Empire Of The Senseless

I can’t stop staring. The deep dark black center of her gaze is promising every little thing is going to be all right. I’ve been fasting on water only for three days. I tell myself it’s for my best performance. I have no money. I am waiting. The weakness turns into strength. She forces me to shift my perspective in eating. Its not about a tiny body babe, its about the energy. She remembers starving. She starts crying. I reach for her, my fingertips stub themselves on fogged glass. I turn the shower off and step into an empty bath, no running water. Nothing to drink, I remember. I start crying. ‘Come back she screams!’              ‘Felice Felice Felice. Little bratty baby, I haven’t gone anywhere.’ I jump on my bike and head for the library. She’s the first thing I see. I sit. I write. I laugh out loud by accident. I start singing too quietly for anyone to hear. I need to pee. I watch her walk. My knees grow weak but I’m walking anyway. I’ve been still; it’s time to prove my body’s ability to bring death back