fogged In, in which the Tanner household is consumed by a force straight out of Transylvania and everyone is forced to confront their personal shit. Jesse is afraid of emotions! DJ has no respect for personal space! Kimmy is somewhere, unseen, hovering mere inches above the ground as an ancient recitation spews from her coarse, blood-stained lips! A lot is happening. Stick around for the interview portion to learn about little Adam's unflailing need to respect authority, as well as the moment he realized death comes for us all. It's a hoot!

Lori Lewis may or may not be slowly stealing carefully chosen attributes from Lori Laughlin as part of some treachorous scheme ripped wholesale from a discarded Cronenberg movie .. and we're fine with that! Lori is here to help us evaluate the pros and cons of A Little Romance, in which Becky offers the men to a frothing horde of sexually starved women and DJ has her heart broken by Bastian as part of the neverending story that is ROMANCE. Also: Brandon's cool new song is given a spice injection when Jon gets in on the mix and Lori tells us about her lovey dovey salad days. It's a great episode that, like all the others, you won't wanna miss, so get on it, dude!

Eunji Kim is wearing a hat and ready to help us discuss Middle Age Crazy, in which Stephanie marries her friend Harry in an attempt to escape the suffocating ambivalence of her family. Seriously, no one cares about Stephanie. It's a bummer! Eunji, on the other hand, is a star in the sky and we were so happy to have her on the show it's straight up ridiculous. Tell your friends and family to check out this and all of our past adventures and hey, why not leave a review in the iTunes Store? Word of mouth is key in the podcasting game, and if you want more of Eunji slapping Brandon in his own fuck dungeon, we need your gums to start flappin'. Start flappin', gums!

Rich Alfonso may no longer be a child but, like all of us, he is a child at heart, which makes him more than qualified to discuss Our Very First Christmas Show. Prepare youself: Jesse's parents are heavily invested in his sex life, Danny is determined to convert his stale home movies into morning TV gold, and Stephanie has a crisis of faith when a snowstorm strands the Tanners at an airport terminal / bus station. We also learn about Rich's family traditions as well as what we pined for gift-wise as kids. Oh, and spoiler alert: Magic is all too real in the Full House universe and nothing will be the same as a result. As always, find us in the iTunes Store and leave us a five star review, 'cause only listeners like you can help us get the word out!

Eric Harrington is a fart machine and he won't work for nobody but himself! He's also a beautiful guy and we were delighted to have him on to discuss Triple Date, in which Danny discovers his new flame is Jesse's OLD flame. Eh? Ya in? Meanwhile, DJ and Stephanie find themselves in a premise Lucille Ball would have found tiresome in the '50s. Will Danny get laid now that he's officially done humoring the ghost of his dead wife? Will Joey get laid considering he's, you know, a big bag of dumb? As always, ya gotta use your ears to find out. Make sure you peck out a quick review for us in the iTunes Store and use our Facebook page to find out all about our social media activity. You are our sons and daughters!

MJ Price has a GPA no lower than 3.8 and this reason alone made her more than qualified to be a guest on our dumb, dumb show. She's a firecracker, a real gem, and she's here to help us discuss Joey Gets Tough. This one has it all, folks: Karate! Tiffany, live from Tokyo! Dave Coulier trying his best (we assume) attempt at angry acting! And just over there, to the side, in B Plot Land, Jesse and the Rippers are desperately trying to plug their show at The Sleeve. It's definitely television. Tell your friends about us, remember to pen an iTunes review if the mood strikes you, and find us on Facebook for all your social media needs. We love you like you were our own, dammit!

