Don't Have Cows

I could only make up 12.5 minutes, unfortunately. Sorry! :) Paratha ad.Alec Baldwin, 4th wall.Posit: preemptive sexual contact with animals in a structured and comprehensive way, as a way of identifying the next pandemic before it happens.Bitter melon chunk.Hyothetical PSA: especially dont fuck these animals.Nobody; my horny ass.Hydrangeras are the only species of plant that literally has sex.Spicy food to a baby.Middle-of-the-night thirst hits different.Play ep - 064 - The Hour-Long Extravaganza!

Theme. Babes and bedlamites. “I’m a Good Guy” b-side voice memo (lmk if you wanna work on this song together online). Seaside segment. Neighbours hate me ;). Right-toe. Weather. Cross about jelly. “Puffy jackets.” Closing thoughts. Mental health stigma. Credits.Play 063 - Right-o (audio, 9.3MB)

COFFEE live broadcast on Triple R FM. I can be very petty 1 (buried with the bottle). Weird people’s licence plates. I can be very petty 2 (industry frenemies affectionately call me “Tom” as in Tom Petty). Netflix sizzle reel application: the controversial transphobic chunk. Mugs outro.Play ep (mp3 link, 6.6 MB)

Bands renamed as eye movements. “G.I. Jane 2 - can’t wait to see it.” “Something came up” pick-up line.▶ Ep 061 (mp3 link, 4MB)

Kate > Meghan. Directions trope. 69 Shades. Doh-nuts! “I love dogs!”Play ep 60! [mp3 link]

Monday 29th August, 2011 had been a perfect San Francisco day - a high of 68º F, clear skies with passing cloud. I was on a once-in-a-lifetime trip with one of the loves of my life, and we had spent that day in the Mission district, wandering around, drinking Four Loco, and without a care in the world.The rest of the week would be spent busily sight-seeing, shopping, dining, and making many memories that I will forever hold as some of the happiest in my life.But when I jolted awake in our hotel room shortly after midnight to the sound of gun fire, a completely innocent man’s life had been snuffed out for no reason just a couple of short blocks away. This is the story of the murder of Gaspar Puch-Tzek.Play ep 059 - Gaspar “Tio” Puch-Tzek.

nounshellacking. shel·​lack·​ing | \ shə-ˈla-kiŋ | Definition of shellacking: a decisive defeat : DRUBBINGSynonyms: beating, defeat, drubbing, licking, loss, lump, overthrow, plastering, rout, trimming, trouncing, whipping.Antonyms: success, triumph, victory, win.https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/OAuGlQWL/7ee10d8d-dd81-4b87-a84d-976b70da68bd.mp3Play ep: https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/OAuGlQWL/7ee10d8d-dd81-4b87-a84d-976b70da68bd.mp3

Free Solo filmmakers are back. Ad without the word ‘deadly’ in it. Long story-short re being rat-fucked by my own largesse again.🔊 Play 057 - Rat-fucked…

Housemate walk of shame, pre-covid. Out of French Onion dip. In stink. Sore left arm. Anti-mandate squad. “It just works!” Don’t tell a friend, don’t share on social - if you don’t want to! 🇦🇺🐨👍LUKEHAND: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/lukehand/id1260332519Luke Hand Diary: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/luke-hand-diary/id1570320531Play 056 - LVI

March 500-sommin 2020. 6 PM meridian. My parents doing the nasty. Finding a dead body on a complete fluke. 🙉 OH: the s-word, tee hee!! 🙊https://p0.f0.n0.cdn.getcloudapp.com/items/9ZuQ2Nkb/375d4e9d-0544-43c0-9a46-67f021b85a2d.mp3

Hello / Hairdresser with trichophillia / Walkin away / Everybody’s an Epidemiologist / a yawning gap / What the hell is Call ID?!Play 054 - Everybody’s an Epidemiologist 🙄

breathe 

Al Piede (hooray!) | Cookie | Didnt see it coming (Har Mar Superstar) | Working class patois | BAN vanilla essence!! | Outro (hey?)Play ep mp3

This episode contains explicit content. Please do NOT play within earshot of children. Or millennials ;)Be vulnerable. | SHEESH. | You had an awesome childhood. | Sex worker pasta (recipe: https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/spaghetti-puttanesca). | Edwards Bridge. | Vegan Faggots with onion gravy (recipe: https://sozosquare.com/vegan-faggots-with-onion-gravy/). | Hey, grassy knoll shooter…?051 - Contains Swearing, Slurs, and Mature Themes MP3

Irish/kiwi/aussie intro. your old man’s plums. safe words during nastee sex. this day in history - April 14. immature audience CW. Hot and Not. Millenials dont eat much soup. “Closure.”Play 050 - GOLD. 

Luke’s tinder: https://go.tinder.com/RF5txGBFklY-Luke Feedback encouraged! Ya gotta help me!! MuhammadNguyenSmith@gmail.comTomato Is a Fruit audio file URL.

Work bants, Frued, insurance Claus, February grateful things. ▶️ Play episode.

Sponsor: lukehandtestandtag dot comPlay ep 047

need a coffee like a hole in the head. lazy anesthetist. 2020 has been extra. trump soundbite. woke dog whistle salesperson. L-plater news story. Play ep 046