Curious Fox Podcast

How important is compartmentalization when you are in multiple relationships? Can we go too far with "don't ask, don't tell"? Are there consequences to keeping parts of our lives separate?In this week's episode, we take a trip into the multiple worlds within Jacqueline's mind and explore the reasons for compartmentalization and integration. Effy and Jacqueline examine why we separate some of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, particularly within open relationships; and reveal how too much compartmentalizing can degrade our wellbeing, our connections, and our relationships. Willy Wonka TunnelSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

How can relationship structures evolve over time? How can we thrive as our relationships change? What are some essential communication tools that can support our relationships and those in it? In this week’s episode Effy is joined by fellow podcasters Dedeker, Emily and Jase of Multiamory.  Dedeker, Emily and Jase share how their relationship evolved from a quad to a long term triad to now a whole other structure and reflect on highs and lows of each phase of their relationship. Effy, Dedeker, Emily and Jase also discuss the communication tools they have developed over the years and now published as a book of the same name. You can get a copy of Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships on the Curious Fox Bookshop. To find out more about Multiamory - Dedeker Winston, Emily Matlack, Jase LindgrenJase, Emily, and Dedeker created the Multiamory Podcast in 2014 to raise awareness, provide approachable resources, and combat the stigma faced by people in non-traditional relationships. Today, with hundred

What is Yoni gazing? Why would you want to look “down there”? How do you ask your partner to help?This week Effy is joined by long time friend of the Fox, sex and pleasure coach, Jocelyn Silva to talk about Yoni gazing. They discuss how simple yet powerful it is to intentionally look at your vulva with a mirror, and Jocelyn shares a Yoni gazing ceremony where you can connect with your vulva and nurture a relationship with this important and divide part of your body. To learn more about JocelynJocelyn Silva is a bisexual polyamorous Sexual Empowerment Coach, Sex Educator, First Generation Latina, and full-time digital nomad. She empowers YOU to embrace your sexual essence and lead a pleasure-FILLED life! She has 12 years of sex education experience, and 3 years coaching women, couples, and now men on their road to full sexual empowerment + embodiment.Instagram: @iamjocelynsilvaTikTok: @iamjocelynsilvaWebsite: www.jocelynsilva.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy

What is intersectional polyamory and how to find meaningful representation in the community? What is the impact of prescribed cultural identity on our relationships? How can we find and connect with online communities for support? In honor of Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Michelle Hy of Polyamorous While Asian to discuss how different parts of our identity impact the way we practice non-monogamy, how representation matters within polyamory, and the importance and the risks of online communities. More about MichelleInstagram @polyamorouswhileasianWebsite: polyamorouswhileasian.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

Can masturbation be an act of self care and political subversion? What are all the benefits of masturbation? If there are so many benefits of masturbation, why don’t we do it more? In this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline have a lighthearted and wisdom packed conversation about masturbation in honor of Masturbation Month. They share their personal practices, beliefs and stories about self pleasure; explore the myths, social and religious conditioning about it, and put out a plea for a better sounding language for the topic.  Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What is the sexual Shadow? How does it affect our individual and collective sexual expression? What are some of the ways we can get to know our Shadow material and work towards integrating it?In this week’s episode Effy explores the crossroads of Jungian psychology and sex with Dr Joli Hamilton. They take a deep dive into the sexual Shadow, the repressed, the unwanted aspects of sexuality. They discuss how — if it goes unexplored and unprocessed — this material impacts our collective and individual thoughts and behaviors when it comes to sex, affecting anything from legislation to our self talk. Effy and Dr Hamilton also celebrate the potential richness of this exploration as a way to deeply get to know ourselves.     More about JoliDr. Joli Hamilton is the relationship coach for couples who color outside the lines. She is a research psychologist, TEDx speaker, best-selling author, and AASECT (pronounced ay-sect) certified sex educator. Joli also co-hosts the Playing with Fire podcast with her anchor partner,

In a hypersexualized society, what is it like to be asexual? Do asexual folks have sex? Can asexuality be an important factor for female sexual liberation?In honor of International Asexuality Day (April 6th), we revisit a conversation between Effy, Jacqueline, and journalist, editor, and the author of Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen. The three talk about the asexuality spectrum, its role in identity politics, and why Angela’s book helps those of any sexual orientation understand the role of sexuality in society and in their lives.To learn more about Angela Chen, follow her on Twitter @chengela, on Instagram at @angelaetcetera, or via her website: angelachen.org.You can find her book along with other recommended reads at our Bookshop store.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation:

What are the systemic factors that support rape culture? Why is it difficult for sexual assault survivors to find their voice? What does a journey towards healing look like?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Danijela Steinfeld, a Serbian-born award-winning actress and filmmaker who is the director and producer of the documentary film Hold Me Right. The film explores the traumatic aftermath and healing process for survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence. Danijela shares the story of her assault and the journey towards finding her voice, and how she is working to eliminate sexual violence through a video game called Way Out.Watch Hold Me Right: https://holdmerightfilm.vhx.tv/Use code CURIOUSFOX for 30% off a 3-day rental of the film.To learn more about DanijelaDanijela Steinfeld is a NY-based award-winning actress and an award-winning filmmaker, activist, and serial entrepreneur, born and raised in Serbia. The motivation behind the Way Out game came from her personal experience, being held