Zack Shornick is an honorary Rude Dude ... but he may also be the last. Will Jon ever forgive Brandon for calling him a poopy poop-filled poop goblin? Even if Brandon apologized, would that be enough to bring them together once more? Only God and his divine angels know for sure. In the meantime, let's chat about Beach Boy Bingo, in which D.J. wins a stupid radio contest and the stupid Beach Boys show up to stumble around for a few minutes before putting on an awful concert for drunk college kids. It's a DISASTER. Zack is a gem, though, and we think he'll be a great co-host for Jon once Brandon is shipped off to some vague foreign land. Bye, Brandon! That's what you get for calling Jon a poopy poop-filled poop goblin! XOXO

Claire Meyer is casting a side eye at your fake leg and is more than willing to do the same for the likes of Full House. This week we turn out attention to Jingle Hell, in which Joey spends his coke-fueled witching hours constructing puppets just so he can destory any chance Jesse has at a career in advertising. Great job, Joey! You're doing great! Claire was an absolutely fantastic guest and a veritable wellspring of Housewife trivia, so if your ears are ready, we're ready to fill 'em with audio goodness! P.S. Claire may or may not have a thing for Bob Saget. We may never know the truth! Remember, you can always leave us a glowing review in the iTunes store when you feel the time is right, or visit us on Facebook, Libsyn, or Tumblr. Send us e-mails at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com, while you're at it! XOXO

Toby McMullen rode his fly as hell, awesome as fuck skateboard to the studio so he could aid in our discussion regarding D.J.'s Very First Horse, in which the oldest of the Tanner girls makes some startling discoveries while on the back of a strong, noble stallion named Rocket. Spoiler: Jonathon gets particularly graphic when describing said discoveries, but if you're allowing children to listen to this podcast that's clearly your mistake, not ours. Toby is a big ol' goof and we loved having him on the show, so let us know you feel the same way by leaving a five star review on iTunes and writing us at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. Tumblr, Facebook, Libsyn, Stitcher, we're all up on it, so help us spread the word! XOXO

Margaret Lebron just got out of an unproductive meeting with her high school guidance counselor and is more than ready to help us pick apart It's Not My Job, in which Jesse's vaguely Italian-Greek-Jewish-Bronx parents pay the Tanner home a visit and tensions arise over the family business (the family business being little more than a vague front for the mob). It's a great podcasting session so make sure you let us know as much on iTunes with a five star review or an e-mail sent directly to thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. And don't forget to tell your friends about us!

Stephen Kropa is in the house and let it be known right here and now: The studio gets a little dank during this recording session, ladies and gentlemen. The boys are sweaty and swampy, but they wouldn't have it any other way because they're RUDE DUDES, of course! Join them as they discuss Tanner vs. Gibbler, a harrowing tale of a friendship torn asunder by two 6th grade brats and someone known as The Duke. Will DJ and Kimmy repair their bond before the credits roll? Find out! Is their tale half as harrowing as Stephen's tale of The Three Lost Birthday Parties? No, it most assuredly isn't! Leave us a nice iTunes review, shoot us an e-mail at thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com, follow us on Tumblr and Facebook and otherwise love the living hell out of us. We're so sweaty!

Kate Kershaw took off her fancy winter gloves so she could give Cutting It Close a thorough examination. In this, the first episode of Season 2, Stephanie alters the course of Jesse's life forever during a simple game of Salon. Here's a lesson for all you new parents out there: A simple game of Salon shouldn't involve a pair of enormous, all too real scissors. Write that down, new parents! We also get to hear about Kate's childhood growing up in Appalachia as well as her sterling Roger Rabbit impression, so don't miss out, ya rude dudes! P.S. Have you left us a five star review in the iTunes Store? You'll receive kisses if you do! We're also on Tumblr (hrpodcast.tumblr.com) and feedback can be sent to thehowrudepodcast@gmail.com. Thanks again to Zack Shornick for our logo and Cary Davenport for that spiffy cover of the Full House theme!

Nico Carter was gonna go outside and fuck around but instead chose to stand with us and pick apart D.J. Tanner's Day Off, in which an absolutely exhausted pop star / drug addict morosely agrees to give the titular daughter an autograph ... but at what cost, Stacey Q? AT WHAT COST? As always, please encourage your friends to give us a shot and leave us a five star review in the iTunes Store. We're on Facebook, Libsyn, Stitcher, even Tumblr (hrpodcast.tumblr.com). We're everywhere, baby, so help spread the word!