Feminist Wellness

#270: In a world where codependence and independence are posited as the only two options for how we can show up, you’re not alone if you feel a sense of tension in either way of being. Interdependence offers a healthy middle ground to these extremes, but what does interdependence actually look like, and how do we practice it?    Tune in to this episode to learn the differences between codependent relating and interdependence, and why interdependence in relationships feels so much better. I’m showing you what interdependence really looks like, both in relationship with yourself and others, and two pieces of homework that will help you begin moving the needle toward interdependence.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/270

#269: There are a lot of things in the world right now that we could tell worried stories around, and our nervous systems jump to worry because they’re here to protect us. But the truth is, worry never accomplishes anything. Taking action, on the other hand, does.   If you want to get out of the habit of worrying and release your nervous system from this uncomfortable feeling, then today’s episode is for you. Tune in for a replay of one of our most valuable episodes where you’ll learn why worrying is always optional and I help you recognize where being stuck in the habit of worrying is holding you back in your life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/269

#268: If you’ve been doing thought work for a while and have noticed yourself ruminating, or your thoughts moving into the land of self-criticism, you’re not alone. I've been there and so have many of my clients. Today, I want to offer a gentle reminder about the power of reconnecting to our physical bodies in our self development work.    In this episode, I’m sharing the reasons why our connection with our bodies’ deep intelligence is crucial as we learn to reclaim our presence and regulate our nervous systems. You’ll learn how to rebuild your somatic connection by honoring your biological impulses, and helpful questions to ask yourself to get out of your head and back into your body.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/268

#267: Whether you find yourself moving through the world chronically offended, or know someone who does, taking things personally is super exhausting. Feeling criticized hurts, it keeps us out of presence, and it sows discord in all of our relationships. So why then do we do it? And how can we step out of this habit?   Join me this week to hear why you might be in the habit of taking things personally and how to stop. I’m showing you why taking things personally is a common survival tool for emotional outsourcers, how we unwittingly create drama when we take things personally, and remedies that will help you step out of this habit and build a more supportive, loving sense of self.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/267

#266: This week, I’m bringing you a live coaching call with one of my amazing clients inside my six-month program, Anchored: Overcoming Codependency. If you’ve ever wondered what goes on inside Anchored and what the coaching in this program looks like, this episode is for you.   I’m taking my wonderful client Kelly through the thought work protocol and the somatics model we use inside the program to connect with our bodies, inner children, and inner emotional parts. Tune in to experience the kind of support you'll get inside Anchored, and see what it can look like to start releasing your codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/266

#265: Something I hear quite often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified as soon as they're in relationship, especially romantic relationship. Why does this happen?   Join me this week as I explore the crossfire between our independence and our almost desperate need to connect with and please others. I'll share some of the psychological factors at play that lead to a heightened sense of codependence and people-pleasing inside relationships and my favorite remedies for stepping out of the shadow of old habits and into the light of self-awareness.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/265

#264: Did you know that the health of some of your most important bodily systems – from your nervous system to your reproductive function – is impacted by how loved, safe, and secure you feel in the world? Relating is one of the most vital parts of being a human, and this week, I'm joined by Master Life Coach and self-proclaimed relationship nerd Maggie Reyes to discuss how to do it better.   Listen in as Maggie and I dive into the importance of cultivating coregulation in our relationships, what it means to relate to others with gentle loving kindness, and why our nervous systems are at optimal function when we’re relating well.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/264

#263: We can’t end this month of love without touching on one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves: platonic love. This week, I’m introducing you to several of my closest friends –  Suneye, Jules, and Juana – and we're exploring why our friendships are the perfect playground to practice healthy relating.    Join us as we discuss why you should consider who you’re keeping in your circles, the power of treating your friends like your most beloved family, and how to release the story that it’s hard to make friends as an adult.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/263

#262: My guest this week has a story that is truly emblematic of what’s possible when you choose you. Like so many people in helping professions, Lashonda Payne was noticing some emotional outsourcing patterns in her life until she decided she needed support. By joining our Anchored community, almost-doctor Lashonda showed herself the power of self-love and unconditional care, and she’s offering the gifts that have come from doing this work on this episode.   Join us this week as Lashonda and I discuss why emotional outsourcing is a norm for people in helping professions, how this work has impacted Lashonda’s relationships, and the importance of choosing self-love as you embark on a journey of healing.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/262

#261: I have the most special treat for you this week! I am finally and with so much pride introducing you to my wife, Billey Albina. There is so much in how Billey and I interact that demonstrates the full embodiment of living in interdependence, and I know that sharing about our relationship will be helpful for all of you who want to free yourselves from co-dependency and people-pleasing.   Tune in this week to hear Billey and I share about our love, our interdependence, and how we keep our relationship a safe and loving place for both of us. We walk through our six ground rules for fair fighting, how we handle conflict with each other, and the various tools we use to communicate effectively.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/261