Is there Biblical scripture that condones or encourages sexual exploration? Why would God design bodies that experience pleasure if we are not supposed to pursue pleasure? Can faith and sexuality coexist?In this episode, Jacqueline resurrects a conversation she had with Effy and De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar. They embark on an Easter egg hunt to find passages and scriptures in the Bible that talk about sex - not as a vehicle to hell, but as a beautiful, sensual, expression of joy and connection (marriage not required).To learn more about De-Andrea  De-Andrea Blaylock-Solar (she/her) is Missouri’s first Black AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist and a supervisor for social workers seeking clinical licensure in the State of Missouri. She has worked in the field of behavioral health for over 15 years. As a graduate of Saint Louis University, she majored in social work and minored in theology before completing a Master of Social Work degree at Washington University in St. Louis. She sees herself as a catalyst for positive c

Why are people into dirty talk? What are different types of dirty talk? How can we start experimenting with verbally expressing our hottest thoughts and desires?  In this episode, Effy invites Jocelyn Silva to discuss the ins and outs of dirty talk. They explore why people are into it, appreciate different types and share some solid tips on how to get started. To learn more about JocelynJocelyn Silva is a bisexual polyamorous Sexual Empowerment Coach, Sex Educator, First Generation Latina, and full-time digital nomad. She empowers YOU to embrace your sexual essence and lead a pleasure-FILLED life! She has 12 years of sex education experience, and 3 years coaching women, couples, and now men on their road to full sexual empowerment + embodiment.Instagram: @iamjocelynsilvaTikTok: @iamjocelynsilvaWebsite: www.jocelynsilva.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfo

How can you find the right doctor? What should you ask during your appointment? How can you pleasurably and safely explore anal play? What is unique about sexual health within the gay and queer community? And what is a butt clock?Erectile dysfunction, STIs, vaccinations, and safe anal play are important conversations for men – particularly queer men – to have with their doctor’s and partners. However sometimes the most important conversations are also the most difficult ones. In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline celebrate Pride and Men’s Health Month by speaking with the “butt stuff” doctor, Mayo Clinic trained gastroenterologist, Doctor Carlton.With 3 million likes and over 200,000 followers on TikTok, Doctor Carlton shares his expertise on men’s sexual health and pleasure, tips for tops and bottoms, and sex advice for every body and orientation.To learn more about Dr. CarltonDoctor Carlton is a Mayo Clinic trained gastroenterologist in San Diego, California who you have probably seen on Tik Tok or Instagram

Can psychedelics be more than a party drug? How are they used in therapy and why are they so effective? What does it take to get into a psychedelic treatment program? Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Community Support and Integration Director of the Hudson Valley Psychedelic Society, psychotherapist and clinical supervisor Dee Dee Goldpaugh to discuss her work with psychedelics and their effective use in treating and healing trauma psycho-chemically as well as spiritually. More about Dee Dee Dee Dee (they/them/theirs) is a psychotherapist, educator, clinical supervisor, author, and activist. They have taught and published widely on the topics of psychedelics, sexuality, trauma, gender, and spirituality. They have been a leading voice in the development of Psychedelic Integration Psychotherapy techniques, specifically with survivors of trauma and have published the first article to appear in an academic journal, Sex and Relationship Therapy, exploring the intersection of sexuality, spirituality, and psychedel

What’s kink and bdsm? How can we start a conversation with our partner(s) about exploring different sexual expressions? How can kink be a healing modality?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline are joined by Rena Martine to talk about how to explore the taboo in a healthy way. They discuss how kink can be therapeutic and share some resources on how to get started.Mentioned in this episode:BDSMTest.orgLina Dune - Ask a Sub - PatreonSex and Psychology PodcastBooks:Tell Me What You WantReclaiming PleasureMore about RenaRena Martine was a Los Angeles County Deputy District Attorney for 14 years, where she specialized in sex crimes, child abuse and domestic violence cases. She continues to serve women today as an intimacy coach, educator, TEDx speaker and author, with a mission to help women love their bodies, experience deep intimacy and have great sex, shame-free. Instagram: _rena.martine_Website: renamartine.comSupport the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJa

How do you break out from societal norms? What does it take to design a relationship that we can thrive in? What happens when you open your mind to all the possibilities? In this week’s episode, we bring you another installment of Fox Tales: stories of people who are living, loving and connecting in unique ways. Jacqueline balances a life with her daughter, her wife, and her partner living between two homes. Jacqueline tells the story of how she went from a hetero-mono-normative marriage, to this very unique parallel poly vee relationship. More about JacquelineJacqueline Misla is a queer, Latine, mother, polyamorous partner, writer, podcaster, and change strategist. She works with companies and individuals to create pathways towards audacious and impactful change. Jacqueline holds a Master's Degree in Social Work, and is certified in Complex Change Theory and Strategic Visioning.Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacqueli

