Here's My Number, So Call Me Ishmael

You've probably noticed that, despite our name, our references to Melville and other literary giants have been limited to one-offs and name-drops. Sure, we've talked about Moby the songster. And we've talked your ears off about Dicks. But together? Instead of turning this into a classic literature fancast, we have decided to write our own novel. Expecting a joke? Not happening. This is for real. It's about magic beans and moss and uglyboys and college. Listen to us assemble our tools.