#260: For many of us folks raised as women with people-pleasing tendencies, receiving compliments can feel like danger in the body. Even when the person’s intention is good, it can still leave us feeling exposed and uncomfortable. To discuss why this happens and what we can do about it, I’m joined by my friend, Master-Certified Sex and Pleasure Coach Danielle Savory.    Danielle and I discuss why receiving compliments, attention, and care can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and the power of asking for and giving consent in these conversations. Tune in to learn what is happening somatically when we are expected to receive, the connection between feeling safe and being seen, and why you can’t bypass the brain when bringing mindfulness to the body.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/260

#259: The modern dating experience can be incredibly isolating, but you’re definitely not alone if you feel like you’re struggling. My guest today, Lily Womble, is an intersectional feminist dating coach who’s here to break down the seemingly endless list of dumb dating rules we're fed today so we can actually create the epic, healthy love life we all want.   Lily Womble is the founder and CEO of Date Brazen: a company that helps badass feminist humans build joyful dating lives that make their right relationship inevitable. Join us on this episode as we explore what it means to take back our agency in dating, the importance of practicing self-compassion, and Lily’s intersectional feminist approach to settle-proofing your love life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/259

#258: How often do you catch yourself acting selflessly in an attempt to feel valued? You're not alone. Lots of us build our identity around the ways we're needed by others, sometimes without realizing it. Unfortunately, while feeling needed can temporarily satisfy a longing for connection or validation, this dependency creates a cycle of negativity that stands between us and true interdependence.    So how can we define a new version of ourselves? Join me this week to discover the true cost of needing to be needed, how you might be using your selflessness story as a cloak against taking responsibility, and my favorite remedies for beginning to step away from this story.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/258    

#257: Do you find yourself feeling confused or frustrated in situations that demand an emotional response? How did it come to be this way, and what can we do to reconnect with our feelings?    Avoidance of emotions in adulthood tends to overlap with an upbringing in which a "sweep-it-under-the-rug" philosophy was modeled, and this emotional silence leaves a profound and long-lasting imprint on us. Join me this week to learn the biological and psychological implications of growing up in an environment of emotional suppression, and how we can begin the process of emotional repair.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/257

#256: I’ve had the honor of being a regular contributor to the Honeydew Me Podcast, hosted by Emma Norman and Cass Anderson. I was recently on the show to dive deep into somatics, sex, and feeling our feelings, and it was such a great conversation that I’m sharing that episode with you here.   At Honeydew Me, Emma and Cass’s mission is to have conversations about mind-blowing orgasms, feeling confident in the bedroom, and busting through the shame of it all. Tune in as Emma, Cass and I explore why the work of somatics matters so much, and why we get somatically disconnected in the first place.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/256

#255: Our values offer us a sense of authenticity, which is critical for overcoming our emotional outsourcing habits. But embracing our values isn't just personal. It’s also a radical act of transformation in the face of systemic challenges like patriarchy and coloniality. So if embracing our values is so important, why do we often struggle to do it?   Join me this week to learn why being guided by your values matters, what happens when you begin living by your values, and some of my favorite remedies for identifying and embracing them.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/255

#254: Many of us engage in the ritual of New Year’s resolutions without really questioning it. It’s just what we do, right? But this tradition may not be as supportive of your overall wellness as you think. This week, I’m inviting you to consider how you’re using New Year’s resolutions, and whether you want to continue with this ritual.   Join me as I tease apart the practice of New Year's resolutions and help you assess how it's impacting you. You’ll learn how we tend to use New Year’s resolutions to beat ourselves up, why they often don’t last, and the keys to setting and keeping them in 2024.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/254    

Whether you’re with your family of origin, your partner’s family, or your chosen family this holiday season, there’s one thing families are known for: pushing our buttons. To help you navigate the holidays with more peace and ease this year, I’m sharing one of my favorite tools for dealing with your beloved button-pushers, and it’s called Of Course They Did!   If you often find yourself wishing the people in your life were different, even though they’re doing exactly what they’ve always historically done, this is the episode for you. Join me this week to learn what Of Course They Did entails, and how it gives you a moment of pause to ground yourself and remember how you want to think, feel, act, and be in this world.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/253

#252: Lately on the podcast, we've been exploring the state of functional freeze – what it is, how it came to be, and how to shift out of it. If functional freeze has been your default for a while, you may notice some uncomfortable feelings crop up when you step out of it. That's why today I'll be helping you understand what happens internally once you emerge from functional freeze, and my top tips for adapting to your evolving self.   Join me this week to learn how moving out of functional freeze is a journey of rediscovering healing, why it’s often filled with challenges but also growth, and how to be kind to yourself as you find your way back to a deeper, more connected, grounded you.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/252

#251: Kara Loewentheil is the internationally-renowned host of the Unf*ck Your Brain podcast and author of the forthcoming book Take Back Your Brain. She helps women identify and disrupt the destructive narratives society has taught us to think about ourselves, and she’s here this week to dive into what it means to take back your brain.   Join us on this episode as we dive into the thought work tool and the practice of somatics, and how both of these lenses are pivotal in releasing what’s currently holding you back. We’re exploring the central tenets of intersectional feminism, why there’s no perfect system for changing your experience, and how to get closer to living a life that feels aligned with your being.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://victoriaalbina.com/251