Intentional Living With Tanya Hale

Most of us have relationships where we feel disconnected.  Sometimes things have happened in them and now there is a rift and we don't know how to feel the same closeness and connection that we used to feel.  Today we're talking about tools you can use to help heal and repair these relationships.  You won't want to miss it!

This work can be hard.  It takes a lot of self-awareness, a lot of humility to see yourself for who you really are sometimes, and a lot of determination to create the changes you want in your life.  So if it's just a lot of hard work, why invest in this process?  Why take the time to work with a coach or do self-coaching?  Why invest time and money to do something that can be so heart-wrenching and overwhelming sometimes?  Today, I'll share with you why I do it, and it will probably sound a lot like the reasons you'll want to do it as well.

It seems so easy to think that if we change our circumstance that things will get better, and they might, for a very short time.  Eventually we will catch up with circumstance and find ourselves in the same place.  When we learn to change ourselves first and our circumstance second, then we can walk away, or not, feeling complete and satisfied.  Let's chat today about loving your circumstance before you leave it.

One of the best ways to start digging deep into ourselves and seeing what's holding us back is to start looking at our motivation for what we do.  And ultimately, always, it comes back to love or fear.  When we're motivated by fear, we destroy.  When we're motivated by love, we create.  Understanding and choosing love as our motivation can help us start creating the life and the relationships that we ultimately crave.

If you want to be right, you are not alone!  Being right is a primal desire for humans, and sometimes we will work to be right at any cost.  But the thing is, the cost can be huge, and the biggest casualty is our relationships with the people we value the most.  Today let's look at our reasons behind being right and how we can let go of it.

What is the right path and how do we determine if we are on it?  Join me today as I share with you my recent personal revelations about what I've learned about my path and the paths of others.  I love growing up and learning these kinds of things about myself!

Have you ever noticed that sometimes your love will come with conditions?  And not just conditions on the front end, but conditions on the back end as well?  We often expect that when we show love to another person that they will behave in a certain way in return.  That, my friends, is controlling and manipulative.  Clean love is when we learn to love without any expectation at all.  And that, is an amazing place to get to!

So today we go into detail about how to coach yourself.  We will discover how to decide what the circumstance is, and what your thoughts are.  Then we'll discuss how to fill out the thought model to come to an awareness of how your thoughts impact and create your feelings, actions, and the results of your life.  This is the basic process for learning how to see yourself more clearly and understand how you can take more control of your life.

Peace is a feeling that many of us wish we had more of in our lives.  But often, in seeking to make our lives more peaceful on the outside, we sabotage our inner peace.  Learning how to be a peacemaker instead of just a peacekeeper is a skill that will really start to create the deep inner peace that we are really seeking.

Being willing to apologize is an important part of healthy relationships.  But when our reasons for apologizing are not so clean, it can sometimes do more damage than if we don't apologize.  Really looking at our reasons for apologizing is an important aspect of growing and progressing into the person we really want to be.

Did you have the dream that when your children became adults you would have this wonderful friendship going on? Me too. But sometimes reality means that we have children disengage and decide they no longer want to be a part of our lives. And that is really painful. Amidst that pain though, we can also find a space for peace.  And the pain and the peace can coexist in a way that has us growing up into a better version of ourselves.

Have you ever wondered how you ended up in the life you're in?  You used to have all of these dreams and desires and now you just feel a bit unfulfilled and not sure how to jumpstart your life?  You're not alone.  Far too many of us start settling just a bit at a time, and before we know it, we're living a life far below what we would actually love to be living.  But we can step back into listening to those small nudges that have us wanting more from life.  Let's talk about it.

A milestone like 200 episodes always seems to make me reflective.  I feel that since diving into life coaching the last three years, my growth game has been so huge, and these are some of the life coaching concepts that have had the greatest impact on my life, in helping me to adjust my thinking and feeling so that I can show up more the kind of person I want to be.  I hope this helps you to see the impact that this work can have in your life as well.

It can be really easy to get bogged down in our to-do lists, and some of us make list after list after list of things we want to do. I want to offer to you today the idea of creating a to-be list. Really identifying who you want to be underneath all of the hats we wear in our lives. Stepping into who we want to be will serve us at such a deeper level, and it even makes completing our to-do lists easier. There's a lot of power in the 'be'!

Last year I decided I was ready to get married.  Not because I thought it would make me happier, or a better or more worthy person, but because I really wanted to have the experience of creating and participating in a deep, emotionally intimate relationship.  To help me along the way, I used a concept called the 90 day relationship, and it was brilliant.  Today I share with you my story of how I stepped into dating with the intention of finding my person, and how I've now participated in my last 90 day dating relationship.  His name is Sione and he's perfect for me.

Conflict often gets such a bad rap. So, today I'm discussing how we can look at conflict completely different, as neutral, as people having different opinions and ideas, and how we can turn this neutral circumstance of conflict into greater connection, rather than into contention.  When used correctly, a good conflict can be the source of deeper emotional intimacy in our relationships.

We've all been there.  Someone blames and the other person gets defensive, and around and around we go.  We breed contention, when what we're really after in our relationships is connection.  So, how to break the cycle?  Today I'll teach you the tools you need to have stronger, better relationships where responsibility and curiosity reign!

'I'm sorry' is probably one of the most used phrases by women in our society.  We have been conditioned to use this phrase not just when we have done something hurtful or wrong, but very often even when we are taking up space as a human.  Today we're going to take a closer look at why it's important to stop apologizing for being a breathing human and how to acknowledge our space in the world with more gratitude and grace. 

Some of the emotions we experience in life do not feel good.  Not even a little bit.  But actually feeling and processing these emotions allows us to move through them and into a healthier space that does feel good. And when we realize how important all emotions are to our well-being, both the easy and the hard emotions, it can become easier to move into processing.  Let's chat about it!

Sometimes it seems so much easier not to say anything. So we take our 'issue' and we put it on the back burner and pretend it doesn't exist. But the thing is, things on the back burner eventually start to stink and wreak a lot of havoc in our lives. Having a no back-burner issue standard in your relationships is an amazing way to keep things clean and moving forward, and even moving deeper.