Are periods simply a burden for women to bear? Can menstruation education cause systemic change for the better in women's welfare? What are the implications of women revitalizing menstrual practices on society and the earth? In this special episode, Effy talks to the co-founder of EcoFemme Kathy Walkling about how rethinking menstruation and menstruation education can cause radical social change in women’s welfare. Kathy explains EcoFemme’s approach to menstruation that is healthy, environmentally sustainable, culturally responsive and empowering and Effy has a profound shift in her relationship with her body and the earth as the conversation unfolds. To find out more about KathyKathy Walkling is the co-founder of Eco Femme, a women-led social enterprise working to create environmental and social change by promoting menstrual practices that are healthy, dignified, affordable and eco-positive. Kathy heads Eco Femme’s research and not-for-profit menstrual health education and pad distribution programmes, P

What is couple privilege? How does it differ from hierarchy in relationships? How does it affect relationships? How can we design our relationships with privilege and hierarchy in mind? In this revised episode, Effy and Jacqueline reflect on couple privilege and hierarchy in relationships on Valentine’s Day when these dynamics can really be accentuated and exasperated. They share suggestions on how to elevate our relationships beyond these limitations and nurture ethical connections across all our relationships. Support the showConnect with us on IG and more:Curious Fox @wearecuriousfoxesEffy Blue @coacheffyblueJacqueline Misla @jacquelinemisla Email us or send a voice memo: listening@wearecuriousfoxes.comJoin the conversation: fb.com/WeAreCuriousFoxes

What is sexual morality? How do we decide what is right and wrong when it comes to sex? Is it universal or does it change across cultures? How does moralizing sexuality affect our individual sexual expression and our views on sex as a society?In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline explore sexual morality with insights from Dr. Kelly Asao who is a professor of psychology at Westminster College in Salt Lake City. Dr. Asao teaches classes on human sexuality and conducts research on the intersection of meaning and morality. Dr. Asao shares the seven components to sexual morality according to a major study and reveals the biological driver behind what we deem as right or wrong. To learn more about Dr. Kelly AsaoMy goal is to inspire academic curiosity and deep learning in my students. I enjoy teaching smaller classes that allow for individualized attention, advanced subject matter, and real-world application (e.g. research projects, demonstrations, excursions). My classes utilize a flexible combination of dis

What is borderline personality disorder and what causes it? How does it affect familial and romantic relationships? What does treatment look like? What can people with loved ones who have BPD do?On this week’s episode Effy and Jacqueline take on one of the most elusive mental health struggles that predominantly show up in the relational context with the help of psychiatrist and the author of I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality and Sometimes I Act Crazy: Living with Borderline Personality Disorder Dr. Jerold Kreisman. They discuss the characteristics of this disorder, how it impacts relationships and strategies for those who have loved ones with BPD. To learn more about JeraldDr. Kreisman graduated from Cornell University Medical College and concluded residency in psychiatry at The National Institute of Mental Health in Washington, D.C., and at St. Louis University.He is board certified in Psychiatry and is an Associate Clinical Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at

What is masochism and why do people engage in it? What is the difference between consenting to pain as a means to an end/ byproduct of an activity (e.g., ballerinas and competitive eaters) vs. pain on purpose? What are the benefits and the costs to pain as pleasure? What does masochism have to say about the human experience?In this week’s episode, Effy and Jacqueline take a deep dive into pain for pleasure with science reporter, noted masochist and the author of Hurts So Good, Leigh Cowart. Leigh broadens our understanding of masochism by drawing parallels between the experience of people who pursue pain for sexual pleasure and those who endure pain for sense of satisfaction, achievement or self expression, such as competitive eaters, ultramarathon runners and ballet dancers. They normalize our desire for pleasure by offering an open and honest commentary of their own experiences. More about Leigh CowartLeigh Cowart is a researcher and journalist whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, New York Magazi

Why is understanding our uniqueness important to having great sex? What is the dual control model in the context of sexuality and how does it affect our desire? What steps can we take to develop a healthy relationship with sex and sexuality after experiencing trauma or sex negative conditioning?In this episode, Effy and Jacqueline have a rich conversation with Dr. Emily Nagoski about how the societal scripts we are handed according to our sex-at-birth impact our sexual expression and how these scripts are endorsed through many channels throughout our lives. Emily explains how there are accelerators and brakes that calibrate our desire and talks about her upcoming book about the three characteristics of the couples who sustained strong sexual connection.Recommended books that you have to check out:Come As You AreBurnoutThe Come As You Are WorkbookThe Body Keeps the ScoreMagnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary LoversTo learn more about Emily Nagoski, PH.D (she/her/they)Emily Nagoski is the award-winning aut