Let's Watch That Instead

We've cracked the code! Finally, we've found the common root from which all streaming blurbs spring. Now everything makes sense, the poor grammar, the vague wording choices, the incurious air exuded by the authors of all the blurbs, where have we seen these before? See if you can guess at home folks, as we dive into some deep structural analysis of what makes a blurb tick. The Pitches This Week: Fear of 13 / A Parliament of Ravensburgs - "Well he kills them with a jigsaw obviously." One-Punch Man / The Adventures of Super Lady and Loser Boy - "She can't get involved in politics because she can rip a space station in half." Ingovernable / I Should've Voted For Lizard-People - "His delusions are both grand, and terrifying." Happyish / Smile! - "There will be some scenes where he tries out love and several other lesser emotions."